Wednesday 25 February 2015

Is Love Good Enough A Reason For You To Get Married

One of the first questions mostly asked intending couples is if they LOVE each other. It is the norm that one of the prerequisite for marriage is love. But I want those who will be reading this post to ask themselves this question very sincerely whether married, about to marry or hoping to get married someday. Is Love good enough a reason for one to get married to a person or not? This is the question I will trust the Lord to help us answer in the today's blogpost.

Song Of Songs 8:6-7(NIV)
6Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like the blazing fire, like a mighty flame. 7Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned. 

This passage is a description of love between a man and a woman as found in the Bible. The kind of love described here is the love that is meant to exist only between a man and a woman in marriage. When I sought the face of God for a better understanding of this kind of love, the Holy Spirit opened up my heart to see and understand love as a catalyst feeling that God has put in the heart of the man and his wife to enhance their bonding in marriage. The love described by Solomon here is like an adhesive that enhances the bonding of a man and the woman he is married to.
I will like to share with those reading this post that this love that is talked about is a beautiful feeling. It's the strong bond between two married couples. This love is sacrificial, it's strong, it ignites warmth, it enhances oneness, it enhances a sense of protection between the couple who share this bond as one spouse will always want to protect the other. This love produces peace and it is fun to have. When there is love between married couples prosperity reigns in their midst. I can go on with all the beautiful things that comes with love and so it's not abnormal to be sure that this love exist between any intending couple.
But just as I asked earlier, is this Love strong enough to hold a marriage till eternity such that it becomes the sole criteria for any two people to come into a marriage covenant? If we look at the description from the passage above, Solomon said this love is strong as death and it's jealousy as unyielding as the grave, and so this tells me that this love has its good and bad side. This love is powerful yet can be destructive when channeled wrongly.
Solomon warned in Songs of Songs 2:7, he said"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." From what I am learning in this book of the Bible, this beautiful love that God has made and filled into the hearts of men solely for marriage purpose can be misused, misapplied and aroused or awakened inappropriately. And when this happens, this beautiful additive that God made exclusively for marriage becomes as unyielding as the grave. Then this love that is sweet and beautiful becomes a venom of death. And so we hear and see people become very destructive and doing absurd things just for the sake of love. When you hear someone killed for love, then you realise that it is love that has been misapplied and awakened unnecessarily. Then love becomes as strong as death. No wonder Solomon had to repeat that same warning three times (Songs of Songs 2:7, 3:5, 8:4) within an eight chapter book.
There is a step that precedes the release or the awakening of love, and that is a divine consultation with God. When you see someone you think you might be interested in, the first thing to do is to pray and ask God to reveal to you if that person is the one whom He has made for you or has made you for, before releasing your love to such a person. Because when you allow the release of love before a divine consultation with God you will not hear clearly what the Lord is saying to you about the one in whom you have invested your love.
In quite a number of cases where we hear of people getting their hearts broken, when questions are thoroughly asked, it is always a case of one falling in love with someone they never prayed about before falling in love with. And so Solomon charges all not to arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
In the book of Genesis 24, we find the story of Isaac and Rebekah, and one thing that caught my interest in that story was the fact that Rebekah was willing to marry Isaac despite the fact that she had not met him in person. And when you read through the story of Isaac and Rebekah you will discover that they both loved each other through their troubled times, when they had no child for a long 20years. One secret behind the success of Isaac and Rebekah's marriage was that the choice of who to marry was made by God and nobody else. And love was awakened in their relationship after God had approved of the union. The fact that God was the origin of their union didn't mean they did not have their challenges, but they scaled through them all with their marriage still standing strong.
We discover that those who love themselves so very dearly at the point of getting married might eventually fall out of love for each other to the point of getting a divorce in some cases, and in some other cases the issue of violence and abuse then surfaces in their marriage. Based on this fact, I will then say that love is not a reason strong enough for a marriage covenant to stand on. Love like all other emotional feeling appears and disappears. There are times a person is happy and there are times that same person is sad. In the same manner there are times the love between a couple is very strong and there are times the love between them is almost non-existent. When all that is holding a marriage together is love, then at the point where it fades, trouble starts.
But when you have the hold of the hand of God on your marriage which is bigger and better than any love you can feel, then there is the confidence that your marriage can weather any storm whether you are in or out of love for each other. God is the origin of love and so He knows when to reapply the bond of love when it seems to be fading away.
So from my own discovery and conclusion, I will say that LOVE as an emotion, strong as it maybe, is not a reason strong enough for any two people to enter into a marriage covenant with each other without first seeking the mind of God on the matter. If for any reason you see someone you think you are interested in getting married to, please hold the love in within you and objectively seek the face of God on the step you are about to take before releasing your love to such a person.
And for those who are in marriage and didn't seek God first before taking the decision, we all serve a God of second and third and forth and fifth and endless chances. All you need to do is get wise enough to invite Jesus into your marriage and He will right all your wrongs and rebuild that marriage of yours and do for you and your spouse what you otherwise cannot do for yourself.
 

