In Marriage, Who Should Do The Proposing?

Ruth 3:1-5
One day Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, should I not try to find a home for you, where you will be provided for? Is not Boaz, with whose servant girls you have been, a kinsman of ours? Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor. Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don't let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do.”
“I will do whatever you say,” Ruth answered. So she went down to the threshing-floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do.

Yet another interesting lesson to learn from the book of Ruth. I bless the living God for always opening His word unto us. Today’s post will again come with a message for the intending couples and the singles who are looking up to God for the man or woman whom the Lord has made for them and made them for. The message today touches on the issue of marriage proposal. Who is the ideal of the two to propose marriage to the other? Is it the man to propose marriage to the woman as the tradition has it now, or the woman can also propose marriage to the man without the feeling of shame or worthlessness?
Although based on the traditional norms, it is the right thing that the man who wishes to marry a woman proposes marriage to her. If a woman is seen proposing marriage to a man there is this idea that such a woman is desperate for marriage or probably lacks shame or self-worth. But the truth is that a lot of woman have missed out on the man of their dreams or their God ordained husband because they waited endlessly for the man to propose and he didn’t and they eventually took that as a sign that he is not interested as they could not wait any longer and thus ended the relationship.
Ruth was made to propose marriage to Boaz on the leading her Naomi her mother-in-law and God did not condemn this act, rather Ruth the woman with the noble character found rest in the house of Boaz and she became the great-grandmother of that wonderful king David and was thus in the lineage of the Lord Jesus Christ. And so this tells me that heaven in not particular about who amongst the two intending couples proposes to the other as long as they are working in accordance to the will for God for their lives and they have the approval of God on the covenant they are about to commit themselves into.
This is not to say that women have been given the go ahead to run after every man they lust after and propose marriage to them because Ruth proposed to Boaz. But if the Lord has ordered your steps to that man to be his wife and you are so sure of this, He will prepare the heart of that man ahead of your arrival and both of you will know that the meeting of you two is ordained by the Lord. God had prepared the heart of Adam before the arrival of Eve, and in the same manner He had prepared the heart of Boaz before Ruth was led to lie at his feet by the instruction of Naomi. You cannot just go ahead chasing every man on the road because you feel you are getting over-aged for marriage and its time to propose if the man will not.
Ruth’s proposal did not come in words but actions, and based on the customs of their times Boaz understood the meaning of her actions and responded accordingly. So if as a woman you are led to that man  by the Lord and you feel you cannot get the words out, then use the actions that by the grace of God he will understand and act on. But this must be with the express approval of the living God. If the man is not getting the message of your action and not responding favourably, please don't push any further, go back to your kneels and start to pray. It could be that the Lord has not prepared the heart of that man ahead of you. At this point you need to throw out all emotions and get a clear word from God. Maybe the Lord has not led you to that man but rather your emotions have taken the best of you.
Solomon advised in the book of Song of songs 8:4 that “Daughter of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” The emotion called love should not come into your heart concerning any man or woman for the purpose of marriage before you have prayed well and sought the face and consent of God concerning that man or woman before releasing your love to them. But if you have prayed well and you are sure the Lord has led you to that man, then as a woman heaven does not forbid you to propose marriage to him in whatever way you find convenient to do it. And also for the man, if you have prayed well and you are sure that the woman you have invested your desires in is the woman God has designed and prepared for your life’s journey, then feel free to propose marriage to her in a way and manner that you find convenient for you to communication the message and the leave the rest in the hands of God.
The person who does the proposing is not a matter that is of major importance as long as the will of God is carried out in your lives.