tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22467328368847621242024-03-05T18:13:12.506-06:00The Word That SuitsJesus In Your Life, Jesus In Your Home, Jesus In Your Work Making The DifferenceDerinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.comBlogger395125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-37786128766169145202023-11-01T22:08:00.000-06:002023-11-01T22:08:15.101-06:00Why Do We Worship God<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_RfVp4WS9Oij07iVwW2wf0e7LoMNm0qt9Cz4JTF0aB31Yv9ue7ThPsQY63Wx43DvSa6ICPVd-F5x4B5fdz4vYTXObb8TC6TFLdEHJOGWvWAvNI-w2F1lyHpBtHaLKJ63H5XphOtcZ58PK1EwttyV0vmuiPaZPGb5gsewXYZ5CIrJ7WK7mKqyVtoOXaw/s940/Things%20Happen%20when%20we.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="940" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_RfVp4WS9Oij07iVwW2wf0e7LoMNm0qt9Cz4JTF0aB31Yv9ue7ThPsQY63Wx43DvSa6ICPVd-F5x4B5fdz4vYTXObb8TC6TFLdEHJOGWvWAvNI-w2F1lyHpBtHaLKJ63H5XphOtcZ58PK1EwttyV0vmuiPaZPGb5gsewXYZ5CIrJ7WK7mKqyVtoOXaw/s320/Things%20Happen%20when%20we.png" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p>Many people feel like they should only praise God when they have received a blessing from God. Honestly, I was in that category too, so I am not in any position to judge those who are still of that mindset. It is so easy to praise God when you have it all together. But how do you tell someone who cannot put food on the table, pay his/her bills, or has just lost a loved one to praise God? It’s a tough thing to do.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Sometimes you wonder why in 1 Thessalonian 5:18, Paul would say that in all things we should give thanks. Sometimes, it seems as if God is asking for a little too much. Does He not feel our pain? Does God not recognize grief? But I tell you one truth, God feels pain far more than any living being can ever imagine. He’s been betrayed, insulted, accused of wrongs, blamed for our own wrongdoing and mistakes, and still had to send His son to die for our sins, not minding our ungratefulness, and in all these things He still loves us. So, there must be a reason God will tell us to rejoice always and give thanks in all things.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">We have read the story of the wall of Jericho falling flat just because God’s children praised, we have read of Jehoshaphat going to war with drums, and instruments of praise instead of spears and arrows and still was victorious. We have also read of Paul and Silas in prison with that famous earthquake all in the place of praise.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">But what gives me goose-pimples is found in 2 Kings 3:14-18. I would not want to bore you with the details of the big story, but in summary, three kings who were in trouble consulted Elisha to know the mind of God on the predicament they had found themselves in. The first thing Elisha requested, was a musician and when the music was playing the hand of the Lord was on him and he became the mouthpiece of God.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">The Bible tells us in Psalm 22:3 that God dwells in the praises of His children. Despite all the troubles you may have faced or are facing, the truth is still that God dwells in your praise because His word says so. If He dwells in your praise, you draw His attention with your praise. Just like God spoke through Elisha when the music was playing so He speaks till date when praises are raised to Him. Fresh ideas and divine directions are all embedded in the presence of God, and they are deposited to us when we draw into His presence with our praise and worship. No wonder Paul will say, in all things give thanks. This is because all the answers to your many questions are engrained in the presence of God that you invite to yourself when you praise God.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Does God still speak to us when we praise Him? The answer is a big Yes. I shared my experience of three years ago in the last post I shared, and I still hear from God amid my praise and worship. You will hear Him too when you develop a life of worship. You will not just hear God; He will deal with that issue that is giving you sleepless nights because that too is a simple matter in the sight of God. </p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p></blockquote>Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-80247926750245264332023-10-29T21:36:00.003-06:002023-10-30T21:52:44.638-06:00My Journey Out of Despair<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZJ9wp7-rO0CyKrH2O1N0dykrn82XwDSs7FhyphenhyphenuKnXDdEC6mjGwoMIwUPQPrqmu8NMkXOEeFS4MstaOr0NKtnTQtI5MrV-R9fT0EszXIqHB6p3xWjhvOe3htyqweyyKfzR8PY4i9jX0PvOmJNI7X3mT27SRE9sF2pPrHVQRFvFhU3-a6TMNOxSPuXjyug/s940/The%20love%20of%20my%20Father%20(2).png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="940" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZJ9wp7-rO0CyKrH2O1N0dykrn82XwDSs7FhyphenhyphenuKnXDdEC6mjGwoMIwUPQPrqmu8NMkXOEeFS4MstaOr0NKtnTQtI5MrV-R9fT0EszXIqHB6p3xWjhvOe3htyqweyyKfzR8PY4i9jX0PvOmJNI7X3mT27SRE9sF2pPrHVQRFvFhU3-a6TMNOxSPuXjyug/s320/The%20love%20of%20my%20Father%20(2).png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">I woke to do my morning worship; it’s been more than
three years since I shared a blog post. Sharing stuff on my blog was a big
passion for me, it was something I did effortlessly with the help of the Holy
Spirit, and I enjoyed every day and every opportunity to share something on my
blog.</span></div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then the battles began, things just were not looking good for
me. I became unmotivated, and posting anything on the blog became a big struggle.
My challenges stifled the motivation out of me. I needed to put the blog aside to
tackle the many issues that were taking my attention away from my passion.
Everything stopped and then everything began. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What do I mean by everything stopped and everything began?
Well, I stopped all that I was doing, I almost gave up on God, and then I
became very busy with things that didn’t matter, but that my environment and
circumstances laid at my feet. I didn’t lose sight of God but something in me
just stopped. I am struggling now with how to put my experience into
words. However, one of the things that the challenge took away from me was my
passion for writing my blogs. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But in the midst of it all, I found God in a very different
manner. One tool the Lord used to get me out of the state of despair which some
people call depression, but I wouldn’t want to call me depressed, was worship.
So, while I was wallowing in self-pity and asking God why things were not
going as I had hoped and prayed for, I came across a gospel music minister on
YouTube while on my bed of sorrow. I listened to her sing, initially with a blank
mind but just because I loved gospel music and my love for God was still
intact. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And then something clicked, the song I was listening to with
a blank mind grew into deep worship for me. I felt God close to me like I
could feel His presence like I had never done. And I heard Him speak to me like
I had never heard Him before. You probably would think He consoled me and told
me everything would be fine. Well, that was not the case. He showed how
ungrateful I was. He reminded me of my near misses in life and how undeserving
I was of the grace I had enjoyed. And just because it didn’t feel like what I
wanted I began to grumble. I allowed the devil to sell me a lie for the truth I
should know. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I cried like I had never done before in my life. I was truly and
honestly sorry. Remembering all my wrongdoings that God did not hold against
me was very humbling for me. I prayed for forgiveness and then I told myself that that place of deep worship was where I would remain for the rest of my life.
It’s been three years since I had that encounter with God, and I am most
grateful to Him that He visited me that way. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s been three years of a newness in my walk with God that I
cannot trade for anything else. God has been good to me. I have enjoyed God in
a way that my heart keeps falling in love with Him every second of every minute
of every day. My testimonies are many, His grace is huge in my life, and now I
am the most grateful. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Those little blessings that I would normally take for
granted now count for something in my life and daily I recognize them and
thank God for them. The more I have learned to thank God for those little
blessings, the more little blessings I have, to thank God for. Those little
blessings have grown into huge testimonies for me.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I fell into depression back then because I didn’t have
money. I just could not keep up. But guess what, I still don’t have money. But
I have it all together. I am neither rich nor poor, but I am contented in my
Father in heaven who takes care of those huge needs even before they show up. Now,
I am built to trust God who has not for once failed my trust or disappointed my
hope in Him. He tells me He loves me daily and He shows it. <o:p></o:p></p>
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: times;">So
back to my very first line, I woke early this morning to worship, I was
listening to one of my many favorite gospel music, and I felt this huge urge to write a blog.