Thursday 19 February 2015

The Foundation Of Marriage

In my two previous posts this year I wrote that most of the post from this blog will be focused on is the issue of marriage and building a successful home. In Genesis chapter two, the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone and so marriage is an institution that almost every one created by God will pass through. It is the norm in all human race that one should get married. But marriage is not just about a man and a woman living together, but that they live together in harmony and love and oneness which is what makes a successful marriage.
An old classmate of mine recently shared a story on group chat we both belong to of  her friend who died recently from domestic abuse. This lady who got married less than two years ago was beaten to death by her husband while she was pregnant. And this is not a case in isolation, there are several of such cases that I have read about on news journal and online news portals and several uncountable divorces cases that occur almost every minute. Several of my friends on the chat platform were of the opinion that the lady should have walked out of the marriage as soon as the abuse started rather than endured it to her death.
I can not totally say they are wrong for making such comments, but could the lady and several other ladies in abusive marriage get a better deal from their marriage is a question I will trust God to help us answer in the series of post I will be sharing on the topic of marriage in the next weeks and months.
In order to have a marriage that shines bright and gives you great to joy and not one that you have to endure, it must be built on the right foundation. Several people have entered into marriage for very wrong reasons and one of such reason is emotions. And when the reason for the coming together of these two wonderful people expires, then we get to hear of things like divorce and abuse in marriage.
Some other people have had spouses picked for them without their consent and without adequate prayer and hearing from God on the choice of spouse they have chosen for their children and wards, so such people are burdened with a marriage that does not make them happy or give them joy. This also is a reason that can lead to divorce or abuse in marriage.
With this said, what then is the appropriate approach to making a choice of a marriage partner? In order to answer this question right, we need to get back to the Bible.

Genesis 2:18; 20b-22; 24-25
18The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

But for Adam no suitable help was found. 21So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

24For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
25The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. 


The scripture above gives us insight into the origin of marriage. First, it tells us why the Lord instituted marriage, as the Lord Himself stated that it is not good for the man to be alone. The second and very important thing to note in this scripture is that it was the Lord upon pronouncing that it is not good for the man to be alone who made the woman from the rib He took out of the man and then presented her to the man.
When God said it was not good for the man to be alone, He did not ask the man to go in search of a help for himself but rather made a suitable helper for him in the form of a woman and brought her to him. When a man is approaching a point in his life where he needs a suitable helper, he needs not burden himself searching for a suitable helper because that is not a task he can carry out adequately well. All he needs to do is go back to God in prayer, and petition God to present to him the suitable helper He has created for him. That woman whom the Lord formed from the rib He took from such a man.
When your choice of a wife is based on prayer and not emotions, then you will be getting married to God's best choice for you and that lays the foundation for success in your marital life.
Also for the woman the same approach applies to you, please it is better that you pray and seek the consent of God to inquire and know if that man you want to marry is the man from whose ribs the Lord formed you and for whose life's purpose you have been created before you sign off the authority of your life to a wrong head.
And if as a woman you think you are beginning to get old and yet to be married, please don't get so worried and then give yourself off to the wrong man. Please take the time to pray and ask the Lord to present you to that man from whose ribs He made you and for whose life's destiny your were formed.
For those who have entered into marriage without first seeking the mind of God before taking the decision, all hope is not lost. At whatever level your marriage is now, you can start to pray for God's visitation and intervention in your marriage. Pray that the Lord begins to right the wrongs in your home and life and thus make your marriage a beauty to behold. This is something not difficult at all for God to do if you'll sincerely let Him. 
In my next post, I will trust God to help us consider the role love plays in marriage and if love can be the sole criteria for one to get married.

Thursday 29 January 2015

The Lord That Keeps His Promises


1 Kings 8:15, 20a, 23 (NIV)
Then he said: "Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who with his own hand has fulfilled what he promised with his own mouth to my father David."

