Wednesday 23 April 2014

Marriage Lessons: My Experience

My last post was written on the 7th of April just a few hours before I was delivered of a wonderful son whom I gave birth to at the very early hours of the 8th day of this month. So I want to thank God for helping me through my months of pregnancy and the delivery of my forth child at the wonderful age of 40years. It can be none other than God who has sustained me all through these days.
In my last post I wrote about the story of a 40year old marriage that is less than perfect and I wanted my readers to learn from. One of the responses I got misunderstood the purpose of the post and thus concluded that I was judgmental in my write-up. I have since responded to that response, but will want write a little more of my own personal experience and the wisdom of God with which I have been managing my home and able to get relative peace in my marital life. This story is very recent and it's about me, my very own personal experience and I pray that someone reading this post will learn from and take advantage of it as they work at having a peaceful marital life with the grace of God alone. 
Like I said earlier I just had my forth child barely 2weeks ago, and the delivery was through a caesarian operation. I was in the hospital for about 4days after the birth for monitoring and then allowed to go home. There is the stress of carrying a pregnancy and then the stress of delivery, and the added stress of having the baby through an operation which requires time for the wounds to heal and the pains to go away. In the middle of this, it is expected that the mother and child are allowed enough rest time to recover. Post-natal depression can be a serious issue if not well handled.
But in the middle of all these my husband found it convenient or maybe appropriate to pick a fight with me. He started getting edgy and nagging over every little and unnecessary thing the moment I got back from the hospital. I tried to manage the situation for a couple of days. It was so bad that when I serve him food, he’ll refuse to eat and then I’ll have to cook another food for him no matter how late in the night it was. Yet I was carrying on with the pains of the operation and the fact that I had to take care of a new baby in addition to attending to the needs of the other three.
Initially I was getting really pissed off by my husband’s attitude. He still expects that I’ll carry on with the usual house chores with the body pains that I had to bear with and the added responsibility of a new baby without any helping hand from him and he still feels justified to complain. I was growing very angry and withdrawn from him by each passing hour. I thought to pray, but was getting too angry with his selfish attitude than to even bother to pray.
At some point I decided to confront him. In cases like this I’ll rather send him a message on his phone rather than discuss with him in person to avoid an argument knowing fully well that I was getting edgy myself. He responded to my message that he is angry because I am not taking care of his needs anymore. That got me more pissed because I wondered if this man who is meant to be my husband understands my health condition. So I wrote him a message and asked who then takes care of my own needs and that of our four children if all I am supposed to be worrying about is meeting his needs at this very stage.
At this point I found a little strength in me to pray. So I asked God in the shortest possible words of prayer to help me through the situation and visit my marriage with His love. Then just from the blues I remembered the doctor had advised I take paracetamol tablets every six hours to help me through with the post delivery pains. So I began to take the medication. Although I was still very angry with my husband, but I started finding the strength to carry on my usual role in the house. I was able to wake up in time to make him a sandwich and a cup of tea before he left for work, I was able to help organize his wardrobe that had been disarranged, and then drive to drop his cloths at the laundry. 
Within the next two days he noticed the change and start to care more. He apologized for been hard on me and for the first time in about 10days that I had put to bed, he demanded to see my stitches and find out how I was healing. It wasn’t that my husband was such a bad husband, he had paid more N400,000 in hospital bill for me to get the best medical care, he was always there to meet the financial demands as they arise. But the devil is at the watch waiting to cash in on any available opportunity to disintegrate the unity and peace of the home.
If I had not put a check on my emotions and remained obedient to my edgy husband even when I was very pissed with him, I will not be able to write this post to you today. If I had remained adamant on not attending to his needs owing to the fact that I needed attention and bed-rest myself, my marriage will be taking a gradual sleep to a break up and I will feel justified for my actions. But I bless God that I prayed. I bless God that He came through for me. I bless God that my marriage will forever be victorious over the schemes and devices of satan.
Sometimes we might feel we have the legitimate right to be angry. But the Lord has given us power over our emotions. 2 Timothy 1:7 says “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” Against your justification for anger is the spirit of power, love and self-discipline that God has given you. Use what the Lord has deposited in your life to conquer that which the devil opens your heart to as right.  

