How Can a Christian Mother Avoid Burnout?

Strange as this may sound, mothers were not designed for burnout. This is a truth worth reflecting on. Let me start by saying that the assignment to raise the children belongs to the father, while the assignment to nurture the children belongs to the wife. And let me finish by saying the assignment to take care of a wife belongs to her husband. 

But the more interesting truth is that whichever way we choose to look at this, between God and the husband, a wife/mother is guided away from any form of burnout. This doesn't say that the wife sits idly in the home, but the tasks she takes on should be such that she does not experience any burnout.

What I have written above is the ideal way things should be, but I recognise that it may not be so for everyone, so let’s trust God to grant us insight into how a Christian mother can avoid burnout. The first scripture that comes to mind is Psalm 46:1, and it says, “God is our refuge and strength; A very present help in trouble.”

This scripture goes beyond you being in trouble, because trouble is subjective. What is simple for one person may be trouble for another, but I would like to see this as God being available for us whenever we need help. A mother experiencing burnout is one who needs help, and this scripture tells us outright where the help comes from.

Without overgeneralizing this issue, I want to try to break down some possible causes of burnout for Christian mothers and how we can address these causes based on the truth of the Bible.

I had mentioned earlier that the task of training a child belongs to the father, and a few stories in the Bible come to mind at this time. In Genesis 18:19, God revealed that he chose Abraham that he might direct his children and household to keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice. Note that God didn’t choose Sarah, but Abraham. That assignment to train and direct was for Abraham.

Also in Job chapter 1, it was Job who had the custom of purifying his children and not Job’s wife. 1 Timothy 3:4 says that for a man to be considered as a church overseer, he must be a man who rules over his household and have his children in submission with all reverence. So, to say that he must be a man who has trained his children well.

If training the children is a reason why a Christian mother would experience burnout, it is important to note that the primary person owning the assignment to train children is the father. As a suitable helper to her husband, she will have to help out, and most importantly, nurture and care for the children, but the father owns this task. And she should not experience burnout while assisting.

Another possible reason why a Christian mother will experience burnout is that a lot of the weight of the home is placed on her shoulders. She is the home builder as found in Proverbs 14:1. So, she is burnt out with taking care of the house, the children, her husband, and, in some cases, her career. 

At this point, I would like to restate that a husband's primary assignment is to love his wife unconditionally as himself and as Christ loves the church. While a wife is to build her home, her husband is to ensure that she is not overburdened doing so.

And then, Isaiah 40:31 tells us that those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. The first solution to avoiding burnout is to run to God and wait there till He does for you what you cannot do for yourself. Remember Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

For every assignment and task that God has entrusted to you to do, He has made provision for you to carry on those tasks stress-free if you are not relying on your effort but on God’s strength. The strategy for engagement without burnout is hidden in God, and once you find Him and ask, you will find that strategy. God did not bless you to stress you.

As Christian mothers, there is no singular rule or code that applies to all by which we can avoid burnout. But God is mindful of the peculiarity of each situation, and he is available to solve each individual situation, case by case. The situation in each home is different, and so the solutions will be different, and those solutions are found in God.

For example, I am a mother of four, living with my children in a different country from where my husband lives and works. This is not the ideal situation, but my husband is the sole provider for the family, and the economy of the world today has made us find ourselves in this situation.

For many years in my marriage, I have had the children with me while my husband works elsewhere. That has laid on me the responsibility of not just nurturing my children but also training them. Remember, I told you that the training of a child belongs to the father.

But what God did for me was that He prevented me from working without lacking in provision. I did not choose that for myself, but God did. I do not have much, but my needs are met. So, I can focus on the home without having a burnout. And that is why I am encouraging mothers not to carry the weight on their own effort but to lay the burden at the feet of Jesus.

My children are a bit grown now, and now the Lord is giving me the freedom to do other things that will generate income and keep me busy. I have written six books now, and I have a platform where I share encouragements, such as I am doing now.

In conclusion, even though I would have loved to give Christian mothers a specific trick or strategy on how to avoid burnout, the truth remains that there is no singular technique that works across the board. But you have God, who has a specific strategy perfectly fit for your specific situation. Run to Him, and He will lead the way.

He loves you too much to see you crushed under the weight that is bigger than you. He does not want you to burn out. 