Hmmm, I thought to wonder where this urge is coming from. But here I am
writing. I pray this blesses someone and I believe God that this will be
the beginning of a daily read from God through me like before in Jesus’ name.</span></span>Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-32695084201405616362020-09-03T12:01:00.002-06:002020-09-03T12:04:15.677-06:00The Advice You Need to Hear<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #1d2129;">In those days when I was having my issues in marriage, I had a close relative of my husband that I felt comfortable confiding in. I told her about my problems and sought her advice on my marital issues. She was my husband’s relative and I had assumed that getting advice from her and implementing same should help resolve my woes in marriage. Interestingly, she told me all the things I wanted to hear. She told me how foolish I was to have tolerated so much nonsense from my husband. She spoke to me so convincingly that I was so sure I had been a fool for too long and needed to free myself from the slavery called marriage. She told me she could not tolerate half the things I was tolerating from my husband. She said she was the breadwinner of her family and she had made it clear to her husband that she can’t be the one making the money for the family and at the same time be doing the house chores. So, since the husband could not provide money for the family, he should make himself useful by managing the home.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">As it were, the husband happens to be a homely man, he was very interested in the development of his children, to the point of helping them with their homework, giving them their medications when they were sick and even helping to fold in the clothes once they are dried, so it was easy to believe all the tales that my husband’s relative who happens to be my confidant and adviser told me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">As stupid as I was, whenever I visited this counselor of mine and she feeds me with all the trash that killed my marriage rather than build it, I will go back home to pick quarrels with my husband in the bid to liberate myself from the slavery of marriage. What I had learned was that I needed to claim my freedom and equality as it won’t be given to me if I didn’t demand it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">Then one faithful evening, I visited my counselor, she was just returning from work and was in the kitchen making dinner for her family. The husband who had also just returned from work was relaxing in their bedroom. I joined my counselor in the kitchen as I watched on while she cooked. She was teaching me an easy way of making pounded yam. A thing I knew before but just feigned ignorance so as not to injure her ego. When she was done with the cooking, she called out to her husband to know whether to serve him his dinner on the dining table or if he would rather want her to take his food to him in the bedroom where he was resting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">At this I was shocked, this was a very big contradiction to all the bragging she had made to me. Rather than the husband cooking and serving her food as she claimed, she was the one serving him food. So, she was doing things to preserve her marriage and was teaching me to destroy mine. The first awakening I got after that visit was that she didn’t come to me to advise me, I went to her, and after seeing that big difference between what she advised me to do and what she was practicing in her home, I realized how stupid I had been. And I made up my mind to stop going there of advice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">I am not the only one with this kind of experience, but I don’t know how many are wise enough to realize their mistakes before it's too late. Some wives have fallen prey to terrible marital advice from people who are even close to them. It's not strange to find mothers supporting their daughters to kill their marriages in the wake of troubles in the marriage. This advice coming from someone so close cannot be ignored or overlooked yet it’s the very wrong advice to get. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">When seeking and accepting advice on your marital issues and any other issue you might have, you need to be careful. It's not as good for people to advise you based on what you want to hear as much as it is perfect for people to tell you what you need to hear. The truth they say is very bitter, but in the long run, it leads to a glorious end. No matter how emotionally drained you may be, it is important that you seek advice and be ready and objective enough to hear and accept what you need to hear far above what you want to hear. And whatever advice you are given by whoever it may be that is in direct contrast from the truth of the Bible or does not sound morally right, then you can be sure you are being told what you want to hear far and above what you need to hear. What you need to hear might not be sweet to the ears but it’s the painful truth that leads to a glorious end. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">Getting advice on marriage issues from your parents or immediate family members sometimes (there are exceptions to this though) does not help in getting the issues resolved, most especially in extreme cases of maybe abuse in marriage or serious disagreements between spouses. This is so because emotions are brought to play. Your mother loves you dearly and would not want to see you hurt or broken in any way, so her objectivity in the matter is eroded by the emotions she feels. When emotions are attached to advise it diminishes the level of objectivity and bitter truth that should come from such advice. Again, I will insist that you cross-check all advice given to you as a means to help you surmount your marital challenge against the truth of the Bible. If there is a contradiction, don’t try to rationalize God, rather obey the word of God blindly. Doing that, you can never go wrong. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">I will say this, when you seek advice from anyone concerning your marriage and other personal issues, be alert enough to check the life of the one giving you the advice. What they are asking you to do, are they doing the same themselves? And if they are doing the same themselves, in what way has it benefited them? Are you seeing the results of their advice in their own lives such that you think it's worthy to copy the same and apply in your own life? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">After that one encounter, I did a detour and decided I would rather pray and read my Bible than to seek advice from anyone over my challenges. I thank God I had the time and space to do that at that time, today I am happy I made the right choice. </span><span face="" style="color: #1d2129;">You should too. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;"><span face="" style="color: #1d2129;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQdVJO032ZtnJINs8tNsdhyiqQXnQRJ4JMpwumecoiEH3BOgKz5_G39KCvsD-7fkVTPuRTw9oX6I4cUc7kzVFj4Gd9I0kaLNbB8SvZgBYirPCitWZ61IzRt8PzLICk_EvcCpsJQ4vlxAI/s1082/Blog+Template+5b.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="567" data-original-width="1082" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQdVJO032ZtnJINs8tNsdhyiqQXnQRJ4JMpwumecoiEH3BOgKz5_G39KCvsD-7fkVTPuRTw9oX6I4cUc7kzVFj4Gd9I0kaLNbB8SvZgBYirPCitWZ61IzRt8PzLICk_EvcCpsJQ4vlxAI/s320/Blog+Template+5b.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span face="" style="color: #1d2129;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-27758649956027942972020-08-20T03:22:00.005-06:002020-08-20T09:31:01.753-06:00Things Happen When We Pray<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I intend
to make this post a short read as I just would love to share an experience I
had a couple of weeks ago with you but I write as I am inspired by God, and so it
might just extend a little if the Lord wants it so.</span></div><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">On Father’s
Day of this year, I woke up in the morning and realized my husband was already
out of bed. I walked to the sitting room to look for him and found him there. I
attempted to give him a hug and greet him good morning and he playfully pushed
me away saying I didn’t wish him happy Father’s Day and that the children also didn’t
greet him happy Father’s Day even though the children were still in bed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">In
all honesty I didn’t realize it was Father’s Day until he made the accusation.
I felt really bad and tried to make amends but I wasn't making any headway. I
wondered how I didn’t remember that it was Father’s Day and what I could do
immediately to make up for the mistake. I scrambled my head to think of what I
could do to make the morning a special one. If my husband had complained then
it meant Father’s Day meant something to him and he wants it acknowledged. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
went into my closet to think hard but nothing came to mind. I couldn’t afford
to buy him a gift because I was broke. But then I did what I normally would do
in crisis mode and in fact all the time in my life. I quickly prayed. I ran to God
for ideas on what I could do in the light that I couldn’t get a befitting gift
and the need to redeem the situation and make my husband feel special so he doesn’t
carry on the thought that we take him for granted in his home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Guess
what the Lord told me to do? He told me to write a special message with my
husband’s pictures and put it on my WhatsApp status. In my wildest dream, I couldn’t
have imagined doing that. I am too busy for social media, and I only see it as
a tool for showcasing my business and most importantly reaching people with "The Marriage Blog Today". <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Well
I was quick to run to do what God had put in my mind and I wrote a heartfelt
message for my husband put it as my WhatsApp status and put so many pictures
of him on my status and even got our children to do the same. I made them pen a
message as they felt it in their heart to their father and put on their WhatsApp status too for
that day until WhatsApp itself disabled the status update. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll white; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Did
this work? O yes, it did. My husband saw all our messages and that made him feel
like a worthy father. And then I began to think, what if I didn’t pray. How on
earth could I think that putting up a message for my husband on my WhatsApp
status would actually improve my husband’s state of mind on Father’s Day? Every
time I think of this, I can’t help but wonder about the awesomeness of God. He
brings big things out of very little things. God helped me solve what could
have turned out to be a big issue in my marriage using absolutely nothing. And please don't wonder too long on why I am saying a big issue. You just can't imagine the level of damage the devil is capable of doing with this simple issue if not handled properly. I didn’t
have to spend the money that I didn’t have and yet I got the desired results. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">I write this to encourage someone today, there is
absolutely nothing too irrelevant to pray about. The tiny issues of our
marriages which we ordinarily would look down on are the things the devil would
try to hold onto to destabilize our homes and try to fulfill his evil agenda in
our marriages. A little prayer at the right time is all that is needed. From
the very big issues of your life to the very tiny ones, trust God with them.
Don’t bother to try to figure it out yourself, just practice the act of hearing
from God as you pray, He has the ideas to resolve those issues far more than
you can imagine. God does the work and you get the accolades when you learn to
pray and trust Him. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibjdmJl1hFZVV71nwYn1XFp0FzUtUtwOE5U_Al8vQW0FJYm7et4td7NUiyqg_5Y-M2F1t0FT_-nI63cQ-fAsRiFgfFMI8hQmpwGSveVCsc3Mxm1O_Q6XzYHirgAY5tDtyAa3HQWV8rCQ4/s1080/Blog+Template+4b.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="566" data-original-width="1080" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibjdmJl1hFZVV71nwYn1XFp0FzUtUtwOE5U_Al8vQW0FJYm7et4td7NUiyqg_5Y-M2F1t0FT_-nI63cQ-fAsRiFgfFMI8hQmpwGSveVCsc3Mxm1O_Q6XzYHirgAY5tDtyAa3HQWV8rCQ4/w410-h214/Blog+Template+4b.png" width="410" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaWRD1sKUj3OG8PM_lPbY8vuz45Selt0p49JAC-D6baXGRQYPZt7uKT_HKJ2AxKquudDtXHJdZbJGtJMLgdVi4Zcq6XMDJFgUZ66sNv0HV50FAfRpoJPmMfEsL2x6_Bq-TBFr2AxPMwzs/s983/God%2527s+Rules+of+Engagement+in+Marriage+Mockup+1aa.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="983" data-original-width="665" height="328" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaWRD1sKUj3OG8PM_lPbY8vuz45Selt0p49JAC-D6baXGRQYPZt7uKT_HKJ2AxKquudDtXHJdZbJGtJMLgdVi4Zcq6XMDJFgUZ66sNv0HV50FAfRpoJPmMfEsL2x6_Bq-TBFr2AxPMwzs/w222-h328/God%2527s+Rules+of+Engagement+in+Marriage+Mockup+1aa.png" width="222" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The book "God's Rules of Engagement in Marriage" is a life-changing book authored by me in partnership with the Holy-Spirit. This book changed my marital life for the best. Though I wrote the book, in truth, I learned from it more. To share the goodies of this book with me you can buy a copy of the eBook for as little as N1600. To learn more about the book and how you can download the eBook, please click on this <a href="https://wp.me/P9Dn6p-1I0" target="_blank">link</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div></div>
Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-14322533012351674782020-08-05T02:02:00.001-06:002020-08-08T02:01:03.992-06:00Give Her Wings and Let Her Fly<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">I facilitated
a marriage seminar sometime back, and I was to speak alongside another male
speaker so we could have a holistic view and presentation about marriage to
our audience. It was at that seminar that I had a better understanding of
the social anatomy of a man. From what the male speaker taught us, men are wired to be
driven by achievements, and the narrative tagged “You have to be a man” erodes
the emotional side of a man which is growing to become a great dysfunction in
the male gender. This was what I learned from the seminar, and my big takeaway
from that program and giving it a deep thought, it is looking to be more true
than false. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">If
this is true, then the husbands who are driven by achievements, and have been
well baptized into the “You have to be a man” narrative sees competition in
everything including their relationships with their wives. So, for such men
they will do everything to be a man in the home which includes submerging
their wives under them. "They must achieve far more than their wives" will be
their driving force and any sign of their wives achieving anything they perceive
to be beyond their own achievement or at par with their own achievements will
be resisted by them and even though they do not say it out, they think about it
and attempt to distort such growth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Some
men who lack maturity have given reasons such as their wives becoming non-submissive
to them when she becomes successful in life as a reason for preventing her from
becoming successful in the first instance. But why die before death comes? Why
not let her become successful first before making a judgment? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; line-height: normal; margin: 4.5pt 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span face="" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
