I am so very sorry that I had to take another break, but it’s all in the bid to do something new. I am working at starting a new voice platform called Silver Lining and it’s going to be a regular podcast on marriage and other life issues. And also stay tuned for our marriage counseling platform coming up soon by the grace of God. I am trusting God to find me a worthy vessel to bring hope and positive change into the lives of His children in a dying world.
So much has been said so far on marriage issues, but the truth still remains that more still has to be said until the impact of what is being said is felt in the homes and lives of many. Christ needs to be seen and felt in our marriages and homes such that many will want to know the God we call on who has made such powerful and positive impact in our lives and long to know Him more just because of the good things they see Him do in our lives.
Marriage has never been at it lowest since the inception of the institution, just like moral life is also nose-diving and the economic life is at its lowest too. The cry of wives to be equal to their husbands has never been so loud as it is today.
The first thing God desires to deal with in our lives as we pray for His intervention and help for relieve and revival in a world of total economic and moral decay we have found ourselves in, is our marriage and homes. Whatever we encounter in the outside world whether good or bad is a product of a home and a marriage working well or gone bad. Every individual originates from a home constituted through marriage and the outcome of that small unit is what we see reflect in the world we are in today. And so if there is going to be a meaningful change in the world, then there must be a more meaningful change in the orientation of marriage from what we have today back to what God had in mind for it at the beginning.
I mentioned earlier than women are beginning to clamor for equality with the men in today’s world more than ever before. This issue of gender equality is trending in almost every part of the world. Although I do not support or subscribe to men running away from their responsibilities as fathers and husbands, I also do not agree that men and women are the same. But more importantly is the fact that husbands and wives do not share equality in marriage. The hierarchy is that the husband is the head of the home and his wife is his suitable helper. This is most explained in the fact that God formed the wife from the husband. This is so that the wife will know and understand that she came out of her husband and she is not independent of him, but rather complements him and not compete with him.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.
Genesis 2:18, 21-22
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.”
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken from the man, and he brought her to the man.
It is very true that the husband should be considerate in dealing with his wife, he is to love her like Christ loves the church and died to save her, he is to respect her and treat her tenderly as the weaker sex, but still the husband and wife are not mates in marriage. The husband is the head of the wife as the Lord has stated it to be.
As a matter of fact the woman was made from the man as his suitable helper so she knows, understands and appreciates that she is a portion of her husband and not a different entity from him. And that should be an indication for her to submit to him as her head of which she is a part of. In all that I am seeing in the passages above there is no portion that equates a husband to his wife or a wife to her husband, rather they are one and the same entity is different forms complementing each other.
As a wife if you have a problem with this equation and you totally disagree with this pattern, then the right place to channel your grievance is to God who made it so at the beginning. But fighting this order is challenging God as to His wisdom and pattern of arrangement at the beginning. Yes, I know and understand that your husband is mean and surly; I know he is impatient with you and treats you badly, but still he is your head and God didn’t make a mistake arranging it so. Try submitting to your husband like the Lord has asked you too and see if He’ll not turn around the situation for your good.
Before the men start to give me a thumbs up on this matter, it is true that the husbands and wives are not equal, but if you will lead in the pattern of Christ, then you have a lot of service to render to your wives. If you remember well, Jesus didn’t lord Himself over the church but rather lead them via his exemplary life style and through His service to the church. He provided for the church, He even washed the feet of His disciples and then offered the ultimate sacrifice with his life for theirs, that they may be saved. All these He did as the head of the church with unconditional love for her. Jesus led the church through service.
Such is the leadership that God requires of a husband to his wife. Not one that enslaves rather than promote, not one that looks down on rather than lift up. I strongly believe that a husband who leads his wife with love and respect through service is a husband that will enjoy his wife well and reap all the benefits that the Lord has stored up in her for him. What you sow in your wife with germinate for you and multiply for you to reap as a harvest. May the Lord bless our homes in Jesus name.