If this message stirred something in your heart, don’t stop here. Here are books that go deeper into these truths—offering clarity, encouragement, and practical faith for real-life seasons. Each one was written to strengthen you where you are and help you walk forward with confidence in God. Explore the books and take the next step in your faith journey today. Click on the button below for details.

                                                    

How Do I Know God’s Will for My Life?

Knowing God’s will for your life depends on the area of your life you need understanding in. But in this blog, we will talk about the area of your life that relates to work and prosperity.

The first thing you need to know with regard to God’s will for your life is found in Jeremiah 29:11, and it says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” So, without letting your mind wander too far, the first encouragement that is sure and true is that God’s plans for you contain prosperity, hope, and a good future.

But there are moments and seasons of your life that feel like a crossroad experience. There are times you feel lost within yourself, and you just aren’t sure the direction your life is taking or should take. Those moments when you are trying to figure out your purpose in life, the career path you should follow, the kind of business to venture into, and you really would love to know the mind of God for your life in this matter.

I can relate to this because I have been there a million times over. As a grown woman, a wife, and a mother of four, I have very little time for myself, and I often wonder if I have a dream for my life, let alone pursuing such a dream, whatever that may be. So, this topic is one that I can personally relate to.

One of the surest ways of knowing God’s will for your life is by asking Him. Jeremiah 29:12-13 says, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” The first thing I am learning here is the need to be hungry for an answer. The posture of your heart when you seek God for answers says a lot about whether you get one or not.

Still on the issue of asking, Jeremiah 33:2-3 says, “This is what the Lord says, He who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it—the Lord is His name. ‘Call to me, and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’” With a heart hungry for answers and ready to receive, God is telling us to ask, and He will answer, and open up the mystery of who He has purposed us to be to us.

This is as straightforward as it can get, but there is a downside to it. How are we able to hear from God? What if what you are told by Him does not make sense? What if you cannot rationalise what you have heard?  

I think it is safe to say that if you have prayed and you have heard from God and you are convinced it is God speaking to you, then whatever you have heard, please pursue it and be diligent in it. But understand that God will not give you an assignment He has not equipped you for.

Exodus 31:1-6

Then the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability, and knowledge in all kinds of crafts—to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all craftsmanship. Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab, son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, to help him. Also, I have given skills to all craftsmen to make everything I have commanded you.

 From the scripture above, another convenient way to know God’s will for your life in terms of your life’s purpose is to be sensitive to your talents and abilities. What is it that God has given you skill, ability, and knowledge in? You know those things you are good at doing, and you excel in effortlessly; that is your purpose. That is God’s will for your life.

If you have been able to catch a glimpse of your special skill, ability, and knowledge, and you have prayed and have confirmed your purpose and direction with God, you need to understand that the prosperity that God promised may not manifest overnight. So, if you think you know your calling and things are not happening yet, please continue reading.

Proverbs 12:24 tells us that diligent hands rule. Diligence is not restricted to just working hard but working hard persistently. What this scripture is saying is that you need to put consistent effort into your craft to gain mastery of it before it begins to become profitable for you.

The fact that you tried a couple of times does not make it invalid. Understand the fact that God gave you the skill, but He will need to grow you into the skill, such that you understand and have knowledge in it to perfection, before showing you off to the world. Every skill and knowledge God gives you requires training.  

Jumping from one career field to another is a big time-waster. And so, you need clarity, which comes from prayer and your ability to hear from God, and then you need resilience, which is the training process to prosper in God’s will for your life. Consider your resilience and determination as the seed you need to sow in order to have the harvest of prosperity from the skill and ability that God has given you.

But one thing you should never do is consider that someone is prospering in their own area of ability and skill and covet that ability and pursue the skill without first asking God if that is His will for your life. In such a situation, no matter your resilience and determination, if God has not given you the skill for that trade, career, or purpose, you are just wasting your time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” And verse 11 says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Finally, Habakkuk 2:3 says, “For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end, and it will not prove false. Though it lingers, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.”

All the scriptures in the paragraph above speak of one thing—the time of the manifestation of skill. The skill, ability, and knowledge that God has given you are there to prosper you, but the timing of that prosperity is determined by God alone.

If there is a waiting season, then the waiting season is a training season. The resilience, persistent effort, and continuous hard work are seeds that precede the harvest. Without the seed, there is no harvest.