Monday 7 April 2014

A Marriage Of 40years

Although so much as been said and written about the institution of marriage, but the need to continue to speak on this issue until the will and purpose of God is fulfilled in our homes cannot be overlooked. So in my post today I will again write just a little on the subject of marriage and pray that the Lord will minister to a home through this post today.
I happen to know a old couple, the husband being in his early 70s while the wife is in her mid 60s. They have been married for a little over 40yrs and their marriage has been in every way and manner less than an ideal marriage with the joy of marriage not being felt in their home. The husband happens to be a very high handed man, the likes of Nabal in the book of 1 Samuel 25, while the wife is gentle and accommodating. But as the years roll by and the wife not seeing any likely change in her husband's attitude towards her but instead of the man growing more matured, as he is growing older he is becoming more of a terror to the wife than a true husband. And this is how they have both lived for the over 40yrs that they have been together.
Just recently a quarrel broke out between these two old but estranged couple and I happen to hear about it, so I prayed. I sought the face of the Lord over the unending marital troubles of this couple. The strange truth is that the wife is a God fearing Christian and this has been the major reason why she has never contemplated a divorce from her trouble marriage or a separation from her unloving husband. But the fact that she is a God fearing Christian ought to be more of the reason why she should have things going well for her in her marriage. So like I said earlier, I decided to pray for these couple and seek the face of God for the solution to the travails of their marriage.
As I prayed the Lord revealed to me that in as much as the wife is suffering so much in her marriage as it is, she has not done enough to be a help to that unloving husband of hers as God has assigned her to be. The Christ in her is not shining bright enough to bring the husband out of the den of his bad behaviour to the position of a faithful and good husband. And although she prays well enough for her husband, yet her prayers have not been accompanied by the ideal behaviour of a wife to a husband. And this will not make for the desired result as the Lord will answer her prayers through the good deeds in her life towards her husband.
I was not really shocked by the revelation God gave me. This wife of over 40yrs has been so badly treated by her husband for so many years that it is pretty difficult to forgive or see anything good in the man. Although she remains married to him for the sake of honouring God, and not wanting the stigma of separation after many years, but speaking about having any feeling of love for the man she married to is non-existent. Now that she is old and the attributes of old age are setting in for her, she gets more irritated and confrontational with her husband, as she has harboured so much resentment towards him over the years.
In all of this narration what I want those reading this post to take home as a lesson is this: In all our service to God, our assignment in the home is of utmost importance. And despite all that your spouse has done wrong to you, your God given assignment to be his suitable help has not changed. Also as a husband, no matter how bad your wife has hurt your feelings, your God given assignment to love her unconditionally has not changed. His/her attitude towards you has in no way excused you from fulfilling your God given assignment to him or her because it is a God given assignment and not man assigned.
Another important point to hold on to is that your prayer with regards to your spouse’s change of attitude will be of little effect if you do not accompany it will good attitude. 1 Peter 3:1-6 teaches the wives that it is by their behaviour that their unbelieving husbands are won over to God. This takes place when the husband sees the purity and reverence in the life of his wife and not just endless prayers. Also 1 Peter 3:7 teaches that the husband who does not treat his  wife with love and respect stands the risk of having his prayers hindered. So we need to be mindful of our attitude as we work towards getting a peaceful home and fulfilling our God given assignment.
The story of the 40yr old marriage in crisis is only so because the couple have not accompanied their prayers with the prescribed attitude of marriage towards each other. The wife is still holding on to the hurt of the maltreatment of her husband and so finds it hard to submit to him as required of her even though she is praying for him. And the husband is still so engrossed in being the boss to his wife and sees no point in loving or showing her respect. Yet these two live in misery of marriage and it has been so for over 40yrs.
In conclusion I will say this, our ego or the will to hold on to the hurting feeling from the attitude of our spouses possess one big danger. There is no matter how much we have worked for God, we stand the risk of losing our eternity over this issue. If we have been unable to fulfill this assignment of marriage given to us by God then all our works of righteousness holds for nothing. May the Lord help us to be faithful in all things.