The Lord has kept the promise he made: I have succeeded David my father and now I sit on the throne of Israel, just as the Lord promised.

"the Lord, the God of Israel, there is no God like you in heaven above or on the earth below - you who keep your covenant of love with your servants who continue wholeheartedly in your way.

In my last post I mentioned that the bulk of my posts this year will focus on the issues of home building which includes working towards and enjoying a successful marriage based on God's rules for marriage and raising godly offspring. But I will seek permission for just a little diversion from the main focus, and so today I will do a short write-up on trusting God to fulfill that which He has promised us.
There are so many words from different men-of-God concerning the year 2015 that is just beginning. The Lord has spoken through the mouth of quite a handful of pastors and through them told us what the year holds in store. But most importantly is the fact that right in the Bible we find so many promises of God and what the Lord has in store for those who follow after His ways and obey His commands.
But the confidence that I have and want to share with someone reading this post today is that God is faithful to that which He has promised. Solomon said this repeatedly as he dedicated the temple he built for the Lord that God has fulfilled with His own hands that which He promised with His mouth.
I will remain encouraged in this truth and want to share the same encouragement with as many as the Lord will help me reach out to, that without your help, contribution or support, God will fulfill in your life, situation, finances, marriage, children, health and every area of your life with His own hands that which His mouth has promised. He will not speak forth that which He does not intend to bring to pass in your life.
But Solomon put a clause to what he affirmed to, he said, "God is the God who keeps His covenant of love with His servants who continue wholeheartedly to keep His ways." So God's faithfulness knows no limit in the lives of those who wholeheartedly follow His ways.
So as we continue into the year and await the manifestation of God's promises in our lives, we need to wholeheartedly continue in His ways. Solomon had experienced God's faithful and he affirmed to that which he experienced and enjoyed. David said in Psalm 37:25 that "he was young and later old, yet he had never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread," so David also affirmed to the God who keeps promises and rewards righteousness.
So with these being the characteristics of our God, this year let us dig deep into our faith and hold on to God for a wonderful year ahead as we set our minds with the help of Jesus and the Holy Spirit to live a righteous life deserving of God promises and faithfulness.

Please feel free to take a tour of my website www.thewordthatsuits.com, it promises to be a very exciting visit.

As we begin this new year and strife to trust God for a peaceful year in our homes, marriages and in the lives of our children, I will encourage you to get my book Marriage: God's Rules Of Engagement. It is a book like non-else as it highlights the mind of God regarding various marital issues you might be going through. You will also find in it real life stories of challenges of marriage and how you can scale through them. This book helped me, and I am positive it will help you too. Available on the under-listed platforms. You can also review the book and please leave a comment.
https://www.createspace.com/4309313

http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417633917&sr=1-1&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement

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Wednesday 14 January 2015

A New Year With Change In Mind

It's a beautiful thing to be given grace to witness another year. So as this is my first blog post this year 2015, I want to wish all my readers a very happy new year. And I pray this will be a prosperous year for us all in the name of Jesus.
I am particularly grateful to God for the year 2014, and I must say that it was a year that God showed Himself mighty in the affairs of my life. I am positive that many of those who have totally put their trust in God will share the same declaration that indeed the Lord has been good to us in the past year. And much more will He do for us this year if only we invest our total trust in Him and His ability to deliver us from all of our troubles.
I am yet to come up with a topic for today's post, but I trust that has the Lord presents His word through me, He will give a topic before I am done writing this piece.
Just exactly a week ago, I heard on the news that there was a shot-out at a magazine publication firm in Paris and about 12people where killed. This story made headlines for about three on all news platform and until the perpetrators of the gruesome act where apprehended and killed, we didn't hear much of anything else on all the news channels.
Interestingly, for a reason I can't explain, I found myself following up on the development. Quite a handful of analyst where on air to lend a voice to what was then happening in France, and one comment that caught my attention was a man who gave the "lack of parental attention" as one of the reasons why there are quite a handful of young men in the western countries enrolling as Jihadist fighters. And this just re-enforces the end result of the decay in moral values and the after effect on the larger society of the various unfixed defects in the home.
The defects in the home can take so many forms and shapes, but whether we are aware of it or not, this defects affects the larger society in one form or the other. There is a ripple effect of your actions or in-actions on the society either positively or negatively, the effect coming in direct proportion of your action.
A dysfunctional home is not likely to produce positive output, and so the children from such home are likely to be of less that desirable behaviour. My pastor ones told me to keep watch over a trend in my home, he said I should watch what starts to happen to my children when a have prolonged fight with my husband. When he called my attention to it, I initially thought he was taking things a little too far. But to my shock, I realised then that when I have prolonged fight with my husband, at least one of my children will fall sick. And then it occurred to me that whatever happens between me and my husband had an effect on my children. It was mind blowing, but that, I have come to realise to be true.
If for reason of irreconcilable differences between a man and his wife they produce children with less than acceptable behaviour into the society, then such a society is endangered by the product emanating from this one dysfunctional home. So we can then begin to imagine when we do not have just one dysfunctional home, but several of them.
As we begin this new year, I believe it is time to look inward for the solution to the many problems of our society that we so dearly seek God for an intervention in. There is a song of the late Michael Jackson that I would love make a reference to in this write-up. Michael says in his song that if you want to a better world then first take a look in the mirror and let the change begin with the man you see in the mirror.
True, your marriage in your own words or perception is plagued with irreconcilable differences, but have you given a thought to the broader effect of that so called irreconcilable difference? What are the measures you have taken to reconcile the difference between you and your spouse before concluding that it is irreconcilable?