So, in answering the question “How do I know God’s will for my life?” The first thing is to pray. You need to pray with a hunger in your heart for an objective answer. You need to be sensitive to your special skill, ability, and knowledge—that ability that makes you take on some special tasks without getting bored. Then you need to put in persistent effort till it becomes a prosperous task for you.

If this message stirred something in your heart, don’t stop here. Here are books that go deeper into these truths—offering clarity, encouragement, and practical faith for real-life seasons. Each one was written to strengthen you where you are and help you walk forward with confidence in God. Explore the books and take the next step in your faith journey today. Click on the button below for details.

                                                    

 

Why is Living as a Christian So Hard?

Living as a Christian is often described as difficult, restrictive, or burdensome. But the first thing I would love to share is that living as a Christian is not as hard as it is perceived to be. Christian living is a total surrender and complete dependence on God kind of living.

Why this may appear as a struggle in the beginning of your decision to surrender all to God is that old habits and ways are not easy to let go of. But even at that, your love for God gently eliminates these habits from your life.

Ephesians 1:13-14 explains the foundation of Christian living in a beautiful way. First, you hear the gospel of Christ, which is the word of truth; then you believe. Your belief in the gospel of your salvation (the gospel of Christ) makes it possible for you to be sealed with the promised Holy Spirit.

Romans 8:11 reads like this: “But if the Spirit of Him (the promised Holy Spirit) who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.” Simply put,  when you choose to believe in Jesus, the same Spirit that was in Jesus is now in you. You have been sealed with that same Spirit.

When you let that same Spirit lead your life, Christian living will not be hard—not because challenges disappear, but because we are no longer carrying life on our own strength. Christian living is not a struggle, but where we begin to experience struggles as a Christian is when we start to challenge the leadership of the Spirit of God within us.

A lot of times, it seems as though where the Spirit of God is leading us through does not make logical sense. We don’t see the road in the path that the Holy Spirit is leading us through. Doubt sets in, and we abandon the leading of the Holy Spirit for our own rational thinking. 1 Corinthians 1:25 tells us that even the foolishness of God is wiser than any presumed wisdom a man can have.

The inability to trust the Spirit of God in us, even when it does not make sense to us, is one of the reasons why we will be tempted to conclude that living as a Christian is hard. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all our hearts, and lean not on our understanding. In all our ways, we should acknowledge Him, and He shall direct our paths.”

Proverbs 3:7-8 says, “Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.” Christian living is simply living your life in total trust in God.

The hard part of this lifestyle is your ability to trust God totally. And that can only be built with focus, determination, and discipline, and your deep knowledge of God and His word. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God (Romans 10:17)

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” This is the call to Christian living, and it does not sound hard to me.

Matthew 6:25-27 Jesus also says, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you, by worrying, can add one cubit to his stature? “

And He also says in Matthew 6:31-32 that “Therefore do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows you need all these things.”  Reading this further, we will see Jesus tell us to seek God first, and all these things will be added to us.

All of these promises, which are heavenly truths that will not fail, do not sound like living hard to me. So, Christian living is not a hard life. It’s a life that is heavy on trusting God and depending on Him, even when it does not make sense.

I have done my research, and I have not found a portion of the Bible that mandates God to make sense to us first for us to trust Him. In His deep love, He forgives our sins, sent His son to pay the price of our disobedience, even to the point of death. He has laid a pattern for us in Christ Jesus to show the possibility of living right. He has given us the same Spirit that was in Jesus. That is all the sense and logic we need.

When you ask God, He answers you (Matthew 7:7-11). It may not happen when you want it or how you want it. But guess what, He holds the time and seasons in His hands. He knows the perfect timing far more than you can think you know. He answers you at the perfect time. Even your troubles are tools in His hands to bring the greatness that you seek. He makes all things beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Christian living does not exempt us from trials and challenges. As a Christian, your faith will be tested, and your trust in God will be tested. In such moments, your faith is revealed—not because God doubts you, but because trials refine what you already believe. A challenge that cannot break you will only make you stronger.

Isaiah 40:29-31 tells us that God gives power to the weak and those without might, He increases strength. And then the scripture says those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. Your ability to wait on God in days of challenges renews your strength.

Trusting God in the midst of dire challenges can be a big task. When I go through such moments, what helps me through it is that I begin to recall all the times God has come through for me. So, I conclude that if He did it then, He’ll do it again.

And if it does not happen the way I want it, it’s because His idea is far better than mine. This approach has been most helpful to me. I have seen this truth play out in real life, even in deeply painful situations.

