The Suffering That Makes Perfect

Hebrews 12: 4-11

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 

Roman 8:18-19

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 

Is it possible to have a general in the military force who did not go through a form of rigorous training? At the entry level a lot of people get listed into the military force, but just a few attain the rank of a general. When you have a particular batch of soldiers and you compare the number of them in a year set at the entry level to the number of them in that same year set many years later who attain the rank of a generals you will probably come to a ratio of 1:3.

We need to try and imagine a military officer who didn't go through a military training before becoming an army general. On all fronts this is an impossible occurrence. In the world over those who are trained for war are about the most disciplined people because the training they have undergone produces discipline in them and ultimately prepares them for battle. One other thing that we need to be mindful of is that these set of people are accorded special respect, and indeed they deserve as much respect that they are accorded and much more because the training they have passed through to get to the point of honour is not attainable by just anybody. A lot will not attempt it, while a lot others have fallen along the way or withdrawn from the process. This training is not the easiest to engage in for any length of time. But for those who succeed, there awaits them the medal of honour.

The Bible has likened the various hardships, challenges and struggles that we might be facing as discipline and it is designed by God to produce a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. So what this tells us is that whatever challenge, struggle, trial or whatever name we might want to give it that we are facing, is to produce perfection in us if we allow ourselves to be trained by it. 

What really interests me in this passage is that the Lord recognizes that this hardships or struggles are actually painful, and so we are now aware that the Lord recognizes and understands our pains. And though He has the ability to take the pain away He lets it stay until we attain perfection. Because it will be a fruitless effort to go through the pains without achieving the desired result of perfection in us.

Paul said in Roman 8:18 that our present suffering is not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us, and then went on to say that the creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God who have undergone the suffering, who have been trained by their struggles and are shinning forth in the glory of God to manifest. This is very much like the training and the honour of the army general described above. 

Romans 8:28-30

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he justified; those he justified, he also glorified. 

Hebrews 5:8-10

Although he was a Son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

These two passages really helped me pull throw in my own trying times. The revelation of the word that I got from these passages helped me to hold on and get the training for my life as the Lord will have me learn them. Paul said that those God foreknew He predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son Jesus Christ. And that tells me that there are some people that indeed the Lord has called and predestined to be conformed to be like Jesus. These category of people are also justified by God and then they are glorified. 

But when we read through the second passage in Hebrews, we will see that Jesus didn't attain that level of perfection by chance. The Bible tell us that He learned and was made perfect from the things He suffered. There was a process of some form of training through suffering that produced perfection in Jesus.

If then we are called to be conformed in likeness to the Lord Jesus Christ, it is important to realize that there is no short-cut to perfection outside the training we get from our suffering. Just like the suffering produced perfection in Christ and then He was glorified and designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek, so is our suffering suppose to be produce perfection in us in the likeness of Jesus that we might be joint-heirs with Him, if we allow ourselves to be trained by it. The sufferings are not designed to break us, but rather to make us perfect and glorify us in the end. Paul said the suffering, painful as they may be, is nothing compared to the glory that will revealed in us if only we endure the process. 

In my short life, I must confess I have passed through what appears like the valley of shadow of death. I might never have known the Lord like I do if not for the things that I have suffered. But the suffering painful as they were at that time helped me develop a relationship with God that I am enjoying now and also sharing with you. The sufferings have helped me to know sin as sin no matter how innocent they may appear and run away from such. The thought of never wanting to go back to those dark days of my life has glued me to the presence of God. And I have so remained in God's presence so that I now enjoy His presence. 

For whatever struggles you might be facing, there is a purpose for it being there and it will not last forever. The moment you allow the Lord use those challenges to get you to where He wants you to be, they will disappear and your life will be refreshed again. We learned in the books of Psalms that when the Lord returned the captives to Zion, they were like them that dream dreams. 

