The Word That Suits: The Wife and Her Marriage

I kind of assumed that enough has been said on the issue of marriage, and I really bless God for the lives and homes that have been positively impacted by the topics that were discussed in my previous blog posts on the issues of marriage and the home as a whole. Quite a lot of people have agreed that in truth there is more they need to do beyond that which they assumed was more than enough contribution on their part in making their homes better places to live in.
But since there is yet to be a significant decline in the rate of divorce and cases of broken marriages, I will continue to write, and if its just a person or two that is benefiting from the messages preached by God through me then I will be grateful to God.
In my everyday life, I still hear of women who have very little or absolute no knowledge of what the Lord requires of them in marriage. They still carry on with the mind-set that in marriage they are designed to be on the receiving end. I have heard on quite a lot of radio programs where it is said that the wife tends to respond in direct proportion to whatever actions they get from their husbands. So since the Lord has instructed the husbands to love their wives as themselves, then they are to carry on that task first and then the wife will respond positively to the love shown to them by their husbands.
This is very good and agreeable by me when the men preach this kind of message among themselves. This is a message that should be preached solely in a gathering of men and not to women. I am saying this because in the institution of marriage the woman is not just designed to be on the receiving end of the equation, but to give more than she receives. As a matter of fact the woman has been designed by God to build the home and not the man.

Ephesians 5:22-23
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.

Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, in same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

In as much as I agree that for the wife to perform her duty effectively, it will be of advantage that her husband shows her love and respect and appreciate all that she is doing to make the home a comfortable home. But that said, the starting point in building the home is when the wives learn to submit to their husbands.
The three passages above are portions of the Bible where the roles of the husband and the wife are explicitly spelt out to them by God through Paul and Peter. But the instruction was not first given to the man, but to the woman. So if we are to think deep on this, we need to ask ourselves that why is God addressing the woman first? I am persuaded to believe that God made it so because the foundation of any marriage lies with the wife. And the foundation of a successful marriage lies in the ability of the wife to submit to her husband as to the Lord.
When a woman is in total submission to her husband and she is a good Christian with the fear of God rooted deeply in her life, then it will not be long before she draws out the love that her husband has for her if he is yet to start to show it.

Genesis 2:18, 21
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The second important role a wife should play in the life of the husband is that of a suitable help. God identified the short falls in the life of the man He created and concluded that this man needs a help. So from within him the Lord made the woman and presented her to the man to be his wife. But one interesting point that women miss on is that God never assigned the woman to help the man in specific areas of his life and leave the others. From what is recorded in the Bible the wife is a suitable help for her husband in every aspect of the man’s life where help is needed or required. So Solomon in his wisdom was able to say in Proverbs 18:22 that “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.”
So if as a wife your husband is failing, I dare to tell you that you are failing all the more because you have been assigned by God to help him in every area of his life where help is needed.
Before you write your husband off as a “never do well”, before you run to the divorce court for a certificate of annulment of that marriage, what have you done to help your husband become a better person and so fulfilling your God given assignment in his life?
In truth your husband might not be faithful to you in that marriage, that is a problem that you have recognized. So rather than opt for the divorce option, what have you done to help him overcome his infidelity problem? Because in truth you are his God assigned suitable help in all the problems he might be facing. Rather than stigmatize your husband as a poverty stricken fellow, running out on him for a richer man, what have you done to help alleviate his poverty? If you are not capable of works, you are at least capable of praying heaven down on him until the Lord hears your cry and delivers him.
In the book of 1Samuel 25, everyone knew Nabal to be a surly and mean fellow in his dealings. Though he was very wealthy yet he was stingy. But he had a gift from God in the person of his intelligent beautiful wife Abigail. Although everyone recognized Nabal for his bad attributes, one person who didn't write him off was his wife Abigail. When Nabal stepped on David's toes and was going to be killed, this intelligent wife of Nabal ran to his rescue. She did the needful, by appeasing David on behalf of her stingy husband, carrying food and other supplies to David and his men in the desert and pleading just that David will not destroy her husband and his household. This is an example that a good wife needs to hold dear. And just as I mentioned earlier if you are not capable of works, you should be capable of prayers until the Lord hears your cry and delivers your husband.
As a woman, your marriage is just as beautiful as you make it, you are the bedrock of that marriage and it will stand on the foundation that you build it on. Your home is all about you.

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