Wednesday 19 March 2014

The Husband and His Marriage

In my last post, I was able to write a little on the role of a wife in marriage and I got quite some interesting responses to that post. In that post, I had addressed just the women, noting that I am a woman and I am inclined to discuss issues from a woman’s perspective. But that has not left out the fact that a man has a very big role to play in marriage. And so with all humility and respect for the men as the head over the women, I will write today on what God expects of a man in marriage and how the man can probably bring out the best in his wife.
I am convinced basically from what I have read in the Bible that the foundation of the home is the responsibility of the woman, but that does not put off the truth that God expects the man to have some input in the building of a success home. The fact that the man is the head of the home makes him accountable for most of the issues of the home. His contributions are not limited to providing for the family because even the woman has also been saddled with the responsibility to provide for the family as we can see in Proverbs 31. So in order to understand well what God expects of the man in marriage we need to go back to the Bible.

Ephesians 5:25-31 (NIV)
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ the church - for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

Colossians 3:19 (NIV)
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.


Just as I did when I discussed on the roles of the wife, I have gone back to passages in the Bible where God explicitly gave His instruction to the husband through Paul and Peter. The instruction for the husbands is first of all to love their wives just as Christ loved the church. If God had just told the husband to love his wife, it could be any kind of love, it could be half love or a quarter love, but God said the love of the husband to his wife should be in the pattern in which Christ loved the church. So any love short of this kind of love from the husband to his wife is not what God expects from a man to his wife.
The kind of love God expects from the husband to the wife is such that the husband should be ready to give himself up for his wife, it is a kind of love that unconditional. Just as the church has betrayed the trust of Christ so many times and yet He loves them, God expects that the husband should love his wife despite her shortfall.
Now speaking of shortfalls in the life of the wife, the book of Ephesians 3 tells us that Christ made the church holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and then presented her to himself as a radiant church without stain, wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. If the church was holy without Christ, there will be no need for Christ to make her holy because she would have been perfect as she was.
But due the imperfection of the church Christ had to put in efforts in making the church (His bride) holy and blameless, by the washing with the water through the word. And He did this just that He might present the church to HIMSELF as a radiant church. Christ didn’t take the pains to cleanse the church for any other person or purpose, but for His own personal pleasure.
This is the pattern that God has set before the man as the approved pattern for the husband in marriage. He has been mandated by God to love his wife unconditionally and then just like Christ did, make efforts at cleansing her and making her holy and blameless, then presenting her to himself and nobody else as a radiant bride. This the husband will do not for the pleasure of anyone else, but for himself alone. As a man, the unconditional love that you have been mandated by God to have for your wife is to propel you to bring out the radiance in her. Working to remove the shortfalls in her life that you might enjoy to the full advantage what God has deposited in the life of your wife for you.
God through Paul also instructed that the man is to love his wife as himself. He says the fact that you love your wife is an indication that you love yourself, and in as much as you cannot hate yourself, you ought not to hate your wife.
This sometimes look like not the case with many men and it appears very possible to love themselves yet not love their wives. But in order to understand this a little better I will want us to look at two more Bible passages.

Genesis 2:18 (NIV)
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Proverbs 18:22 (NIV)
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from God. 


When Paul said the man who loves his wife loves himself, he was not speaking out of context. If God who made man in the beginning has declared that it is not good for the man to be alone, then that goes to tell us there is a missing link in the existence of man that only his wife who is the suitable help the Lord has made for him can fill. So to say that the existence of the man is not perfectly complete without the wife who is his suitable help. Nobody but God made it so.
The problem with the man who does not love his wife is that he has despised that which the Lord has provided for him to make him complete and perfect. The wife is not just an ordinary entity to the man, she is not just like any other person who appears in his life, she is a portion of him that the Lord placed in his life to complete and make perfect his existence. And so Paul says you as a man cannot claim to love yourself when you don't love your wife. And this is so true because your wife is part of you.
Just as I asked in my last blog post to the women, before you write your wife off as a thorn in your flesh, in what way have you attempted to cleanse her, thereby presenting her to yourself as a radiant bride in the same pattern as Christ did the church? Before you approach the divorce court to annul that marriage, what can you say has been your input in the life of your wife to make her a better person for your own pleasure? What are the good seeds that you have planted in the life of your wife that you have prayerfully watered and nurtured from which you expect the harvest of goodness from her life? If you have not been able to do the needful in the life of your wife, then you will be just as guilty when you proclaim that she has not been the wife you expect her to be. May the Lord help the husbands to be all that He expects them to be.






