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Monday, 30 April 2018

When Man Gets it Wrong

I am so very sorry that I have taken so long a time to write a post, it simply because I am trying to find a means to be a complete wife myself. So I am moving from being a full-time housewife to being an entrepreneur wife, you know like the one you read about in Proverbs 31:10-31. Just like any other wife out there, I am also a work in progress, sharing what has worked for me with other couples.
In this my long break, even though I have not taken the time to write on the blog, God has been doing a lot of writing in people’s lives through me and I bless His name. And I realized that there is still a lot to be done with regards the issue of marriage.
In space of time that I have been away, I have had to do a lot of talking to couples and one thing I have noticed is that we seem not to understand who the true enemy of how marriage is. That divine revelation of understanding that my husband is not my enemy helped me to seek God right with my marriage and God came through for me.
First, I want us to go back to Genesis 2:18-31, there God said it was not good for the man to be alone and so He decided to make a helper suitable for him, which He brought to the man and then she became his wife. Before this declaration by God, He had made all living creatures, He made the birds of the air, the fish of the sea and the beast of the ground, He even made the living plants, and God made them male and female. So God made them in pairs of twos, one male, and one female. He made them independent of each other. And that is why it is just natural to find a male goat mating with different female goats. It is also not out of place to see a female dog mating with any male dog she sees. There is no marriage in the animal kingdom, neither is there marriage in the plant kingdom. When God made them, He made them independent of each other and so there is no sin when a female goat mates with a different male goat each time the need arises. For them, they only come together for the purpose of procreation or should I say reproduction only. 
But with mankind, the story is different. The Bible tells us that when God made man, He noticed that it was not good for the man to be alone, but rather than make a female man like He did the other animals, God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and took a rib from the man and then formed a woman and brought her to the man to be his suitable helper and wife. The big truth in this for every man and woman married and intending to be married is that no matter the geographical origin of the two individuals that make the married couple, no matter their language or skin color, the God who made them says He made the wife from the rib He took from the man and so they are not two different individuals like they would want to believe or that the world system has made them believe, but they are one in flesh and spirit and the God who made them has declared that He the woman from the rib He took from the man so there is an element of the man in the woman. As a wife, you carry a part of your husband in you and it is important for the man to understand that a part of him resides in his wife. God who made us all declared it so.
The world didn’t make the man, so the world cannot state the genesis of the created man, we are made by God and cannot question His declaration in our making, so if God says He made the woman from the man, then it is simply so without any argument or contention.
This revelation is very vital to the success of any marriage. The simple understanding and embracing of this revelation is so very important for a marriage to move forward successfully. And so we will look at how to make good use of this divine revelation for a successful marriage.
The first thing that a man needs to know is that his wife is an extension of him by virtue of God’s declaration at creation. If this is so, then if he can’t be an enemy of himself, then his wife cannot be his enemy. So it is the lie of the devil to convince a man that his greatest enemy is his wife. Your wife is never your enemy no matter how much you have convinced yourself that she is. 
Yes, I agree that some wives do evil things to their husbands, but she is simply a tool in the hands of your true enemy to destroy you. Fighting your wife amounts to you fighting the wrong battle and leaving the true enemy of your life to run loss and free. If the devil is done using your wife against you, he will anyone else close to you that is ignorant of his scheme and before you realize it, you make an enemy out of those you should truly love and leave your true enemy having a filled day on your ignorance. Ephesians 6:12 says we wrestle not against flesh and blood, so your fight is not against any flesh, and so we should not go hating those we are destined to love.
I agree that a wife might be misbehaving, she will misbehave so many times that the only solution that may seem appropriate to human reasoning is to get a divorce and let her just go before more damage is done. But we are not mere humans, we are beyond human reasoning when we apply the mind of Christ to our reasoning(the bible says we should have the mind of Christ).So to say that we should reason like Christ as we children of God having in us the Spirit of God. 
Now, one thing that the husband should not forget is that his wife is an extension of him, she was taken out of him. A man also fail and fall sometimes and even most times, but does he not dust himself up and pick up is life and learn from his mistakes? If yes, then why is he finding it hard to look beyond the faults and failures of his wife and find a solution better than a divorce noting that his wife is an extension of himself by the declaration of God?
Let’s look at this illustration: Let’s assume a man trips on his leg and falls, and most certainly he has tripped on that same leg more than once, but that does not translate to him cutting off the leg. In the same manner, the fact that your wife who happens to be an extension of you is not fulfilling who she should be in your life does not translate to you sending her out of your life. The fact that you don’t feel physical pain by your actions of sending her out of your life, does not mean your destiny isn’t feeling the pinch of your action. Yes, she might be causing you emotional pain, but your reaction to that pain has its impact on your destiny.
You might wonder what divorce has to do with destiny. Let’s check this out: Proverbs 18:22 tells us that a man who finds a wife finds what is good and obtains God’s favor, so to say that the entrance of your wife into your life is the entrance of God’s favor into your life. When you drive your wife out of your life then logically you are saying goodbye to the portion of God’s favor that she came into your life with. For your destiny to blossom your need good measure of God’s favor in your life, so the exit of your wife from your life is depleting the favor of God in your life requisite to the growth of your destiny. So when you go for a divorce, you might get some emotional relief, but you have depleted the measure of God’s favor for your life.
We have taken time to highlight the problem and I trust God that divine revelation from Him will give you a deeper understanding of what God is communicating through this write-up far beyond the words that I have written. But before I close, I want us to trust God on the way forward for a troubled marriage other than rushing for a divorce and I want God to address this issue from the husband’s perspective.
In Matthew 25:14-15, Jesus tells the parable of a man going on a journey and then entrusted his property to his servants and gave them talents according to their ability. What stroke me hard in that passage is that the property owner shared his properties among his servants according to their ability. This tells me that although the gift of God for our lives is supposed to make us rich and add no sorrow to it, yet it is according to our ability.
Proverbs 18:22 then tells us that “he who finds a wife, finds what is good and obtains the favor of God,” so to say that your wife is a gift from God to you, but yet the Lord gives you this wife based on your ability. You will agree with me that there is no perfect wife in the world but there is a perfect wife that God has created for every man based on his ability. If your wife is not yet perfect for you as a husband then it’s important that you check how far you have been able to exploit and utilize your ability. No matter how tough your wife may be, you have already been endowed with the ability to make her into the perfect wife that fits and suits your destiny only that you do not know you possess that ability or you are not exploring and exploiting that ability enough. And if this is the case then it's important to run back to God who created you and blessed you with an ability to help you discover the ability that is in your requisite to making your wife a better person suitable for your life's destiny.  
Before you cast the guilty verdict on your wife and call her imperfect and incapable and then run for a divorce, it’s important to check within you if you have exploited and explored all the ability that God has given you. And if your answer is yes, then you are not return to the throne of grace to seek and obtain more ability from God who gives without finding fault to continue to be a husband to your troublesome wife till she becomes all that God has called her to be in your life with the help and support of the living God.
When you have explored all that you know to do and it is not working, explore love. When you love and pray, you cannot get it wrong.