God's Purpose for Sex In Marriage

1 Corinthian 7:2-5 (NIV)

But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Sex in marriage is a topic that is mostly avoided in Christian discussions. If we run through most church topics and most of the topic discussed in most Christian gathering we will notice that sex hardly feature. Yet this singular issue is silently affecting most marriages and even causing break-ups in a lot of homes. In view of this, I think it will do our marriages a lot of good to find out what the mind of God is and what the Bible says about this topic.

I very well understand that sex in marriage can be adequately regarded as a very private issue but if it is becoming a tool in the hands of satan to destroy the marriage the Lord has established, then it's worth gaining insight on and to understand if we are erring on this topic and at what point is satan taking advantage of our ignorance on this issue.

There are quite a lot of places in the Bible where we can find insight on the issue of sex in marriage, mostly when we go through the book of Songs of Songs written by king Solomon and also something was also said about it in Proverbs 5 which I will most likely make reference to in the course of writing this, but the one that directly speaks of the topic explicitly is the passage above. 

The first address Paul made in this passage to the married man and woman is that the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife should fulfill her marital duty to her husband. What this tells me is that sex in marriage between a duly married man and his wife, and between a duly married woman and her husband is a duty that should be fulfilled. It is a common thing that a lot of woman, definitely not all are not inclined to sex. I went through the same struggle in my marriage until I came across this passage and I began to pray. My husband had commented a couple of times about my attitude towards sex and I shoved it off as an immoral line of discussion. But when I came across what Paul said about this issue in marriage I knew I needed God's intervention to fulfill this duty well enough.

It is good to dissuade the youth and unmarried people against premarital sex, noting that premarital sex is wrong. But sex between married couples is ideal, it's important and it a duty that must be fulfilled. As couples if there are issues in this area of your marriage, it's not a thing to shove off, it's worth all the attention needed to be given to it. It's a matter worthy to be prayed about. You might not necessarily want to discuss your sex life with anyone, but it's worth discussing with God.

Another point Paul made clear to the married couple is that as a married man your body does not solely belong to you, but it also belongs to your wife. And in the same way, as a married woman, your body does not solely belong to you, but also to your husband. Personally I found this piece of information very revealing because there had been several occasions that I had forbid my husband to touch me, either because we were having a quarrel or that I was too tired, and because I felt I was a born-again Christian and my husband is still in the process of finding his feet in Christ I thought I was right and was very justified with my actions. You just cannot imagine how guilty I felt when I stumbled on this passage. But I bless God that He is helping me take steps to correct this in my marriage. Your husband has every right to your body because you belong to him and you are one with him. In the same manner, your wife has every right to your body because you belong to her and you are one with her in flesh and spirit. No one but God designed and established it so.

And then finally Paul says "do not deprive one another except for mutual consent for a time," that shows that abstinence from sex between married couple should only happen with the mutual consent of both parties for a time. The avoidance of sex between married couples should not happen over a long period of a time, and both parties should be in agreement for this to take place. I don't know if I am the only one getting some interesting revelations about some things that should be cared for in our marriage to strengthen the tie, but I am positive that God is opening up the minds of His people to things they might be ignorantly doing wrong that is encouraging a strain in their marriage. 

Sex in marriage is a spice that I believe the Lord infused into marriage not just for procreation or reproduction, but that God gave this additive in marriage to be enjoyed and to encourage a firm bonding between the man and his wife. 

Proverbs 5:18-19

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 

A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breast satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. 

Solomon talking about a man and his wife in this passage I believe was talking about the sexual relationship between them. But he was not speaking of sex in term of procreation but as thing to be enjoyed and get satisfaction from. Now when a thing that has been infused in your marriage that is supposed to generate satisfaction for you, becomes a thing you are being deprived of or you absolutely do not get the intended satisfaction from it for whatever reason, then it is worth praying about, and so Paul says "so that satan will not tempt you." The lapse of sex in marriage or the absolute lack of it is a dangerous trend that satan is capable of taking advantage of in your marriage and home and so there is the need to think it through and pray about it.

I will want to emphasize at this point that the marriage under consideration, is the marriage between a man and a woman as the Lord intended it at the beginning. I do not advocate for same sex marriages, because it  is totally against the design of God for marriage. It is ungodly and I do not support what the Lord hates. 

