Thursday 14 January 2016

Is it Possible For Them to Get Back Together?

Matthew 19:7-9
“Why then,” they said, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

1 Corinthian 7:10-11
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A woman must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Malachi 2:16
“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty.

I bless the Lord for the gift of a new day and a new opportunity to share His word to many wonderful people who have been and will always be blessed by the truth of God’s words shared on this blog. May the Lord never cease to always bless your homes in Jesus Name.
We have been receiving insight from God through His word in the Bible to help us build a wonderful home and enjoy a peaceful and beautiful marital life. But I trust the Lord to help do more than that in the lives of many. I trust God to help us rebuild broken homes and reconcile broken marriages. And because I know and believe that there nothing is impossible for God to do, I know that this one longing of my heart will receive answers from God in Jesus Name.
Some days back I spoke to a friend’s sister who had been separated from her husband for well over six months. Initially it started as a fight that eventually led to a separation and hoping that with time these two will miss each other and find their way back into each other’s arms the people around them let things rest. But when I heard that after about seven months there seem to be no hope for reconciliation, I decided to call the wife who happens to be the one I know to find out exactly what the problem is.
She told me so many stories beginning with how she met her husband and how he deceived her into marrying him. But according to her that was a long gone issue, but the recurring problem between them that she could not cope with was the fact that her husband was a laid back person who was not ready to do much in terms earning income but would rather she does all the work while he keeps spending the money. He would not take care of the financial needs of the family and she had absolutely no idea of how much he earns as income and how he spends his money. She also complained of his low moral values and the fact that he sleeps with almost every woman he meets. His low life attitude is so bad that he sleeps with her staffs who work for her in her hair salon. So all these put together, forms the reason why she worked out of the marriage and was not ready to go back into it. In fact she was thanking God she was finally out of the bondage called marriage that she has found herself in.
So many people would probably conclude that she has every reason by human standard to take a walk from the pathetic man called husband that she married and begin to live a better quality life rather than slave for a man who does not appreciate her. But before we conclude so, it’s important to search the mind of God objectively on the matter and know the will of God for this woman and many other husbands or wives out there that are about to be EXed (divorced) for good reasons based on human standard.
For those with marital issues, whether you are already separated or divorced or about to be, I pray that the Lord will sow a seed of positive change in that situation and life will be restored in your marriage and the glory of the latter years of your marriage will surpass the former in Jesus Name.
So we search the mind of God and see what He tells us from His word. I started this blog post with some Bible passages revealing the mind of God on the issue of divorce, and from what we see God say about divorce or even separation, it’s a complete NO NO from God. Divorce was not in the mind of God and still not on His mind. “I hate divorce” says the Lord God of Israel. Jesus went on to tell us that divorce came into being as a result of the hardness of the heart of man. So if the heart of man was not hard but forgiving, divorce will never be in existence. So if I am not going to sound judgmental (which I am trying not to be), divorce is only for those whose hearts are hard.
For those who feel wronged by their spouses and are either divorced or about to be, forgiveness and reconciliatory moves does not make you a weakling, rather it shows the high level of reverence and love you have for God and it depicts the fact that you are a child of God. Matthew 5:43-45 reads, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous. If you consider your spouse as your enemy that you should divorce, the Lord Jesus says rather than hate your enemy, you should pray for them. So rather than hate your spouse so much that you want a divorce you should pray for him/her.