It is just as hurting to God as it is to you to allow you go through those challenges, remember He is your Father that loves you immeasurably, but in order that you might shine forth for the world to see, you need to go through the process and endure the process and attain perfection and receive the glory. You were not built by God to break.   

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Getting Satisfied In God

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord; and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

It's been almost 10 days since I last shared a post, being really busy with self publishing hurdles to cross and domestic pressures all in one. But as a vessel in the hands of the Lord, I believe in the middle of all these there is also a need to share the truth of the word of God to someone out there who surely needs it, and I bless God He found me worthy a vessel to use in reaching out.

In attempting to write this post I was a bit blank, not sure of what the Lord will have me share. I have shared so much on the issues of marriage that I am positive a lot of my readers will consider me as one focused on marriage matters alone. But it's important to write as the Lord directs. I am very encouraged though with the comments and responses I have received on my marriage posts. 

My post for today I believe will be focused on the word of God in Psalm 37:4 which says "Delight yourself in the Lord; and he will give you the desires of your heart." In order to really appreciate what this passage says, we need to understand very well what the word Delight means. From the dictionary, delight has the following meaning: 1) a feeling of great pleasure and satisfaction, 2) something that makes you feel very happy or satisfied. 

If we understand and agree that the above is the definition for the word delight, then we are a step closer to the realization of our heart's desires. What the Bible is telling us from the passage above is that if we dear make the Lord our source of great satisfaction and pleasure, then the Lord will in turn grant us the desires of our heart. 

To make the Lord the source of our great pleasure and satisfaction is to enjoy being His child, it is to enjoy being in His presence, it is to enjoy obeying His commands and instructions, it is to enjoy serving Him and doing His will at all times, it is to enjoy letting His light shine through us for the world to see. And when we have made these mentioned attributes our ultimate source of satisfaction and pleasure, then whatever it is we desire in our hearts the Bible says this wonderful God that we have so delighted in, will give them all to us.  

In Deuteronomy 7:9, the Lord professed His love and faithfulness to a thousand generation of those who love and keep His command. He didn’t just profess His love but says He will be faithful to those who love Him. So to say that He is and always will be committed to keeping all of His promises to those who love Him. In order words the Lord says that as long as you delight yourself in Him, He will grant you the desires of your Heart, then He is committed to keeping that promise to a thousandth of your generation. 

In whatever situation you may find yourself now, the Lord is still faithful in keeping His promise as long as you have made Him your source of satisfaction and pleasure. When your source of satisfaction and pleasure is in Christ Jesus, it is easy to loose focus of those heart breaking challenges, it is easy to loose focus of the sickness and pains the devil might want to burden you with, it is easy to loose focus of all your grieve no matter what that grieve may be.    

Once I was praying and trusting God for some very urgent needs in my life and family, and the Spirit of the Lord spoke to my heart saying I should not allow the seen impossibilities to take my focus away from the unseen possibilities. In truth we serve a God who brings about what is seen from what is unseen. 

When you are filled with very huge and beautiful dreams, when your heart longs for those beautiful things of life and they look impossible to reach, don't get weighed down, and never think your dreams are too huge to come to reality, just get busy getting satisfied by God. Get busy with making God the source of your great pleasure and delight. Get busy seeking and trusting God. How He materializes your dreams should be of little or no concern to you, He will do it anyway because He has promised He will and He is faithful and committed to all that He has promised.

Psalm 34:10 says "The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lacks no good thing." This I believe is the heritage of this who have made the Lord the source of the great pleasure and satisfaction.  

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You Are His Suitable Helper

Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Genesis 2:20b-22

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 

In so many ways these two passages have made a lot of impact to me as a person, and to my conviction as a wife. And if only through the revelation of these passages women will understand their assignment in the lives of their husbands and perform such effectively, then the devil is permanently defeated in our homes and marriages. As an illustration to better understand the usefulness of these two passages to women, I will share a true life story that happened to a wife just like you and I.