In truth I feel really reserved writing about this topic, but from nowhere I find myself typing this post and I believe the Lord wants to touch a marriage and heal a home suffering under the ignorance of what is been discussed in this post, and I pray that indeed marriages will be healed and divorce certificates destroyed by reason of the revelation of God's truth about sex in marriage.

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You Are Too Blessed to Be Cursed

Number 22:12 (NIV)

But God said to Balaam, "Do not go with them. You must not put a curse on those people, because they are blessed."

Number 23:7-8, 18-23 (NIV)

Then Balaam uttered his oracle:

"Balak brought me from Aram, the king of Moab from the eastern mountains. 'Come, ' he said, 'curse Jacob for me; come, denounce Israel.' How can I curse those whom God has not cursed? How can I denounce those whom the Lord has not denounced? 

Then he uttered his oracle:

"Arise, Balak, and listen; hear me, son of Zippor. God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless: he has blessed, I cannot change it.

"No misfortune is seen in Jacob, no misery observed in Israel. The Lord their God is with them. God brought them out of Egypt; they have the strength of a wild ox. There is no sorcery against Jacob, no divination against Israel. It will now be said of Jacob and of Israel, 'See what God has done!'  

My last post was about the hedge of God over the life of Job, and it was a comforting revelation for me to know that over my life as a child of God satan has and knows that he has his boundaries when it comes to my case. I am so very positive that it is exactly the same for all true Christians who have been bought over by the blood of Jesus.

We are all seeds of Abraham by virtue of the our believing and receiving of Jesus as our Lord as we have learnt in Galataians 3:26-29, so what we are reading in the passages above is actually not a thing limited to the Israelites of old, but that this is a true fact for all the true sons and daughters of God. 

The very comforting truth is that concerning your blessings and protection God is not in the business of changing His mind. If there is any impossibility in existence, it is the fact that you cannot be cursed. Never mind the challenges and trials you are facing. They can be very uncomfortable I agree, even Hebrews 12:4-11, tells us that God's discipline and training are painful at the time we are going through them, but they are there to train us and leave. But that any authority, principality or power under heaven can curse you, that is an impossible thing. No-one has the ability to upturn what God has established. It is a fact that you are blessed and cannot be cursed by virtue of your right as a child of God through your faith in Jesus. 

Principalities may try, but the truth is that there is no sorcery against your life, there is no divination against your destiny and no-one can curse you when the Lord has delighted in you to bless you. When you life is well rooted in Christ then the next thing is to carry-on in the obedience to God's commands with the boldness that as a child of God your life is firmly secured in Christ. The Lord has not given us the spirit of fear, but of boldness, of power and of love. You are indeed to blessed to be cursed. 

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You Have God's Hedge Over Your Life

Job 1:9-10 (NIV)
“Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. 

There are some hidden truths in the Bible that only takes the revelation of God to bring them to the open, and of such hidden truth is the passage above. We have read a lot about the protection of God in the Bible, but what I understand about the passage above gladdens my heart.

I am most certain that Job was not aware of the conversation that the Lord had with satan concerning his life, but the Lord will have this recorded in the Bible for the benefits of us in this lifetime so that we might have a glimpse of what goes on there sometimes.

The statement satan made about God’s cover of protection over the life of Job is something worth considering. By virtue of Job’s righteous walk with the Lord, he had the hedge of God over his life, his household and everything he has. Satan attested to the fact that God blessed him and all that he had. 

This is not a truth restricted to Job alone. This is the revelation of God to those who have diligently walked with Him. The Lord God Almighty has placed a hedge over the life of the righteous, over their household and everything they have. And so the Bible says that “say to the righteous that it shall be well with him.”

It does not  matter that you might not see the hedge, but the prince of the world and the powers of darkness know and understand that as a child of God walking righteously before the Lord they cannot mess with your life; you are a no-go area for them. The Lord is certain about what he has placed around your life when He said in Isaiah 41:10-12 that “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.” 

This passage is so because just like Job you have a hedge around your life, there is the protection of God around you and all that is your. The beautiful things is that the Lord did not forget your flocks and even the works of your hands He is mindful enough to bless. 