Someone very close to me was going through a hard time at work. He was being reported by an anonymous staff member for things he didn’t do. He was a target of racial profiling. He was investigated for all the allegations and was found innocent, but this anonymous person would not relent.

He threatened the company and reported to the highest level of management that if this person close to me was not fired, he would go to the radio station and damage the image of the company to the world. My friend was worried and asked that we pray together. So, we did.

To cut a long story short, the company decided to take legal action against the anonymous reporter. Suddenly, some of the suspected actors in the case began to resign voluntarily, and my friend was vindicated.

And I told my friend that what this issue has done is just to put your name in the right ears. At the level at which this case has gone, those who need to know your name will begin to hear it. Because at the time when God is ready to promote you, the groundwork would have been laid. Romans 8:28 tells us that all things work together for good to those who love God.

Christian living is not hard—it is a life of total dependence on a faithful God. It is trusting Him when the path is unclear, waiting when answers are delayed, and resting in the assurance that He will never fail. Those who trust in Him will never be put to shame.

If this message stirred something in your heart, don’t stop here. Here are books that go deeper into these truths—offering clarity, encouragement, and practical faith for real-life seasons. Each one was written to strengthen you where you are and help you walk forward with confidence in God. Explore the books and take the next step in your faith journey today. Click on the button below for details

                                                    

What Does the Bible Say About Marriage Struggles?

Genesis 2:18-25 tells the story of the establishment of the marriage institution. The last verse of this scripture says, “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” This is the genesis of marriage, a union that is birthed in trust, unity, and where there is nothing to be ashamed of between the husband and his wife.

Ephesians 5:22-33 gives us a detailed analysis of the rules of engagement in marriage. It tells us what God expects of the husband and his wife in marriage. The husband is to love his wife unconditionally and sacrificially in the manner in which Christ loves the church and died for her.

And the wife is to submit to her husband as unto the Lord. It is biblically established that the husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head of the church. But if Christ is the example of leadership that God has used, then we can all agree that the husband is expected to be a servant-leader and not a boss-leader. He is expected to lead through service and sacrifice. 

In Jeremiah 29:11, God says, “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” If God has said this concerning His plans and dealings towards us, then the marriage is not designed for struggles, even though challenges may arise in a fallen world.

When we talk about struggles in marriage, it can be seen in two ways. First, where there is no peace within the marriage and the husband and wife cannot seem to find a common ground for the marriage to exist, or where there are external struggles that the husband and wife have to deal with as a unit. This is more like us against the world.

In this blog, we will be looking at the two scenarios and trust God to help us understand how to deal with each situation Biblically. The first scenario that I want us to review, which I also think is more important, is the struggle within the marriage.

Genesis 2:23-24 tells us that the wife is bone of bone, and flesh of flesh to her husband. And it is declared that the man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. We find this same thing written in Malachi 2:15, Matthew 19:4-6, and Ephesians 5:31. The oneness of a man and his wife cannot be overemphasized, both in scriptures and reality.

While I will not undermine the struggles experienced in marriages, either by the wife or husband or both, attacking the struggle should not mean attacking one another. What God sees when it comes to marriage is not an individual man or woman, but a unit of one flesh and spirit existing in two physical bodies. And like Paul said in Ephesians 5:32, this is a great mystery.

The Bible in Ephesians 6:12 says, “We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” If your spouse is flesh and blood and not a spiritual host of wickedness, then they are not your enemy.

You have been convinced in the wrong direction, and you are fighting the wrong battle. While I do not encourage, support, or promote violence and abuse in marriages, whether physical or emotional abuse, the way you wage war against this struggle is very important.

While removing yourself from harm's way, you war against the spirit that is causing struggles in your life and marriage, rather than war against the one you should be warring with. Your spouse is flesh and blood, and if they have become a channel through which the devil is infiltrating your marriage and peace, the truth remains that they are not the real enemy.

They may be acting under deception or spiritual influence, but that does not remove responsibility for their actions. And we see God addressing this in Malachi 2:13-16 and 1 Peter 3:7

Again, I would repeat that while not putting yourself in harm’s way, your battle is against the spiritual forces exploiting brokenness, sin, or unhealed areas that affect your spouse, which is responsible for the struggles and chaos you are experiencing in your marriage. Praying for the deliverance of your spouse rather than waging war against your spouse is the actual fight that your marriage needs.