A young Christian lady was having a chat with her friend and their discussion was based on marriage issues. One of these friends was married while the other was not. The single friend was of the pinion that marriage was a misery and sometimes God was unfair on that matter. The married lady who was a born-again Christian argued otherwise even though she was having troubles with her marriage as she just discovered that her husband was cheating on her.

The single lady gave the an instance of a born-again Christian lady who served the Lord with all her heart and then got married only to discover that her husband was gay and would not have sex with her. She explained that the lady has prayed well before making the decision to marry this guy and so if God was to be fair, why would He allow His faithful young daughter to marry a gay.

For a brief moment the Christian married friend was lost for words. She quickly said a word of prayer and asked the Holy Spirit to give her a word for this friend of hers who thought so negatively about marriage to the point that it was beginning to affect even her relationship with God so she needed to be careful in speaking to her. Meanwhile she also had her marital struggles. This question came up in the middle of a sickening marital challenge that she had. Just a day before that she discovered that her husband was having extra-marital affairs and though she had been suspecting so, but the confirmation of it really got her off balance. So she had this huge issue to tackle for her friend while having a huge issue on her mind also.

But as mentioned earlier, she prayed one of the shortest and most quiet prayer anyone could possibly pray. It had to be fast because she needed to respond to the person staring her at the face. And just then the Lord spoke to her heart; He said "What is the wife to the husband?" Is she not a suitable help? Did He (the Lord) give the woman any specific area of the man's life where she is to help? A wife is a suitable helper to her husband and it means in every area of the husband's life where he needs help, the wife is to come in and help. If the man has no issues in his life that he is struggling with, the Lord will not make for him a suitable helper. 

Just as the Lord was dropping the words in her spirit, she spoke them to her friend. And she told her that this lady in question is in luck because she is discovering where the issue is in the life of her husband and where her role is required in his life. She is the God ordained helper for that gay husband of hers and so she needs to start praying, she needs to start trusting God on behalf of her husband to break the yoke and evil lust of homosexuality in his life and she should faithfully do so without rest until she sees result.  

Surprisingly, this divine revelation healed her heart-brokenness more than it answered her friend's question. It was with this revelation that the Lord opened her heart to the role she needed to play is helping her husband overcome adultery more than the hurt she was feeling over the fact that he was cheating on her. She realized the need to help him more than the pain of betrayal that had overwhelmed her initially and so she began to pray. Her husband didn't understand why the sudden calmness over the quarrels they had been dealing with on trust issues, but he was at least glad he was forgiven. But there and then through the revelation of the importance and necessity of the role of a wife as a helpmeet in her husband's life, this wife was able to stand in the gap and pray for her husband; that the Lord will forgive him of his sins and renew his life. She also prayed against every intruder that was attempting to destabilize the peace of her home. She prayed her heart out until she began to see results. With time her marriage was at peace and she praised God for it. Soon her husband became her best friend and she loved him even more.

From this true life story I hope we wives will be able to understand our assignment in the lives of our husbands. A woman is a suitable helper for her husband whether he is a believer or not as long as they are married. The helpmeet role of the wife is not restricted to financial issues, home keeping or raising children, but that in every area of a man's life where help is needed, the wife has been assigned by God to be a suitable helper fitting to help her husband. This is a God given assignment; it is a primary assignment for which she will give account to God who has assigned her to that role. A lot of times the woman needs to relegate her emotions and feelings to the bottom of her being in order to perform effectively this huge role that God has assigned her to do. May the Lord grant us grace to be the woman He has designed and called us to be.   

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Handling Dispute In Marriage

Proverbs 21:9, 19
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. 

Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.

Proverbs 20:3
It is to a man's honour to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.

Proverbs 17:19a
He who loves quarrel loves sin.