I always tell people when we get to have marriage talks that you cannot change your spouse by mere talking to them. Your complains, naggings, quarrels and fights cannot make that man or woman become what you want them to be. I do not mean that you cannot express yourself politely, but there is more to changing a man than complaining, nagging, fighting them or making quarrels. Consider approaching God in prayers on behalf of your spouse over that attitude or characteristics they possess that does not please you. Then follow up that prayer with good attitude and love, and for the wife, follow it up with submission and politeness. It is just a matter of time for you to start to see the changes in them that pleases you. For as long as the change you desire in your spouse is a Godly trait you can be sure that the Lord will make it happen even through you without a fight or quarrel.
If in the case that your spouse has committed adultery and is marital unfaithful to you, have you tried praying for such a spouse that the Lord who is able to make all things new, deliver him/her from the evils of fornication and adultery and make him/her a new person. Then find a place in your heart to forgive, rather than use the words of Jesus to fan the flames of the hardness of your heart which leads to a divorce. We have all sinned at one time in our marriages and we expect to be forgiven, now rather than be the one to be forgiven why not be the one to forgive.
Genesis 2:18 reads, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.’”As a wife you are God’s divine helper in the life of your husband. The helper provided by God even when he is misbehaving and missing the call of God on his life. You are the mercy of God for his life to help restore him back to God’s will for his life, yet this wife is the one calling for a divorce from the husband she has been assigned to help over issues that she has been assigned to help him overcome and win victory over. Wanting a divorce amounts to you as a wife telling God you cannot do the assignment which He has given you to do. With all of these as God’s plan for the man and his wife we can understand why God says “He hates divorce.” 
Now if you cannot carry out this assignment of being a helper to your husband successfully, how can you prove to God that if He gives you to another man to help you can carry out that assignment successfully. So God says through Paul that if you have to divorce as a result of the hardness of your heart then you should remain unmarried or be reconciled to your husband. 
Proverbs 19:14 reads, Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. As a man, at the point of marrying your wife you had considered her a gift from God in your life, and you are not far from the truth because Solomon says a prudent wife is from the Lord. But when she began to show traits that you did not expect from the wife that God gave you did you bother to take her case back to God who gave her to you as a wife for Him to make the necessary adjustment in her life while you still continue to show her love as the Lord has instructed you to, or did you just throw her like a piece of rubbish out of your life and strolled to the law court for a certificate of divorce? Now again we can understand why God says “He hates divorce.” That piece of rubbish you just divorced or about to divorce is God’s favour for your life. Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from God.” Can you prove to God and justify the fact that if He provides another favour for you in the form of a prudent wife you will not throw her out of your life again when she makes mistakes one too many times like you did the first?
Understand this very carefully when/if God sees that your husband or wife has gotten so way out of control that he/she cannot be tamed by God and that He does through you when you obey His rules for marriage, He will call him/her home and assign another helper to you as a wife or provide another head for you as a husband (Read 1 Samuel 25: the story of Abigail and Nabal). It is only through death which is from God that a marriage covenant can be broken not by you obtaining a divorce.     
In closing, I am sure you will not be surprised if I tell you that the advice I gave the young lady whose story I shared at the beginning was to go and pray for her husband until the Lord causes a change in his life. Her separation would not solve the problem and if she wants to please God, then she is not permitted to marry another man other than be reconciled to her husband. I pray by the special grace of God that testimonies will abound as a reason of this blog post and marriages that otherwise were dead will rise again to the glory of God alone in Jesus Name. 

