How Can a Christian Mother Avoid Burnout?

Strange as this may sound, mothers were not designed for burnout. This is a truth worth reflecting on. Let me start by saying that the assignment to raise the children belongs to the father, while the assignment to nurture the children belongs to the wife. And let me finish by saying the assignment to take care of a wife belongs to her husband. 

But the more interesting truth is that whichever way we choose to look at this, between God and the husband, a wife/mother is guided away from any form of burnout. This doesn't say that the wife sits idly in the home, but the tasks she takes on should be such that she does not experience any burnout.

What I have written above is the ideal way things should be, but I recognise that it may not be so for everyone, so let’s trust God to grant us insight into how a Christian mother can avoid burnout. The first scripture that comes to mind is Psalm 46:1, and it says, “God is our refuge and strength; A very present help in trouble.”

This scripture goes beyond you being in trouble, because trouble is subjective. What is simple for one person may be trouble for another, but I would like to see this as God being available for us whenever we need help. A mother experiencing burnout is one who needs help, and this scripture tells us outright where the help comes from.

Without overgeneralizing this issue, I want to try to break down some possible causes of burnout for Christian mothers and how we can address these causes based on the truth of the Bible.

I had mentioned earlier that the task of training a child belongs to the father, and a few stories in the Bible come to mind at this time. In Genesis 18:19, God revealed that he chose Abraham that he might direct his children and household to keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice. Note that God didn’t choose Sarah, but Abraham. That assignment to train and direct was for Abraham.

Also in Job chapter 1, it was Job who had the custom of purifying his children and not Job’s wife. 1 Timothy 3:4 says that for a man to be considered as a church overseer, he must be a man who rules over his household and have his children in submission with all reverence. So, to say that he must be a man who has trained his children well.

If training the children is a reason why a Christian mother would experience burnout, it is important to note that the primary person owning the assignment to train children is the father. As a suitable helper to her husband, she will have to help out, and most importantly, nurture and care for the children, but the father owns this task. And she should not experience burnout while assisting.

Another possible reason why a Christian mother will experience burnout is that a lot of the weight of the home is placed on her shoulders. She is the home builder as found in Proverbs 14:1. So, she is burnt out with taking care of the house, the children, her husband, and, in some cases, her career. 

At this point, I would like to restate that a husband's primary assignment is to love his wife unconditionally as himself and as Christ loves the church. While a wife is to build her home, her husband is to ensure that she is not overburdened doing so.

And then, Isaiah 40:31 tells us that those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. The first solution to avoiding burnout is to run to God and wait there till He does for you what you cannot do for yourself. Remember Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

For every assignment and task that God has entrusted to you to do, He has made provision for you to carry on those tasks stress-free if you are not relying on your effort but on God’s strength. The strategy for engagement without burnout is hidden in God, and once you find Him and ask, you will find that strategy. God did not bless you to stress you.

As Christian mothers, there is no singular rule or code that applies to all by which we can avoid burnout. But God is mindful of the peculiarity of each situation, and he is available to solve each individual situation, case by case. The situation in each home is different, and so the solutions will be different, and those solutions are found in God.

For example, I am a mother of four, living with my children in a different country from where my husband lives and works. This is not the ideal situation, but my husband is the sole provider for the family, and the economy of the world today has made us find ourselves in this situation.

For many years in my marriage, I have had the children with me while my husband works elsewhere. That has laid on me the responsibility of not just nurturing my children but also training them. Remember, I told you that the training of a child belongs to the father.

But what God did for me was that He prevented me from working without lacking in provision. I did not choose that for myself, but God did. I do not have much, but my needs are met. So, I can focus on the home without having a burnout. And that is why I am encouraging mothers not to carry the weight on their own effort but to lay the burden at the feet of Jesus.

My children are a bit grown now, and now the Lord is giving me the freedom to do other things that will generate income and keep me busy. I have written six books now, and I have a platform where I share encouragements, such as I am doing now.

In conclusion, even though I would have loved to give Christian mothers a specific trick or strategy on how to avoid burnout, the truth remains that there is no singular technique that works across the board. But you have God, who has a specific strategy perfectly fit for your specific situation. Run to Him, and He will lead the way.

He loves you too much to see you crushed under the weight that is bigger than you. He does not want you to burn out. 

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