Tuesday 21 May 2013

The Purpose of Love In Marriage


Song of songs 8:6-7
Place me like a seal over your heart, 
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death, 
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, 
like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

The book of Song of songs speaks of the love that exist between two lovers, and this is a book that is good enough to be included in the word of God (the Bible). This book shows that the issue of love in marriage is of great importance. I will like to describe love in marriage as an emotion, a catalyst feeling infused by God into the man He has created and the woman He has presented to him to be his suitable help and wife to aid in binding the man and his wife together to become one in spirit and flesh according to the design and desire of God.
This kind of love described in the book of Song of songs is one that God created exclusively for the man and his wife in marriage. This love is one of, but not the only binding force in marriage, it is an emotional feeling that helps keep the man and his wife united in marriage. It enables the attraction of a man towards his wife, and the wife towards her husband. It is one of the catalyst forces that causes two flesh to become one in accordance with the declaration of Christ to the married couple. This love is sacred, it is of God and it is exclusively for those in or about to be in a marriage covenant.
According to the description we have of this love in the book of Song of songs, it is a strong feeling, Solomon said it is as strong as death (Song of songs 8:6). This love is a very strong binding force that brings about joy, peace, contentment and even rest between married couples when channeled properly and applied as the Lord intends it to be used. Other things that are produced from this strong love is a sense of belonging, it produces warmth and affection between a man and his wife. There is also a form of protection between the two married people as one spouse will always want to watch over the other to protect the one he/she loves.
But this love can also be misused and misappropriated, it can be aroused unnecessarily and this sweet binding force between a man and his wife can then turn into a venom that produces jealousy that is as unyielding as the grave. In the book of Song of songs 2:7, 3:5, 8:4 Solomon repeated a warning saying “daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” When this love that we have spoken so well of is aroused or awakened unnecessarily, it becomes very destructive and has devastating after effects. In as much as it is a catalyst that binds the man to his wife and the woman to her husband, it is also a strong feeling that arouses jealousy that is as unyielding as the grave.
There is an important step that precedes the release of love; we should keep in mind that it was after the Lord presented the woman to the man that she seized to be called woman but wife. Before you fall in love with that woman you saw and think you like, you need to first take the matter to God in prayers. You need to ask God questions and seeks answers to know if that is the woman the Lord has made for you to be your wife and a suitable help for your life. 
Do not make a choice of life partner solely on the basis of love but on the basis of prayer. You need to confirm and be sure that it is the Lord that is presenting that woman to you before you release your love to her. As a woman, you also need to pray and seek the face of God to know if it is God presenting you to that man or it's just your emotions leading you. It is important to let God present you to the man He has ordained for your life before you release your love to him. 
There is an important question that we need to ask ourselves as we talk about love and marriage. The question is this: “Is love enough for a marriage to stand the test of time?” When we are able to answer this question properly, then we should be able to ascertain if love alone can be a reason for a man to go ahead to marry a woman and take her to be his wife.
From what I have learned of real life issues, love is hardly enough reason for a man to take a woman to be his wife. A strong and convincing consultation with God is a perfect and sure reason for a man to take the woman the Lord has presented to him as his wife and be married to her.
 Love as a catalyst will appear in the union over time if truly it is the Lord that has ordered your steps to that man to be his wife. Do not let love appear before your consultation with God, if love is released first, it obstructs your ability to hear clearly from God on the steps you are about to take, and it affects your ability to make clear and objective decision on whether or not the Lord wants you to marry that man or woman. Put the release of love on hold and hear from God first to be sure you are walking in line with God’s agenda for your life.

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2 comments:

  1. I really couldn't agree more.I am a little past a year of divorce. At first I didn't believe I would ever date again or be married again. I still don't date, but am waiting on God to place the man before me that He has intended for me. Until then I will stay single. The ONLY way it will work is if it's of God.

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  2. Thank you Aderinsola for this article. I did exactly this 24 years ago. Sought the Lord's will of which I was 101% convinced it was and yet at that time there was an absence of love. The only thing that made me go ahead was obedience to what I believed the Lord was calling me to do. The foundations of my faith rocked after the I do. Friends and family stated that I had heard wrongly, or rather, interpreted it incorrectly. Even as I still live in a challenging situation I am convinced that this was the Lord's will and trust Him to see me through better days ahead. More than the pain of the situation, it is the peace that I am at the centre of His will.

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