A lot of times we go through life’s struggles, challenges come and the testing of faith occurs every once in a while, but that has not nullified the truth of the word of God that your have God’s hedge round you and all that is yours. If you do not have a peculiar case like that of God, then the only other thing that can remove God’s hedge off your life is sin. But for as long as you remain a man that fears the Lord, the hedge of God is around you and all that is yours. Please always rest in this confidence. That is why the Bible tells us that when the enemy comes at us like a flood, the Lord God Almighty raises a standard against them. So be of good cheer because in truth you have the hedge of God around your life. 

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Worship

Job 1:20-21

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:

"Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I shall depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."

In my walk with the Lord, I have come to understand that there is a difference between worship and rejoicing, just as there is a difference between happiness and joy. It took me having a personal experience with God and the challenges of life to come to the knowledge of this truth. 

What it was that made Job fall to the ground to worship God in the face of the very many and heavy calamities that befall him is what finding out, this for sure will definitely help us in our upright walk with the Lord. When we look through the personality of the man Job from Job 1:1-8, we will see a very upright man who has walked diligently with the Lord all of his life. His wealth and busy schedule never took the place of God in his life. He walked with the Lord so well that God Himself made a proud declaration over the life of this man called Job.

Another thing that we need to be mindful of is that, Job was not aware of all that was going on in heaven over his life. He didn't know that satan was on an evil mission over his life. But what I have learnt about this man Job is that no matter the level of calamity that befell him, He didn't hold God responsible for his misfortunes. We are all away that nothing happens without the knowledge of God, but how Job was able to worship God in the middle of all that happened to him is a factor that builds around a strong relationship and love that had developed between Job and God over a period of time. 

The strong and unwavering relationship that existed between Job and God was one characterized by TRUST. Job trusted God enough to understand that God will not allow this calamity to befall him if it was leading to nowhere. The calamity was painful no doubt; the Bible records that Job tore his cloths and shaved his head, but still he fell face down and worshiped.

The act of worship is not one characterized by our circumstances, it is not determined by the good or bad experiences we have, it is not subject to our ability. It is not just about the songs we sing in church or at home. But true worship is brought to play by the knowledge of Who we know God to be in our lives. You are able to worship God in all circumstances whether good or bad when you have developed a strong relationship with Him. Your walk with God determines how well you are able to worship God even when things are not working favourably for you.

The Bible says those who worship God, worship Him in truth and in spirit, this is so because worship to God is not determined by issues of the physical. But it is the bonding in the Spirit between God and His children that is expressed in worship. 

Job had learnt to bond with God over time, he had learnt to connect with God as he walked uprightly with Him diligently. And when those calamities befell him, it was easy to run to God to bond again with Him irrespective of what he was going through or whether or not God could have averted the situation. The initial focus for Job was not to know who was behind his problem or what could have caused the problem, but the dear need to bond with God even at that very dear time and the Bible said he worshiped. 

The test of true worship is when you have learnt to worship God in truth and in spirit irrespective of the situation you find yourself. Then you look beyond the challenges and struggles you are facing and you look to Jesus and just the knowledge of God in your life brings you to the point of worship. When you have grace the grace to truly worship God in all circumstances, your challenges are getting close to their expiry date because God will not allow you to trust Him in vain.

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God Loves Me

John 1:12-13
Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to be called sons of God - children born not of natural descent nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

This is one of my best Bible passages. For me this passage more than shows the grace of God offered for free. To have the whole world at your beck and call, being a child of the most high King, the Maker of the heaven and earth, simply through faith in Jesus is something that beats the best imagination of satan himself. 

First to think that God in His love will bring down His one and only son, who without sin heaped the sins of the whole world on Himself and then put them all to death by the shedding of His own blood is really a deep thing to consider. Too awesome to comprehend and too good not to appreciate.  

In recent times, the Lord has done so much to rebuild my marriage and restoring my husband's love to me. We've been having a very great time as husband and wife and I really do love to be loved by him. But this is just a shadow of the love of God for me. It is as though the Lord is trying to show me a bit of what his love is like with a vivid example through my husband.

