You can please listen to the audio version of this blog by clicking on this link https://soundcloud.com/aderinsola-obasa/a-wife-as-gods-tool-of-change-in-the-life-of-her-husband, but I will advise that if possible you read the blog and listen to the audio. They are both loaded with valuable information.
We had our very first Silver Lining Couple’s Clinic and it was a session packed full of information and secrets to achieving a wonderful marriage experience. More than you would have imagined I did more of learning and when it was time for me to do my presentation, I almost had nothing to say. But there are more of such sessions to come. We will be learning together to success in Jesus name.
There are a lot of issues and questions that came up in the course of the couple’s clinic and we will be considering them and answering some of the questions in a series of blog posts before we pick a date for the second edition of the couple’s clinic.
One of such questions will be the topic of today’s blog post and I pray the Holy Spirit will give us an understanding of the matter. And the question is “How can one tell a woman who has been emotionally abused by her husband to still submit to him?” Those in attendance, who attempted to answer the question gave “God’s Grace” as the only possible solution to that case scenario. And though I totally agree to that submission but would like to give a better explanation to the matter.
First, we need to understand that submission as an instruction in marriage was not given as a rule to the wife by her husband or anyone human, it was given as an instruction by God. And that instruction does not come with a condition and no qualifying adjective. So, the wife is supposed to submit to her husband unconditionally just as the man is meant to love his wife unconditionally.
With that at the back of our minds, we now talk of submission not as a thing pleasing to the husband or as a role of manipulation in marriage, but as obedience to the instructions of God. So, the focus of your submission in marriage is not your husband, but God. You are submitting to your husband to please God irrespective of what your husband does and does not.
1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence f your lives.
I will want to use an illustration to bring to life the above Bible passage. A wife who has been praying to God for a change in the life of her husband is like a nurse who is working with a Doctor in carrying out a surgical operation on a patient. When a doctor is to carry out a surgical procedure on a patient, he requires tools to work with. He will need a set of surgical knives, surgical blades, materials to suture the part of the patient’s body where the operation was done and many other tools as may be so required. Now all the materials are assembled by the assisting nurse. It is her responsibility to prepare these materials ahead of the operation and as the doctor needs and asks for any material, she gives them to him immediately and watches on as the doctor does his thing.
If 1 Peter 3:1-2 tells us that it is through submission of the wife to her husband that an unbelieving husband is won over to God, then this doctor-nurse illustration is so very appropriate to describe what we don’t see in the physical but takes place in the spiritual. Now, your husband is the bad one needing help and to that end, I will not argue or contest it. And then we invite the almighty Doctor who alone can bring about the change we want to see in our husbands into the situation; we invite God to do in our husbands what He alone can do. But then, for God to do His thing we need to give Him the tools to work with. As a wife you are the assisting nurse enlisted to assist God in doing what He alone can do best in your husband and marriage.
Tools to provide ready for this repair operation in the life of your husband are listed in the Bible; things like submission which is the most important tool of all, you will find purity and reverence (1 Peter 3:1-2), you will find hard-work (Proverbs 31:10-31), you will find wisdom which is essential for building a home, you will find understanding, you will find knowledge (Proverbs 24:3-4), you will find strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25). All these are the tools a wife needs to make available for God to work with as He brings about a glorious change in the life of her husband.
You can then imagine if a doctor who needs to operate on a patient needs a surgical knife to open his patient up and there is no surgical knife available. Well without any further story, the operation will be put on hold until the nurse makes a surgical knife available. In the same manner, if God needs to work on your husband and he needs your submission to work with and submission is not available, then whatever work God needs to do in the life of your husband will be put on hold till submission is made available for Him to work with. And this explains why God didn’t put any condition or clause to the issue of submission on the part of the wife in marriage.
A wife who has a revelation of the dealings of God will submit to her husband and put her emotions on hold with the understanding that it's not her husband that she is focusing on, but God. And this helps her to put her anger or any other negative emotion she feels towards her husband on hold as she strives to please God in obedience to His word for her in submitting to her husband as unto the Lord.
It is only when a wife keeps her focus of submission on her husband that she gets depressed by him. When her focus of submission is on God, her attention for submission is shifted from her husband to her God. Then no matter the obstacle that tries to stop her obedience, even when such is coming from her husband, she is not moved. She just keeps on submitting to her husband as unto the Lord. So, while she is doing what God requires of her, God is also doing what she requires of Him in the life of her husband. And so, she is making herself available for God to use in making her husband a better person.
I have package two books on marriage issues and so far, they have helped a lot of couples understand marriage better and their marriages are thriving today. Why add to the number of failed marriages when you can enjoy a beautiful life as couples and believe me when I say the grass is not greener on the other side. A successful marriage doesn’t just happen, those in it make it happen and then enjoy the fruits of their labor.
The E-book of “The Marriage Handbook” cost only N2000, while the E-book of “God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage” cost only N1200. Both books can be purchased directly from the link provided. The payment platform (Paystack) is trusted and secure and used by over 25,000 online business. You can either pay with your Debit Card or by using your account details. You E-book will be ready for download with a password to open the book provided, immediately your payment is made, no waiting time.
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And if you have not registered for the Silver Lining Couple’s Clinic, it’s time you do so very fast, the seats are fast filling up and the speakers are getting ready to impart knowledge with the help of the Holy-Spirit. You just can’t afford to miss it. It’s not just a program for married couples alone, but for all those who want to know what marriage should truly be about. I look forward to seeing you there. Attendance is absolutely FREE, but you will have to book a seat by sending a message with your name, telephone number and email address to 08023171370 (WhatsApp). Or you register at