The Power of Unity in Marriage

There seems to be a subtle trick that the devil knows about marriage that he has been conveniently exploiting, and we, as children of God, are either not aware of or we are not taking seriously. That subtle trick is Unity in Marriage. Unity in marriage is not just about friendship or romance; it is about a strategy that brings about growth and kills stagnation.

In Genesis 11:6, God said something with regard to the building of the tower of Babel. He said, “Indeed, the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them.” That is to say that if the people are one, nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them, told by God Himself and not Derin.

In Matthew 18:19, Jesus says, “If two agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by His (our) Father in heaven." God said it in Genesis, Jesus repeated it in Matthew, and that tells me there is power in unity. But more so, there is power in unity in marriage because what better two can there be than the two of the husband and wife that the Lord has joined together and made one in flesh and in spirit.

But guess what, the devil knows more than you know that there is power in unity, and so he ensures that there is no unity. So, while you are busy proving a point and insisting on your right, the devil is having a field day enjoying your ignorance. He understands that as long as there is no agreement, there is no achievement. And that is all that he wants.

In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, the wise king Solomon added his voice to the revelation based on the depth of his wisdom when he said, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.” Again, I wonder what better two can we have than the two of a husband and wife laboring together. Based on the truth of the Bible, joint labor is far more profitable than individual effort.

All of the scriptures above underscore the power of unity, but the marriage element of it is what we see in Genesis 2:18. There God says it is not good for the man to be alone. A single effort of labor is far less profitable than joint labor. When God says it is not good, He knows what He is talking about. So, when the husband and his wife (joint laborers) agree on anything and they ask, it will be done for them by our Father in heaven.

When the husband and wife are married, heaven does not regard them as separate individuals any longer. They become two people seen and addressed as one by God. When there is a request to heaven without an agreement first, such a request is not complete. It is paused until there is an agreement for it to move forward.

It’s like having a joint account in heaven. When a cheque is drawn on a joint account with only a single signatory’s signature, the bank would not honor such a cheque because the mandate on the account is not fulfilled. The cheque is returned without a withdrawal made until there is the required second signature on the cheque. This is what the devil knows that we don’t know or we are not paying attention to.

I cherish my peace of mind, and so I don’t like fights or conflicts in my marriage. I try as much as I can to avoid it. But other than being mindful of my peace of mind, I understand too well the importance of unity in my marriage, and I protect that unity. I would rather sacrifice my opinion and allow my husband to lead in whatever direction he so chooses than to be the fool to the devil and sacrifice the unity of my marriage on the altar of providing a point and wanting my opinion to be heard. I have won so many battles on my knees than with my mouth.

Fights in marriage can be inevitable. Even the healthiest of marriages have conflicts. But the application of knowledge and understanding should be at the center of every successful marital relationship. Settling the dispute quickly and maintaining the unity of the marriage is something that should not be compromised.

Let us all not be fooled, the devil knows, and understands the power of unity. He heard God say it in Genesis 11:6; he heard Jesus speak about it in Matthew 18:19, and he plays on our pride and ego by selling us the narrative of speaking up, and we have conveniently fallen for his tricks.

In Exodus 14:14, God tells us that the battles are His to fight. Even if you have to speak up and address pressing issues with your spouse, pray about it first and let the Lord give you divine utterance that will fix the problem without creating another one.

I agree that sometimes when you are in an abusive relationship, you don’t just stay still. And sometimes you will have to speak up, but make sure that in speaking up, you have the backing of heaven. Your first place to run to when you need help is to the throne of God. Paul said in 2 Timothy 1:12 that God is able to keep that which he has committed to Him. A beautiful marriage is not run on intellect, it is not run on romance or love; a beautiful marriage is run on the leading and backing of God.

Unity in your marriage is built on the altar of prayer. To promote unity in your marriage, you must be willing to sacrifice your ego, pride, the insistence on your way, and the willingness to agree with your spouse even when it may not make any sense at that time. When you are not convinced that the approach to an issue by your spouse is the right way, just hand it over to God. God will handle it on your behalf in a manner that would not injure or compromise the unity of your marriage.

Life is a lot easier when you labor jointly rather than in a singular effort. The scientific law of division is a logical way to consider this. Amos 3:3 says, “Can two walk together unless they agree?” One will chase a thousand, but two will put tens of thousands to flight. The profit of joint effort is not in arithmetic progression; it is seen in multiples.  

Don’t let the devil keep you stagnant and stall your growth simply because you cannot align with your spouse and agree on issues. What you are losing costs a lot more than the temporary satisfaction of winning an argument.

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