But the love of my husband is just a vague example of the love God has for me and for many who truly are His sons and daughters through their faith in Jesus. God's love is far deeper and weightier than the love of my husband that has so swelled my heart. The Lord loves me enough to give His son to die for me, He loves me enough to forgive all of my sins, He loves me enough take away my cares, He love me enough to clear my diseases and sicknesses, He loves me enough to provide for all of my needs and wants, He loves me enough to protect me. And even the battles that I don't even know exist, He fights and wins them all for me. The Lord loves not just me, but He loves my husband and loves my children too. And then in the same manner, He loves my parents and siblings. And He loves YOU. All at a simple price of faith in Him, receiving and believing in His son. He has asked nothing else of me but just to receive and believe in Jesus. 

God does not love me alone like this, He loves all who just like me have received and believed in His son, obeying the His commands and requirements which also is made possible just through my receiving and believing in Jesus Christ. Is there anything more I can say to this than just to appreciate this God who has loved me so. I can't love God half as much as He loves me, I just pray daily that I will not fall out of His love for me. I need His love for my daily existence.  

Have You Learnt The Secret of Giving?

Exodus 34:20b (NIV)
No-one is to appear before me empty-handed.

Exodus 35:4-9, 21, 29 (NIV)
Moses said to the whole Israelites community, “This is what the Lord has commanded: From what you have, take an offering for the Lord. Everyone who is willing is to bring to the Lord an offering of gold, silver and bronze, blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen; goat hair; ram skin dyed red and hides of sea cows; acacia wood; olive oil for the light; spices for the anointing oil and for the fragrance incense; and onyx stones and other gems to be mounted on the ephod and breastpiece. 

And everyone who was willing and whose heart moved him came and brought an offering to the Lord for the work on the Tent of Meeting, for all its services, and for the sacred garments.

All the Israelite men and women who were willing brought to the Lord freewill offerings for all the work the Lord through Moses had commanded them to do. 

Exodus 36:3-7 (NIV)
They received from Moses all the offerings the Israelites had brought to carry out the work of constructing the sanctuary. And the people continued to bring freewill offerings morning after morning. So all the skilled craftsmen who were doing all the work on the sanctuary left their work and said to Moses, “The people are bringing more than enough for doing the work the Lord commanded to be done.”
Then Moses gave an order and they sent this word throughout the camp: “No man or woman is to make anything else as an offering for the sanctuary.” And so the people were restrained from bringing more, because what they already had was more than enough to do all the work. 

I am not sure the people of God in our generation understand well enough the secret behind giving unto the Lord. When we go through the passages above we will notice some things that I will like to highlight. 1) The offering requested by the Lord was a freewill offering, it was not one of the compulsive prescribed offering under the law; 2) The offering was only made by those whose heart moved them to and who were willing, and so there was no cajoling of any kind. An instruction was made and people responded willingly. 3) The people gave continuously until they were eventually restrained from giving.
One question I will want us to ponder on in these passages is: “Why is it that the people never stopped giving even after all that was needed for the construction work had been adequately provided for until Moses restrained them from giving more?” I suppose these people knows more about the secret of giving that we need to discover.

Malachi 2:10
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”

One of the secret of giving is found in the passage above. You can never give unto God without receiving back in multiple fold of what you have given. Some may argue that this passage only applies to tithing and not freewill offering as in the case in the book of Exodus, so we will take a look at another Bible passage.  

Proverbs 3:9-10
Honour the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.

The secret of giving lies in your ability to honour God with what you have. Giving to God is a tangible reflection of what you feel in your heart for God. The weight of your offering is directly proportion to who God is to you. The widow in the book of Luke 21:1-4 gave all she had to live on because that was how much God meant to her. If you say to love the Lord, then show it by what you have to give up in reflection of that love.
When you honour the Lord with your wealth, you are making an investment with God that must surely yield returns because God never owes. That is the secret the children of Israel in the book of Exodus knew that moved them to keep giving. They were making their investment in God that was sure to yield returns to them in multiple folds of what they had given.
Luke 6:38 says “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” This is the secret of giving, and when you give to the Lord this principle will surely not fail over your seed. You can never trade with the Lord and loose, the Lord will personally watch over your investment to ensure it yields returns to you in a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over manner.
When you are tired of living in lack, then learn to make your investment with God. The widow of Zarephath made such an investment and she and her household were well fed and taken care of all through the drought period. Don't wait till you have a big seed to sow, saw the little that you have. The widow in the book of Luke gave all she had to live on even though it was small and so did the widow of Zarephath. The children of Israel didn’t stop giving and they never lacked. Learn the secret of giving today, sow your seed of love in God today, when you cast your bread upon the waters, after many days it will return to you.