Matthew 19:7-8
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

From what we understand Jesus to be saying in the passage above, that irreconcilable difference is the hardness of the heart of man. There is no problem in any area of our lives that God cannot help us overcome if we truly invite Him into the situation.
As we begin a new year and start to make plans for the year, one important plan that is required of us is to make our own positive contribution to the society we live in. This contribution does not have to come in a large size. As little as making ourselves better people is enough contribution to our society. As little as making efforts in making our marriages work as God has planned it to, is enough contribution to our society. As little as raising our children in the way of the Lord and impressing in them good moral values and norms are big contributions to the society that takes the shape of little. As little as making our homes a haven for our spouse and children are little contributions with big effects to the society.
I am a stay home mum and wife, by the grace of God I put serious efforts in running my home and making sure my home is filled with love and peace. The effect of what God is doing through me is that my husband is able to give his best in his work place as he has little or no distraction from the home front and my husband is always quick to thank me for what I am doing in the home. (This is coming just as an example of little contribution with positive effect on the society).
With the help of the Holy-Spirit, I will again concentrate the write-ups coming from this blog for this year 2015 on issues of the home. Every area and aspect of building and enjoying effective and functional home will be looked into. Starting from the marriage, the man and his wife and everything that revolves around the marriage will be discussed. Also the issue of raising godly children, dealing with finances in the homes will be looked into. Topics that have already been discussed and probably exist in the blog archives will also be re-visited and I pray that it will be a year of learning for us all and a year of making and sustaining positive changes in our lives, homes and the society.

If you have any question or issue you want discussed please send me a mail on info@thewordthatsuits.com or derin@thewordthatsuits.com. I will be looking forward to hearing from you.

 You probably have read a book or two on marriage, but I assure you there is still one more you need to get and read, and keep reading and continue to make reference to as you trust God for a positive change in your marriage. I had also thought there were irreconcilable differences in my marriage, and then the Lord showed me that I was wrong. My marriage was one characterized by so many negatives that I had concluded that sticking it out was no use. But today, God turned it all around for me. Same husband, same marriage, better results, so much love and affection, peace all around me and four lovely children to crown my life. Come and learn what God Himself thought me in the book "Marriage: God's Rules Of Engagement." 

https://www.createspace.com/4309313

http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417633917&sr=1-1&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement

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Friday 5 December 2014

Cultivating Joy In A Season Of Thanksgiving

Last week Sunday was thanksgiving Sunday in my church, it was one of the Sundays when dancing and praise giving to the living God dominates the church service for the day with just very little preaching which is also centered around the topic of thanksgiving. And for me personally I always dedicate my entire December month to praising God. So my prayer times in Decembers are always dominated by personal worship and praises. I try hard to make very little request during my prayers and just praise God for all He has helped me and my family through in the course of the year.
On the last day of the month of November I was reminded in my spirit that beginning from the next day I am not allowed to skip prayer times and not to forget it was my month of thanksgiving. But I am sure you'll wonder why I needed to be reminded again in my spirit when I should actually be in the full thanksgiving spirit even in the month of November. Well, in truth, I am going through some financial challenges in recent times and that has caused a heaviness in my spirit. There are some projects staring me in the face that I am trusting God for financial breakthroughs for in order to accomplish these goals. Debts to be paid and bills to settle, commitments to meet up with, goals set waiting to be accomplished. So these are reasons why my heart is heavy and my spirit a little low.
But with all these said, it's still my month of thanksgiving and I will be rubbing myself of great joy if this sting of heaviness is allowed to linger for a moment longer. So I began to make efforts with my night vigils and worship hours, it seemed a struggle to thank God with so much needs and deadlines staring me in the face. But the secret to my breakthrough is hidden in my ability to look beyond the needs of my life and my deadlines and praise God and give him the worship that is due to Him.
One honest truth is that God has been faithfully good to me. He has restored my marriage, restored my dignity, removed shame and reproach from my life and has provided for most of the things I have asked of Him. But then just at this time, things are not going for me the way I expect and want them to go and it has become very easy for me to forget all that God had done in my life in the recent past.
But I bless the living God that even though things are not looking too good at the moment, yet the Lord has been very good to me. As I made frantic effort to praise God in my season of thanksgiving, I was reminded of how the Lord delivered me of another baby boy in the month of April, how He provided for the minor renovation I needed done in my apartment, how He provided for me and my husband in meeting the various needs of our children, how He has prevented me and my family from any form of infirmity even when my country went through and escaped the treat of Ebola, how I and my family are preserved from terrorist treat that is facing some part of my country. That I and my family are able to sleep and wake up in safety and not to forget my husband's promotion that came for him in his office. And I can just go on about the faithfulness of God that is so easily forgotten in the face of the prevailing challenges of my present moment.
So I began to remind myself of these wonderful things God has done in my life and thank Him, worshiping Him for His awesomeness, His unconditional love for me despite the fact that at the moment things are not looking so good. The truth is that they were once looking good and will yet look good again if I can just exercise a little faith.
About a month ago I met an old school mate that I had not seen in about 23years. I needed a favour from her and she readily assisted me, so we rekindled our friendship. One day she called to ask me how I was doing and I had loads to say about having to be a wife and mother of four all at once. She had a good job, or so I think and I feel she has no worries in life. She is single with no children, so for me no cares to worry about. But in the middle of our conversion, she told me she would give anything to be in my shoes. She longs to have a family of her own, a good husband and promising children. Yet what my friend is longing for is what I have and still take for granted.
The beautiful thing I am discovering is that as I begin to look beyond my challenges and give thanks to God in spite of them, God is taking care of my issues gradually. Those things that have been burdening my heart are been handled by God with no effort at all from me.
I know there are one or two out there who feel they have nothing to be thankful for, but when you look intently around you, there are a lot of people who are trusting God to have what you have and are taking for granted. If are enjoying good health and you feel God is unfair to you because you are still not married, then think about millions of people bedridden fighting for their lives and using their hard earned money to pay their way to good health. If you have something to eat and you feel God is not fair to you because what you had for dinner is not what you long for, then take a break and consider those who have to go to bed hungry. Some communities are hoping that one day the war that has taken over their community will end, yet you sleep in safety and take that for granted.
When you cultivate the habit of thanking God for the blessing you have received, you position yourself for greater blessings. God didn't promise us a life without challenges, but Paul said in Philippians 4:6 that "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayers and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God." One secret of an effective prayer is when it is done with thanksgiving. When you remember to show gratitude for the blessings you have enjoyed from God, asking Him for greater things will not be an issue at all.
Joy is a fruit that is cultivated from an attitude of continuous thanksgiving. It is a virtue that produces peace in ones soul even when life's challenges rear their ugly head. When you learn to give thanks in troubled times, you acknowledge the ability, might and power of God in overcoming that challenge. And this acknowledgement strengthens your faith in God which in turn moves Him to act swiftly on your behalf. That is what I have learnt, and I am beginning to practice as I experience God moving in my situation.