Proverbs 17:14
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

I am a very strong believer in the fact that if God is allowed to prevail in our homes and marriages, then God is already given a free play in the world over. If our homes are operating in accordance with the instructions of God then in no time the world will be a better place to live in for us.
Although the topic of this post is meant to address both the husband and wife, but because I am a woman, I am trusting God to use me in addressing the issue from a woman's point of view and He'll raise a vessel to take up the issue from a man's point of view.
Proverbs 14:1 says "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." The responsibility to build a home is primarily delegated by God to the woman, there is nowhere in the Bible where God addressed the man to build a home. But my darling ladies the Lord knows that you carry the strength and ability in you to fulfill this responsibility, so don't feel wearied, you are an embodiment of strength in yourself, you are not the weaker one.
With that said, it is now time to look at the issue of dispute and quarrels in marriages. Surprising enough, there is nothing said in the Bible of a quarrelsome husband, we hear of violent husband in Malachi chapter 2, but not of a quarrelsome husband. Is it that God didn't create men to be quarrelsome? Well not at all, it is because the violent man with a prayerful and godly wife is a vessel in the hands of God in molding. As we know in 1 Peter 3, it is through the purity and reverence in the life of the wife through the workings of Christ in her that shines and radiates and draws the husband to God. Never mind that your husband is as he is, if the Christ in you shines well enough, it is just a matter of time for him to be drawn to God.
But when you have learned the secret of submission and prayer, then with wisdom, knowledge and understanding, your home will be a masterpiece for all to see. So much as been said about a quarrelsome wife in the passages above, and I believe this is so because a wife plays a very big role in the life of her husband and family at large and she will not be effective if she is a wife who is quarrelsome and unable to control her temper.
A wife has been made by God to be suitable help to her husband, and then we are learning that even if her husband is an unbeliever, it is through the reverence and purity of her life that her husband is won over to God, and then she is still the one delegated by God to build the home. How will a quarrelsome wife and an ill-tempered wife fulfill all these God given assignments on her life when the major ingredient to having success in these assignments is lacking.
Quite a number of times we have heard it said that when something is bothering you it is important to speak up. A lot of problems that we women have is that we always want to be heard. Proverbs 18:2 says "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinion." When you are perceiving that your views tends to bring about a quarrel, then it's important to hold them in. You will not be helping yourself and your husband or even fulfilling God's assignment for your life when you are air a view that breeds a quarrel. There is always a very good time and manner to air that view without causing any problem with it.
Proverbs 17:9 says "He who covers over an offence promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." What I am learning here and I hope you are too, is that never keep records of the wrongs your husband has done, going over them again will only hurt your marriage. Instead, let the Lord help you take away the wrong and find the ease within to clean up the slate.
In your home as a wife it is important to pursue the peace of your home at all times even at the expense of your own view and opinions. The Lord will help you as you make effort to be the woman He has designed you to be.

To read more of my articles please visit www.thewordthatsuits.com.

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Godly Parenting

Malachi 2:15

Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do mot break faith with the wife of your youth.

If I attempt to say that the human race is going into extinction it is not that the human race will cease to exist, but the moral value that places a pride in the human race is grossly on the decline. And the worse hit in this decline of moral value are the children that are born into the world in this generation. It’s either the parents are losing focus or the devil is grossly taking over the minds of our children, and as parents we are doing very little to tackle the situation. 

Another thing I have discovered is that most parents are beginning to rule out discipline in the homes all in the name of showing love. The level of exposure in the world today is way too advance for the children and as parents we generally feel it’s fun exposing our children to things that are way beyond them. No wonder we have having the stories we hear these days of teenage killings and even toddlers accidentally shooting themselves dead. 

The contents of a lot of T.V programs for children are absolutely nothing to write home about. Things like witchcraft and wizards have now been made to look like fun and less evil than it actually is. Guns are crossly been displayed in the children’s cartoon programs in the name of fighting evil. And I can just go on and on about everything that is wrong in our society today aiding the decline in moral value.

With this said, it is important to know and understand the expectations of God in the life of the parents over the lives of their children. In the Bible passage above, the Lord said He has united the man and his wife and made them one in flesh and spirit because He seeks godly offspring from their union. I now wonder within me that if we fail as parents, what excuse will we give God as reason why we were unable to produce for Him the godly offspring that He desires from our marriage union?      