Monday 11 January 2016

The Responsibility of Raising Children, How is it shared Among Couples?

Genesis 18:18-19
Since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him. For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken.

Ephesians 6:4
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Yeah it’s another beautiful day in God’s grace and goodness and for the gift of the breath of life that we have today, we bless God abundantly. Thanking Him who is our ever sure supply for the grace to share His word again today. I pray that lives and homes will be blessed in Jesus Name.
In looking at some very common avenues in which the devil can attempt to penetrate our marriage and steal our joy, we will be trusting God for a word on the issue of raising our children. Proverbs 22:6 says “Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.” There are two things I am believing God to open up our hearts to in this blog post, and the first is: who holds the higher responsibility in training a child between the father and the mother, and secondly what direction should the training of our children take.
In the world today, the way and manner in which responsibilities are shared in the home is that the husband going out to work and earn income, while the wife stays home to care for and train the children. And so there are instances whereby the fathers do not get involved at all or have very minimal contribution in the training of the children, other than making available funds to meet their financial needs. So it is easy to blame the mother when things go wrong with the children because it is assumed that she is the one staying at home to train them.
With the new economic downturn that has seen the wife also having to hustle to make ends meet as it is almost impossible for the husband alone to financially provide for the family, we have the wives overburdened with the task of making money, yet caring for and training the children. And in cases where the wife cannot cope, she unburdens the caring for and training of the children to the housemaid. This has in turn created all sorts of child abuse and ill-mannered children that we have in the world today.
So it’s important to have a Biblical understanding of who owns what responsibility when it comes to training our children. I also want us to bear in mind that for every assignment given to man by God, He demands an account (Genesis 9:5).
From what God said concerning Abraham that he is expected to command his children and his entire household to keep the way of the Lord and to do righteousness and justice, and also the word of Paul to the fathers in Ephesians 6:4 which says "bring up his children in the training and admonition of the Lord," answers our two major questions that it’s the father who owns the primary responsibility to train his children and he is to train them in the way of the Lord and for this responsibility on his life, he will give account.
Contrary to the tradition that is in play in this generation, the Lord expects that the father/husband commands and instructs his children and even his household which includes his wife in the way of the Lord. But caring for the children is the responsibility of the mother/wife. From the qualities of a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-31, we will understand that the wife/mother is burdened with the responsibility of caring for her children and entire household which includes the husbands, while the husband/father is holding the responsibility of issuing commands and training the children and the entire household in the way of the Lord. And in reality, the husband is the ideal and effect person to train the children as his instructions are seen to carry more weight.
But when it comes to the training of the children the mother also has a role to play. She is her husband's suitable helper, divinely provided by God to assist him in every area of his life and assignment that God has placed on his life and that includes the training of their children. So what I am understanding and sharing now is that the man holds the primary assignment to train the children in the way of the Lord while the wife is provided by God to assist him in this assignment.
With this very well understood, it should no longer be the trend that the mother will be solely held responsible for the bad behavior of the child while the father is exonerated of any fault. Rather both the father and mother should realize their lapses in training their children with the husband feeling more of the burden on the issue because he holds the responsibility to train his children.

In closing I will point out that mothers have more influence on their children and with this comes the need for them to lead by example. When the mother is implementing the commands and instructions of her husband in her life and the children are seeing her do that effectively, it becomes a step easier for her to enforce the father's instructions in the home. And most importantly is that the father as the head of the home leads by example also. Then the children will do as they do and not do just as they say. May God bless and replenish our homes and shine down on our children in Jesus Name. 

Thursday 7 January 2016

Understanding Sex and Emotion In Marriage

1 Corinthians 7:3-5
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except for mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 

