Who Do You Run to When You Have Challenges in Your Marriage?

Hello special people of God. I am glad to be alive and most of all to search the word of God with the aim of finding godly solutions to the many marital challenges that marriages today are facing. When you apply the wisdom of God to any challenge you might be facing, it's just a matter of time for such a challenge to fade away. Nothing works like the wisdom and grace of God.

One of the big issues facing marriages today is the influence and interference of external factors in marriages. Sometimes it gets so bad that some married persons actually rely on friends and relatives to make vital decisions in their marriages. At the slightest misunderstanding with their spouse, they are on the phone calling a friend or relative. Yet they have not even prayed or consulted with God on the matter.

I have come to understand over my years of been married that when God declared that a man will leave father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one, He very well knew what He was talking about. 

One truth is that if you have an argument with your spouse and you report the matter to a third party, the first thing is that you are likely not going to tell the story in a way that will make you out as the bad person. So who ever is going to give you an advice hears just your own side of the story and will not be fully objective in their advice, so in truth you are short changing yourself because you are actually not getting the truth that you deserve.

In the same manner if you report your issues to close relatives, say parents or siblings, they are most likely to take sides with you in the matter because they consider you as their own, irrespective of whether you are wrong or right. This might make you feel good or vindicated in some way, but the big question is: "Does it help your marriage."

Worse of all interference is one that you put your entire marital life on social media and allow faceless people dictate to you how your marriage should be run in the name of advice. The interesting thing in this is that the advice given by this faceless people is one they can't even play out themselves in their own homes, yet they experiment their thoughts on you because you can't make your own decisions and you can kneel to God in prayer and follow His instructions for your life.

I was once in that position where I was so confused about the hard and cruel reality that hit me in my marriage and I would take advice from any and everyone who had something to tell me. All I heard made me angry at my husband the more and we were always at each other's throats in argument. Then I went to see one of those whom I depended on for advice one day and saw her display the direct opposite attitude to what she always told me. It was then I realized that her advice were all a pack of lies, yet I was gullible enough to follow this advice through to the detriment of my own marriage.

I thanked God that I had seen this woman show respect to her husband that day, cause that was the last time I shared  my issues with her.

When God said a man would leave father and mother behind, He had the salvation of your marriage at heart in making that declaration because in truth you really don't need them. When you place your issues before God, He already knows the situation you are in, He knows the two sides of the story, He knows the underlining issues, He knows the motive. He is objective enough to call wrong wrong and to call right right. He alone can tell you and show you how to right the wrong without any error. And the ones you can't handle He'll fix them for you. That to me is the right Person to turn to. And God is the best counselor of all times; very seasoned and extremely accurate. That is where I go to with my many issues and not once have I been disappointed.

With God in your marriage you can't get it wrong. Quit running to people who can't help. They can't do beyond what God permits them to do. Jeremiah 17:5 says cursed is the man who puts his trust in man, don't let your decisions and actions in your marriage be based on advice given by any man, but on the truth of the word of God. When your marriage is in trouble, pray first. If need be the Lord will direct you to the ideal person for you to speak with and such a person will counsel you based on the word of God. If whoever is advising you is not speaking to you based on God's word, then don't apply such advice to your marriage. May the Lord bless your marriages in Jesus name.

Why Let Anyone Snatch Your Husband

Hello beautiful people, a very good and blessed morning to us all in Jesus name. It will be a very blessed day by the special grace of God in Jesus name. Hope we all feel good this morning irrespective of what we are going through. Where you are at now is not the finish line, so please keep moving, the Lord is with you.

Quite a lot of heartwarming responses have been pouring in on this blog, in as much as it makes me feel good, I can’t take all the credit for work done. Writing these messages is just simply the inspiration of God. A lot of times I learn from them as much as you do, and all the time I get to read through some blog post and wonder if I really did write them. But most of all I bless God that these messages are touching lives and blessing marriages and homes; including mine.

So many times you hear women say "that lady/woman snatched my husband and sometimes" it looks like a big misery. If it is possible for a woman to take away what belongs to you, it is simply because she is stronger than you. No thief can come into your house and cart away your goods unless you are out of the house or the thief is heavily armed and powerful enough to overpower you. Other than that it is only a foolish thief ready for death that will come into the house of a strong man to steal his goods. No thief will go into the white house to steal, it’s almost impossible. No thief can enter the Nigerian Presidential villa with robbery on his mind.