agree that some women get uncontrollable in their marriages once they become
successful but that is an issue that God can adequately take care of when you
hand over the situation to Him. He is the giver of success anyway so what is
beyond Him. He disciplines and chastises as He deems fit, He is God. As a
husband, do you pray? And do you trust God to answer when you pray? Have you
developed your listening ear to hear from God? If your answer to all these
questions is Yes, then give your wives wings and let them fly and go the extra
mile by being the wind beneath their wings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 110%;">Your wife’s success is
your back up plan. It is your fall back option when things go wrong because she
is God’s assigned helper for your life. In Genesis 2:18-30, we see that God
created your wife for you as your suitable helper. Proverbs 18:22 shows us that
“he who finds a wife finds what is good and obtains favor from God” and so your
wife is the container carry God’s favor for your life. When the container of
your favor is full, you are an all-round blessed man. Do not destroy your
support base just because you lack understanding. Do not imbibe a destructive
mentality and inhibit the growth of your support base because you think your
base will be bigger than you. No matter how big your base is, it will forever
remain your support base.</span></p> <span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib5moAOkVFre0ItMiRDq0e6doLf_ZZ81urcuI_X76DykWQ-7h9st0gP2-Ll9HtFvUxvwkwzXNrw2HKpUpTtDhHdNNlzNNvC5gNY5PHZsX1pTv8Gon5Zt8bZcDhPoDixhEB2707V16aCTQ/s1081/Blog+Broadcast+Template+3b.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="566" data-original-width="1081" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib5moAOkVFre0ItMiRDq0e6doLf_ZZ81urcuI_X76DykWQ-7h9st0gP2-Ll9HtFvUxvwkwzXNrw2HKpUpTtDhHdNNlzNNvC5gNY5PHZsX1pTv8Gon5Zt8bZcDhPoDixhEB2707V16aCTQ/w410-h214/Blog+Broadcast+Template+3b.png" width="410" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaWRD1sKUj3OG8PM_lPbY8vuz45Selt0p49JAC-D6baXGRQYPZt7uKT_HKJ2AxKquudDtXHJdZbJGtJMLgdVi4Zcq6XMDJFgUZ66sNv0HV50FAfRpoJPmMfEsL2x6_Bq-TBFr2AxPMwzs/s983/God%2527s+Rules+of+Engagement+in+Marriage+Mockup+1aa.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="983" data-original-width="665" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaWRD1sKUj3OG8PM_lPbY8vuz45Selt0p49JAC-D6baXGRQYPZt7uKT_HKJ2AxKquudDtXHJdZbJGtJMLgdVi4Zcq6XMDJFgUZ66sNv0HV50FAfRpoJPmMfEsL2x6_Bq-TBFr2AxPMwzs/s640/God%2527s+Rules+of+Engagement+in+Marriage+Mockup+1aa.png" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face="" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "arial", "tahoma", "helvetica", "freesans", sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Here is an eBook authored by me titled "God's Rules of Engagement in Marriage". It's a wonderful guide to glorious marriage. You can get a copy of the book from my online bookshop by clicking on this link </span><span style="font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;"><font color="#666666" face=""><a href="https://wp.me/P9Dn6p-1I0" target="_blank">https://wp.me/P9Dn6p-1I0</a></font></span></div></div></span></div>
Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-81147625779110150632020-07-23T18:50:00.001-06:002020-07-24T11:06:54.292-06:00The Silent Treatment Theory<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;">I learned a big lesson from the book of proverbs on what I want to call the silent treatment. Unlike what we are accustomed to on the need to express ourselves and how we feel, what I learned from Proverbs 17:28 and Proverbs 18:2 speaks more on the gains of keeping silent rather than expressing one’s self most especially when the timing is wrong. The inability to keep silent at the right time has led to a lot of abuse in marriages and even deaths in marriages.</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;">Surprisingly,
Proverbs 18:6 (NIV) says the mouth of a fool invites beatings, and the NKJV
version of Proverbs 18:6 says the mouth of a fool calls for blows. I am sure a
lot of people don’t know that this scripture exists in the Bible but the truth is that it
does. So, you need to then ask yourself, what is your mouth inviting? We then
read in Proverbs 17:28 that even a fool is thought to be wise when he keeps silent
and discerning when he holds his tongue. So contrary to the perception that you
must express yourself, keeping silent might actually do more good than speaking out at the wrong time.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">In
the face of arguments with your spouse would you rather air your views, express
yourself, or hold your peace. Is the need to be right greater for you than the
need to have a happy and loving marriage? Are you aware that your silence
speaks more than your voice? I learned all of these in the midst of turbulence
in my marriage and it solved for me more problems than I could ever imagine.
And truth be told no-one can quote silence, yet it speaks greater than words. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
lot of women, including men though, find it hard to be silent when they have issues
burning in their hearts. I am included in that category and we are all
learning together. But I have learned to overlook a lot of things in my marriage for the
singular reason of maintaining the peace of my home and because I hold my
marriage in greater esteem than the will to be right. I have learned to pray
hard before I speak if I have to speak at all. So, if those burning issues
come, that I am struggling to overlook, I pray first and when I have prayed and
still feel the urge to speak, I then ask God to speak through me and give me
words to say. Proverbs 16:24 teaches us that pleasant words are like a
honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Your words count for
something in your marriage. They can either heal it or tear it down. When you
are angry, pause, and pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">You
will agree with me that it is quite difficult to not express oneself most especially
when angry or hurt. I was in that position too, a long time ago, but I began to practice
this silent treatment theory until it became me. Now I keep silent effortlessly
and overlook issues easily now more than before because I have done it for many
years. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">It
is also true that the grace of God played a big role for me and some people are
of the opinion that some people have more grace to cope than others. The truth
is that the grace of God is like a river that flows unending. When you go to
the river to fetch water, the quantity of water you draw from the river is
determined by the size of the container you go to the river to draw water with.
A person who goes with a 50cl container will not draw the same quantity of
water as the person who goes with a 15ltrs container or a 50ltrs container. In
the same vein, the capacity of God’s grace that you receive is determined by
your brokenness and willingness to allow God to fill you up with His grace. As
long as you keep feeling you can handle it yourself you shut yourself up to God’s
help. So, when it appears that some receive more grace than you do, it's not
really so. It is that some have given God more room to act in them and through
them than you have. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">In
closing I will say that I have achieved far more with my silent treatment
theory than I could ever imagine. I have earned my husband’s love and respect
by holding my tongue and allowing God who can speak louder than I can ever
speak, speak through my silence on my behalf. I have seen positive results and
I can’t trade this for anything else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Mind
you, I still speak when I have too. But I get to pray before speaking and I
allow God to guide my words. And yes, I still slip sometimes and speak out of
anger, but that happens so very infrequently. So, you might not slip into the
silent treatment </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px;">mode</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">so easily but keep practicing it, keep being broken, and willing to let God do the talking on your behalf and never stop praying.</span><br />
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Here is an eBook authored by me titled "God's Rules of Engagement in Marriage". It's a wonderful guide to glorious marriage. You can get a copy of the book from my online bookshop by clicking <a href="https://thewordthatsuits.com/shop/gods-rules-of-engagement-in-marriage-ebook/" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-48319858741827548582020-07-13T15:22:00.000-06:002020-07-13T16:31:15.239-06:00How to Solve the Problem<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I was speaking with a friend one afternoon and she told me about another friend of hers (whom I do not know in person) that was having a serious marital issue. It appears the husband is having extra-marital affairs and she is totally broken by it (who won't be), and at a complete loss as to how to handle it. Though the husband is rich and gives her everything she needs and wants but he is not giving her the love and attention of a husband to his wife. She in turn nags a lot, monitors his movements, checks his phones but still, nothing has changed. Rather than the situation getting better, it’s getting worse and the husband can leave the home for days once they engage in their bout of quarrels which was getting a little too often. When I asked my friend to advise the woman to start to pray, she told me that the situation has degenerated to a point where the wife says she can’t find herself praying for her husband again. </div>
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The last statement of the previous paragraph is the main focus of my marriage blog today. Never allow your emotions to drive you to the point where you cannot seek the face of God for a change in your marital situation. I dare to say that there is nothing the lady above can do by herself that can bring her husband back home to her without the divine intervention of God. I say this with every sense of conviction because I know what it feels like to watch your marriage gradually slipping away from your grasp. It’s not your beauty, nor your ability to cook good meals, nor your expert knowledge in home-keeping or sex that can deliver you from such a situation such as this except the divine leading of the Holy Spirit on what to do to orchestrate the change you seek. </div>
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I have written in several of my blog posts that when you pray for God’s intervention in your marriage, He wouldn’t come and do magic on your husband, and then the next morning you wake up to see a brand new version of your husband lying in bed with you. That is not how God works. Rather when you pray, you learn to listen to God and He will teach you what to do and what steps to take that will bring about a change in your husband that you desire. The biggest part of the change starts with you and then your change brings about a change in your husband. </div>
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When I was trusting God and praying for His visitation in my marriage, He did visit and all I kept hearing from Him was to submit to my husband as unto the Lord. It felt awkward at that time as I had considered myself perfect in all my ways and that my husband was all the problem. But little did I know that even though I respected my husband so much, I didn’t obey him until the Lord showed me my fault and helped me make the necessary adjustment that resulted in the glorious change in my marital situation. From then to date I haven’t stopped going to God for every step I have to take, every direction I need to follow and I thank God that I am enjoying my marriage today. </div>
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The greatest undoing a wife can do to herself is to stop praying for her husband because what you want to get from him can only be gotten by divine wisdom that comes from God through prayers. Great ideas for a successful marriage comes from God, a wife who seeks a beautiful marriage must be a wife who seeks God first and get inspirations from God to run successfully her marital race. </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: justify;">Here is an eBook from me titled God's Rules of Engagement in Marriage. You can get a copy of it from my online book store by clicking this link </span><a href="https://thewordthatsuits.com/shop/gods-rules-of-engagement-in-marriage-ebook/" style="text-align: justify;">https://thewordthatsuits.com/shop/gods-rules-of-engagement-in-marriage-ebook/</a></div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-82397372112945833372020-07-07T12:29:00.001-06:002020-07-24T11:31:36.803-06:00Pray the Changes You Want in Your Marriage into Existence<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">I had planned to give up on the marriage blog, first and foremost because of the time constraint that I was beginning to suffer from, and also because the pageviews for the marriage blog was beginning to dwindle and I just assumed that people are beginning to outgrow what is shared on the blog. But a purpose will always remain a purpose and because of the joy I feel knowing that lives and marriages are been impacted by what is shared on the blog even if it's just a few people still reading it, it's still worth my resolve that it’s not a wise decision to just give it up. I sincerely seek the grace of God to help me continue and remain consistent in this assignment amidst the so many important things needing attention in my life.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Quite
a lot of issues have come to mind that requires discussing on the marriage blog
regarding issues of marriage. I was speaking to a young friend of mine who is
yet to marry and she told me that "Aunty, you need to understand that men of
your generation are quite different from the men of our generation," and that the
men of their generation are such that they are quite complacent with doing
nothing while they allow their wives to carry the bulk of the marital load. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I am
in my mid-forties, while she is in her early thirties and I cannot agree or
disagree with her point of view, but that reminds me of a speaking engagement I
was invited to sometime in 2018. It was supposed to be the married men
anniversary of a church and they were having a couple’s session and I was invited to come to speak to the couples from a woman’s perspective (those in attendance
at that meeting were not of the young generation, they were mostly in their
40s, 50s, and even 60s). During the question and answer part of the program, I
was asked by a wife that what should a wife who was supposed to submit to her
husband in everything do if the husband would not pick up the bills in the
home and take up his rightful leadership position even in financial matters
simply because he knows his wife is working and is capable of paying the bills
in the house? </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
answered the question at the meeting and would want to share the answer again
in today’s blog. A man by God’s calling on his life is the head of the home and
the leader in all things including being the leader in carrying the financial
responsibility of the home. If a man is unable to fulfill this role of a leader
in the home then such a man needs help, and because the wife is his suitable
helper, she is the one assigned by God to help him up. But helping your husband