In today’s post I believe the Lord wants me to share on an interesting topic that a lot of people always want to hear about, and it is a very important and significant element of marriage. And this topic is on sex in marriage. I have noticed that sex in marriage is becoming a trending gist on social media and I have received quite a lot of voice and video messages on my phone that has dealt with the issue of sex. About three years ago when I first wrote a blog post on the topic of sex I got the most number of page-views from that post and then I realized that really people are eager to have this topic discussed.
But for this blog post today, I trust the Lord to help us understand and be able to deal with the relationship between our emotions, whether anger, hatred, love, joy, excitement, happiness and our sex life. I am tempted to believe that when either the wife or husband is not happy with his/her spouse, it is most likely that sex between them will be a non-issue. Also it will be difficult for a wife who is not happy with her husband to willing submit her body to him for sex and if she attempts to out of a sense of duty it will be most assuredly a miserable experience.I have heard a lot of women say that if they ever discover their husband is committing adultery then they can never allow such a man access to their bodies again.
I am also tempted to believe that most men don’t attach emotions to sex and so it’s not going to be a serious issue if the husband, though not happy with his wife but he still able to have sex with her (I might be wrong on this as I am not a man). But this cannot be generalized in the case of all men. So I am tempted to conclude that sex and emotions are closely knit together. And this explains why it is unhealthy for a man and his wife to have prolonged disputes as this will affect their sex life and since sex and nature are also intertwined then we have cases of either party going outside their marriage to obtain the sexual satisfaction that their body yearns for. This ultimately leads to great sin.
Now that I have been able to struggle through identifying the problem, I trust the Lord to help us through a solution. Since everything God made is beautiful, all of His ideas are unmatchable and they are there for us to enjoy as the Lord has declared this to us in Jeremiah 29:11, so how marriage is designed by God for us to enjoy and not endure, and also sex in marriage is God’s idea for the man and his wife to enjoy and feel a sense of warmth, love and oneness and not manage through the act.
So these are some of the things I will advise when you are faced with this kind of situation; when you are angry with your spouse and your spouse is showing you signs that he/she would love that you both make love, first try to understand that whatever is the cause of the issue that is making you angry or causing the hatred you feel only affects you and not your spouse and in that case you need to quickly deal with the issue within you and move on. Don’t bother to wait for a verbal apology; the interest shown by the longing for sex with you should be sign enough to you that your spouse is sorry.
Also you can do a quick internal prayer that the Lord would help you overcome whatever it is that bothering your mind and get in the right mood for a passionate love making with your husband. Don’t be embarrassed to pray about such, because God is not embarrassed answering you that request. And by the time you get in the right mood with your husband/wife every other issue bothering your mind fades away. And again I will say never allow a dispute to last longer than necessary, give it the shortest possible life span and free yourselves of the burden of anger and hatred that can possibly plague and injure your marriage.
It’s natural to have a mix of sex and emotion, but when the emotion begins to overpower the sex in the negative then you need to prayerfully make a conscious effort at reversing the trend. If sex with you souse is subject to you feeling happy and good, then ensure that you are always feeling happy and good so that your emotions does not affect your duty to your spouse as the Lord demands that you do not deprive each other. If as a wife you have come to the understanding that your husband’s mood determines his sex drive, please ensure at all cost that you make him happy, if possibly you should prayerfully do so. And if as a husband you have come to realize that showing love to your wife and pampering her helps her sex drive, please prayerfully try not to let the love lack.
Intentionally depriving your spouse of sex just to get at him/her for a wrong done is something that does not have God’s approval. The 1 Corinthians 7:5 says “Do not deprive each other except for mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.” So prayer is the only excuse for a couple to abstain from sex and it should have mutually agreed by both and only for a time. Depriving each other of sex as a form of vengeance is a sin, since it does not have the consent of God. Forgive one another of any wrong done and move on with the good health of your marriage as a goal to be achieved by the two who has become one in flesh and spirit. God will be the judge of any wrong done and will make appropriate sentencing if and when necessary.  May the Lord bless our homes.     

Wednesday 6 January 2016

Your Marriage And Money

Hello beautiful people of God, I trust that the Lord who is always faithful is keeping you safe under His divine watch to protect you and yours and make you flourish in the land of the living. My prayer is that there will always be a timely word from God for a life that needs it on a daily basis on this blog in Jesus Name. So I am trusting God that daily there will be something tangle and relevant from God through this blog everyday of this year for a life and marriage needing it. So I plead with you to always put me in your prayers for the spirit of fervency, consistency and diligent and to always expect to hear from God daily through this blog for a word to bless your life and marriage in Jesus Name.
There are a lot of things the devil can possibly use to destabilize your marriage and one that is most often used by him is money. That element called money has been the root cause of break-ups or break-downs of many marriages. And just like the stories shared in my previous post, we can see the extent to which money has caused grievous damage in promising lives and homes. It is true that money answers all things but the fact remains that not all monies answers all things because money gotten outside of God is also the root of all evil.
In today’s blog we will look at the relationship that exists between marriage and money. How income should be generated and expended. Who should be generating the money for the running of the home and what control does each spouse have over the family income. And I trust the Lord to help us have a clear understanding of His will for our marriages when it comes to the issue of money.  


1 Timothy 5:8
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

2 Thessalonians 3:10
Foe even when we were with you, we gave you this rule; “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.”

Proverbs 31:13-19
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trade trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 


The passages above are the basis of our discussion in this post. A lot of women are with the mindset that only the husband should provide for the home and even if they get to work, their income is theirs alone and not for family use. So to say that their husbands do not have any control or say over what they earn as income. Some other category of women believe that all their needs should be provided for by their husbands. And they make their husbands look so much like a failure if he is unable to meet up with the never ending requests of the wife not to mention the children.
And just like the stories shared in my previous post, we have some men who sit and do close to nothing in form of serious work just because they are rest assured that their wives are earning good income and so they don’t need to worry. This category of men live off their wives and they are just okay that way. They depend on their wives for money and if for any reason she is unable to meet up with their never ending demands she becomes a bad wife and in some cases they get violent and beat up the favour of God for their lives (their wives).
But from what the Bible is revealing to us in the passages above, both men and women who have this mindsets are wrong. The culture or tradition they have imbibed in their homes and marriages is totally faulty and not of God. 


