Friday 22 April 2016

The Essence Of Unity In Marriage



It’s another gracious day, a day the Lord has made and we are destined to rejoice and be glad in it. It’s a beautiful day with a beautiful opportunity again to share the glorious word of God. The feedbacks have been very good, and I am positive that new and beautiful things are beginning to happen in many homes to the glory of God.
I have been hit several times by messages about the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ, I pray that when He does return, we will be ready to go with Him.
So we continue on our marriage talks and the next important component of a successful marriage that I want to discuss again is the power of unity. Unity in goal, unity in purpose, unity in pursuit, unity in objective, unity in achievement are all important for the success of the couple as a unit and then the success of the individual component that makes the unit. Jesus Christ said that "the house that is divided in itself cannot stand." There is no gainsaying that when married couples see themselves as competitors rather than a joint force with one common goal, that marriage will end in a misery. It’s either the husband is struggling to outdo the wife or the wife is aiming so very hard to be better than her husband. God did not institute marriage for this purpose at all.
Marriage is about a man lacking in some things and the Lord blesses him with a wife to fill in all the missing links in his life and so Solomon says in Proverbs 18:22 that “He who finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favour from the Lord."The woman is in the life of the man to complement him and not to compete with him, sharing the same goals, having the same focus and joining forces to wage war against the challenges of life that are lined up their path in life.
It’s important that we know some basic truth about marriage and then re-engineer our thoughts with regards to marriage in line with this truth. And the first fact about marriage is that the institution of marriage is bigger than any individual component of the institution. Yes, I form an important part of my marriage yet my marriage is bigger than me or my emotional feelings. My marriage is an institution established and ordained by God for a purpose that is far bigger than me. I am on assignment for God and as such God placed me in that marriage to fulfill a purpose for him.
In Genesis 2:18 God declared that it is not good for my husband to be alone and decided to make me as a suitable helper for him. It is true that I am in my husband’s life to help him and he is capable of coming up with various attitudes and characters that might upset me, but still I didn’t place myself in the life of my husband, God did. He is also watching me on how I am fairing on my assignment. So yes, there is my husband’s factor in marriage but there is the bigger picture of who sent me on assignment in the life of my husband. So there is a purpose and aim that God desires to achieve through me as He sends me on that assignment in my husband’s life. And this illustration explains why I have said that marriage is bigger than any individual component on the institution.
Also a man in marriage is not just in that marriage because he wishes to alone, in fact he has a lot more responsibility and more to report to God for. He has various duties that the Lord has lines up for him, one of such is to care for all that God created (Genesis 2:15), and he has also been given a suitable helper on that assignment who he has been asked to love and care for as himself, cleansing her by washing with water and the word (Ephesians 5:25-26). On these assignments the husband is answerable to God who is watching how he is handling the assignments. So you will appreciate that marriage is bigger than how we feel or what we think individually as spouses.
God has many aims and objectives he wishes to achieve through our marriages and so the fact that we have found ourselves together as husbands and wives is beyond what we see it to be. God allowed the union because we have assignments to fulfill for Him together. One of such assignment is found in Malachi 2:15, God in desiring godly offspring, brought the man and woman together as husband and wife to raise godly offspring for him.
In the coming together to two entirely different people, it’s inevitable that differences will surface in their union every now and then, this is because in truth they are different but only when these two different and uniquely wonder individuals come together to form a bond can they achieve for God what He desires to achieve through their them as one unit, and in so doing also have their own collective and individual goals and desires achieved. Because as they join forces to do for God what He wants done, then they can also be sure that as they please God, He is also making relentless efforts and meeting not just their needs but also their wants.
In marriage what is usually the case is that the weakness of one spouse is the strength of the other. I always tell wives that if their husbands were perfect then they don’t have a role playing in his life. The shortfall of your husband’s life is the reason you are his wife. If the husband is perfect the Lord will have no need forming a wife for him as his suitable helper. So capitalizing on your husband’s shortcomings as a reason to disdain him amounts to you not fulfilling your purpose in his life. In the same way as a husband you need to understand that you are not perfect and your wife is that God assigned helper to complete you. She is also not perfect, but she fits well into the missing link of your life. If you then, knowing that you are not perfect, will be wrong demanding perfection from your wife. But one truth is that the woman God has placed in your life possess all that is required by you to be all that God has destined you to be. You need to realize that you can also successfully be all that God has called you to be with the help of the suitable helper He has provided for you who is your wife. You will enjoy the full benefit of what God has provided for you in your wife when you learn to treat her well with unconditional love and care.
It also natural that as couples, you step on each other’s toes once in a while, it’s not unheard of that a husband will betray the trust of his wife, cheat on her and vice versa. It’s also natural that when that happens emotions will run wild and these emotions will be expressed strongly. But it’s very important to know when to run past the emotions of betrayal, let go of the hurting feelings and return your focus to the bigger picture of the purpose of your union and continue to make God the ultimate focus of your marriage. It is only then can you achieve much from and for your marriage, for God and for yourselves together as a couple and as individual component of the marriage.    


There will have the continuation of this topic in my next post and then I will try to dig up examples of marriages in the Bible on how unity in marriage has helped bring about success for God and for the individual component of the union in my next couple of posts.


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