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The Presence of God

Exodus 33:10-11, 12-19 (NIV)
Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshipped, each at the entrance to his tent. The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young assistant Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.

Moses said to the Lord, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favour with me.’ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favour with you. Remember that this nation is your people.”
The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”
And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”
Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”
And the Lord said to Moses, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.” 

Exodus 34:29
When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord.

There is something about the Presence of God that requires us giving it a major attention as Christians. A lot of times we get so familiar with God that we totally forget to seek His presence in our lives daily. One thing that caught my attention in the passages above is Moses attitude towards the Presence of God. True the Lord had directed him to continue on the journey and lead the children of Israel to the Promised Land, but that was just not enough for Moses. He understood that he needed God with him on that assignment.
When we read through the beginning of Exodus 33, from verses 1-9, we will see God giving an instruction to Moses to move on and that He the Lord will send an angel to go with them and He will destroy the occupants of the land that He swore to their fathers. When Moses was going to respond, he spoke as though the Lord had to mentioned to him who will go on the journey with him. The presence of the angels were good no doubt, but not good enough for Moses and definitely not good enough for me.
Moses in vs 16 said “How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?” That goes a long way to show us that the presence of God in our lives makes all the difference. It is the Presence of God in your life that shows the world that indeed the Lord is pleased with you. It is the Presence of God in your life that distinguishes you from others and makes you stand out in the crowd. Not the presence of angels but the Presence of God. I so dearly seek for the Presence of God in my life today and always.
When your way pleases the Lord, He fills you with His Presence. No matter what the devil holds up for you, it can’t stand or withhold the Presence of God that you carry. In Genesis 28:10-15, the Lord visited Jacob in the dream and in verse 15, promised that He the Lord will be with him and watch over him wherever he went. And so we see Jacob carrying with him the Presence of God everywhere he went. By the virtue of the Presence of God in his life, he was a very blessed man. He was so much of a blessed man that he became a blessing to others. His master Laban prospered so much just because of Jacob and the Presence of God in the life of Jacob.
Genesis 39:2 reads “The Lord was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master.” Genesis 39:21 reads “The Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favour in the eyes of the prison warder.” Joseph was one man that moved around with the Presence of God in his life. He was sold to slavery yet he carried in him the Presence of God, and his prospered. He prospered so much that he poured out prosperity to his Egyptian master. Again to the prison, Joseph still carried in him the Presence of God. Joseph was not limited by his circumstances and his situation did not hinder the fact that he carried the Presence of God in him. That Presence of God in his life was faithful enough to lead him to the palace.
 1 Samuel 16:18 reads, “One of the servants answered, ‘I have seen a son of Jesse of Bethlehem who knows how to play the harp. He is a brave man and a warrior. He speaks well and he is a fine-looking man. And the Lord is with him.’” This is how David was classified by one of the servants of Saul. The classification that I like the most is the one that reads “and the Lord is with him.” David was identified by the Presence of God in his life. He was distinguished and he stood out from the crowd by virtue of the Presence of God in his life. He stood bold to confront Goliath not because he had the ability or strength, but because he carried the Presence of God in him; thus he was able to make his boast in the strength of the Lord. No wonder Moses will say that “how will the people know that you are pleased with us unless you go with us, what else will distinguish us from all the people on the face of the earth?” Now David stood out by virtue of the Presence of God and nothing else. Can you see why God will say of David, “I have found a man after my heart.” God was so pleased with David that He filled him with His Presence.  
 Above all else, you need to seek the Presence of God in your life, that presence that guarantees peace, joy, blessings, success, pleasures forever more, victory in all life’s battles, healing and good health. There is no match for the Presence of God in the life of a child of God. That is what stands you out among all the other people. That is what shows the world that indeed the Lord is pleased with you.
When you have been given an assignment to do by God, please do not stay content with the angel going with, seek the Presence of God to see you through it. When you carry in you the Presence of God you radiate the glory of God in your life. And even though you don’t see it, all those around you will see and know that indeed you carry in you the Presence of God. I just seek your ever glowing Presence in my life daily my faithful Father and God.

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