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Friday 14 March 2014

The Wife and Her Marriage

I kind of assumed that enough has been said on the issue of marriage, and I really bless God for the lives and homes that have been positively impacted by the topics that were discussed in my previous blog posts on the issues of marriage and the home as a whole. Quite a lot of people have agreed that in truth there is more they need to do beyond that which they assumed was more than enough contribution on their part in making their homes better places to live in.
But since there is yet to be a significant decline in the rate of divorce and cases of broken marriages, I will continue to write, and if its just a person or two that is benefiting from the messages preached by God through me then I will be grateful to God.
In my everyday life, I still hear of women who have very little or absolute no knowledge of what the Lord requires of them in marriage. They still carry on with the mind-set that in marriage they are designed to be on the receiving end. I have heard on quite a lot of radio programs where it is said that the wife tends to respond in direct proportion to whatever actions they get from their husbands. So since the Lord has instructed the husbands to love their wives as themselves, then they are to carry on that task first and then the wife will respond positively to the love shown to them by their husbands.
This is very good and agreeable by me when the men preach this kind of message among themselves. This is a message that should be preached solely in a gathering of men and not to women. I am saying this because in the institution of marriage the woman is not just designed to be on the receiving end of the equation, but to give more than she receives. As a matter of fact the woman has been designed by God to build the home and not the man.

Ephesians 5:22-23
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.

Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, in same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.


In as much as I agree that for the wife to perform her duty effectively, it will be of advantage that her husband shows her love and respect and appreciate all that she is doing to make the home a comfortable home. But that said, the starting point in building the home is when the wives learn to submit to their husbands.
The three passages above are portions of the Bible where the roles of the husband and the wife are explicitly spelt out to them by God through Paul and Peter. But the instruction was not first given to the man, but to the woman. So if we are to think deep on this, we need to ask ourselves that why is God addressing the woman first? I am persuaded to believe that God made it so because the foundation of any marriage lies with the wife. And the foundation of a successful marriage lies in the ability of the wife to submit to her husband as to the Lord.
When a woman is in total submission to her husband and she is a good Christian with the fear of God rooted deeply in her life, then it will not be long before she draws out the love that her husband has for her if he is yet to start to show it.

Genesis 2:18, 21
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”


So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The second important role a wife should play in the life of the husband is that of a suitable help. God identified the short falls in the life of the man He created and concluded that this man needs a help. So from within him the Lord made the woman and presented her to the man to be his wife. But one interesting point that women miss on is that God never assigned the woman to help the man in specific areas of his life and leave the others. From what is recorded in the Bible the wife is a suitable help for her husband in every aspect of the man’s life where help is needed or required. So Solomon in his wisdom was able to say in Proverbs 18:22 that “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.”
So if as a wife your husband is failing, I dare to tell you that you are failing all the more because you have been assigned by God to help him in every area of his life where help is needed.
Before you write your husband off as a “never do well”, before you run to the divorce court for a certificate of annulment of that marriage, what have you done to help your husband become a better person and so fulfilling your God given assignment in his life?
In truth your husband might not be faithful to you in that marriage, that is a problem that you have recognized. So rather than opt for the divorce option, what have you done to help him overcome his infidelity problem? Because in truth you are his God assigned suitable help in all the problems he might be facing. Rather than stigmatize your husband as a poverty stricken fellow, running out on him for a richer man, what have you done to help alleviate his poverty? If you are not capable of works, you are at least capable of praying heaven down on him until the Lord hears your cry and delivers him.
In the book of 1Samuel 25, everyone knew Nabal to be a surly and mean fellow in his dealings. Though he was very wealthy yet he was stingy. But he had a gift from God in the person of his intelligent beautiful wife Abigail. Although everyone recognized Nabal for his bad attributes, one person who didn't write him off was his wife Abigail. When Nabal stepped on David's toes and was going to be killed, this intelligent wife of Nabal ran to his rescue. She did the needful, by appeasing David on behalf of her stingy husband, carrying food and other supplies to David and his men in the desert and pleading just that David will not destroy her husband and his household. This is an example that a good wife needs to hold dear. And just as I mentioned earlier if you are not capable of works, you should be capable of prayers until the Lord hears your cry and delivers your husband.
As a woman, your marriage is just as beautiful as you make it, you are the bedrock of that marriage and it will stand on the foundation that you build it on. Your home is all about you.  