I know what it feels like to have such a struggle in marriage because I have experienced it before. I was convinced I needed to walk away for my own peace of mind. I assumed getting a divorce would free me from the heartache that I was going through. But I also asked God for His leading. I prayed about my situation with an open heart, ready for what God had to show me.

What I learned is what I am sharing with you in this blog post. Today I have a very beautiful marriage, and the love in my marriage has been restored. My marriage will be 22 years old in about a month, and the bond and love I share with my husband feel so strong and beautiful. I will tell you that it was not like this about 8 years ago.

The next marriage struggle we will be talking about is the challenges that couples face from external sources. The husband and the wife joined together as a unit, warring against an external force. And this kind of struggle or challenge is a lot easier to win than the one we just finished discussing.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 talks about this in a beautiful manner. It says two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. And then goes on to say that one may be overpowered, but two can withstand him. This is such a powerful truth because there is power in unity.

Deuteronomy 32:30 tells us how one can chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight. That arithmetic is only possible where there is unity, and your Rock is God. Matthew 18:19-20 sheds more light on this when Jesus declared that when two agree concerning anything, and they ask, it will be done for them by our Father in heaven.

These are the truths about struggles in marriage based on the Bible. God did not design marriages for struggles; what we see as struggles are attacks from spiritual forces of wickedness. They are not from God. And for every trial, God always makes a way of escape if we let Him take the lead and fight for us.

Your first concern as a married person is to fight for the unity, peace, and stability of your marriage. In good times and bad, you need to shield your marriage with prayers. Cover your spouse in prayer lest they become vessels that the real enemy uses to infiltrate your peace and engineer struggles into your marriage.

You have the word of God as your weapon. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 tells us that “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds.” That is what we have to war with, and we war against spiritual forces and not our spouses; instead, we war for and with our spouses. 

If this message stirred something in your heart, don’t stop here. My books go deeper into these truths—offering clarity, encouragement, and practical faith for real-life seasons. Each one was written to strengthen you where you are and help you walk forward with confidence in God. Explore the books and take the next step in your faith journey today. Click on the button below for details

                                                    

Why Does God Feel Silent When I Pray?

Jeremiah 33:2-3 says, “Thus says the Lord who made it, the Lord who formed it and established it (the Lord is His name): Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” This scripture was not the imagination of Jeremiah, nor his wishful thinking, but this was a declaration from God Himself through Jeremiah, and God does not lie, nor does He speak without doing (Numbers 23:19). So, why do we still feel unheard when we pray? Why does it appear as though God is silent when we pray to Him?

The big problem is not whether God is silent or not; the issue is whether we hear Him speak or not. If God says we should ask, and He will answer, and He is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man that He should repent; if He has spoken that He will make good His words, then the problem is not about God not speaking but about us not hearing.

Jesus said in John 10:27 that His sheep hear His voice, and He knows them, and they follow Him. So, two things we have established so far. First is that God speaks when we ask, and that the sheep of Jesus know His voice when He speaks, and they follow His leading.

So, there is no doubt about God speaking or not; Jesus already testified that there are people who have been able to recognize His voice, and He knows these people, and they follow His leading.

To the one who feels that God is silent when they pray, narrowing down to this problem is finding a way to be among the category of people who recognize the voice of God when He speaks and follow the voice of God. So, God is not silent; you probably are just not hearing Him.

Having the feeling that God is silent is not coming from God, but from you, the recipient, and this is not to your discredit. Many times, we assume God is silent because the way we expect an answer is not the way He answers.

So, we are probably searching for answers in a different direction from the one in which God is choosing to show up. The truth of the matter is that we can’t dictate God’s approach for Him; He chooses the what, the how, and the when by His sovereignty. And His ways are always perfect.

The second possible cause of us feeling like God is silent when we pray is that we allow our challenges and the noise of our problems and fears to overshadow the voice of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We let fear conquer our faith.

The miracles we seek need a substance of our faith to happen. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith we cannot please God, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Obtaining answers from God requires faith.

The Bible describes faith as the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). Making it simpler in my own words, faith is the confidence that when you pray, God will answer. When you ask, He will give. But how do we build this confidence? What does it take to have faith that commands answers from God?

Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. So, you build faith by consuming the word of God. God is a Spirit, and that is why we always say, “the Spirit of God.” When God speaks, He speaks to your spirit. Your spirit can only communicate effectively with the spirit of God when you feed it and keep it healthy. You can only keep your spirit healthy and alive when you feed it with the word of God. So, the food of your spirit is the word of God.