1 Samuel 3:11-14

And the Lord said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears it tingle. At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family - from beginning to end. For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them. Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, ‘The guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.’”

So many times that I have thought about my responsibility as a parent and this passage comes to mind, I am reminded that the assignment the Lord has given to me as a parent is one not to be taken lightly or handled with negligence. When I consider the fact that Eli as a priest never did anything wrong, yet he payed for the sins of his sons that he knew and did nothing about. A curse and death sentence rested over Eli and his household just because of his failure as a parent. Eli’s only sin was that he did not restrain his sons from doing wrong.

In our generation today, quite a lot of parents are guilty of the same sin in the name of showing or expressing love to their children. In as much as there is a big need to love and show love to our children, there is also a big need for a balance between love and discipline. 

When you show too much love to the children without adequate discipline, the result is the total decay in moral values that we are beginning to experience in the world today. When a child is not thought to be a disciplined and responsible man, then he’ll forever be a boy even at the age of 40years.

Solomon said in Proverbs 22:6 that “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” The kind of adult a child grows up to be depends largely on the kind of training he gets as a child. And this training is not what is expected of the teachers in school or the aunties, uncles, and the older people around. But it is much of what the Lord expects of the parents. One of the major reasons for which the Lord  united the man with his wife, both in flesh and spirit is because he seeks godly offspring from that union. The Lord expects godly offspring from the man and his wife and not the uncles and aunties that are hanging around or teachers in school.   

The instruction that I prefer to that of Solomon, is the instruction given by Paul in Ephesians 6:4. It reads, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” There are different paths to which a man can train his children which eventually becomes their life shaper as they grow. This pattern might not necessarily be in the way of the Lord, but it forms the basis of who the child will grow up to be. 

But Paul said the training of a child, which will form the foundation of the child in life should be in the instruction of the Lord. It is important that the training of the child from which he/she will not depart when they grow should be in the instruction of the Lord and not in any other way or path.   

Proverbs 23:13-14

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

One aspect of training a child that is grossly been threatened is the act of discipline. A lot of societies have now taken discipline for child abuse and so many societies most especially in the developed countries have actually prohibited the use of the rob on children. There is the need to try and understand the difference between the discipline of a child through the use of a rod which the Bible recommends in the passage above, and child abuse. 

The use of the rod the Bible says does not kill a child, but rather it saves life. This is a big contradiction to what obtains in the world today. But it is important to note that there is the need to balance discipline and love. A combination of this (love and discipline) is what saves the child as the Bible has stated. Excessive discipline without love is what leads to child abuse rather than the use of the rod as a measure of discipline. But love without discipline the Bible also says spoils the child. If you love your child then based on Bible recommendation you discipline that child and even use the rod as a means of discipline. A child who is not disciplined in a child who is hated and not loved. When you truly love your child you take the time to train and discipline him/her and save their souls from death.

Proverbs 13:24

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

The fact that discipline is grossly been down played in our world today is what is resulting in the increase in moral decay that we are observing among the children of today. But one thing that we need to understand is that when we discipline our children, we do not only save their souls, we invest in our own grey days. Proverbs 17:6a says “Children’s children are a crown to old age,” this proverbs does not refer to children who lacks discipline, because Proverbs 17:21 says “To have a fool for a son brings grief; there is no joy for the father of a fool.” Again Proverbs 19:13a says “A foolish son is his father’s ruin,” without this been said in the Bible it is happening in our world today as we can see the so much grief that wayward children are bringing to their parents. But how can a child gain wisdom without being thought and how can one teach wisdom without discipline. A son without wisdom is a fool and of such he brings grief and ruin to his parents.