in this regard does not mean taking up the responsibility that God has given
him as your own and doing for him what he is supposed to be doing as the head
of the home. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
help required from the wife primarily is to pray the glory of God down on her
husband such that everything he lays his hands upon to do he will begin to
prosper in it. That is the time to learn to encourage your husband with words
that will make him understand that his situation is only temporary and with God all
things are possible. Words have life in them and when you speak the right words
into the life of your husband in prayers and encouragement then life comes into his situation and dry bones will come alive for him again. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Now
imagine being the wife of the richest man on earth. Precisely whatever income
you earn as a wife to a very wealthy man is totally insignificant to your
husband because he has more than enough to bother about what you earn. So the
secret to your ultimate peace of mind in marriage when it comes to financial
matters is that as a wife you pray always and never stop praying that God will
make your husband so wealthy that what you earn, big as it may seem to you, becomes totally insignificant to him. Remember the fervent prayer of the
righteous avails much. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Far
more than your income can solve in this matter, your prayers in truth and with
love and sincerity can solve much more. So, get on your knees and begin to call
the changes you want to see in your marriage into existence. God is still in
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
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Here is an eBook from me titled God's Rules of Engagement in Marriage. You can get a copy of it from my online book store by clicking <a href="https://thewordthatsuits.com/shop/gods-rules-of-engagement-in-marriage-ebook/" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-23650830468607473742020-03-20T17:45:00.001-06:002020-03-20T17:45:56.524-06:00The Me I See in the Mirror<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In the recent past, I decided to
make some lifestyle changes. Personally, I love to learn, and in my adult life
I have developed a love for learning far more than I did when I was much
younger. I take as many online free courses that interest me as I can lay my
hands on. I developed my own eCommerce website with its full functionalities,
where you can buy lace, pay and have them delivered to you by in your home, all
by myself without writing codes. This I learned to do just from the
free online courses that I take. Currently, I am learning how to code, learning
the HTMLs, the CSS and Javascripts, all for free online. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
But then I also did some other
things to myself, like working on my waistline that has greatly enlarged due to
childbirth after four lovely children expanded the waistline making it almost
impossible for clothes to sit well on my skin and fit without the stomach bulging
annoyingly. I have had a haircut. These are some of the things that have taken
me off blogging and resulted in the inconsistency of you hearing from me regularly.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
First, I decided to do these for
myself and for my own sake. I want to look in the mirror and appreciate what I
see to be me. I want to be proud of the woman that stirs at me in the mirror
whenever I look at it and God has helped me greatly. But then all those personal
developmental steps that I have taken have had its positive impact on my
marriage. The woman my husband sees me to be, improves with every step I take to
develop myself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
While still being the prayerful,
home-keeping, great cook, supportive wife that I have been, I have added to it
a presentable looking woman who is daily defying aging, I have become an innovative
saleswoman, now I earn income, and cloths are beginning to look good on me. I
have even brushed up my make-up skills. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The result of what I do is
greatly telling on my marriage and I thank God for it. But I can’t tell you
that I do all these by myself, but every time I pray to God to show me what
else I can do to spice up my home and He gives me ideas, He gives me a platform
and shows me the technique and gives me the strength to do it all. So I am still the one
who washes the toilets in my house, cook the meals and clean the kitchen, sweep
the house and make beds, do the laundry and mend the torn cloths, help my
children with school needs, take care of them, listen to my husband when he
needs to talk, and yet I will not forget to exfoliate my body twice a week, get
my hair done as often as possible, work on my big tummy everyday and still make
out time to have a quality time of worship, spend a few hours on my computer
and then sell laces on social media. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Basically, it’s not impossible
for you to be all these and more, first, it takes you been intentional about
you, make room for no excuses and pray. While not leaving the big things,
understand that the little things also matter. It can be very crazy sometimes,
that much I can assure you, but there are million and one reasons why you won’t
succeed if you pay attention to those excuses. Never give failure a foothold in
your life and never go stale in your marriage. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br /></div>
Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-13844246876367270942020-03-16T03:40:00.000-06:002020-03-16T03:40:26.755-06:00What Do You Look Like 5 Years After Marriage?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So, in my last post, we discussed
a bit on the issue of the insecurity feeling in marriage. I said then and I still
maintain that in one's capacity you cannot stop a spouse who is bent on
cheating from actually cheating but you can trust God to do in your marriage
what you cannot do by yourself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
But today we will consider situations
whereby a spouse originally didn’t intend on cheating but found himself/herself
in such a mess owing to the negligence of his/her partner. In as much as I
wouldn’t want to give an excuse for cheating, I will say that there are some
things we do that might give our spouses reasons to be unfaithful to us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Now there are some things that
your spouse saw in you that made him/her prefer you as a choice of a life
partner far above other possible contenders. I know that prayer plays a big
role in choosing a life partner but there are some other additives that caused
an attraction between you two in the first instance. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
What happens in some marriages is
that those indicators that caused the attraction are downplayed or totally
eroded in some other marriages such that the husband or wife begins to look for
what he/she saw in their spouse that made them say the word “I do” on that
wedding day and totally can’t find a clew to those things and they begin to wonder why they agreed to the union in the first instance. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
One of those big indicators that
get lost in marriage is physical appearance. While some men experience
unattractive physical appearance after marriage, a lot of women find themselves
looking like a shadow of what they looked like before their marriages. For the women, one of the big
reasons for this is childbirth, which is inevitable, but I am also on the
learning that I shouldn’t lose myself to childbirth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
God has been gracious to us by
giving us a body, it is our responsibility to take care of that body which God
has given us to the best of our ability and even beyond. Rather than lose those
indicators and catalyst of attraction that drew your spouse to you which
resulted in marriage, you need to build on them. Growing old should not mean
growing stale. Despite the pressure of marriage, the pressuring of parenting
and many other pressures that might be distracting you, you need to take the
time out for yourself to pay attention to you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In addition to a wife being a
good home-maker, a good cook, a good mother, a perfect wife, a reliable
support, a prayer warrior, she also needs to be a beautiful woman, an attractive
lady to her husband, a lady that constantly defies aging signs, an intelligent
woman, a creative personality. It is when she is all these and more that she
becomes a total woman, an indispensable wife and at no time at all will her
husband wonder why he married her. Rather he is ever proud of himself that he
made the right choice. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Though most wives don’t really
worry over the looks of their husbands, yet some do. And husbands also ought not
to lose that one thing that made them attractive to their wives. In the midst
of the pressure of providing for the home, men should take the time out to deal
with their growing waistlines and potbellies. Looking good also means staying
healthy. So just as you are trying to maintain the good looks that contribute
to your confidence as a husband, you are also taking precautionary steps in
staying healthy and fit. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Never
let the fire of your marriage die, there will be challenges along the way but
they are always issues that you can overcome with God’s wisdom, with patience,
tolerance, and understanding. And also, never let your marriage go stale, don’t
get so consumed in the marriage that you forget to take care of you. You are a
vital part of the marriage, without you there is no marriage, once you get
stale your marriage gets stale also.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVEIzp0lCA0JtDSwGtPY3MKu-Bcvdo__uubeBzTdw2lRb3ab_NZnUe3Sunt4rce_BbINcUd0vIL1TpFLLfktBsZaIXBsXgQZDtzQBAx0d-z-cUO9OEzaEodfzEDByCOADBD_t1bDYyvbM/s1600/Blog+Template+2ab.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1600" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVEIzp0lCA0JtDSwGtPY3MKu-Bcvdo__uubeBzTdw2lRb3ab_NZnUe3Sunt4rce_BbINcUd0vIL1TpFLLfktBsZaIXBsXgQZDtzQBAx0d-z-cUO9OEzaEodfzEDByCOADBD_t1bDYyvbM/s320/Blog+Template+2ab.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-77615582120838420772020-03-11T08:00:00.000-06:002020-03-11T08:00:09.744-06:00Let's Talk Insecurity in Marriage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
One thing that gets a lot of
wives agitated in marriage is that guts feeling that their husbands may be
cheating on them and this is not limited to young couples. Even the older ones
get to have that sense of insecurity sometimes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Now, you might then want to ask if it’s
wrong to feel insecure in marriage. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with
you feeling insecure in marriage most especially when you can find one or two
signs that have necessitated a sense of insecure feeling. But then, the feeling of
insecurity can be extremely harmful to your marriage. When you begin to feel
insecure, then trust is on the collapse. With trust gone, then unity in
marriage makes its way out too. Suspicion then creeps in and brings with it
loads of misunderstandings, arguments, quarrels, and even fights. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Before I carry on with this post
I need to point to the fact that it’s not just that wives who are burdened with
the feeling of insecurity in marriage, it’s a two-way thing and so we will look
at this issue of insecurity in marriages from both the husband and wife’s point
of view. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="mso-comment-date: 20200310T0007; mso-comment-done: yes; mso-comment-reference: AO_1;">So</a>,
the main focus of this blog is knowing how to deal with insecurity in marriage.
One bitter truth about dealing with this kind of issue is that the resolution
to this issue all starts and ends with you. My number one solution to any problem is
with God. That is, my ability to present the problem to God listen for
instructions from Him and follow His leading on tackling the problem. So to
say that you should not expect your spouse to stop whatever it is they are
doing that is causing you to feel insecure, but to trust God to teach you what
to do to deal with it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
There is something I do in my
marriage that has helped me to handle to a great extent the issue of insecurity and that big thing is embedded in prayers. Consistently I pray
for my husband that God will make him faithful to me and that whatever
temptations he may face that will jeopardize the peace and unity of my marriage,
that the Lord will prevent him from falling into such a temptation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The issue is not that I trust or
do not trust my husband not to cheat on me, the issue is that I trust God to
hear and answer my prayers. I trust Him enough to know that He who is God is
faithful to keep that which I have entrusted in His care. So, because of my
confidence in God through Christ, I feel secure in my marriage. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
You may feel that this approach
is not concrete enough not to rely on, one truth that you will be confronted
with as you try other methods outside of God to keep infidelity away from your
marriage is that there is absolutely nothing you can do to make a cheating spouse stop cheating. Look as beautiful or handsome as you can, cook the best meals
and spend your life out, if a spouse will cheat, he/she will do so. But we know
that the hearts of kings and princes are in the hands of God and like the
watercourse, He directs them as He pleases. So only God can cause your spouse to
remain faithful to you. This is an assignment that only God is capable of handling
for you. Don't spend yourself out trying to do what only God can make happen for you. Direct your energy in trusting God to keep and maintain the peace and love of your marriage after you have done all that is within you to do and you have obeyed God's instructions for your marriage. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-32903901756010596802020-03-04T23:00:00.000-06:002020-03-04T23:00:00.931-06:00Being Yourself Might Just Not Be Good Enough<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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When I feel stressed and I want
to just take a break and rest, I run through my social media handles to see what’s
happening in the world around me. Because I am not so much of a social media
person, I do a lot of scan reading and only inspiration stuff catches my
attention. So, I search for those phrases, sentences, or captions that are
motivational in nature and those are the stuff I press the like buttons for the
most. One thing I have found to appear quite often in those motivational captions
is the phrase “Be Yourself.” While I agree with this to an extent, I believe it doesn’t
improve one in many ways. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, assuming being myself means
me being judgmental, nagging all the time, being consumed in your convictions and
not being opened to learning, always sourly, looking down on people and many
negative vibes like that, then being myself would just mean being toxic to the environment around you and the people around you. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, in marriage you need to know
when being yourself isn’t working for you and when it is time to improve yourself.