In the same manner, no strange woman would have the guts to seduce your husband and lure him to herself unless you are not watchful, paying diligent attention to your God given assignment in the life of your husband and unless you are not a prayer warrior.

Yesterday, I shared a post on the importance of unity in the home; a marriage that is closely knit cannot easily be broken. It is impossible for a lizard to break into a well molded wall except there is a crack on the wall. Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 4:12 that “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” A marriage that is well together and you as a wife have rooted yourself firmly in the life of your husband, fulfilling your God’s given assignment well and are very prayerful, I tell you that your husband will be so consumed by you that he will not have room for another woman in his life.

The solution to this kind of problem or the possibility of it is not about fighting or scaring away every lady that your husband talks to or relates with, the solution is about being the right lady for your husband such that he will not have any need or room for another lady in his life and that can only be achieved by having the right attitude and being prayerful. Know what he wants and give it to him the way he wants it.

If a lady has snatched your husband, it’s because she was able to show him that she has what he needs and you are not giving him yet. Even if he was bewitched, it’s because you are not praying for him and over his life well enough. I do not stand to judge anyone, but I write this as a form of reawakening. You will now gear up for taking back that which was stolen from you. You will pray, you will readdress that issues that needs readdressing, and re-position yourself in preparation to be all that your husband needs and wants in a wife and show God that you are ready to be a suitable wife and helper for your husband and be sure that with prayers your husband will return to you.

I was with a friend one day and she was seeing my husband for the first time. Just after we exchanged greetings and we began to gist she whispered into my ears saying, “You need to be very careful o, your husband is so handsome and if you are not careful, some girls will snatch him from you.” I responded with a smile and told her that I am also too good to be true, if only my husband can find another lady like me in his life on the face of the earth. My impact in the life of my husband cannot be matched by any other woman, so if he looses me honestly it’s going to be a huge lose to him.

Marriage is not supposed to be taken for granted; don’t judge your marriage based on the yardstick of others. If you want it to work, then you need to work hard to make it work. There is a time to sow and a time to reap. Whatever you sow in your marriage is what you reap from it. May the Lord bless our homes and marriages in Jesus name. 

The Secret Tool of Unity In Marriage.

It’s another bright new day and another bright new grace and another bright new mercy and another bright new blessings and it’s just unimaginable how God pulls through with providing all the He knows we need even when we have not asked, not to talk of our never ending requests that come in various shapes and sizes. Indeed God is just awesome. Then before I forget the battles He gets to fight for us that we never even knew existed, and all for one reason and one reason alone, LOVE. No price to pay, no bargain involved, no pay back later, just LOVE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I have often talked about unity in marriage, and sincerely its worth talking about over and over again. Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 4:9 that two are better than one, and then he went ahead to give us reasons to justify his claim and these are pretty true and genuine reasons. Then Jesus said in Matthew 18:19, that if two on earth agrees on anything they ask for, it will be done for us by our Father in heaven. Even God Himself declared that it is not good that man should be alone Genesis 2:18; so there is one very important and effective thing about unity in the home between married couples that destroys the yoke of impossibility and lack in the lives of God’s children.

Without even going scriptural, we will see all around us that when people come together to achieve any set goal, it almost always works. A country that is closely knit together is bound to prosper. An organization that is closely knit together will stand the test of time. The Babylonians of Genesis 11:1-8 were able to go far in their goal of building a tower that reached heaven because they worked as a unified force. Worked stopped and the goal perished only because the Lord scattered their language.

It pains my heart when I hear wives say they cannot pray for their husbands and the husband looks at his wife as a never do good; we fail to understand that the prosperity of our spouse is a great achievement on our person. Yes you might not be a signatory to his/her bank account yet you have achieved must in the sight of God, and achievement of your own goals will not be delayed.

There are stories of spouses helping their partners get to their destinations in life and when there, these partners get carried away by the fortunes that befalls them and forget how they were helped or who helped them to the glorious position they are in. All of a sudden they get consumed in themselves and carry on as though it was their self-effort alone that achieved so much for them. That is why some men feel that when you propel your wife to the top and she becomes a woman of wealth and affluence, she becomes boastful and would not submit to her husband. Also some wives are of the opinion that once their husbands become rich they became adulterous paying less attention to the family that suffered with them.

