Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.
It is to a man's honour to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.
He who loves quarrel loves sin.
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
I am a very strong believer in the fact that if God is allowed to prevail in our homes and marriages, then God is already given a free play in the world over. If our homes are operating in accordance with the instructions of God then in no time the world will be a better place to live in for us.
Although the topic of this post is meant to address both the husband and wife, but because I am a woman, I am trusting God to use me in addressing the issue from a woman's point of view and He'll raise a vessel to take up the issue from a man's point of view.
Proverbs 14:1 says "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." The responsibility to build a home is primarily delegated by God to the woman, there is nowhere in the Bible where God addressed the man to build a home. But my darling ladies the Lord knows that you carry the strength and ability in you to fulfill this responsibility, so don't feel wearied, you are an embodiment of strength in yourself, you are not the weaker one.
With that said, it is now time to look at the issue of dispute and quarrels in marriages. Surprising enough, there is nothing said in the Bible of a quarrelsome husband, we hear of violent husband in Malachi chapter 2, but not of a quarrelsome husband. Is it that God didn't create men to be quarrelsome? Well not at all, it is because the violent man with a prayerful and godly wife is a vessel in the hands of God in molding. As we know in 1 Peter 3, it is through the purity and reverence in the life of the wife through the workings of Christ in her that shines and radiates and draws the husband to God. Never mind that your husband is as he is, if the Christ in you shines well enough, it is just a matter of time for him to be drawn to God.
But when you have learned the secret of submission and prayer, then with wisdom, knowledge and understanding, your home will be a masterpiece for all to see. So much as been said about a quarrelsome wife in the passages above, and I believe this is so because a wife plays a very big role in the life of her husband and family at large and she will not be effective if she is a wife who is quarrelsome and unable to control her temper.
A wife has been made by God to be suitable help to her husband, and then we are learning that even if her husband is an unbeliever, it is through the reverence and purity of her life that her husband is won over to God, and then she is still the one delegated by God to build the home. How will a quarrelsome wife and an ill-tempered wife fulfill all these God given assignments on her life when the major ingredient to having success in these assignments is lacking.
Quite a number of times we have heard it said that when something is bothering you it is important to speak up. A lot of problems that we women have is that we always want to be heard. Proverbs 18:2 says "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinion." When you are perceiving that your views tends to bring about a quarrel, then it's important to hold them in. You will not be helping yourself and your husband or even fulfilling God's assignment for your life when you are air a view that breeds a quarrel. There is always a very good time and manner to air that view without causing any problem with it.
Proverbs 17:9 says "He who covers over an offence promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." What I am learning here and I hope you are too, is that never keep records of the wrongs your husband has done, going over them again will only hurt your marriage. Instead, let the Lord help you take away the wrong and find the ease within to clean up the slate.
In your home as a wife it is important to pursue the peace of your home at all times even at the expense of your own view and opinions. The Lord will help you as you make effort to be the woman He has designed you to be.
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