There are so many couples in marriage with an entitlement mentality who have
crafted in their heads what and what they should be getting from the spouses
based on faulty traditional norms and they are so consumed in those traditional
shortfall ideologies that they fail to see its killing effect on their
marriages. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The interesting thing is that they
want a beautiful marital life where everything is rosy and sweet and they get
all that they want without being ready to give anything just because the
tradition gives them the right to make demands where they have sown nothing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A wife
who has not been a significant part of her husband’s success story shouldn’t expect
that he will be willing to give her all she wants and need simply because she is
his wife. I have seen places in the Bible where God has asked the man to love
his wife as himself and as Christ loves the church, but I have not seen anywhere
in the Bible where it says the wife should depend on her husband for all that
she needs and wants. But when a wife has been a strong pillar of support for her
husband, encouraging him to be the best he can be and praying for him
continually, when success eventually comes, she will not need to make
demands before her needs and wants are taken care of by her husband. The
grateful part of him will make him go overboard in caring for her because she
has sown the right seeds in him that have produced a bountiful harvest for her. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the same manner, a man who has
not been loving and caring towards his wife should not expect that she will be
excited to make him the best meals, or do his dirty laundries, or run his many
errands for him just because the tradition demands that she cooks his food. It
really doesn’t work that way. If you want the best, then you must give your
best at all times. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, I will conclude today’s post
by saying, it’s good to be yourself when yourself is the best of you, producing positivity
within your environment and for people around you. But when being yourself requires
a lot of amendments, then you need to improve on you to get the best from people
around you. And this is so important for your marriage. The beautiful marriage
you long for can only happen from the beautiful input that you have invested in
it. <o:p></o:p><br />
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-3174615052757372252020-03-03T17:50:00.000-06:002020-03-03T17:52:54.326-06:00Consistency Plays A Role In It<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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One of the important lessons I have learned in the past few months is the lesson on consistency. I have learned a little about it in time past, but not as much as I have learned in the recent past. I realized that to succeed in business you have to be intentional and consistent about your goal in order to get there. In order to lose weight and shed the tummy fat, you need to be consistent in the effort to achieve as little as just a visible difference from where you are coming from and where you are going. I have heard so much about not giving up, but putting it into practice has been the big learning for me than just hearing it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And sincerely this same pattern applies to your marriage. The main rules of a successful marriage based on the truth of the Bible remains that the husband should love his wife as Christ loves the church and the wife should submit to her husband just as she would submit to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-31, 1 Peter 3:1-7, Colossians 3:18-19).<o:p></o:p></div>
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The above instruction doesn’t just keep your marriage at peace and secure joy for you within it, it also helps to mend your messy marriage. There is no messy marriage that this instruction direct from the throne of God does not heal and restore. And like I always say in my previous blog messages, don’t wait for your spouse to do the right thing for you to do what is right. Never base your actions on the negativity of your spouse, you might be the right thing that God will use to right all the wrongs in his/her life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, doing the right thing once or twice will not give you the yields of a peaceful and loving marriage that you dream about. But doing the light things consistently at all times indefinitely will eventually produce for you the lasting beauty of a loving and peaceful marriage that you would have worked for.<o:p></o:p></div>
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From my own experience, I realized that putting up an advert once or just twice about your business will not give you the dream sales that you anticipated. And in the same way, doing a diet of just one day or two days or three days will not give you the beautiful body shape that you want. It will take consistent effort over a long period of time against many odds to achieve your set goal.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So, this is where we will begin again from. I know your spouse can be a pain in the neck. You two probably never reason alike and are never on the same page on almost all issues that you have to deliberate or agree on. You are not alone in that situation, a lot of couples have the same struggle as you do. But at some point, you will need to drop your convictions in order to embrace your peace. You will put your emotions on hold in order to obey the instructions of God for your marriage. You will need to be wrong and let God be right concerning how you will carry on in pursuit of your marital success. When you practice this long enough it’s then no longer a difficult thing to do, it becomes a lifestyle. Positive lifestyle yields positive outcomes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When you see beautiful marriages out there, it's because they have put in much effort to make it so, and it’s not about a one-time effort, it's always a lifetime effort.<o:p></o:p><br />
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-26519227468247103712020-01-07T16:53:00.001-06:002020-01-07T16:53:40.478-06:00A Choosing of a Life Partner<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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With a grateful heart to the living God, I welcome us all to the new year. I do not take for granted the grace to be alive and be able to share interesting and impactful stuff with you on this blog. I wish you all a happy and prosperous new year. I pray that we will all experience the goodness and grace of God like we have never done before in our lives. In Jesus name our best years lie ahead of us. </div>
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I welcome us all from the holidays as we launch back into God's grace for our marriages. We finished our study on the marital life of Abraham and Sarah last year and we are beginning the new year looking at the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah. The story of how Abraham got a bride for Isaac is found in Genesis 24 and I believe that is a very good place to start our study from. </div>
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The first thing I want us to look at is found in Genesis 24:7, Abraham had walked well with God enough to trust Him to pick a fitting and suitable wife for his son. He had no criteria, he had no preferences, and no adjective or clause of his personal opinion did he state as he sent his chief servant to go in search of a wife for his son other than what God chose and had in mind for him. </div>
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<i>Genesis 24:7 </i></div>
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<i>The Lord God of heaven, who took me from my father's house and from the land of my family, and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, "To your descendants I give this land,' He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there."</i></div>
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Abraham's singular concern was that he wanted a wife for his son from among his own people, he understood God enough not to want Isaac to be equally yoked with people who didn't know God. Other than this, he let God decide for his son. He left that task that belonged to God for God to handle by Himself. </div>
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Many parents have landed their children in messy and challenging marriages simply because they tried to do in the lives of their children what God alone should be doing. The assignment of selecting a life partner for our children belongs to God alone. We read in Genesis 2:18-30 how God came about the idea of a suitable helper for Adam. It wasn't Adam's choice to have a wife, it was God's idea. And upon God realizing that Adam needed a suitable helper, He formed Eve from the rib He had taken from Adam and brought her to him to be his wife. </div>
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By the time we walk through the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah, we will notice the loads of benefits that Isaac enjoyed simply by the wonderful choice of a wife that God made for him. The first thing we will find out is that Rebekah was a very beautiful woman. She was a supportive wife and she was a wife that Isaac loved dearly. It was easy for Abraham to rest in death with full assurance that all was well with Isaac his son. God can never give you anything less than the best when you trust Him totally with this vital choice of a spouse either for yourself or for your children and wards. No criteria or preference you have can be better than God's choice for you and/or your children. </div>
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It is time that we understand that whether as a parent to a child of marriageable age or you are one that feels convinced that you are ready for a life partner, that the first thing is to go to God in prayer having faith, confidence, and conviction that God alone that find for you a fitting and suitable spouse. Let Him take the responsibility of choosing for you. He will do an excellent job of that responsibility. He will provide for you a spouse that will give you peace. And when the storms and challenges of life raise its head, God will be there to protect you and fight for you. </div>
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It's interesting to note that even after Adam and Eve sinned and God made pronouncements on them, He still took the time to make tunics of skin and clothed them (Genesis 3:21). He never stopped showing them love and protection. He will do the same always for your marriage. </div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-57929584143648296432019-12-12T05:35:00.003-06:002019-12-12T05:35:34.967-06:00In Conclusion<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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In the midst of too many things
to do, I have been struggling with keeping pace with the marriage blog. But
just two days ago I discovered tons of comments on the blog that was awaiting
moderation. And to the glory of God and to my heart’s delight I read so many of
them and praise God that people are been blessed by the content of this blog. I
will try to add the checking comments for moderation as part of my routine, may God
help me to be consistent in it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the past couple of posts, we
have been looking at the marriage of Abraham and Sarah and personally, I have
learned a lot from Abraham’s wife Sarah. And so, we will move to the next
couple of interest which is Isaac and Rebekah, but before we do that, we will
try to summarize all that we have learned from the marriage of Abraham and Sarah.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The first thing to understand
about that couple is that Sarah single-handedly built her marriage without the
support of her husband. Marriage is not a 50-50 contribution quota. It is a
100-100 contribution quota; by simple arithmetic, when you add 50 to 50, you
arrive and a 100, but when you add a 100 to another 100 you arrive at 200 which
is twice as much as what you get when you only give half of you into the
process. Irrespective of Abraham’s shortfall, Sarah didn’t allow that prevent
her from giving her all into her marriage and as such God will not allow her to go
into her grave without reaping of the harvest of all that she had sown into the
marriage. Because God is faithful, if you are not yet reaping the desired
harvest from your marriage whether you are the husband or wife, its important
that you check the quality of your seed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Another lesson that I learned
