It's another beautiful day and another glorious opportunity to learn a thing or two from today’s blog. I pray that by the power of the living God, today’s blog post will impact your life positively in Jesus name.
Last weekend I was invited to give a talk on the issue of marriage in a Church’s Men’s Convention and the wives were invited. I was invited to talk about marriage from a wife’s point of view. During the question and answer session, one of the questions that were asked inspired me to write a message on it. The question is this, “What about wives who have tried several times to give their husbands huge sums of money to start up a business in order to assist him in his responsibility as a breadwinner and all he has done is to squander the money with nothing to show for it. In this case what should or can the wife do again.”
As a wife we are the suitable helper to our husbands, that is a God-given assignment and we will give account to God on how well we have performed. But in fulfilling this assignment we need wisdom from God and we need to connect with the Spirit of God always in everything we do. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Before you plan to or actually give your husband money to start off any business, did you pray about it first? Did ask God if that was the right thing to do or the God-approved way to help your husband?
This is where we miss the mark; it is very correct that we as wives are God’s suitable helper to our husbands, but where to help and how to help is a matter we need to constantly seek the face of God for, so we don’t run a fruitless race on the issue of marriage. A lot of times we need to put our emotions on hold and seek the face of God before we act. When you decide to pump money into the life of your husband without prior seeking God to know if it’s the right step to take, you do what you do on your own wisdom which is limited, and the end result of such action is not guaranteed.
I am a very big advocate of a wife financially assisting her husband when the need arises, but it is important that you put the matter before the Lord first and seek His direction on how to go about it before taking the step. Unless your husband demands your help on financial matters and as a wife under submission you are compelled by the Spirit of God in you in obedience to the word of God to submit to your husband and obey his instruction and release funds to him, you should not on your thoughts begin to pump money into the life of your husband without first seeking God’s thought on the matter.
As a wife, there are a lot of areas where you should and must help your husband be better than you met him that has little or nothing to do with money. The success of your marriage should not have money as a catalyst or a prerequisite factor. And so, as a wife, you should not assume in your mind that your husband will love you more or be a better husband to you because you lavish him with money. If that is what you think and work with, frustration may await you at the end of the day. When you don’t have money as you used to, then the marriage dies a natural death.
Let me tell a personal story at this point. About 11years ago the financial life of both my husband and I was in a very terrible state. When we got married I was earning more and so I had more to put in the family wallet, and shortly after we got married I lost my job. And then I began to pray. One of my prayer points for my husband was that God should provide him with all that he needs to be a good husband to me and a good father to our children. So the wisdom he needs, the financial resources, the moral-upstanding and whatever else I could think of to mention in my prayer and those I didn't have the knowledge to mention, I asked the Lord to provide all for my husband.
Some years later, my husband saw a job advert in the newspaper and he wrote an application for the job and brought it home to me to help him post in the post-office. Before leaving for the post-office I prayed on the application and entered into a covenant with God over that application that I want to give a testimony on it. My husband never knew that I prayed, neither did he know that I made a covenant with God concerning the application letter he gave me to post.
Two weeks after I posted the application letter he was called for an interview and then after another week, he was called for a second interview and then a week after that he was called for a third interview and wage negotiation and he indeed got the job to the glory of God. Now, I helped my husband as his suitable helper because all through the course of the series of interviews, I never stopped praying and when he came back home with not-to-good stories of how the interview went, I didn’t let it shake my faith. Today, 10years later, he is the head of the factory of the company. He has grown through the ranks, I didn’t help him with money, I didn’t have to try to set him up in a business of any kind, but I helped him on my knees with prayers. What he has attained with my prayers no amount of money that I could give him could have enabled him to attain such. In fact, the kind of money he has is what I am still trusting God for in my account (lol).
So, I conclude with this, don’t bother to play God in the life of your husband in the name of helping him. Giving him money to start a business or for him to get on his feet and stand as a man as the society understands it to be, may not be the solution to the problem. But when you pray always for your husband and seek direction from God on the way to go about helping him you will achieve more as his suitable helper than you can ever think or dare to achieve with your limited wisdom or even enormous wealth.
The very first ever Couple’s Clinic is happening on the 1st of December 2018 and it going to be breathtaking. So much to learn in ensuring that your marriage is a beautiful success. Mr. Deji Irawo is a male mentor like no other. When I listened to him speak I realized I was still a learner when it comes to men’s issues and he is part of the couple’s clinic team. You can’t afford to miss this. But we have very limited space and so you will need to register to be a part of this. It is absolutely FREE for attendance, but you will have to book a seat by sending a message with your name, telephone number and email address to 08030467047. Or you register at https://thewordthatsuits.com/couples-clinic-registration/