Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This scripture will be the basis of today’s blog post. And the question that comes to mind here is, “Why is there a need for a man to leave his father and mother to join or cleave to his wife? What is the wisdom of God in this pattern when it comes to marriage?
A lot of us believe in the power of community. Community is
good for networking, for sharing ideas, for getting your way around situations,
but when it comes to marriage, God says, “Leave community behind.” As a matter
of fact, God says, leave father and mother behind and bond with your wife and
become one flesh with her.
The truth of the matter is that a man who is not ready to
leave his father and mother and his community behind when it comes to the issue
of marriage is actually not ready for marriage. Unlike some issues in our
lives, such as financial networking, marriage is not a community affair. It is
strictly a private journey that only requires the participation of the husband,
his wife, and the almighty God.
The next thing we are looking at as we inquire about why the
Lord would instruct that a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his
wife, is the critical role a wife plays in the life of her husband. Going by
what the scripture says in Proverbs 18:22, that he who finds a wife finds a
good thing, and obtains favor from God, we can conclude that a wife is the
embodiment of God’s favor in the life of a man.
My interpretation of Proverbs 18:22 is that all the favor a
man would need in life is what God has packaged together and deposited in the
life of his wife and then handed that wife to him as his suitable helper. With
that being said, from the point of marriage onwards, all the favor a man needs
to succeed is embedded in his wife. The role of the community is not ruled out,
but it is secondary to the union of marriage. In fact, in some cases, it is a
distraction from God's plan and agenda for marriage.
There is a distinction between the role of parents and
community in a man’s life and the role of his wife in his life. In Genesis
18:19, we learned that God chose Abraham because He knew that Abraham would command,
train, and teach his children to keep the way of the Lord. Proverbs 22:6 tells
us to train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not
depart from it.
The roles parents play in the life of a man are to teach,
train, and direct. This continues until the man is grown. When a man is married,
the influence of his parents in his life drops. When a well-trained man gets
old, and he has been given a wife from the Lord, the role of his parents in his
life drops to being just advisers. And this is the point where the Lord tells
the man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife because that
stage of his life has elapsed.
The next phase of his life is where he journeys with his
suitable helper, his God given destiny helper. Since we have established that a
man’s wife is the embodiment of God’s favor in his life, then she, who is the
container of his favor, now moves around with him, carrying in her the God-given
favor for his life.
At the point where the role of the parents dwindles is the
point where the role of the wife kicks off. A man who is still influenced so
much by his parents, like one who is still in the training phase of his life, is
either not well-trained or not grown enough for the next phase of development
and destiny pursuit along with his wife.
We might wonder if the analysis that we have given of a man
is equally applicable to a woman. The moment a woman becomes married, the
authority over her life shifts from her parents to her husband. Her submission
is to her husband and no longer to her parents.
The influence of her parents over her life becomes that of
voluntary advisory in nature. It is then apparent that the wife leaves her
parents and cleaves to the one who now holds the authority over her life and to
whom she is to submit. A woman who is a favor carrier for a man is expected to
be within the reach of the man for whom she carries the favor in her.
In an earlier paragraph, I had likened the marriage
institution to the call of God on the life of Abraham when God asked him to
leave his father’s household to proceed on a journey on which only God knew the
destination. When God told Abraham to proceed on the journey, the only
companion he was allowed to have was his wife, who was his favor carrier. Wherever
Abraham goes, Sarah also goes.
The presence of an external factor in the journey of Abraham
in the person of Lot only created conflicts. Genesis 13:5-7 tells us that the
land which was originally planned by God for only Abraham became too small for
Abraham and Lot, and so disputes began. In the same manner, your marriage is a
promised land for you alone. Any external factor makes the land too small and
is just a recipe for disputes.
To enjoy a beautiful and peaceful marriage, you will need to
ensure that the journey is just for you and your wife. No external factors, no
matter who they are or how close they are to your heart, as long as they are
not your wife, they are not allowed on the journey of your marriage. And this
is also applicable to the wives.
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