from that marriage is that Abraham being a friend of God didn’t translate to
Abraham being a good husband. His desire for an heir totally blinded him from
his responsibilities as a good husband. And so that man being a pastor and
being passionate about the things of God does not automatically make him a good
husband. As a wife to a pastor or non-pastor, you need to always be in the place
of prayer for the leading of God on how to manage your marriage well. Relying
alone on the fact that your husband is a man of God who truly fears God and as
such would be an excellent husband is dancing on self-deceit. Always trust God
to perfect all that concerns your marriage. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Another lesson that I took away
from this is the fact that just because your spouse is failing in his/her
responsibility to you as a wife or a husband doesn’t mean you should fail in
your responsibilities as a wife or a husband also. Two wrongs never make a right. We will all
give an account to God and you can’t tell God that because your husband or wife
failed then you failed also. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I very understand the fact that
its really a good feeling when you show love and respect to your spouse and
you get love and respect back in return. Its not just a really good feeling,
but it’s a booster to your will to commit yourself more into the marriage. It encourages
one to give more as you know that you are a priority to your spouse. But the
work of building a successful marriage is not hinged on emotions alone. The
bedrock of a successful marriage lies in divine wisdom, the wisdom that comes
from God alone. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When you give so much in your
marriage and it seems there is nothing to show for it, that is not the time to
stop giving your best, understand that seeds take time to grow. And the seed
that is not well nurtured will die a seed and never germinate. So, you keep
sowing and keep praying. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sarah laughed last, and that
husband Abraham must have loved and respected his wife dearly after God
finished vindicating her. The Bible said he wept and mourned Sarah for days
after her death and then bought a special burial place for her. The seed of
Sarah, Isaac, was the only child God reckoned as Abraham’s son.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sometimes it can be tough to be
caught in the position in which Sarah was and still maintain one's cool and
trust in God,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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having faith in the marriage. But there is always grace available
in God if we try and not give up. The God who stood by Sarah is ready, willing,
and available to stand by you and with you as you sow your seeds in your
marriage.<br />
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-67763023678121645332019-12-04T05:42:00.002-06:002019-12-04T05:43:24.304-06:00The Seeds of Sarah<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This is my first post for the
month and before we discuss the marriage issue, I will want to appreciate my
God, the giver of life and the giver of His word for the abundant grace we have
to see the last month of the year 2019. God has really been good to us despite
all the challenges of the year. Through the times are tough, but we are
tougher. We give all our praises to God. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, we continue in our discussion
on the marriage of Abraham and Sarah. It is interesting that when Sarah asked
Abraham to take her maidservant as wife and have a child by her, he agreed
without hesitation, but what got my attention again in this story is that when Sarah
told Abraham to send the bondwoman and her child away, he became reluctant. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But before we discuss that, we
will notice something interesting about the husband Abraham in Genesis 17. It
was in Genesis 16 that Hagar and Ishmael came into the picture of things, and
the first thing God was going to say to Abraham in Genesis 17:1 was, “I am God
Almighty; walk before Me and be blameless.” Between the time of God's visitation in
Genesis 17 and the birth of Ishmael in Genesis 16 was about 13years. If God
ever spoke to Abraham in the 13years that he fathered Ishmael, we don’t know
but there was no record of such speaking until Genesis 17. <o:p></o:p></div>
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From my observation, the purpose of God’s visitation
in Genesis 17 was to reinstate His covenant of making Abraham a father of many
nations and at this time God demanded circumcision from Abraham and his entire
household as a constant reminder of that covenant. He also changed Abraham's name
from Abram to Abraham, all in the bid to instilled in Abraham's consciousness the
covenant between them. It appears to me that Abraham probably didn’t understand
God’s mission and so he kept whining about wanting a son till he got himself
into sin. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But the interesting part of all
the communication between Abraham and God is the position of God with regards
to Sarah. Yes, there was a covenant that Abraham needed to be constantly
reminded of, and a covenant can only be fulfilled through a covenant partner. As
far as God was concerned the promised child can only come from Sarah the covenant
wife. In God's faithfulness, Sarah could not have made all those
sacrifices for nothing. What profit could her obedience to God and her husband
yield to her if she went into her grave childless? God would never allow His
children to trust Him in vain and He brings the harvest when it is sweetest the
most. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In Genesis 17:15-19 we read about
the discussion between God and Abraham on the issue of the covenant child, and
in Genesis 17:17 Abraham fell facedown and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a
man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” and
then he went on to beg God to pour the blessings on Ishmael instead saying, “If
only Ishmael might live under your blessing!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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That for me was a selfish way to
think by Abraham. He had fathered a child and that was just okay, but as Sarah
mothered a child? Did that bother Abraham at all? Did he care if Sarah went to
her grave barren? If he believed God when God promised him a child in Genesis
15 and it was credited to him as righteousness, then why could he not believe
God on behalf of Sarah in Genesis 17. Was it all over and okay now that Ishmael
has been born? These are my reasons for respecting Abraham so much as a friend
of God and as a man of faith but not as a husband. <o:p></o:p></div>
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After all of this analysis, what
is the lesson to hold onto in this part of the story of Abraham and Sarah’s
marriage? Again, I will focus on the wives. To be a wife like Sarah takes a lot
of effort but to reap the same reward as Sarah did is a very sweet experience. Against
all the odds that we see coming from Abraham who happens to be her husband who should love and protect her and also is a friend of God
without changing status, yet Sarah stayed by his side as his wife, obeying God
and obeying her husband and when the time came for God to bless her came, He found
her at the right place. She was still situated within the covenant of God in
Abraham’s life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So many times, as wives we seek
the validation of our husbands, and in truth, we are not wrong, doing so. But when
we don’t get the validation we need what do we do? When their love is not
coming forth or their cooperation is lacking, do we just pick our bags and
move. There is are blessings that your sacrifices have accrued to you but those
blessings need to meet us at the right place. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The situation in your marriage
will not always be pleasant but the sacrifices of obedience, submission, patience, positivity, perseverance and
long-suffering that you have sown into it, will yield a bountiful harvest of joy and laughter, peace and
love for you as long as you always keep God as your focus. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVEIzp0lCA0JtDSwGtPY3MKu-Bcvdo__uubeBzTdw2lRb3ab_NZnUe3Sunt4rce_BbINcUd0vIL1TpFLLfktBsZaIXBsXgQZDtzQBAx0d-z-cUO9OEzaEodfzEDByCOADBD_t1bDYyvbM/s1600/Blog+Template+2ab.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1600" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVEIzp0lCA0JtDSwGtPY3MKu-Bcvdo__uubeBzTdw2lRb3ab_NZnUe3Sunt4rce_BbINcUd0vIL1TpFLLfktBsZaIXBsXgQZDtzQBAx0d-z-cUO9OEzaEodfzEDByCOADBD_t1bDYyvbM/s320/Blog+Template+2ab.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-31553742490495249982019-11-29T11:20:00.003-06:002019-11-29T11:20:54.051-06:00The Sacrifice May be Big, But the Harvest is for Sure Bigger<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">A lot
of times when I consider the man Abraham, I marvel at the strong bond between
him and God. This was a man that God would say of in Genesis 18:17 that “shall
I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?” But in all of Abraham’s believe and
walk with God, his life as a married man leaves a lot to be desired of. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">In Genesis
15:2-6, Abraham petitioned God for a son, he didn’t want a servant in his
household becoming his heir and to that end, he did nothing wrong. Immediately he
made that request, God promised Abraham a son and even sons as many as the sands of the
seashore and as the stars in the sky and we are told that Abraham believed and
it was credited to him as righteousness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">But in the
next chapter (Genesis 16), we read that Abraham’s wife had borne him no
children, but she had an Egyptian maidservant. She told Abraham to take the
maidservant Hagar and sleep with her and have children with her and Abraham
agreed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">Now
reading this on the surface, everyone will blame Sarah for taking such a call.
And bad as it may look, I would rather blame Abraham for agreeing to such a
call. Remember he is the husband, the head of the home and the leader of the
family, he bears the responsibility of that decision far more than Sarah his
wife. He had spoken with God received God's promise on his request, so what went wrong?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">The second
puzzle that came to my mind on this matter is that; what would make Sarah consider
giving her maidservant to her husband to be his wife? I am trying to put myself
into Sarah’s shoes and imagine what will make me marry another woman for my
husband because I can bear him no child. It's not just about Abraham not having
children, it’s about Sarah also not having children. And this gives me so much
respect for the person of Sarah at how much she was willing to sacrifice for
the happiness of her husband even when it hurts her deep inside. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
No woman in her right mind would
be willing to make such an offer except for the level of the sacrificial heart such
as Sarah had. We remember that in Genesis 12:10-20, she made one of such big
sacrifices for the peace of her marriage based on her trust in God. Again, here
we see Sarah making another of such sacrifices. As far as she was concerned her
husband’s happiness was of big importance to her. But did Abraham feel the same
way towards his wife? Was he willing to sacrifice as much for the happiness of
Sarah his wife? That much we might never know as it was not stated in the
scriptures, but all that we know is that Abraham agreed to Sarah’s offer and took Hagar the maidservant as wife, slept with her and she conceived for him. But
if you ask me, I will say that Abraham was been insensitive to the feelings of
his wife by agreeing to her offer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The beautiful aspect of this
story is that even though Abraham did to see and appreciate the sacrifices of
Sarah, God did and that is why there remained a promise-child that could only
come from the womb of Sarah. That child Isaac was the only child God reckoned
as Abraham’s child and all of God’s promises and the covenants God made with
Abraham was made manifest through that one child Isaac. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So, as wives, we take our learnings
again from the life of Sarah. What sacrifices do you need to make for the peace
and progress of your marriage that you are not making yet? Are you holding your
husband’s attitude and negativity as a reason for your own failures as a wife?