In as much as these things really happen sometimes with some individuals, the secret in this is that if you are that spouse who has helped (even if all you did was just to pray), this is not the time to get angry or relent. This is the time to gear up for the bigger work. It just tells you that you are not done in your work yet; you still need to carry on the work. You need to pray and fight in the spiritual realm to destroy whatever veil is covering the vision of your partner from seeing and reasoning right.

You can't fight this battle in hatred; you will fight it in love. You won’t fight your husband/wife, because we know that our battle is not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12), but it is against the wrong forces causing them to do what they are doing (which is not acting right).

The more you fight your spouse and build up resentment over what you believe he/she did wrong to you, the more you destroy the bond of unity in your marriage. When unity is destroyed goals and dreams are almost impossible to achieve. God is interested in the agreed request of you and your spouse far above the singular request you make to Him. If the issue you are praying for is supposed to be a joint issue before the Lord that issue will remain pending until it is presented right before Him.

This is possibly why Abraham’s request for an heir lingered long before the Lord even though God had promised him a child; it was because Abraham didn’t carry his wife Sarah along in his request. But Isaac’s prayer got a speedy response because it was a request that had him and his wife on the request list. In the same manner there are a lot of prayers that are still on the pending tray of the Lord simply because it is supposed to go to God as a joint request but it was presented to God by just one out of two. The Lord is still waiting for the second signatory to sign on that request sheet before attention is given to it.

A few weeks ago I was running through my stuff and I came across a prayer request that I and my husband had written just after we got married. In fact it was a list of the things we wanted to achieve as early as possible in our marriage. Twelve years after I noticed that all that was on that list had been achieved and with pride I showed my husband the list and asked him if he remembered the list; it was even written in his handwriting. He looked at it and smiled and said but it took so long to get there. What we had hoped to happen within 2-3 years of our marriage ended up taking almost ten years to see through.

I told him that those years of fights and battling each other and living as strangers and doing things the way each one felt it should be done without any thought for one another in decisions we made and actions we took didn’t count and that has account for about 7 years of the time wasted. So now that we have harmonized our marriage and we now live like husband and wife in the way and manner the Lord intends it to be, we are praying and getting answers because we are doing things in agreement.

From the moment that I discovered this secret, I have always ensured that my goals and dreams and aspirations are in alignment with my husband and when I pray about things I am praying as one praying on behalf of both of us. And things are looking much better now.

I can imagine how grieved God was when He declared that "my people perish for lack of knowledge". The devil is aware of the secret tool of unity in marriage and even in every area of life, but how we manage not to see it or know it is what pains the heart of God. The devil will always work to ensure that you and your spouse do not speak with one voice and act in agreement so that he can rob you blind of your God given treasures and you just blindly let him, while sighting baseless reasons as excuse not to forgive, let go and then you get robbed.

As far as I can tell, there is no offense that your spouse commits that is beyond forgiving if you let God work in you and deal with the situation on your behalf. It is the lie of the devil that his/her sin is unpardonable. Forgive and forget and strive to work as a team with your spouse, because you need each other to get to the top where the Lord has destined you to be.

She Ran For Her Life When She Discovered Her Husband Has Gone Diabolical

I woke up today thanking God and I felt good about it. It’s not that I won a trophy or got a bank credit alert, it’s a little more than that; it’s that I am among the living today, it’s that I have good health, it’s that I am not running over from one hospital to another over a sick child, it’s that I have a functioning marriage and home where the love of God reigns. There are so many things that I don’t have, but there are so many more things that I don’t deserve, yet the Lord has blessed me with them. And I just woke up feeling very thankful; refusing to focus on those things that I don’t have knowing that He who has blessed me this much without deserving it can and will bless me with all that I have asked of him. So I will wait, and while waiting, I will appreciate what I have been given and thank God for them all. 

Today its going to be another marriage story and I pray the Lord will open our hearts to how we can handle our marriage issues right. I hope and pray that the things we learn here are helping us be better husbands and wives in Jesus name. 