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Wednesday 5 March 2014

Bringing Up Godly Offspring; A Positive Contribution To A Healthy Society

I bless God for the lives of those who have been impacted by my previous post on the importance of raising our children for the Lord. I am sorry if I have to revisit this issue once more before moving on to other aspect of our lives and home.
I must confess that the things I have been reading on the news about the ways and attitude of the youth of this generation has caused a scare in my thinking. I read about a 16year old girl who was stabbed to death on her a way to school by her ex-lover over the fact that she called off a love affair they once had. This I read happened somewhere in Kenya. The first thing that came to my heart is what a 16year old girl needs a lover for at that age. And then the uncontrolled aggression of the so-called lover.
And in my own very own city of Lagos in Nigeria, an 18year old undergraduate was killed in her own residence by a group of boys living within the same area as she was, owing to the fact that she refused to give in to the sexual advances made to her by the boys. And these same boys had the boldness to send a text message to the mother of the girl informing her that they have killed her daughter to teach her a lesson not to be too proud.
These are some of the heart breaking things that are happening around us that has called for parents to wake up from whatever slumber they might be in at the moment and live up to their God assigned responsibility of raising godly offspring that the Lord seeks (Malachi 2:15). It appears that just under our very own eyes the devil is snatching away our children and we are doing very little about it. The new trend of child protection that has totally eroded the use of the rod as a form of discipline might be one of the reasons why we are beginning to have cases as the ones that we have in the world today with regards our children. But with the consciousness that we will surely render account to the Lord over the lives of our children, and the fact we are also mortgaging our own rest in the future requires that we wake and take necessary steps to start to do the needful in raising our children in a godly manner with good moral standard. And if that is all that we are able to contribute to the society that we live in, then we would have done so much in making the world a better place for all to live in.
I am not an advocate or supporter of child abuse, I presently have 3 wonderful children ages between 6-10years and I am expecting the forth in a couple of weeks, so I am too passionate about children. But that said I am also going to live my parental life based on Bible standard. Proverbs 23:13-14 says “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.”
Growing up for me was with stern discipline. I was not abused, but I must confess that stern discipline was not lacking in my parent’s dictionary. It was not easy at the time for all six of my mother’s children because my mum was a strict disciplinarian. We took the cane when required. In fact I must say that at some point growing up I concluded my mother was actually not my mother because she was too much of her disciplinarian for my comprehension. But today at over 40years of age, I bless God that I was trained in such a manner because it really helped build my moral values and that of my siblings. My mother is a joyful woman today advancing well into old age and happy that she has six wonderful children who are today her best friends and confident. Above all she knows so well that she is loved.
Just before I close up on this blog post, I came across a report both on the news and as a post on Google+ and I can’t help but make reference to it. It’s about an 18year old girl suing her parents for not paying for her upkeep and sending her out of the house. The parents on their own part claimed the girl moved out of the house voluntarily because she would not live by their rules or do any house chores. Interestingly the parents of the friend of the girl are sponsoring the court case between the girl and her parents. I have read a lot of comments on the google+ post blaming the situation on bad parenting, and some are of the opinion that the father might be too strict to warrant the girl’s behaviour. Although most of the comments didn’t go so deep because of lack of full knowledge of the background story of the family. But what I applaud so far is the ability of the judge to recognize the disrespect shown by the girl towards her parents and the ripple effects the case will have on the society, as children will now be at liberty to sue their parents for every flimsy excuse.
In as much as I will not exonerate the parents off faulty upbringing, still I will say that no child is above rebuke by his/her parents at whatever age they might have attained. In Job 1:1-7, we see the father Job purifying his children even when they were old and already living in their individual homes. Job understand that at whatever age his children had attained he still held the responsibility to ensure that they lived right before God.