If Sarah didn’t do that, then you shouldn’t. I know and acknowledge that it can be tough
been a sacrificial wife to a none appreciative husband but your validation does
not reside in your husband, it rests in God. What your husband fails to see,
God sees them all and the harvest of the sacrifices you sow in your marriage is
far bigger when it is God watching over your seed to bring about a harvest than
the acknowledgment of your husband. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
As a wife, if you have not
started sowing those sacrificial seeds in your marriage, then start now because
it is only those who sow that expects a harvest. And if you have been sowing
please don’t stop and seeds need time to grow. But your harvest is sure and far bigger than the weight of the sacrifices you have made and are making. Just keep trusting God and keep on sowing those seeds. I have been there before and so
I know. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-57965685969922667152019-11-26T02:06:00.002-06:002019-11-26T02:06:39.544-06:00When Obedience Doesn't Make Sense<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">And so,
we move on in our study of marriages in the Bible and in particular the study
of Abraham's marriage. </span>There are so many lessons to learn from the
marriage of Abraham and Sarah. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">Genesis
12:10-20 tells us about how Abraham continued with his journey of the call of
God in his life. It was in Genesis 12:1-3 that God called Abraham to embark on
a journey leaving his father’s household behind, but still within that same
chapter, we read something interesting that Abraham did.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">In
Genesis 12:10-20 we read that there was famine in the land and Abraham went
down to Egypt, but just before entering into Egypt, he called his wife and told
her not to say she was not his wife but his sister. The first thing that got me
wondering is that if Abraham whom we read of in later books of the Bible that he
was a friend of God and he believed in God and it was created to him as
righteousness could not trust God to protect him from the hands of the Egyptians without
putting his wife in harms way then there is a need for men to be very careful. Even those who are considered men of God. I
respect Abraham so well as a man of faith, but as a husband, I believe he didn’t do so
well. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">But that
said, the lesson in this passage is for the wives reading this blog. I am
trying to imagine what was going through the mind of Sarah when her husband
made that proposal to her. Was she so in love with Abraham to have obeyed him
so blindly or was she more of a woman of faith than her husband to obey her
husband as the Lord had asked her to do even in the face of danger? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">Going
by the report of her in 1 Peter 3:5-6 and the way God defended her all through
her years of marriage, I want to believe that she was more of a woman of faith in
God than a woman in love. I do not believe that Sarah agreed to lie about her
status as Abraham’s wife just to show her love to her husband, it would have been a
situation of trusting God to protect her as she obeys her husband as He (God) had asked
her to do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">Ephesians
5:22-24, Colossians 3:18, and 1 Peter 3:1-6 all says the same thing; “wives
submit to your husbands as unto the Lord,” and what we see Sarah display in
Genesis 12:10-20 is the height of what God is calling the wives into in their marriages, and God will surely defend our obedience to His word for our lives. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">When I
first had the divine revelation of Sarah’s obedience in marriage, it felt like
an impossible thing to do for us in our generation today. It’s almost just
impossible for a woman to put herself in harm’s way like Sarah did just in the
bid to submit to her husband in fulfillment of God’s instruction. To us it
cannot be God telling us to obey His words to that extent; God can’t be so
cruel. More so, when adultery is a sin, and then we run through the many what-ifs
in our minds and tell ourselves God will understand if we disobey just this one
time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;">But for
Sarah, she never doubted God. For her, there were no what-ifs, her husband said
it and she did it anyway. And God in His usual faithful manner came through for
her just at the right time when she needed Him to. I have also trusted God for
this kind of submission in my marriage. My husband has never asked me to deny
my identity as his wife but I have learned to obey him on so many occasions where
we have extremely different and conflicting views about situations and
instructions he has given. I have learned to obey him even when it wasn’t in
any way or form convenient for me to obey. And not once have I had to regret
such acts of obedience since I have allowed God to take the wheel of my marriage. And
above all, I have earned my husband’s respect and trust simply because I obey
God in obeying him. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-84032462112451968822019-11-23T03:45:00.002-06:002019-11-23T03:45:27.026-06:00First Lesson from Abraham's Marriage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I guess the next marriage to learn
from would be the marriage of Abraham. Though Noah’s life came before that of
Abraham, little was said about his marriage. So, we can as well just move on to
Abraham. The first thing that came to my mind in the marriage story of Abraham is
found in Genesis 12:4-5. When God called Abraham and he obeyed, he didn’t set out
alone, he set out in the company of his wife Sarah. I understand that he also
took Lot his nephew with him but we will notice that by the time we get to
chapter 13 of Genesis, he had to drop Lot off. But the journey of his life, his
obedience to the calling of God over his life was done with Sarah his wife
right by his side. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Bearing in mind that Abraham and
Sarah were no longer two but one, we will appreciate why Sarah could not be
dropped off. In the same manner, the Abrahams of today, husbands of today need to
understand fully that there is no calling on their lives, there should be no
pursuit in their lives that warrants the husband leaving his wife behind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In thoughts, actions, plans, and
purpose of a man, he needs to carry his wife along with him as he journeys on, in
order to attain good success in his life’s journey. Ecclesiastes 4:9 says “Two
are better than one, because they have a good return for their work,” this is
just as simple as it is, planning for two and planning with the other in mind
and engaging the other in mind as thought is more rewarding than planning
alone. Even Jesus says in Matthew 18:19 that if two agree as concerning
anything they ask for; it will be done for them by our Father in heaven. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The fact that Abraham journeyed
on in obedience to the call of God for his life and carried his wife along is
one big lesson I want to start the gleanings from Abraham’s marriage with.
Marriage is not a competition between two intelligent individuals. It is not a
superiority contest between a man and his wife. But rather it is a man on a journey
to a Promised Land in the company of his suitable helper, his destiny helper,
the embodiment of God’s favor for his life whom he is assigned to love with his
life, cherish, hold in high esteem and respect well so that nothing will hinder
his prayers. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-6913459587733300752019-11-22T00:03:00.001-06:002019-11-22T00:03:24.526-06:00When the Sons of God Marry the Daughter of Men<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So, we continue in our gleanings
of the word of God for marriages in the Bible that we can learn from. Between
the time of Adam to Noah and then to Abraham nothing much was said about
marriage other than the fact that the men were having children and
we know that these children were conceived by their wives. But nothing definite
was said concerning marriage. But just as I am about to jump to the marriage of
Abraham, my attention is drawn to Genesis chapter 6. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Genesis 6:1-3<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When men began to increase in
number on the earth and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that
the daughters of men were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose.
Then the Lord said, “My Spirit will not contend with man forever, for he is
mortal; his days will be a hundred and twenty years.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
You might wonder why the
sons of God marrying the daughters of men became something of an issue to God
for Him to declare that His Spirit will not contend with man forever. Before
this chapter, we will notice that men were leaving for up to 900 years and
more. As a matter of fact, if not for the fall of man at the garden of Eden
probably man would never have had any business with death. God did not forbid
Adam from eating from the tree of life, so to say, that God’s plan was actually
for man to live forever. But now, man not was just having death to deal with, man’s
life span was being cut short and you wonder why? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When I began to seek the face of
God for a clearer understanding of this matter, the Lord dropped in my spirit
that the sons of God should be seeking God for a wife and not choosing wives for
themselves. Beyond the beauty of the daughters of men lies hidden virtues and
vices that only God knows about. It is only God who owns the ability to choose
the appropriate and fitting wife of the daughters of men for the sons of God. This
act of inappropriate independence by the sons of God was enough to cause God to
make the declaration that His Spirit will not contend with man forever. If man
had begun to exhibit independence from God and choose wives for themselves then
they are indirectly telling God they don’t need Him any longer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The interesting thing is that we
still have many sons of God in our generation who still see the daughters of
men that they are beautiful and they marry any of them they choose to without
first seeking the face of God. As we proceed in our study on marriages in the
Bible, we will come across the making of a life partner. And I am sure it was
discussed earlier in the study of the marriage of Adam and Eve. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When God was to make Eve, He made
her to the specification fitting for Adam. He made Eve as a helper suitable (fitting,
ideal, comparable) to Adam. So, she was not just any woman, she was made specifically for
Adam. In the same way, God has painstakingly made a wife suitable to, fitting to,
ideal for every son of God He created. Without God, the sons of God cannot
identify the daughters of men that God has created for them as wives. So, in the cause of marrying as they chose, they were mismatching each other. So to say, that
they were marrying wrongly and that alone was enough to make God declare that
His Spirit cannot contend with man any longer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I have spoken to men who after
marriage have concluded that they married the wrong woman. Some men have even
gone the path of getting a divorce. But I dare to say that two wrongs never
make a right. If you didn’t seek the face of God before marrying your wife and
things aren’t going right, divorce is not the way out. There is no point when
you invite God into your marriage that He doesn’t step into it, to right all the
wrongs in it. He made that woman you call wife, and He can remake her into the woman
fitting for you when you let Him and yield to His intervention. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Marrying wrong is not a death
sentence, and seeking a divorce is also not the remedy. At whatever point you
call God into the situation and let Him turn around the situation for good, yielding to His leading and following every instruction He gives to you, then you are on
the road path to a beautiful marital experience. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-44151175856771443992019-11-20T23:09:00.001-06:002019-11-20T23:09:31.195-06:00The Husband is Accountable to God<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I am really so very sorry for the
inconsistency of sharing with you on the marriage blog throughout this year. It’s
a big shame on me considering the fact that I know quite a lot of people take
the time to read what I write. I could have given the reason of work for this but in truth, that isn’t good enough so I would simply just apologize.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
We had started a series of
learning from the marriages in the Bible and we will just continue from there. What I shared last was about Eve staying within the confines of the leadership of
her husband as the head of the home. The importance of submission in marriage
cannot be overemphasized but the wife alone does not make a marriage, so we
need to have a look at the second component of marriage which is the husband and the head
of the marriage. We will be looking at the husband from the viewpoint of Adam.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Genesis 3:6<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>When the woman saw that the fruit
of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for
gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was
with her. </i><o:p></o:p></div>
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Before going on with our study, I
needed to, first of all, check another translation of this passage to have a
clear understanding of what it says. Remember that Adam is the husband, he is
the leader of the union, and then he was the one to whom God gave the
instruction not to eat of the fruit of the tree of good and evil. And then he was with Eve
when she ate of the fruit of which God said they should not eat because the
Bible says “she gave some to her husband who was also with her.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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When the serpent was speaking to Eve
and he was with her why didn't he stand to her defense? Why didn't he rebuke that
serpent and take the lead that he was assigned to take? Why didn’t he stop Eve
from eating the fruit of the tree of which God said they should not eat most especially when
he was the direct recipient of the instruction? These questions are what is
coming up in my mind when it comes to the role of Adam in that marriage. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These for me are the failures of Adam. No
matter how we try to blame Eve for her errors, I think Adam share a larger
portion of the blame. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Genesis 3:9<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>But the Lord God called to the
man, “Where are you?” </i><o:p></o:p></div>
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Let’s now see this from the eyes
of God. When the Lord was going to seek an account for the wrong that has been
done, He didn’t ask Eve, He called out to the man. This is simply because the
responsibility of the union rests on the head of the man who is the head of the
marriage union and home. He is the one answerable to God over the affairs of the home. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In today’s world there are
still so many Adam husbands around. It is so important that the husband and
wife work together in agreement but the responsibility of the marriage union
rests on the husband. If a marriage fails the world might seek accountability from the
wife, but God will seek accountability from the husband. And that is why we read in
Malachi 2:16-19 that God warns the husband to be careful and not break faith
with the wife of his youth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The husband is assigned by God to
lead his wife, protect his wife, care for her and love her as Christ loves the Church
and died for her and he is answerable to God over her life. This is deeper than
just as simple as it appears on this blog and I pray the Lord will enlighten
the hearts of the husbands and give them a divine revelation of the matter. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-46528205139211008762019-10-31T11:15:00.000-06:002019-11-20T22:12:39.678-06:00Eve Should Have Stayed in Lane<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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By common knowledge, the first thing that comes to mind when we speak of helpers is that they support, they mostly are the backend support that makes things happen. When you speak of a helper you don't first think of such as a leader. But moving from common knowledge, by virtue of God's arrangement in marriage, the husband leads and the wives follow. But she just doesn't follow blindly, she supports and helps. </div>