Issue

I have been married for some time now and there hasn’t been much issue other than the regular husband and wife squabbles; nothing out of the ordinary. But not too long ago, I had to separate from my husband when I discovered that he had gone diabolical. He is beginning to visit herbalist and sorcerers in search of wealth. My worry is that a man who can bow to pressure and leave the presence of God to resort to herbalist and sorcerers for wealth can actually go to any length to get the wealth. He obviously has sold his conscience and his soul to the devil. More so, I don’t want any man to use my children for wealth ritual.

The difficult aspect of all these is that he was introduced into all these nonsense by his mother and so talking him out of it will be difficult. Rather than risk my life, I have decided to just pack my belongings and my children and leave to safe my life. 

Response

This problem from a glance appears big and any normal person would do just what you have done. But you are not designed by God to be just any normal person, David said God created man a little below angel and then Paul said that the same spirit that rose Christ from the dead lives in us and quickens our mortal bodies to the glory of God’s holy name. So you are supernormal, you are more powerful than normal if truly you are in Christ Jesus and His words are in you. Except you are telling me that you are not born-again. 

In all of these narrations I have not heard you talk about prayers. And we all know that God loves us so much that He will not allow a challenge bigger and more powerful than us come our way. Colossians 2:9-10 says, “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is Head over every power and authority.” Now, I don’t know how strong you are in the faith, but if you believe in the power of a herbalist and sorcerer, should you not believe more in the power of Christ which is bigger, more powerful, more effective and even more dangerous and all the sorcerers and herbalists put together. 

Now if your husband has gone to consult a power that is not of God, and you believe that God has assigned you as a suitable helper in his life, should you not then go acquire a bigger, more powerful, more effective and more dangerous to overthrow that evil power that has taken hold of his life and free from every evil bondage? Interestingly, they say he who runs from a fight today, lives to fight another day. This is your problem to solve and not to run away from, because running away isn’t going to get the problem solved. And if your husband truly possess evil powers, my sister there is nowhere you run to that he won’t get you if he wants to, so the only thing to do is to deal with it and get it resolved and destroyed. 

Ephesians 6:12(NKJV) says, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Now this as the Bible puts it is what you are up against and not your husband. These are your problems that you have to deal with and not the husband that God has assigned you to help. This is where the focus of your battle should be, and what the battle is about is to deliver from husband from their hold and free your marriage and your husband from any evil manipulation. 

Ephesians 6:13-18(NKJV)

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Stand therefore, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all taking the shield of faith with which you will quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and application of the saints. 

2 Corinthians 10:3-5(NKJV)

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. 

Here are the things you need to arm yourself with in order to deal with the situation you have been confronted with. If you say you are a child of God, then act like one because children of the most high king are fearless against the forces of darkness because they have what it takes to do battle and win. They have the power of God in them.  

A sorcerer will say a thing and it comes to pass because he has belief in the power he has employed to do his bidding. There is nothing the sorcerer has that you don’t have much more as a child of God. If the sorcerer believes in his power which he cannot see, then you better start believing in the power that you have in Christ Jesus and make good use of that power in destroying whatever it is that is destroying your peace. 

If you have not don’t that yet, now is the time to give your life to Jesus, and allowed the Spirit of God dwell richly in you. Take kin interest in your Bible, it is the word of God which is your sword to do battle and firm up your faith. With all these you will be amazed at how far you can go in this battle. God knows you can do this victoriously otherwise it won’t be you in this situation, so you better get to work immediately knowing fully well that you can pull this through victoriously. May the Lord bless you and bless your home in Jesus name.

Discussing Practical Issues 4

Good day people of God, how are you doing this beautiful Tuesday, I believe by the special grace of God we are all fine. The Lord will always keep watch over us and perfect all that concerns us in Jesus name. 

I hope you have been enjoying the blog posts as much as I have been; so much lessons to learn and so much has been revealed and I really do bless the Lord for opening the truth of His word to us. 

So today, it’s going to be another story day, and I pray and hope it’s a story that will we can learn from and it will make a great impact on our lives and homes to the glory of God alone in Jesus name. 