Jeremiah 17:5-8
This is what the Lord says:
Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no-one lives.
But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.   

God does not desire that a husband or a wife depends solely on the other spouse for a means of livelihood or sustenance. The Lord expects that each of them will engage in work in order to generate income. It is very right that God expects a man to take care of his relatives and especially his immediate family, but God also expects that the wife will engage in work also to generate income to provide for the family.
I always marvel and the foresight of the living God; in today’s generation we hear this common saying that every family needs a multiple stream of income in order to be financially stable, yet this had been the design of God right from the time He originated marriage. There is always a time down in the life and finances of everyone that God has created and God knowing this has provided a help for the man in his wife to absorb any shock of challenge whenever necessary and that includes those times when the husband is financially down. So when the husband and wife are both generating income for the family and with God as their anchor, there won’t be a time when there will be a severe financial crisis in their home and cases of husband beating up his wife as a result of lack of money will not arise.
Again and again the Lord has opened up our hearts to the importance of submission from a wife to her husband. Ephesians 5 says a wife should submit to the husband in everything and that includes the submission of money. Although I am totally against a man bullying money out of his wife, yet the Bible says to the wife SUBMIT. When I praying wife faithfully obeys her husband and commits the situation that she is in into the hands of God then she can be sure that when a husband forces money out of his wife and does not spend same in a judicious manner, that husband is answerable to God, and the wife can be sure that there is nothing she can do to her husband that can supersede what God will do to him in vengeance for the injustice that he has done to her. But you have to obey first and let God handle the rest. 
For the man who is not taking care of his wife like he should is dancing in the possible wrath of God. If you as a man expect that your wife uses her income to take care of the needs in the home while you spend your money not providing for your family but on frivolous activities, then you are toying with God's anger. 1 Peter 3:7 says "that your prayers may not be hindered."  
I have been blessed by the revelation of God’s word shared today, and I trust that you are leaving this post with a valuable lesson on who to source income in the family and how to utilize that income. As you put to use what you have learned here, I am hopeful that God will bless your home immeasurably.    