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Going back to common knowledge, a leader gives instructions and the followers obey the same. Based on God's principles in marriage, the husband leads, and the wives submit. The dictionary meaning of the word submission means to willingly yield yourself to the authority of another. So as a wife what God expects of you as found in Ephesians 5:22-24 is that you willing yield yourself to the authority of your husband just as in the manner in which you willingly yield yourself to the authority of God. A deviation from this pattern is a road path to chaos in marriage. </div>
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That was what happened when Eve decided to leave the path of following the lead of her husband. But before you go negative on me, just follow me closely. I very well understand that the husband makes mistakes and some husbands seem unworthy to be followed. I am a wife and I am no angel so I feel like every other wife feels and I have experiences too that are not perfect or near perfect. And many years ago I thought just like you might now that my husband was unworthy to be followed. And I began to pray. I knew God's word wouldn't change and if I want peace in my marriage I must obey that word of God that says I must submit to my husband as unto the Lord. So I prayed that God will fill my husband up with Himself such that the words of my husband will come in the form of instructions and will be God's words and instructions for me. And with confidence that what I have prayed for God will answer, I learned to submit to my husband even in the silliest things and it has really paid off because it has fetched me peace of mind in my marriage and helped me build the bond of unity in my marriage. </div>
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I will share a story of my personal experience on the issue of submission. About 20months ago I began a business and my husband got me a shop to sell lace fabrics. He renovated the shop and did it so tastefully. I had assumed that with much beauty built into the shop he will give me a good sum of money to stock up the shop. But to my disappointment, he gave me so little that it was about a fraction of what he used in renovating the shop that he gave me to buy goods in the shop to sell. In fact what I got from him then couldn't even fill a shelf. I was pained but I remembered that notwithstanding I was still supposed to submit to him as my husband. And submit I did. </div>
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But rather than getting hurt, I began to think and pray on how to kick start the business and grow it with the very little I had. To the glory of God, ideas started pouring into my head and I began to implement them. Then I learned to use social media to boost my sales and the sales I made using social media far outweighed what I ever thought of selling in the shop. </div>
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Now the lesson there for me was that if indeed I had gotten the big money I wanted from my husband and stocked the shop with so many goods, the poor sales would have frustrated my business and I would have been perceived as a failure. But because he didn't give me what I wanted and I submitted to him irrespective, I was able to challenge myself, think outside the box and pray and launched my business beyond what I would have been able to do given that I had all the money I wanted. God used my husband to teach me and I am happy I didn't resist the lesson. </div>
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If Eve had just stayed within the limits of following her husband, the serpent would not have had a hold on her. When you feel your husband isn't making sense then turn to God in prayer but never leave the covering of God's commandment for your life, never move off the position of submission to your husband as the Lord has ordained and ordered you to as a wife. Prayer without deed is dead and so prayer without submission is dead and also submission without prayer is powerless.<br />
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-8294293926358615242019-09-26T03:30:00.001-06:002019-09-26T03:30:10.066-06:00There was None Found Comparable to Him<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So will continue our marriage discussion by continuing our focus on the marriage of Adam and Eve. In the last post, we looked at one of the purposes of God for marriage judging from the first marriage, the marriage of Adam and Eve. We were able to conclude that based on God's design marriage was designed to help the couples in it to develop and grow from the position they were before marriage. </div>
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There are many other lessons I have learned from the marriage of Adam and Eve and I will like to share them with you. So in the next couple of posts, we will be dealing with that marriage and learning from it.</div>
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The first interesting thing about the marriage of Adam and Eve is found in the latter part of Genesis 2:20 which says "But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him" (NKJV). The NIV version says "But for Adam no suitable helper was found." What I understand from this single sentence is that no matter how you view your marriage at this moment, for God to sit on His throne and watch your marriage ceremony take place without any disruption, then He knows for sure that you as a wife are the suitable helper that God has found or should I say made that is comparable and suitable for that man. Of all the living things God has made you are the one found comparable to that man who is your husband. </div>
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Now, that does not translate to the fact that your husband is perfect and without fault, it doesn't mean that he is so sweet and husbandly and a dream come true husband, it only means that you are the one God has made to complete him. You are the one found suitable or should I say comparable to him to complete him and perfect him. God made you and place you in his life despite all the shortfalls in the life of your husband because He (God) knows you have what it takes to help him develop from who he was before God brought you into his life</div>
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What this tells me about you as a wife is that you are more than what you think you are. God thinks more highly of you than you think of yourself. God knows that you are more capable than you think you are. Your strength in God is beyond what you know. </div>
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If you are in a challenging marriage situation, never think of yourself as the victim, because for God to watch you in that situation, it is because He knows that if you harness the potentials in you with His (God) support, strength and power in you, you are capable of turning the situation around for good and become victorious over that marriage challenge, being a change agent in the hands of God in bringing a glorious renewal in the life of your husband. Of all that God created that is living and moving around, there was none found comparable to him except YOU. Think about it. </div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-3167051794576568792019-09-24T07:21:00.002-06:002019-09-24T07:21:47.524-06:00What is Your Marriage Producing?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It's been two months since I last shared a post on the marriage blog and I sincerely feel ashamed of that. But I can either stop making an impact in the lives of people or cover my face and yet start all over again. If any explanation is required for my absence, I will stay I took time off in pursuit of an income-generating venture. But while at it, I shouldn't abandon God impacting venture too. In all, I apologize for my long absence. </div>
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Before I took off we had done a lot of learning from the book of Esther and just like you, I learned a lot. So we will continue into the year learning things from the marriages of the Bible. We will glean from the marriage of Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Issac and Rebecca, Jacob and his wives (Leah and Racheal), Lot and his wife, David and his wives, Job and his wife and many other marriages we can glean from and try to relate what we learn from them in to our everyday life. </div>
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So we start from the very beginning, the very first marriage which is the marriage of Adam and Eve. It is common knowledge what the marriage of Adam and Eve was like but the one thing we need to look at and learn from is what the marriage of Adam and Eve should have been as intended by God. </div>
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From what we can see in Genesis 2:18, one of the reasons God created the wife for the husband was for support, as a suitable helper. So we can rightly conclude that the marriage of Adam and Eve was designed for developmental purpose as the wife was placed in the life of her husband to help him succeed in what he has been assigned to do. Noting that this is the first marriage with marriages following after that, we can that say that wives are placed in the life of the husband as a support and a helper and so marriage is designed by God for developmental purpose. </div>
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My question following this conclusion is: Is your marriage fulfilling the developmental purpose for wish God designed it? We learn from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 that two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor, and then we read from Genesis 2:24 that "for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and will cleave to his wife and the two shall become one." If two are better than one, then we understand better God's reason for saying that it is not good for the man to be alone. And two who labor together will have a better reward for their labor than when one labors alone then we know for sure that the design of God in bringing a man and woman together in marriage is for developmental purpose. So the man and his wife coming together as one laboring together with the wife as a suitable helper and the husband mandated to love and care for his wife as himself then growth and development are bound to take place in their lives as a single unit and in their individual lives. </div>
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So the question again is this: In your marriage, is growth and development taking place like it should? Is your marriage producing fruits of development in your life and that of your spouse like it should? If yes, I congratulate you and bless God for your life. If otherwise, then it is important that you begin to search out the reason for the shortfall and start to deal with it. </div>
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For your marriage to bring about the development and growth we are learning about, there must be a true cleaving between the husband and the wife in soul and spirit such that it can truly be said that they are no longer two but one. Been married to the world yet separated in mind and spirit does not bring about the development that God designed for marriage. Seeing your spouse as a separate entity from yourself and treating him/her as such does not produce the kind of reward of labor that we read of in the passages we have highlighted in today's post. </div>
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Your battles in marriage are not battles you should target against your spouse, but that you working with your spouse on a common goal in fighting the external enemy. When you see your spouse as your enemy, then you are no longer one but two separate entities and your achievements in that marriage will be limited. On the long run, you short-change yourself ignorantly. For you to enjoy the dividends of marriage, you must make a deliberate effort at keeping and maintaining the unity of your marriage. God's word never lie, your marriage is designed to make you better than you were before it began</div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246732836884762124.post-36142169963463807602019-07-25T08:53:00.002-06:002019-07-25T08:53:33.279-06:00It's Brilliant How Esther Did It<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Another
thing that caught my attention in the book of Esther was the wisdom in which
Esther handled her issues. I can tell you for free that no matter how beautiful
you can be, it is not enough to hold a marriage. But God’s wisdom embedded in
good character and prayers will take anyone to the greatest height attainable in
marriage. Proverbs 24:3 says, “Through wisdom, a house is built, and by
understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with
precious and pleasant riches.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">The book
of Esther chapter 3 was where Haman began to plot the destruction of the
children of Israel and when this got to Esther, the first thing she did was to
highlight her restriction, but that was not good enough for her Uncle Mordecai.
But what really gave me so much respect for Esther was how she handled the
matter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
some, she should have just walked up to the king, demand her right as the queen
and insist that her people be spared, and Haman be destroyed. After all, she was
the queen. But Esther took a different route, a more subtle yet technical
route. A route that was devised in wisdom and covered with prayers, that she
knew could never fail. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">So,
the first thing Esther did was to pray. You might wonder why a wife would need
to pray before approaching her husband for a request that she was entitled to.
Well, I learned to use the prayer approach too in my marriage and it works well for me. Building a marriage on an entitlement mentality is not too good. Always have it at the back of your mind that your spouse owes you nothing except what God has laid in his/her heart to deliver to you. With that, you seldom get disappointed and learn to trust God more irrespective of your spouse. </span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
after her prayer and fasting which she did along with the whole of the Jewish
race on the land, she decided to take the bull by the horn and approach her
husband whether tradition allowed it or not. Although the tradition of the land
at that time did not permit Esther to approach the king when she was not called
on but through prayers she had prepared her path, she knew that she
had secured the intervention of God in the matter. And to the glory of God, she
got what she wanted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">So many
times, there are pressing issues that I want to discuss with my husband and
with the emotional weight that I carry in me, I was sure the discussion would
most likely lead to a fight. And all the time that I have prayed before speaking
up it always ended in praise. You might wonder if I can’t approach my husband
on issues without first praying about it, at least he is my husband and not my
God. Well like Esther I love to choose the prayer route first so that I get to
laugh after all said and done. Sometimes when I pray, I might not even need to
discuss with him anymore on the issue no matter how pissed off I may be because
the Lord will speak to him on my behalf and the matter is resolved without me
venting my anger or airing my views. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
I need something that I am sure my husband has to give like the case of Esther,
I have learned not to trust that my husband will give me because he has it to
give. With this approach, I seldom get disappointed because my expectation is
little and I have killed totally any form of entitlement mentality that I
should have in my marriage. So, when I have a request, I present it to God even
when I know my husband has. It is now God’s choice to determine how He chooses
to make available my request. He could choose to use my husband as a vessel to
answer my prayers or decide to find other means suitable to Him. But one thing is sure He
answers me when I call. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Applying
God’s wisdom and praying in all situations brought about victory not only for Esther but for all the Jewish race in the 127 provinces. Applying God’s wisdom in
your marriage gives you peace, joy, and love in your marriage far more than you
can ever achieve in your limited effort. There is absolutely nothing too
trivial in marriage to pray about. Disturb God about everything because that is
what He wants you to do. When you free yourself of the burden and put it all in
the hands of God things begin to happen for your good. Not because you did it,
but because you let God do it for you.</span></div>
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Derinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09610637996004578711noreply@blogger.com0