Issue

I have been married for about two years now and I loved my wife with every fiber of strength in me. I turned my back on my family and avoided my parents and siblings just because my wife’s pastor asked me to beware of my family as they do not mean me well. I served my wife like a mini god and followed every advice she gave me like a brainless man. I relocated to another country with her even though I didn’t know what the future held for me there just to make her happy. I did everything in this world to please my wife but I am just waking up to the reality of how foolish I have been. In this place I can barely feed myself not to talk of providing for my wife and child. Life has been so hard on me that now I have to run back to my family (parents and siblings) for their forgiveness and assistance. These were that I was made to believe didn't mean well for me. They are the ones the Lord has now used in coming to my aid to ensure that my suffering ends. To say my wife has destroyed my life is just to put it mildly. She does not cook, she does not clean the house, she does not even have time for the child she gave birth do. All my wife does is sit with her phone and chat on social media, aside the fact that she pays good attention to her academics. The big problem I have in this marriage is that my wife was trained to believe that she as the wife should be the one calling the shots and whatever she says must be accepted and adhered to unchallenged. Her mother claims she calls the shots in her house and the same should also apply in her children’s homes. That I will not take from her or her mum and the earlier she knows that the better for her. She is a worker in church, but I am not sure if truly that church is making any positive impact on her. I have prayed and I am still praying and I believe that it is only the fear of God that is keeping me sane and married. But in truth I am a frustrated husband and don’t know for how long I can cope with this.

Response

First I want to salute your effort so far as a husband. The only way that you can effectively attain success in your marriage is by loving your wife unconditionally and that you say you have been doing. I also appreciate the prayer aspect of your narration and I believe that the Lord will uphold your marriage and your home to His glory alone in Jesus name. 

1 Corinthian 11:3 reads, “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God,” and Ephesians 5:23 reads, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which He is Savior.” No matter what obtains between your wife’s mother and father, what the Bible says is that husband is the head of his wife and not the other way round. This you need to register in the mind of your wife in a loving manner. There is a difference between loving your wife and worshiping or idolizing her; what God instructs the husband is to love his wife and not worship her. Exact your authority as the head in your marriage and do so in a loving manner. 

The error you have made in all of this narration is to allow your wife talk you into alienating yourself from your family; no man is an island and we need one another to survive. I don’t dispute that evil exist between siblings and there are cases of extreme sibling rivalry, but as a child of God you have the cover of the blood of Jesus over your life. No one can harm you except the Lord permits; God is your ever present help in times of trouble. The Bible say we should test all spirits, you don’t just accept any man of God into your life because he says he is a man of God. There are many fake men of God on the face of the earth and you just don’t accept any kind of doctrine into your life just because he is your wife’s pastor. You need to pray to God to reveal to you the true identity of whoever is coming into your life in the name of God. You need to test all spirit in line with what applies in the Bible. A man who put an enmity between you and your siblings or parents is not a true man of God to me. The Bible preaches love and not hatred.

Finally I will tell you that there is no marriage without its challenges, you are new in marriage and this is the learning phase where you build the foundation of your life together with your wife. This is the time to let your wife know who you truly are, express your likes and dislikes to her and let her know what you can tolerate and those things that pisses you off; and this you need to do in a very loving manner. You need to firm up as the head and still love sacrificially as the head. You should support her well now that you mentioned something to do with academics and help her grow in her life’s pursuit. You will achieve much when you both pursue your lives goals in twos and not individually. There is power in unity.

Life is never a smooth road my brother, there are times of dry ground and times of rich vegetation so this time of famine in your life will not last as long as you hold unto to God, pray and follow His directions for your life. Learn to hear from the Lord so that you don’t miss that time and opportunity that will bring about the financial turnaround in your life. Learn to be a giver; cultivate the habit of sowing seeds, no matter how little, they will germinate and produce fruits for you in multiples of what was sown.

Don’t stop loving your wife, the changes you desire to see in her life can only happen through love and prayer. Be a loving head over your wife and love her unconditionally as Christ is a loving head over the church. May the Lord bless your home richly in Jesus name.

What Kind of a Husband Are You

I thank God for another Monday, and another day to share the truth of the word of God with you. I pray we all had a restful weekend, and a very alert and active mind to go about another work week. May the Lord bless the works of our hands and course us to reap in multiple folds the harvest of what we have sown in Jesus name.

In my last post I shared a message on “What Kind of a wife Are You,” and we had a look into the life of two different wives in the Bible to have a better understanding of what is expected of us as wives.So as not to be partial, we will consider the angle of the husbands too and I will ask the husbands same question I asked the wives, “What kind of a husband are you?” So as to have a better understanding of where God wants to take us, we will take a look at two husbands in the Bible or even three and then compare and see which one fits the most.