Tuesday 5 January 2016

How Did I Get Myself Into this Mess Called Marriage

It’s just by grace that we are privileged to be among those who will see the beginning of another year. One truth about the fact that we are still alive is that we are still relevant in God’s plan, we still have a purpose to fulfill for God, there is an assignment from God for our lives that is yet to be fulfilled and I pray that we will not leave the face of the earth without emptying ourselves of that which God has deposited in us for use on earth. I also pray that by the special grace of God, this time next year we will gather together to celebrate God’s goodness. None of us shall be missing.
So the time for rest and holidaying is over and we are back to work. And for us in God’s business, it’s time to kick start the year. And I trust the Lord that His word will not be scarce on this blog site, and more lives will be touched by the messages that comes from the throne of God through this blogsite in Jesus name.
In the course of the holidays I was in touch with a friend of mine that I seldom get in touch with and she told me how she has been using the messages that from this blog to bless many lives. As we chatted on several issues; we discussed about marriages and she forwarded several stories of abuse in marriages in different forms and degree to me, and sincerely I realized that there is so much still to be said and done to assist couples as they strive for better marital lives and experience. I pray that the Lord will use me in doing great things in the homes and marriages of many people in Jesus Name.
Some of the stories my friend shared with me included wives whose husbands married them just because they had money and they are the ones paying their husband’s bills and not the other way round. Any attempt by the wives not to make available funds to their husbands on request or demand was accompanied by abuse of different forms including physical abuse such as beating. In some other cases the husband will start to give negative report about the wife saying she is unfaithful to her marriage vows.
One instance that sounds so interesting was that the said wife had exhausted all her income and savings on her husband and when the man realized there was no money left he asked her to go sell her parents belonging and bring the money to him. And when she refused he walked out of the marriage.
 Another story of abuse saw the husband beating the wife to death all because she had no money to give him. Another case of marriage abuse led to the separation of the husband and the wife with the wife going back to beg the husband and having to give up on her career for her husband.
These are stories that I trust the Lord to help us find solutions to and hope and pray that people will similar problems such as this or if possible those whose stories have been shared will read this and get a lasting solution to their marital problem.
First I want to sympathize with wives experiencing such intense abuse in marriage such as this, but still I will say that this problem is there because their marriages were built or established on a wrong foundation. I am tempted to say that these people got married for the very wrong reasons. God will not place His beloved ones in harm’s way in the name of getting married. People who have gotten married out of desperation or in the name of love without divine consultation with God before entering into marriage are most prone to the kind of stories I have shared above. But nonetheless, whatever the marriage situation you are in at the moment, it is not beyond the ability of God to remedy and making a beautiful end out of the mess called marriage that you have as long as you are wise enough to run to Him and drop your mess at His feet.
Nobody can help you in this kind of mess but Jesus. Nobody can bring about the change in the life of your husband except the Lord who made him. Proverbs 21:1 says “The king’s heart is in the hands of God; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.”  If anyone tells you your husband will change outside the touch of Christ he/she is only lying to you, only the Lord can direct the heart of your husband as He pleases. And if anybody tells you your husband cannot change and the best and safe thing to do is to leave the marriage, they are also lying to you. And so again I’ll trust the Lord to help us find a lasting and beautiful solution to this problem.
As a wife the first thing is to recognize that your husband has a problems and he requires your help. It’s not by draining yourself financially and dumping your life savings at his feet to waste away as he likes, that you’ll be helping him, but by genuinely running to God on his behalf and seeking the face of God to make him the ideal responsible husband who is not lazy but diligent at his work and able to provide for his family as the Lord has destined him to be. A man who will work diligently and take care of his family rather than being lazy and bullying his wife into meeting his frivolous wants.
In Genesis 2:18-25, we read and understand that a wife is the suitable helper placed in the life of a man as God’s divine provision for the man in times when he needs help. So a man who is abusive to his wife and an extortionist rather than a protector of his wife is a man who obviously needs help. He needs help to overcome his abusive life style and he needs help in the area of laziness. And from the revelation of the Bible his wife is God’s ordained help for his life even in this area of his need.
A woman married to such a man like this needs wisdom, prayers and understand. This woman first needs to run to the throne of God and remain there. This wife needs to ensure that she has truly established a relationship with Jesus Christ and she lives a righteous and holy life before the Lord, then she will be able to approach the throne of God on behalf of her husband and marriage and be sure that she will get an answer. As she continues to stand in the gap for her husband in prayer and faith, it is just a matter of time for her to begin to enjoy the beautiful results that she has always yearned for.
As she listens to God and obeys His word for her life and that of her husband and marriage, she will learn to submit to her husband even though he has issues. 1 Peter 3:1-3 says that if a wife is married to an unbelieving husband, it is through the purity and reverence of her life that the husband will be won over to God. Your attitude towards your husband is a tool in the hands of God in bringing about the change in him that you desire. Even when you have to decline your husband’s request on his never ending demands for money, do it will politeness and reverence rather than being confrontational or sound insulting. Proverbs 15:1 says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” So even in your refusal, try and be gentle. Your presentation matters a lot.
I mentioned earlier that those who marry out of desperation or out of love rather than divine consultation with God before getting married are more prone to this kind situation, but this is not limited to those who married for the wrong reasons. But running out your marriage is not a solution, running to God and learning to trust Him to help you handle your marital mess is a surer and lasting solution that will give you peace of mind and you will enjoy the beauty of marriage as God intends it to be. May the Lord bless your homes in Jesus Name.