When Jesus speaks of His sheep, He is speaking of those who have fed their spirit fat with the word of God, and so hearing Him when He speaks is not a problem for them. Discerning is getting a leading from God in your spirit and acting out what you have heard in the physical. It all starts with the capacity of your spirit to be able to receive from the Spirit of God.

Another truth that I’d want to share with you is that not all answers from God are immediate. Remember that I shared earlier that He chooses the what, how, and when to answer your prayer. Sometimes you have to wait, and waiting is where the strength of your faith is tested.

In Habakkuk 2:2-4, God tells Habakkuk that the vision is for an appointed time, but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. The just shall live by faith.

Your trust and confidence in God should not be time-bound. If it is, you will miss your miracle. Your one resolve should always be that God will do it, because He has said He will answer, and He does not lie.

To wrap this up, I will share a personal story of faith that happened to me very recently. Just last month, I was very short on funds. I had spent all the money available to me, including from my credit card. I don’t have a job and no hope of how and when to pay back my credit card spending. So, I began to pray.

Now, the twist to this story is that the platforms on which I deployed my website charge a monthly subscription fee. Though it was just roughly CAD $70 monthly, hitting that on my credit card will send it to overdraft mode.

Without having a means of repayment and the threat of accruing interest charges sent me into panic mode. I needed to put money into my account before my next due date. I couldn’t discuss this with my husband because I was sure he would tell me to shut down the website and stop wasting money. That platform is my sweat and labor. I built it from scratch, and that is where I have all my blogs, books, and work.

It felt like God was silent when the days began to draw near, and it looked like nothing would happen. So, after a couple of days of silent worry and intense prayers, I gave myself some peace and told God whatever He wanted to do was fine by me.

The subscription fees hit my account, and the account went into overdraft mode. And the day after that, which happens to be my credit card due date, my husband told me to show him my bank balance without any prompting.

We didn’t pre-discuss; I didn’t disclose my issue with him, didn’t share that burden with him; I just laid it at the feet of Jesus and left it there. To cut a long story short, my husband transferred almost two thousand Canadian dollars into my account. Paid the credit card and handed me my phone. I only had $5 in overdraft charges.

Note that I was only praying for about $150 to clear my immediate mess. But God exceeded my expectations in His own way at His own time. Did it feel like God was silent? I can confidently tell you yes. Did this test my faith? That is another big YES. But by the time I had just a couple of hours before my subscription fee would hit my account, I had resolved to let God do for me what I cannot do for myself. I chose faith over fear.

In that situation, God didn’t speak to me; He spoke to the person who would do His bidding in my situation. Why did God wait till the very last minute before showing up, or should I say past the last minute as a matter of fact? That I would never know, but every day my faith grows by these little experiences that though it tarries, I should always wait for it because it will come to pass. God will never fail.

I pray that the Lord quietens every noise in your life and birth clarity in your spirit that you might hear and receive from clearly in Jesus’ name.

If this message stirred something in your heart, don’t stop here. My books go deeper into these truths—offering clarity, encouragement, and practical faith for real-life seasons. Each one was written to strengthen you where you are and help you walk forward with confidence in God. Explore the books and take the next step in your faith journey today. Click on the button below for details

                                                    

Marriage Is Not a Community Project: Why God Commands You to ‘Leave and Cleave’

Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This scripture will be the basis of today’s blog post. And the question that comes to mind here is, “Why is there a need for a man to leave his father and mother to join or cleave to his wife? What is the wisdom of God in this pattern when it comes to marriage?

A lot of us believe in the power of community. Community is good for networking, for sharing ideas, for getting your way around situations, but when it comes to marriage, God says, “Leave community behind.” As a matter of fact, God says, leave father and mother behind and bond with your wife and become one flesh with her.

The truth of the matter is that a man who is not ready to leave his father and mother and his community behind when it comes to the issue of marriage is actually not ready for marriage. Unlike some issues in our lives, such as financial networking, marriage is not a community affair. It is strictly a private journey that only requires the participation of the husband, his wife, and the almighty God.

The next thing we are looking at as we inquire about why the Lord would instruct that a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, is the critical role a wife plays in the life of her husband. Going by what the scripture says in Proverbs 18:22, that he who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from God, we can conclude that a wife is the embodiment of God’s favor in the life of a man.