Genesis 15:2-4

But Abram said, “O Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?” And Abram said, “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.”

Then the word of the Lord came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir.”

Genesis 17:1-2, 15-19

When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless. I will confirm my covenant between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers.”

God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai you wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.

Abraham fell face down; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” And Abraham said to God. If only Ishmael might live under your blessing.

The Lord said, “Yes, but Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him.

But my covenant will be established with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you by this time next year.”

Genesis 20:11-13

Abraham replied, “I said to myself, ‘There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’ Besides she really is my sister, the daughter of my father not my mother; and she became my wife. And when God caused me to wander from my father’s household, I said to her, ‘This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.” ’ ”

Genesis 26:21

Isaac prayed to God on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife became pregnant. 

Genesis 26:6-8

So Isaac stayed in Gerar

When the men of that place asked him about his wife, he said, “She is my sister,” because he was afraid to say, “She is my wife.” He thought, “The men of this place might kill me on account of Rebekah, because she is beautiful.”

When Isaac had been there a long time, Abimelech king of the Philistines looked down from a window and saw Isaac caressing his wife Rebekah.

The two husbands we will be looking at and comparing with each other is Abraham and Isaac. You would probably think that it will be a case of like father like son, but the Lord has shown me huge differences between these two husbands which I will be sharing with you. 

True, Abraham was a friend of God, he was a man who had an enviable relationship with God and God loved him enough to listen to him; Abraham reverenced God and he followed through with God's commandments and instructions. The way and manner God related with him was very special for a man whose father didn’t even worship God. But Abraham was not the perfect example of a husband if you ask me. He had a lot of flaws when it came to some of the treatment he have his wife. 

When Abraham cried to God for a child in Genesis 15, the first thing that would come to mind is that he was praying for a child on behalf of himself and his wife. But for Abraham to succumb to Sarah’s advice to take her maid as wife tells me he was a bit of a selfish husband.

Sarah was a wife that was concerned and worried about the concerns of her husband. I am trying to imagine how much unhappiness childlessness had brought into the life of Abraham. I kind of feel the situation must have been eating Abraham up and probably affecting the joy of their marriage for Sarah to come up with the suggestion of Hagai; and selfish Abraham grabbed the offer. He didn’t even think about the cost of that idea of his wife. He didn’t think of how she was or would be affected by the idea. He didn’t consider what was running through her mind for her to come up with such a bizarre idea; he just grabbed it without questioning anything. And when she began to complain about Hagai’s attitude after she became pregnant, Abraham through the problem back at her face as though it was her problem and she should fix it. So you won't blame me if I wonder what kind of a husband Abraham was. How many husbands today are like Abraham? He was a man of God no doubt but as a husband, he was not a master piece at all. 

One of the attributes of Abraham that made him a negative husband was that he was manipulative. He was selfish and he was manipulative. Would you imagine that Abraham asked his wife to claim she was his sister just to show how much she loved him? And I wonder how much love Abraham had for Sarah when he agreed to take her slave girl as wife just to have an heir. No wonder Sarah was referred to as the godly women of old by Peter in the book of 1 Peter 3:5-6. For her, her husband came first in all things. His happiness was a top priority to her and no doubt God fought her battles for her. 

God fought for her in the palace of Abimelech and Pharaoh of Egypt. God fought for her and gave her a child even in old age. Genesis 17:15-21 tells us about when God came to renew His covenant with Abraham and changed Sarai’s name to Sarah and promised that she will yet have a son. Abraham told God that he already had an heir and God could just bless Ishmael and fulfill His covenant through him. But I bless the Lord because He alone is God; He had seen all the sacrifices of Sarah that Abraham was blinded to and He knew she deserved better than Abraham had offered. The Lord responded to Abraham’s request that He the Lord will bless Ishmael as requested by him, but His covenant was with Sarah’s seed Isaac. And all through the Bible Isaac was the only child that God reckoned as Abraham’s child. Abraham was a friend of God like a lot of men of God we have today, but Abraham was not a good example of a husband. So what kind of a husband are you? Do you take advantage of your wife like Abraham did? Well know that you might not have the kind of pardon that Abraham had. 