Disputes in marriages are inevitable, but when they are not handled properly and taken care of early enough, they degenerate into very serious issues in marriage. I have heard of minor disputes leading to very serious violence in marriages. In some cases it has led to spouses killing each other. Is that little argument worth dying for? Is your husband a violent man or your wife a quarrelsome wife? Learn how to handle dispute in your marriage and enjoy the lasting peace of God in your home from my book "Marriage: God's Rules Of Engagement." Available on createspace.com via this link https://www.createspace.com/4309313 or on amazon.com via this link http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417633917&sr=1-1&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement



Wednesday 3 December 2014

Marriage: God's Rules Of Engagement

Hello beautiful people of God, I really do apologize for the time-out in sharing blog articles. Didn't realize that having to write a book really takes so much energy and time, I have written about 6 books but editing and making them read-friendly is a load of work. But I bless God for His grace. I have been busy working on the book "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement". In my blog today I will be discussing about this book.
Much of the content of my blog articles have been on various topics relating to marriage. My focus on marriage is based on the conviction that if we are able to give God the free play in our marriages and homes obeying His commands and instructions for a successful marriage, then we are directly giving Him the free play in our society at large. A decay in the home front will invariably translate to a decay in the larger society in just a matter of time.
A man who is at peace in his home is more effective in his work than a man living in a chaotic home. So it's just a matter of time for the ripple effects of what is taking place in our various homes to be felt in the larger community. So with the inspiration from the Holy Spirit and in the spirit of been a tool in the hands of God, I share of my experience and how God has helped me through a challenging marriage to encourage others who might be going through a challenging marital issue.
There are a lot books on shelves in book stores, both online and in stores that deals with marriage, but the book "Marriage: God's Rule Of Engagement" addresses the various challenges of marriage not just from the practical perspective, but from real life experiences. You are reading a book written by one who has been through a similar experience as you are going through and has been able to overcome the challenge and thus sharing with you the possibility that you can actually overcome that marital challenge that you have. This is not a book on the theory of how marriage works, but how it is possible to use the active word of God to overcome the marital challenge you have and help you build a peaceful and beautiful home that God has assigned you to build.
Marriage, like I always say, is not to be endured but enjoyed and the secret to that truth is what I guarantee you'll find in this book. When I was going through my various marital challenges, I felt God was unfair to me. My world felt collapsed around me and all that was coming to my head was to get a divorce and a better life either alone or with another man, until I was able to run to God for help. The lessons I learnt in the process that has brought about a beautiful turn around in my marriage are the truths that I share in this book. No divorce, no separation, the same husband and man, yet better result and a beautiful home to show for it.
Some major highlight topics in this book include: 1) True life stories of challenges faced in marriage and practicable ways of handling them with backup scriptures from the Bible, 2)The making of a life partner, 3) Handling external interference in marriage, 4) polygamy, 5) The purpose of love in marriage, 6) The rules for the man and wife in marriage, 7) Arranged marriage and it's effects, 8) Handling disputes in marriage and so much more. I guarantee this is a power packed book that has blessed me beyond measure. It is a must have for all couples and intending couples.
A few people who have read this book have testified to it's impact in their lives. This is a book I would love to offer for free as a token from me, but because there are bills to pay, the need to place a price on it is inevitable. The book is available on createspace.com via this link: https://www.createspace.com/4309313, or on amazon.com via this link: http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417633917&sr=1-1&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement. For every print copy purchased, you get a kindle copy for free.
Please don't keep this news to yourself, tell a friend to tell a friend about this book. It will be a good act in helping a friend overcome a troubled marriage. 