My interpretation of Proverbs 18:22 is that all the favor a man would need in life is what God has packaged together and deposited in the life of his wife and then handed that wife to him as his suitable helper. With that being said, from the point of marriage onwards, all the favor a man needs to succeed is embedded in his wife. The role of the community is not ruled out, but it is secondary to the union of marriage. In fact, in some cases, it is a distraction from God's plan and agenda for marriage.

There is a distinction between the role of parents and community in a man’s life and the role of his wife in his life. In Genesis 18:19, we learned that God chose Abraham because He knew that Abraham would command, train, and teach his children to keep the way of the Lord. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

The roles parents play in the life of a man are to teach, train, and direct. This continues until the man is grown. When a man is married, the influence of his parents in his life drops. When a well-trained man gets old, and he has been given a wife from the Lord, the role of his parents in his life drops to being just advisers. And this is the point where the Lord tells the man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife because that stage of his life has elapsed.

The next phase of his life is where he journeys with his suitable helper, his God given destiny helper. Since we have established that a man’s wife is the embodiment of God’s favor in his life, then she, who is the container of his favor, now moves around with him, carrying in her the God-given favor for his life.  

At the point where the role of the parents dwindles is the point where the role of the wife kicks off. A man who is still influenced so much by his parents, like one who is still in the training phase of his life, is either not well-trained or not grown enough for the next phase of development and destiny pursuit along with his wife.  

We might wonder if the analysis that we have given of a man is equally applicable to a woman. The moment a woman becomes married, the authority over her life shifts from her parents to her husband. Her submission is to her husband and no longer to her parents.

The influence of her parents over her life becomes that of voluntary advisory in nature. It is then apparent that the wife leaves her parents and cleaves to the one who now holds the authority over her life and to whom she is to submit. A woman who is a favor carrier for a man is expected to be within the reach of the man for whom she carries the favor in her.

In an earlier paragraph, I had likened the marriage institution to the call of God on the life of Abraham when God asked him to leave his father’s household to proceed on a journey on which only God knew the destination. When God told Abraham to proceed on the journey, the only companion he was allowed to have was his wife, who was his favor carrier. Wherever Abraham goes, Sarah also goes.

The presence of an external factor in the journey of Abraham in the person of Lot only created conflicts. Genesis 13:5-7 tells us that the land which was originally planned by God for only Abraham became too small for Abraham and Lot, and so disputes began. In the same manner, your marriage is a promised land for you alone. Any external factor makes the land too small and is just a recipe for disputes.

To enjoy a beautiful and peaceful marriage, you will need to ensure that the journey is just for you and your wife. No external factors, no matter who they are or how close they are to your heart, as long as they are not your wife, they are not allowed on the journey of your marriage. And this is also applicable to the wives.

If there are issues in your home, pray to God. If you don’t have clarity, seek godly counsel and ensure that the advice you are receiving is based on the truth of the Bible and it aligns with the Spirit of God within you. Don’t let people tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear.

If this message stirred something in your heart, don’t stop here. My books go deeper into these truths—offering clarity, encouragement, and practical faith for real-life seasons. Each one was written to strengthen you where you are and help you walk forward with confidence in God. Explore the books and take the next step in your faith journey today. Click on the button below for details

                                                    

Why Your Husband Wants to Show You Off — And Why That’s Not a Sin

The book of Esther is a book of many parts and many lessons to glean from. But it is my favorite book when I want to talk about the beauty of a queen. As a wife, you are a queen in your husband’s kingdom and never think of yourself as any less.

The book of Esther tells us the story of how King Ahasuerus showed off his dynasty to the powers of Media and Persia and the nobles and princes of the provinces within his jurisdiction. So, when the heart of the king was merry, he decided to show off his crown jewel, his queen. So, he ordered that his beautiful queen Vashti be brought wearing her royal crown to show off her beauty because she was lovely to behold.

The interesting thing about this story is that God did not condemn the action of this king. So, it wasn’t that the demand was categorized as evil. The king, who is proud of his beautiful queen, wanted to show her off to the world. All men, like King Ahasuerus, would love to display their lovely wives and queens to the world, and that is the purpose of today’s blog.  