As parent in order to safeguard your joy in the future it is important to train and discipline your children and in fact train them in the instruction of the Lord. When a parents spares the rod, he hates his child rather than love him as we are learning in the Bible. But there is the need to sound it loud that excessive use of the rod produces a negative effect on the child rather than train. It is the use of the rod to discipline with love as the underling motive that produces the desired result and also produces wisdom. When you spare the rod, you do not only mortgage the future of your children, you also mortgage your joy over them.

The need for proper discipline of our children cannot be overemphasized, the world we see and complain of today is as a result of the neglect of a lot of parents who ignorantly and in the bid to show love have relegated the need for proper discipline to the bottom. The assignment to train a child in the way of the Lord was delegated by God, He says in Malachi 2:15 that He made the man and his wife one in flesh and spirit because He seeks godly offspring from that union. There is the need to evaluate our performance in this regard. If we need to do a little more, then now is the time to start. In all assignment that God has given us He will demand an account. May the Lord see us through.

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The Making of a Life Partner

Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

The first thing to note very carefully is that the wife is a suitable help made by God. Far above emotions, the wife is suppose to be a fitting support for the man. So if I am permitted to say this, if any man goes ahead to get married by reason of emotions, without first seeking the face of God to provide for him that suitable support needed for his life’s assignment,  such a man is acting in error.

One other very important thing to note is the declaration of God in the second part of the passage above. It says, “I will make a helper suitable for him.” If we look at this statement critically, we will realize that it is God Himself who is making the suitable helper for the man and not the man's parent or the man himself going in search of a help for himself.

In order to have a marriage free from unnecessary troubles, you need to first seek the face of God, and be sure that indeed this woman or man that you are getting married to is God's choice for you. You need to be very certain that this is the help or the ordained authority that God has made for you. As a man, at whatever age you are now, whether old or young, you need to start to pray to God to bring you a help suitable for your life's journey when the time is right. The help that will go along with you on your life's journey and help fulfill your destiny and the assignment of God on your life. Parents are to begin to pray and hand over this matter to God right from their children's tender age, as no parent is capable of making a suitable help for their child. This assignment can only be adequately handled by God alone.

Genesis 24:1-9, 12

Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. He said to the chief servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you

will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but you will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.”

The servant asked him, “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?”

“Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. “The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, 'To your offspring I will give this land'  he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter.

Then he prayed, “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.      

 This passage, tells the story of how Abraham got a wife for his son Isaac. From what we have read in this passage, there are a lot of lessons to learn, but one lesson  I  want us to hold unto very dearly is the statement Abraham made in verse 7 of the passage. He said “The Lord the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, 'To your offspring I will give this land'  he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there.”

Abraham very well understood that when it comes to the issue of making a suitable helper, it was a matter delegated to God alone. It was only God that was capable of making a suitable helper for Isaac and not the chief servant. And also, the chief servant appreciated the enormity of the errand he had been sent, he knew that left alone he could not carry out the task successfully and so on arrival at his destination he had to pray. He needed God to make a choice for Isaac, and he asked for a sign to be able to identify that suitable helper whom the Lord had made for his master's son.

Now we need to understand that it is only God, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and End of all things, that knows the various needs of a man's life, He knows the assignment the man has to fulfill, and so the help that will fit in to meet the needs of each man has to be made by Him. He knows the future, He is mindful of the upcoming challenges, and so it is of great importance that the help needed to meet up with the struggles and challenges of the future comes directly from Him.  

If you are at that stage of your life when  you think you have met a desirable partner with whom you wish to spend the rest of your life, you need to first take the matter to God and seek Him and so as to be sure that the person in whom you have invested your desire is that suitable help that God has made to fit in and help establish His purpose for your life.

Proverb 19:14 says “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Now the Bible has clearly shown us that the assignment of making a suitable help for a man in the person of his wife can only be carried out by God and nobody else. Not you as the one needing the wife nor your parents, but the Lord.

