Thursday 16 May 2013

God's Purpose for Sex In Marriage

1 Corinthian 7:2-5 (NIV)
But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Sex in marriage is a topic that is mostly avoided in Christian discussions. If we run through most church topics and most of the topic discussed in most Christian gathering we will notice that sex hardly feature. Yet this singular issue is silently affecting most marriages and even causing break-ups in a lot of homes. In view of this, I think it will do our marriages a lot of good to find out what the mind of God is and what the Bible says about this topic.
I very well understand that sex in marriage can be adequately regarded as a very private issue but if it is becoming a tool in the hands of satan to destroy the marriage the Lord has established, then it's worth gaining insight on and to understand if we are erring on this topic and at what point is satan taking advantage of our ignorance on this issue.
There are quite a lot of places in the Bible where we can find insight on the issue of sex in marriage, mostly when we go through the book of Songs of Songs written by king Solomon and also something was also said about it in Proverbs 5 which I will most likely make reference to in the course of writing this, but the one that directly speaks of the topic explicitly is the passage above. 
The first address Paul made in this passage to the married man and woman is that the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife should fulfill her marital duty to her husband. What this tells me is that sex in marriage between a duly married man and his wife, and between a duly married woman and her husband is a duty that should be fulfilled. It is a common thing that a lot of woman, definitely not all are not inclined to sex. I went through the same struggle in my marriage until I came across this passage and I began to pray. My husband had commented a couple of times about my attitude towards sex and I shoved it off as an immoral line of discussion. But when I came across what Paul said about this issue in marriage I knew I needed God's intervention to fulfill this duty well enough.
It is good to dissuade the youth and unmarried people against premarital sex, noting that premarital sex is wrong. But sex between married couples is ideal, it's important and it a duty that must be fulfilled. As couples if there are issues in this area of your marriage, it's not a thing to shove off, it's worth all the attention needed to be given to it. It's a matter worthy to be prayed about. You might not necessarily want to discuss your sex life with anyone, but it's worth discussing with God.
Another point Paul made clear to the married couple is that as a married man your body does not solely belong to you, but it also belongs to your wife. And in the same way, as a married woman, your body does not solely belong to you, but also to your husband. Personally I found this piece of information very revealing because there had been several occasions that I had forbid my husband to touch me, either because we were having a quarrel or that I was too tired, and because I felt I was a born-again Christian and my husband is still in the process of finding his feet in Christ I thought I was right and was very justified with my actions. You just cannot imagine how guilty I felt when I stumbled on this passage. But I bless God that He is helping me take steps to correct this in my marriage. Your husband has every right to your body because you belong to him and you are one with him. In the same manner, your wife has every right to your body because you belong to her and you are one with her in flesh and spirit. No one but God designed and established it so.
And then finally Paul says "do not deprive one another except for mutual consent for a time," that shows that abstinence from sex between married couple should only happen with the mutual consent of both parties for a time. The avoidance of sex between married couples should not happen over a long period of a time, and both parties should be in agreement for this to take place. I don't know if I am the only one getting some interesting revelations about some things that should be cared for in our marriage to strengthen the tie, but I am positive that God is opening up the minds of His people to things they might be ignorantly doing wrong that is encouraging a strain in their marriage. 
Sex in marriage is a spice that I believe the Lord infused into marriage not just for procreation or reproduction, but that God gave this additive in marriage to be enjoyed and to encourage a firm bonding between the man and his wife. 

Proverbs 5:18-19
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 
A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breast satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. 

Solomon talking about a man and his wife in this passage I believe was talking about the sexual relationship between them. But he was not speaking of sex in term of procreation but as thing to be enjoyed and get satisfaction from. Now when a thing that has been infused in your marriage that is supposed to generate satisfaction for you, becomes a thing you are being deprived of or you absolutely do not get the intended satisfaction from it for whatever reason, then it is worth praying about, and so Paul says "so that satan will not tempt you." The lapse of sex in marriage or the absolute lack of it is a dangerous trend that satan is capable of taking advantage of in your marriage and home and so there is the need to think it through and pray about it.
I will want to emphasize at this point that the marriage under consideration, is the marriage between a man and a woman as the Lord intended it at the beginning. I do not advocate for same sex marriages, because it  is totally against the design of God for marriage. It is ungodly and I do not support what the Lord hates. 
In truth I feel really reserved writing about this topic, but from nowhere I find myself typing this post and I believe the Lord wants to touch a marriage and heal a home suffering under the ignorance of what is been discussed in this post, and I pray that indeed marriages will be healed and divorce certificates destroyed by reason of the revelation of God's truth about sex in marriage.

For more on Sex In Marriage please click the link http://www.thewordthatsuits.com/_item?item_id=066001

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