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In today’s marriage blog, we will be looking at the benefits of submission in the marriages and lives of godly wives in the Bible. I acknowledge the fact that as a wife total submission can be tough most especially in the light that a wife believes so much in herself and her conviction tells her she is right, and her husband is wrong. In some other cases, to tell a wife who has been treated badly by her husband to submit to him in all things as unto the Lord is a big issue, noting that this same mean husband has done nothing to deserve his wife’s loyalty, least of all her submission. But like I noted in my last post, God did not put the adjective “except” in the rule, and so submission is not a subject of how good or bad your husband is. Submission is simply obeying God’s word for your life irrespective of the fact that it’s your husband that benefits from such an instruction.
But submission is like building a house when you are constructing a house it takes a lot from you. You have to put a sizeable chunk of your resources into the building project, your money, time, thoughts and everything goes into building that house. Even when you have a building engineer on site, you still need to go do some supervision from time to time. But once the building is completed, it becomes your property, your pride, your evidence of hard work. Likewise, is what it takes to build up a marriage through submission. You need to stoop to conquer. You need to put in all your submissiveness and prayers to enjoy a glorious marriage. Through the help of God, you need to invest so much in submission so much so that you radiate the infilling of the glory of God in your life such that not your words will touch your husband and move him to love you, but your deeds and actions.
So, we will begin by looking at that wife called Sarah. Sarah is an exemplary wife that I just always love to love. If she is the only godly wife, we are able to glean from, we will be learning so much from her.
In Genesis 12:10-20, Sarah did something that I am still finding hard to comprehend. She agreed to her husband’s (Abram) plot to say that she was his sister rather than his wife in order to save the life of her husband. In this agreement, there are a lot of “what ifs” that would ordinarily make me as a wife decline to such a plot (before my understanding of submission). I hold my integrity and self-esteem high and that also I know I need to protect. Such a plot simply tells me how low my husband regards me, and that is another heartbreak in itself for me. There is a lot of reason that will justifiably make me not agree with this kind of arrangement. Abraham was a man God chose and he obeyed; how come he couldn’t then trust God to protect him and his wife from the hands of Pharaoh in Egypt. But in all these Sarai obeyed. She agreed with her husband, she did just what she was told to do. Even though her heart was heavy, even though she could have been grossly disappointed in her husband, yet she obeyed him. She went along with the plan.
I am so very convinced that Sarai didn’t stay in the palace with both eyes closed. She must have been soaked in tears and prayers. While Sarai was in anguish in the palace, Abram was busy acquiring sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, menservants and maidservants and camels (Genesis 12:16). Yet his wife was a prisoner in Pharaoh’s palace in the name of wife. Was it a crime for Sarai to be beautiful? The answer is No. But what we read here is what the beautiful Sarai had to sacrifice for the success of her marriage. Now not for love, because no-one would right-mindedly do such for love, but in obedience to the word of God that says wife submit to your husband in everything.
Sarai didn’t take the seat of a queen in the palace of Pharaoh, because if she did, she would have been sleeping with the king and that was adultery which God hated, but I believe, she was there praying. She was there petitioning God concerning her situation. She was crying for help to heaven and it got to a point God realized she needed to be set free. It wasn’t Abram that went to get his wife, even though he was meant to love and protect her, it was God Himself who rose to her help from heaven. The Bible said God inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Sarai until Pharaoh handed Sarai back to her husband Abram (Genesis 12:17-20).
If this had just been a one-off situation it would have been accepted as just a one-time error and easily forgiven, but Abraham committed the same blunder in Genesis 20:1-End. Again, he told his wife to agree to say she was his sister before Abimelech king of Gerar. So, she went through all that emotional torture all over again. And this time a little worse because she was barren, and another woman had produced an heir to all her husband owned. Remember that Abram started getting wealthy on account of her imprisonment in the palace of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Pharaoh treated Abram well and he acquired so much wealth just because of Sarai in Genesis 12:10-20. And so, all that wealth that she suffered for would be handed over to the son of a bondservant, and now she was made to go through the emotions all over again. I don’t know if you get the picture of things, but it is not a good thing for any woman to go through.
But again, Sarah obeyed. She did as her husband told her to and just as it was expected Abimelech took Sarah as wife and Abraham enjoyed the favor of the king and the good of the land at the expense of his wife. And yet Sarah obeyed until God came to her rescue a second time. And this the sacrifice of submission that Sarah had to invest in her marriage for her to have the last laugh.
Can we now say that Sarah did all these for the love she had for her husband? For me, I would answer no, even though that was the request Abraham made of her (that was how she was to show him she loved him (Genesis 20:13)). But who does this kind of thing simply for love? I believe she did it for God and that is why even in the New Testament Sarah was referred to as the godly woman of old (1 Peter 3:5-6). Because Sarah obeyed God by obeying and submitting to her husband, God came through for her all the time. And in Genesis 21, just after the episode of Genesis 20, Sarah became pregnant and became a mother even at the age of 90years. All her tears were permanently wiped away. Her story change, she harvested the fruits of her plenty sacrifices; she delivered the covenant child that God promised, she became the mother of many nations after all.
But what if she didn’t submit, what if she gave up and walked away? I believe we would never have Sarah to hold in such high esteem thousands of years after she is gone. And you know what, when Isaac was born Sarah had to power to walk Hagar and her son out of her home, and when Abraham was reluctant God added His voice to the matter that indeed Hagar should be removed from the picture. No bond-child would inherit with Isaac what Sarah had so much sacrificed for (Genesis 21:8-20). She lived the latter part of her years happier than her former years. She reaped the fruits of her labor. Her seed of joy bore fruits for her in old age.This I believe is a huge lesson for me and for as many as would read this. Have you sacrificed as much as Sarah in submission to your husband in obedience to the word of God for you in marriage? It’s important that we know and understand that it’s not the husband that gave the rule of submission in marriage and even though some husbands have capitalized on it to boss or lord-it-over their wives, on the long run, God gave the rule, He accesses our performance and rewards us accordingly. The more of sacrifice you put in, the more reward that comes from it for you. There is grace available at the throne of God to help and if you desire a beautiful, peaceful, joyful marriage, you need to invest as much in that marriage. Many are already enjoying the dividends of their investment in marriage, start investing in yours too.
I have package two books on marriage issues and so far, they have helped a lot of couples understand marriage better and their marriages are thriving today. Why add to the number of failed marriages when you can enjoy a beautiful life as couples and believe me when I say the grass is not greener on the other side. A successful marriage doesn’t just happen, those in it make it happen and then enjoy the fruits of their labor.
The E-book of “The Marriage Handbook” cost only N2000, while the E-book of “God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage” cost only N1200. Both books can be purchased directly from the link provided. The payment platform (Paystack) is trusted and secure and used by over 25,000 online business. You can either pay with your Debit Card or by using your account details. You E-book will be ready for download with a password to open the book provided, immediately your payment is made, no waiting time.
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And if you have not registered for the Silver Lining Couple’s Clinic, it’s time you do so very fast, the seats are fast filling up and the speakers are getting ready to impart knowledge with the help of the Holy-Spirit. You just can’t afford to miss it. It’s not just a program for married couples alone, but for all those who want to know what marriage should truly be about. I look forward to seeing you there. Attendance is absolutely FREE, but you will have to book a seat by sending a message with your name, telephone number and email address to 08023171370 (WhatsApp). Or you register at