The second husband we will be looking at is Isaac. Yes, Isaac the covenant child of Abraham but so very different a husband from Abraham. The Bible tells us that Isaac prayed on behalf of his wife Rebekah, and one is tempted to wonder if it was only Rebekah that was childless or it was both Rebekah and Isaac. For Isaac to pray on behalf of his wife tells me that the childless situation was hurting his wife more and he was concerned about how his wife felt and so he prayed to God. His love for his wife was a sacrificial one. He was not hurting because he didn’t have a child; he was hurting because his wife was hurting as a result of their barren situation and so he prayed to God. And God being faithful and true, answered Isaac’s prayer and his wife became pregnant.

So we see the difference between Abraham and Isaac and how they handled the same situation in different ways. Abraham prayed because of himself and Isaac prayed because of his wife; both praying for a child. Probably the Lord was waiting for Abraham to stop whining over his not having a child and start being a man who puts his wife first before himself in sacrificial love before answering his prayer and giving him the promised covenant child. But rather than stopping to whine, he fetched himself a child from a bond girl; but their still remained the cry and prayer of Sarah, the wife with a heart of many sacrifices. 

Isaac showed how much of a sacrificial husband he was, a husband who put the feeling of his wife first. And God honored him for that and answered him speedily. No soon had he prayed on behalf of his wife no soon had she become pregnant.

Then again Isaac found himself in Gerar as a result of famine just like Abraham did, and he was also afraid that the people of Gerar might kill him and take his wife because she was beautiful just like Abraham had thought in his time. This is the second time Abraham and Isaac were confronted with the same situation and here again Isaac acted a lot better than Abraham did in his time. In Isaac’s situation, he didn't ask his wife to lie, he lied on her behalf. It was Isaac who told the men of Gerar that Rebekah was his sister. Rebekah didn’t have to corroborate the story or deny it; it was all his doing. But in the case of Abraham he had to drag poor Sarah into his mess. In as much as I don’t encourage the lying, but I salute the resolve of Isaac and the love and protection he showed his wife. 

And then the Bible says Isaac was seen caressing his wife in broad day light by the king of Gerar through a window. Isaac knew how to love and show love to his wife. It’s just a beautiful thing to have a husband like Isaac, I am sure a lot of women will agree with me on that. So I ask the men again, what kind of a husband are you? 

I had mentioned earlier than though Abraham was a friend of God, yet he was not a fantastic husband. I am tempted to think that Abraham loved his wife but had a weird way of showing it and that didn’t make him a fantastic husband or a husband to wish for. 

But worse of all the kinds of husband is Nabal the husband of Abigail. No wonder he didn’t last at all. He was a mean and surly husband as the Bible describes him.

We have looked at three kinds of husband in the Bible and I hope the men can measure themselves with what they have learned from these husbands. The fact that Abraham was a friend of God did not excuse his attitude towards his wife. Abraham’s selfish longing for a child and lack of thought for the feelings of his wife brought about the existence of Ishmael outside the will and purpose of God for his life. You actions or inactions have far more reaching consequences or reward than you imagined. What kind of a husband are you?  

Genesis 26:12 tells us that Isaac planted crops in that land and the same year reaped a hundred fold, because the Lord blessed. This was happening at a time when there was famine. And the Bible went on to say that Isaac grew rich and his wealth continued to grow until he became very wealthy. If you ask me, I will say he deserves nothing less because God will always hear and answer the prayers of a man who loves and takes care of his wife. 

Choosing to be a husband like Isaac is a beautiful thing and the beginning of doing your own bit in making the world a better place for all. So I ask again, "What kind of a husband are you?" 

What Kind of a Wife Are You

Its Saturday again, and a very beautiful weekend I am praying it will be for us all in Jesus name. I pray you are able to rest well and get your energy well stored up for the coming working days. May the Lord bless the works of our hands in Jesus name.

In my post today I will not share a story; I perceive the Lord will want me to ask the wives a question on their assignment in the lives of their husband, so I will start by asking this: “What kind of a wife are you?” This question will be the basis of what I will be sharing today, and I pray that the Lord will bless lives and touch homes by this post in Jesus name.

Job 2:7-10

So satan went out of the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.

His wife said to him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!”