And this also applies to the woman. You cannot on your own, either by reason of emotions or any other reason whatsoever get engaged or be married to a man without allowing God lead you to the appropriate man in whom your life will find fulfillment. That right man to whom your destiny has been tied. You need to be sure that you have obtained the consent of your Creator, before signing that marriage certificate, so that when the storms begin, and the tides starts  to blow, you can be sure God is mindful of you and He has your back. You are to be sure that the man you want to journey with is the appropriate, God ordained authority over your life and in him your destiny will find fulfillment. 

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The Purpose of Love In Marriage

Song of songs 8:6-7
Place me like a seal over your heart, 
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death, 
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, 
like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

The book of Song of songs speaks of the love that exist between two lovers, and this is a book that is good enough to be included in the word of God (the Bible). This book shows that the issue of love in marriage is of great importance. I will like to describe love in marriage as an emotion, a catalyst feeling infused by God into the man He has created and the woman He has presented to him to be his suitable help and wife to aid in binding the man and his wife together to become one in spirit and flesh according to the design and desire of God.

This kind of love described in the book of Song of songs is one that God created exclusively for the man and his wife in marriage. This love is one of, but not the only binding force in marriage, it is an emotional feeling that helps keep the man and his wife united in marriage. It enables the attraction of a man towards his wife, and the wife towards her husband. It is one of the catalyst forces that causes two flesh to become one in accordance with the declaration of Christ to the married couple. This love is sacred, it is of God and it is exclusively for those in or about to be in a marriage covenant.

According to the description we have of this love in the book of Song of songs, it is a strong feeling, Solomon said it is as strong as death (Song of songs 8:6). This love is a very strong binding force that brings about joy, peace, contentment and even rest between married couples when channeled properly and applied as the Lord intends it to be used. Other things that are produced from this strong love is a sense of belonging, it produces warmth and affection between a man and his wife. There is also a form of protection between the two married people as one spouse will always want to watch over the other to protect the one he/she loves.

But this love can also be misused and misappropriated, it can be aroused unnecessarily and this sweet binding force between a man and his wife can then turn into a venom that produces jealousy that is as unyielding as the grave. In the book of Song of songs 2:7, 3:5, 8:4 Solomon repeated a warning saying “daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” When this love that we have spoken so well of is aroused or awakened unnecessarily, it becomes very destructive and has devastating after effects. In as much as it is a catalyst that binds the man to his wife and the woman to her husband, it is also a strong feeling that arouses jealousy that is as unyielding as the grave.

There is an important step that precedes the release of love; we should keep in mind that it was after the Lord presented the woman to the man that she seized to be called woman but wife. Before you fall in love with that woman you saw and think you like, you need to first take the matter to God in prayers. You need to ask God questions and seeks answers to know if that is the woman the Lord has made for you to be your wife and a suitable help for your life. 

Do not make a choice of life partner solely on the basis of love but on the basis of prayer. You need to confirm and be sure that it is the Lord that is presenting that woman to you before you release your love to her. As a woman, you also need to pray and seek the face of God to know if it is God presenting you to that man or it's just your emotions leading you. It is important to let God present you to the man He has ordained for your life before you release your love to him. 

There is an important question that we need to ask ourselves as we talk about love and marriage. The question is this: “Is love enough for a marriage to stand the test of time?” When we are able to answer this question properly, then we should be able to ascertain if love alone can be a reason for a man to go ahead to marry a woman and take her to be his wife.

From what I have learned of real life issues, love is hardly enough reason for a man to take a woman to be his wife. A strong and convincing consultation with God is a perfect and sure reason for a man to take the woman the Lord has presented to him as his wife and be married to her.

 Love as a catalyst will appear in the union over time if truly it is the Lord that has ordered your steps to that man to be his wife. Do not let love appear before your consultation with God, if love is released first, it obstructs your ability to hear clearly from God on the steps you are about to take, and it affects your ability to make clear and objective decision on whether or not the Lord wants you to marry that man or woman. Put the release of love on hold and hear from God first to be sure you are walking in line with God’s agenda for your life.

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