Thursday 20 November 2014

The Joy Of A Housewife

Going through my  blogger dashboard, I realized that it's been over five weeks since I last shared a post on my blog, and I sincerely apologize for the unintended break. But even during the break, I am still actively working for God. And I bless God for the lives of all those who take out time to read my post.
My post today will be on the joy of being a housewife. A couple of days ago I went for the Parents-Teachers Association meeting in my daughter's school. It was the first of such meeting I was attending because she is new in the school. While at the meeting the parents were asked to introduce themselves for recognition, as there was scheduled to be an election for the new PTA executives. So when it was my turn to introduce myself I gave my name, and my occupation as HOUSEWIFE. Those were the information we were asked to give.
When I introduced myself as a housewife, everyone in the hall cheered. There was clapping of hands by almost everyone in the hall. The side talk being, "what a boldness to introduce oneself as a housewife." I could have introduced myself as a businesswoman, because I get to do some petty trading when the opportunity presents itself. I could have introduced myself as an Indie Author, cause I have about six books I am working on at the moment. Trying to edit them and make sure they are friendly to read. I could have introduced myself as someone who blogs, that's what I am doing at the moment and people make loads of money blogging, although I am not yet doing that.
But I chose to introduce myself as a housewife, because that's why I reap a large chunk of my satisfaction from. Being a mother and a wife is my first assignment from God and it's what gives me the most joy. Unlike what quite a number of people believe, it is the most tedious of all task a woman can ever be faced with, if she has to deliver very good products that the larger community will benefit from. If you want to have a home that gives your husband joy and the willingness to always return to after each day of work, then you will have your hands very busy from the very early hours of the day, till late night.
So that you'll appreciate what I am trying to put across, let me give you a rundown of my typical day. My alarm wakes me up by 5a.m, I then say my prayers and wake my daughter up to prepare for school. Her school bus picks her up by 6a.m, and by then I would have ensured that she is ready for school and has taken a slit breakfast. Once she leaves, I do a little chores, like clean left over dishes, air the cloths that has been washed in the washing machine over the night and then wake my other two boys up to prepare them for school. I'll drive them to school by 7.45a.m and by then I would have ensured that my husband has all that he needs to get ready for work which includes his morning tea.
When I return from taking my two boys to school, it's time to take care of my 7months old baby. I'll feed him, give him a bath, when dressed, he is ready for another round of morning sleep. I get done with this by about 10a.m, and to my relieve, my house keeper resumes work. You'll probably think that with the presence of a housekeeper I'll rest, but not so fast. That is the time to power on my computer and either write a blog or edit a book. In between, I am on the phone solving extended family issues and running errands for my husband as I double as his personal assistant. My mother calls or she wants me to do something for her urgently. The demand never ends. I run this course till about 3p.m and then it's time to pick the children from school. Once that is done everything else slows down cause my attention is required by all four children almost at the same time. We run through their school's homework, make sure they take lunch and I then have settle pockets of fight between them. If I am lucky, I get about an hour of sleep in between. Then it's time to make dinner. Dinner cooked, and it's time for the daily Bible study. I ensure they take their night bath and its time for bed. Before now my husband would have been back from work so I'll need to be available to hear the rundown of how his day went at work. So by the time we are through with our discussion and I have taken care of all four children including my 7months old baby, it's about 10p.m. I try make out another hour or two for my blog and books and so I get to sleep at about 12midnight. 5days out of the 7days of the week this is how my time is spent.
I am so sorry to bore you with the breakdown of my typical day activities, but in truth, this explains why I cannot feel ashamed to tell the world that I am a housewife. It is my duty to ensure that my children are up and well. To know about any happening in their lives and ensure that they grow well by the grace of God. It is my duty to know about a cut on their skin and treat it, observing it till it heals, to make sure their flu is treated and they see the doctor when the need arise. My duty still to ensure that they grow with the right values and Christ is impressed in their lives. My duty still to be a wife to my husband, a shoulder to lean on for him, a listening hear to his complains, share his joys and pains with him, share his worries with him. My duty to pray and fast for him and my children.
It is my duty to ensure that there is ample supply of what we need in the house: food, drinks, cereal, milk, beverages, toiletries etc. Then I am to know that all the pipes are working well and that a broken pimp is fixed. Not necessarily by me, but I need to be sure that every aspect of my home is running well.
One beautiful thing about my job as a housewife is that I am never on vacation. My children take breaks from school, my husband takes leave from work to rest, but I am never on leave, neither am I on holiday even though my work can be stressful and demanding.
But there is a big joy in what I do. The satisfaction that I can watch my children grow well under my care and that I am striving towards giving the society quality citizens that will impact the lives of others positively is a joy to me. That I can share my wisdom with my husband and share in his wisdom such that it is impacting on his work life positively is big joy to me. And will there be a reward for the big task that I engage in? Yes there will be. The Lord who sees what I do in secret will surely reward me in the open.
My husband often passes a comment, he says "Derin, a lot of people see you glow and say your husband is taking care of you. If only they know that you take care of me the more, cause I am who I am today because of the strength with which you support me." This is my joy for being a housewife. This is what keeps me going, it is what makes me want to do more than I am doing at the moment.
The Proverbs 31:10-31 wife is not a joke at all, it is not for lazy hands. But the Lord has truly built the wife of noble character to be all that. When you learn to draw strength from God, you will surely put that strength to work in your life and home and you will in no time be called by the name "a wife of noble character." Then you will not be ashamed to tell the world that you are a housewife with your head held up high.    
In closing I wish to go on a holiday too. Trusting God for that, and yes I was made an executive member of the Parents-Teacher Association in my children's school just as I am a housewife with joy.

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