He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

1 Samuel 25:2-3, 14

A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings.

One of the servants told Nabal’s wife Abigail: “David sent messengers from the desert to give our master greetings, but he hurled insult at them. Yet these men were very good to us. They did not ill-threat us and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. Night and day, they were a wall around us all the time we were herding our sheep near them. Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no-one can talk to him.”

Abigail lost no time. She too two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, “God ahead; I’ll follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal.

I want us to have a comparison of these two wives and try to know where we fit in as wives and in doing this we should try and be sincere with ourselves.

Job’s wife was married to a very wealthy man just like Abigail. The interesting thing about her is that nothing was ever said of Job’s wife except her foolish advice to her husband when the tables turned and things went soar. So from the look of things she didn’t have much contribution in the success story of her husband's life. She didn’t know how he arrived at his wealth or how he ran his life. Based on the records of the Bible, it appeared she didn’t feature in his life at all. One would have wondered if Job did have a wife safe of the fact that he had children who would have been born to him by his wife going by his righteous life. And then the foolish advice given by her.

For a wife who made no meaningful or commendable contribution in the life of her husband worth mentioning in the story of his life, it’s no surprise the kind of advice that came out of her to her husband in the face of challenges. So whether Job lived or died apparently didn’t matter. So I want to ask this: “Are you that kind of a wife to your husband?”

The direct opposite kind of wife is Abigail. We can see that from the moment Nabal’s name was mentioned in the Bible his wife’s name was mentioned alongside his own. If you read the introduction of the story of Nabal, the first thing that was used to describe him was his wealth; what he owned, then his name was mentioned and that of his wife. But when their characteristics were to be described, Abigail’s came first. She was described as intelligent and beautiful and then the Bible tells us that Nabal was mean and surly.

Thinking deep on these issues one is tempted to conclude that the story of Nabal the wealthy man is not complete without the mention of his beautiful and intelligent wife. This will be so because she must have played a major role in whom Nabal had become – a very wealthy man.

So I ask the wives again, “What kind of a wife are you.” Abigail fulfilled her God given assignment in the life of her husband. When danger was knocking as a result of her husband’s negative attitude, she didn’t go to home to fight him or tell him to right his wrong, she didn’t run away from the scene to safe her own life, she tried to right the wrong on behalf of her husband and tried to atone for the situation without even letting her husband know.

Has your husband offended someone and you try go mend the fence and appease the person when you know and are convinced your husband was obviously wrong? Or did you blindly take side with your husband and fanned the embers of his wrong as the hero with mighty powers or did you go to your husband telling him to his face that he was wrong and then he felt betrayed by even you which has resulted in a gulf in your marriage or did you just pray? Whatever you did tells the kind of wife you are.

Abigail knew who her husband was, interestingly enough she never tried to change him so as not to appear controlling or domineering, she just simply became in his life all that he wasn’t. She was the beautiful and intelligent part that was missing in Nabal’s life. She became his missing rib. She controlled what was under her power to control which was herself, and she left that which she could not control. If Nabal would not give David supplies, she went ahead and did it, knowing that Nabal didn’t have any justifiable reason to deny a man who had always helped him a favor that was within his reach to do and by so doing put himself in danger. And she didn’t do this to blow her own trumpet, she didn’t do it to exonerate herself; she did it on behalf of her husband. She did it to plead the course of her husband and he didn’t even know it.

Are we playing this kind of roles in the life of her husbands? Are we performing the role of a suitable helper in the lives of our husbands in fulfillment of God’s purpose for our lives or are we just doing our thing and seeking fulfillment in ourselves other than what God purposed for our lives? What kind of a wife are you?

If we have all wives like Abigail, I can imagine how beautiful our world will be. You might say that Abigail didn’t succeed in changing Nabal, well she wasn't meant to change him, she was meant to compliment him, pray for him and allow God use her to change him. And when God was tired of who Nabal was, He took his life Himself. But Abigail’s life was even better afterwards; she became a queen in the palace of David. What a wife to be married to King David. She proved herself worthy of that position by character and deeds.

This lesson I want the wives to keep close to their hearts, Abigail never allowed her mean and surly husband to drag her down into the pit. She did what she had to do as a wife irrespective of who or what her husband was. Wives, our husbands should not be an excuse to fail.