Tuesday 7 April 2015

After Many Years The Dream Is Coming True

A very beautiful day to the beautiful people of God and I hope you had a beautiful Easter celebration. May Jesus continually be alive in our lives daily as we live to please God everyday of our lives.
Managing a website and a blogsite concurrently can be a big task with the added responsibilities of being a wife and a mother with additional assignment of been a pen in God's hands in writing life changes books as the Lord desires to meet the needs of His people and have them walk blamelessly and uprightly before Him. So I beg you to please bear with me if I am unable to share a post everyday, I trust God to at least give me grace to share His word three times within a week. All blog posts are also available on http://www.thewordthatsuits.com/ in addition to other inspiring articles that I trust the Lord will bless your life and calm your nerves and you trust God to lift you up daily and give you victory in all of your life's challenges.
In today's post I think I will move a little off core marriage issues and try to discuss something else of equal interest. Less than two weeks ago the presidential election held in my very own dear country Nigeria. It was adjudged by most people as free and fair, and based on my own conclusion it reflected the will of the masses. But all these  is not of serious interest to me, the lesson I learned in the outcome of that election was the determined, diligent persistence of the now president-elect of the country. This man had contested the presidential election in Nigeria four consecutive times and only emerging the winner on the fourth attempt. And so for twelve years, every four years, he puts himself up as a candidate and prepares better after every failed attempt for the next attempt, and finally on the fourth attempt he got it right.
Proverbs 12:24 says "Diligent hands rule, but laziness ends in slave labour." Based on the English dictionary, diligent is defined as the following: 1) constant in effort to accomplish something, 2) attentive and persistent in doing anything, 3) done or pursued with persevering attention; painstaking. When we look at what the Bible says in Proverbs 12:24 and the definition of the word diligent, what I can make of it is that if you want to attain that level of rulership in your desired dream, then you must be ready try and keep trying with persevering attention until you get to your goal. A confirmed loser is one who gave up on his/her dream with achieving the set goal.
How far a man will go in life is determined by how much painstaking effort he is ready and willing to put into the pursuits of his dream not minding the amount of times he fails or falls. For every time you meet with an obstacle in the pursuit of your dream, the more your increase and improve effort for the next attempt, correcting the errors of the previous attempt and improving on the tactics and techniques to be employed in the next attempt.
I have very close people to me who are not very good with risk taking. Once an attempt is made more than once and it has failed then that is a no go area of them such a pursuit is better dropped than it becomes a waste of resources. In as much as I am against waste, I am also a stubborn purser of a dream or course that I believe in. I don't give up just easily on my dreams and even though I have a pile of dreams and desires yet to be fulfilled, the story of Nigeria's president-elect is a reawakening motivator for me that with persevering attention and determined focus, it is just a matter of time for my dreams to come true for me.
The beauty of my own situation is that I have Christ as my anchor. I have infused my dreams and desires in Him, I have fine-tuned my will into His will for me based on what my Bible teaches me and I know that if I will just hang on much longer I will have the manifestation of what I am hoping for.

Luke 1: 5-7, 13, 36-37
In the time of Herod king of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron. Both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commandments and regulations blamelessly. But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; and they were both well on in years.

But the angel said to him: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayers has been heard. Your wife will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John." 

Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.

I will like to close this article with the miracle in the life of Elizabeth. The Bible tells us that Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth served the Lord and they observed the commandments of God blamelessly till old age while still praying for the gift of a child. They were diligent in service to God in the wake of barrenness. They sought for a child with perseverance and persistence not shifting focus from God but served Him blamelessly.
I can't tell how many years it took for their dreams to come through, but the Bible tells us that in their wait on the Lord for the manifestation of their prayers they had become well on in years. They were already getting old. Another fact about them was that they were already tagged barren, because the angel God sent to Mary told her that even your relative who is said to be barren is in her sixth month.
I don't know what your dreams are and at what level of accomplishment you are at this point in time, I don't know for how long you have been waiting on the Lord for answers to those prayers or how many failed attempt you have recorded in your pursuits, the truth of the matter is that the vision is for an appointed time and even though it may tarry, please wait for it. It will come and will not delay.
The president-elect of my country had three previous failed attempt on the presidency but without giving up on his dreams he is a fulfilled man today. And Zechariah has prayed many years for a child but yet at the appointed time his prayers were heard and answered. So please I beg you to prayerfully not give up on your dreams because diligent hands really does rule.

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