1 Samuel 3:11-14
And the Lord said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle. At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family - from beginning to end. For I told him that I will judge his family for ever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them. Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, “The guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.”

The sons of Eli were no small boys, they were not toddlers or teenagers yet the Lord expects that Eli should restrain his sons from wrong doing. The Lord had warned Eli once and it was just time to punish the family. The sins committed where not by Eli as a prophet, but by his sons. The only sin committed by Eli was his inability to restrain his sons from wrong doing. So if a father thinks within himself that although he had initially failed in his parenting responsibility but now it's time to right his wrongs, then I applaud such a father. If an 18year old child is all of a sudden too old to live by instruction then she should be ready to live by the consequences.
I am of the mindset that a combination of discipline and love produces the best desired results in bringing up godly offspring, but removing the element of discipline and strict discipline when the need arises from the ingredients of parenting is acting in error. My children holds a major priority in my life and that of my husband's. We love them dearly and by the grace of God we ensure they don't lack the things they need and even want. We strive hard to provide their needs and wants but still make sure they are well disciplined. I have adopted a formula for my own children and I am trusting God that it produces good result. And that is: If I correct them over a wrong doing by word of mouth once and again, then on the third occasion of a re-occurrence of that same wrong doing I correct them with my cane and I make it a point of duty to make them understand why they are been caned.  
I will warn parents not to take out their frustrations on their children, and also to discipline their children with caution and with much love keeping in mind that the purpose of the discipline is to make the child a better individual rather than to destroy or harm the child. When this is the focus of discipline, then it is applied appropriately and correctly.  
In closing, I will say this: If we cannot contribute anything to the society, we will be making a very big and major impact in the world we live in by the quality of the children we produce for the society. If we all cannot be big role models in the society, we can be major contributors to a better society via the little things we do in the confines of our homes, lives, children and family.

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Monday 24 February 2014

Lessons To Impress On Our Children

In my last post I began a discussion on the unhealthy trend in the lives of the youth of this generation. I mentioned a story I read in the news of an 18year old boy who killed a 12year old girl just to get the feaces of a virgin which he claimed a pastor asked him to bring in exchange for a N100,000.00 fee. And this story shocking as it may sound is just one of the many stories of the atrocities committed by the youth of this generation. One common trend among these youths is their unquenching thirst to make money by all means, be it negative or positive. Their total lack of will to wait on God for their dreams to materialize is actually very alarming.
Although I will not put the blame on the parents in totality, but I am of the opinion that the devil is out to snatch away the youths and this calls for extra vigilance on the part of the parents knowing fully well that their peace of mind in the old age is anchored on the investment in discipline and love they have been able to make in the lives of their children now that they can.
One truth that has worked for me and I am convinced to be so true is that the words of the Bible are effective. For those who know how to wait on God, the dividends of their righteousness will produce good fruits for them at the right time. Isaiah 40:31 says “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” This is the portion of those who have learned to wait on God. This is the message that God expects that we hold for our lives and teach our wealthy hasty children as they grow.

Ecclesiastes 2:24-25
A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.


The passage above teaches deep lessons that we need to learn and then teach to our children. The wealth that is stored up by sinners and through sinful means are actually been laid in wait for the righteous. It might sounds like an impossibility, but with God who is the sole owner of all wealth, He will distribute His wealth as He deems fit irrespective of our dreams, desires and actions. If anyone tries to acquire it forcefully, they only retain it for a short while and get punished for their actions.

Proverbs 12:11He who works his hands will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgement.

Proverbs 13:11
Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow.

Proverbs 10:22
The blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.

Proverbs 23:4-5
Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint.
Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle.