As a wife, I want you to know one thing today, and that is, your husband is and should be proud of you, and he would love to show you off to the world if you let him. It is not wrong for him to want to do that. And as a wife, you should feel some level of self-pride (I mean this as a confident builder and not the negative form of pride) if your husband is willing to show you off. This simply tells you that you have something valuable to him about you that is worth showing to the world.

The second chapter of the book of Esther details the 12 months of preparation that the young virgins had to be put through before being presented before the king to take a pick in replacement of Queen Vashti, whom he had banished.

It is important to note that these young virgins were initially beautiful because they would have been among the most attractive picks from the provinces of the kingdom. Yet, they still had to go through a 12-month beauty regimen. Why would this detailed beauty practice be included in the Bible?

While some may consider this as just storytelling, I see a lesson for women in this chapter, and that is the importance of taking care of your physical body and your appearance. Even the most beautiful woman would require some level of upkeep to retain that beauty. And spending time and resources on taking care of your beauty modestly and naturally is very important for a woman.  

The virgins were groomed with oils and perfumes to enhance their already beautiful body to make them appealing to the king, and the Bible didn’t call that a sin. So, we should understand that taking extra care of your body in a natural and modest manner is a good thing. The Lord has given you the beauty, but it is your responsibility to ensure that the beauty is kept and retained.

A beauty that is not well taken care of is a beauty that fades. So, it is possible to be regarded as once beautiful but no longer beautiful because the beauty has faded. That is a beauty that was not well taken care of. Deliberate actions are not taken to maintain and retain such beauty.

What about after getting married? Do you need to expend as much resources and time in maintaining your beauty as you did before marrying, since you have nothing to prove anymore? This is a perilous assumption to make. You need to retain your personal beauty in equal strength, if not more, after getting married. There will be shifts in your life after getting married, but never allow a change in the way you take care of yourself after you get married.

I started this blog post with King Ahasuerus wanting to show off his lovely queen to the princes and nobles of the provinces under his reign. If Queen Vashti had stopped taking care of herself or maintaining her beautiful appearance, would the king want to show her off? The reason the king was so proud to show off his queen was that she never stopped being beautiful. Even after she became a queen, she did not relent in retaining her physical beauty.

In Genesis 12:10-11, Abraham, upon entering the land of Egypt, told his wife, Sarah, to lie about being his wife, but to claim that she was his sister, because she was beautiful. She was so beautiful that words reached the king of Egypt about her beauty, and he took her as his wife.

Let’s remember that Sarah was not young; she was not just beautiful because God made her beautiful. But she was so beautiful even in old age because she took very good care of her physical appearance and beauty. She made a conscious effort to retain her God given beauty. She took care of herself so well that even after 80 years of age, King Abimelech took her as his wife when in fear, Abraham repeated the mistake me made in Egypt.

The same goes for the story of Rebecca, the wife of Isaac. Rebecca must have inherited the beauty regimen of her mother-in-law, as she was not just beautiful by the making of God, but by her effort in retaining the gift of beauty given to her by God. Just as the case of Sarah in Genesis 20, King Abimelech also took Rebecca as his wife when Isaac, for reasons of fear, lied that she was his sister, following the path of his father Abraham.

As a wife, you are the queen in your husband’s life. Your duty is not limited to taking care of your household or being a suitable helper to your husband, but you owe yourself and your husband the duty of taking care of your God given beauty. As your husband’s queen, you should be a woman of value who is an embodiment of God’s favor in the life of your husband, but you should also be a piece of beauty that your husband is proud to show off to the world.

A wife should take very good care of her physical appearance, her beauty, her health, as well as ensuring that she remains a suitable helper to her husband. In ensuring that a wife maintains her outward beauty, she needs to ensure that she maintains her inner beauty. Her inner beauty of submission, compassion, hard work, diligence, prayerfulness, and discernment are beautiful traits a wife needs to have and also retain.

Even though I have said so much about maintaining the physical appearance of a queen, this must be done in moderation and modesty. These efforts of retaining beauty are to be done within the confines of what makes your husband comfortable. This is not for another man, but for your husband. It is to keep the physical attraction in the marriage alive always.

When your husband is uncomfortable with the way you look or dress, it is essential to address his concerns and make a change in whatever efforts you are making with regard to your outward beauty. In marriage, there needs to be a balance, while not neglecting your inner beauty, your outward beauty is essential to look after.

Your effort should be within the confines of what your husband is comfortable with and what builds your own self-esteem. You owe yourself the duty of looking good always, which should be done modestly and in moderation. 

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