Above are some basic truth about the pursuit of wealth that as parents we need to be mindful of and at the same time teach our children. The desire to be rich is not in anyway wrong, but the blind and ungodly pursuit of it tells how long we will be able to keep the wealth that has been acquired. No matter how fast a man gets rich and no matter the fact that he is young or old, the truth is that if his means of wealth is ungodly then it is just last a short while with very serious consequences. As parents we need to get close to our children enough to know their deepest secrets and be able to put them on the right path early enough.
A child millionaire will not necessarily translate to an adult millionaire if he has not learned to grow wise and show restraint to the pursuit of wealth. And also because the child next door is rich at a tender age does not mean that all the children on that lane should be teenage millionaires. Their destinies defer and the plan of God for their lives are different. These are the truth we need to instil in the minds of our growing children.
A child who has learned to work his hands from his youth will learn the secret of growing wealth little by little right from when he is young and be sure that his wealth will grow. It is important that as parents we start to disabuse the minds of our children from the get rich fast and young syndrome, so as to preserve their lives from death.

Wednesday 19 February 2014

Discussing Matters Of The Home

Malachi 2:15
Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.

Most of my blog post last year where based on issues that were closely related to the topic of marriage, and I have received quite a number of positive and encouraging responses that makes me thank God. This year I will still be doing much of the same thing, but focus more on the home as a bigger picture. I will trust God to help us as parents and parents to be, focus more on the bringing up of our children to be all that God has called them to be as part of having a healthy home, and as we all strive to make our contribution to a better world for all to live in.
In my spear time or when I think I just need to rest, I lie down and pick up my phone to go through the tweets from people and organizations that I am following. I have quite a number of local News platforms that I am following so I get to read the news via their tweets. One very prominent news that comes up almost everyday day is the prevalent decay in the moral standard of the youths of this generation, and their unquenching thirst for money and the luxuries of life. I read of an 18year old boy who strangled a 12year old girl to death because a pastor asked him to bring the last feaces of a virgin for a reward of N100,000.00. I was not just shocked at the news, and wondered what on earth an 18year old boy wants to do with such an amount of money. Then there is another story of a 19year old girl being stabbed to death for refusing the advances made to her by a group of boys living within the same environment as she was. Her offense being that  she is too proud and will not mingle with those in the society.
These and many more stories that are featuring today, necessitates the need for us as parents to be re-awakened to our God given responsibility as parents. The Lord said He made the man and his wife one in flesh and spirit because He seeks godly offspring from their union (Malachi 2:15). And like all other assignment that the Lord has laid on us as humans, on the issue of the offspring that we birth forth, the Lord will demand an account from us.

Genesis 9:5
And for the lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each man too. I will demand an accounting for the life of his fellow man.


The words above is a declarations of God that has not been found to change by any other word of declaration in the Bible. Though the Lord might temper justice with mercy, but yet He will demand an account over every of our conduct on earth and every assignment we have been assigned to do on the face of the earth. Living with the consciousness that we will have to account for the lives of our offspring on how we have performed in raising them up for the Lord as He seeks, calls for the need for us as parents, by the grace of God to do more and put more effort in excelling in this one big and important assignment for God.   
The priority given to this assignment has its ripple effect. When God revealed that He seeks godly offspring from the marriage union, it is not to God’s advantage but it is for the benefit of the man to whom the charge has been given. Whether your offspring are godly or not does not make God less than God, it does not diminish His powers in any way and neither does it reduce His Kingdom over which He rules as God. But that we men might have comfort and peace in the society we live in, thus the Lord seeks godly offspring from our marriage union.

Proverbs 17:21, 25
To have a fool for a son brings grief; there is no joy for the father of a fool.

A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him.

Proverbs 19:13a, 18
A foolish son is his father’s ruin.

Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.


From the passages above, we don't need to have anyone reconfirm to us that the charge by God to raise our children in a godly manner is mainly for our own future good. Obedience to this charge is a positive preparation on our own part for own future. Another important thing to note is that raising godly offspring that the Lord seeks rid the society of unbelievably demoralizing stories of what is happening in the lives of the youth such as we have today. When every home and every parent prayerfully adhere to God’s instruction to discipline their children and bring them up in the way of the Lord with stern discipline and adequate love then we are walking our way to a healthy society.

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