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Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Your Marriage Shouldn't Drive You Insane

I feel so thankful to God, not that I have everything working for me. As a matter of fact there is so much that I am still trusting God for, so much that I need him to do for me, but still I feel very grateful. It is so very easy to grumble and be resentful when it looks like the tides are blowing fiercely and God is nowhere to be found to still the raging storm of our lives. But in the middle of the storm is God fighting some unseen battles for us that we just never knew was taking place.

Recently I was going through one of those personal struggles too. Believe me, it felt like God didn't just care about me. Then one night I saw a bat flying in my house just a few minutes to midnight. My husband was out of town so I was home alone with my four young children. I live in the heart of town with no bushy surroundings, so just like me, you are wondering where the bats could be coming from and how it gained access into my house when my windows are permanently closed and the doors are always closed too. Then after I recovered from my shock, the Lord told me that these are the behind the scene battles that He engages in on my behalf that I never know of.

So you see why I say that it's easy to grumble at God when everything isn't going out as planned, yet God is working behind the scene to clear out the major obstacles of our lives in order for Him to solve the lighter ones later. I am learning to trust God rather than grumble even when I don't understand how and when He will make things happen for my good. It's just the only thing that will work for our good and silence the enemies of our souls.

I have heard it said over or over again that a lot of women are currently undergoing psychiatric treatment owing to the tough challenges they are facing in their marriages. Though I have not carried out any research to authenticate this claim, but going by the different sources I heard this information from and the confidence with which the claim was made, I have no doubt that in truth there a large portion of wives undergoing psychiatric treatment owing to marital pressure. Going by the economic challenges of the world today, it's not surprising that there will be it's ripple effect on marriages and other aspect of our individual lives. I have just gone through a bout of mind struggles myself too.

I am in no position to judge anyone who has allowed his/her spouse to drive him/her insane or to a point of imbalanced sanity. And I pray that the healing balm of God will flow through everyone having a problem such as this.

In my last post I made a discovery which I shared, and that discovery reveals that marriage is a work engagement. Marriage is not just for fun, sex, procreation or companionship as we sometimes limit it to. Marriage though includes all of these things, is bigger in scope than just these things that I listed. Marriage is you surrendering to God to be a vessel in His hands to make the life of the person you are getting married to better. Marriage is a call to service in the life of your spouse. The knowledge of this fact will better prepare those going into marriage, and better inform those already in marriage to know how to handle their marriage situation.

I totally agree to the fact that some spouse are very difficult to cope with, some do not understand or accept that they are one with their spouse both in flesh and spirit, some see their spouses as agents of their failure or downfall, some see their spouses as a mere possession that is of little value, some see their spouses just as money bags and ATM machines. I can continue to highlight the so many fault in the orientation and mindset of many individuals in marriage, but if just one of the pair can have a change of mindset then the healing of that marriage has began.

I want to now address the women who have allowed their husbands drive them insane or almost insane by first revisiting Genesis 2:18 where the Lord said it is not good for the man to be alone. Please understand that your husband is not a perfect being, if he was God would have told us so. He is a man with so many flaws and shortfalls. He is a man needing help and you are God's assigned helper for his life. You are on assignment for God to help take his life from just mere good to better and best with the help of the living God who has assigned you the job. Rather than allow your husband turn you from being a helper to being the one helped, you need to put a tight rein on your emotions, create a wall around the tantrums of your husband, look up to God for strength and grace and begin the assignment for which God created you and placed you in that marriage; which is to help your husband and not to be the one needing help as the case looks presently.

If you dare ask that can you really do this, I will confidently tell you Yes you can. True I am not married to your husband and I don't know what it is to be married to him, but I have had my own share of troubles in marriage and at that time you would have prayed not to be in my shoes. But with the help of my God through prayers, patience, submission and self-control God turned the situation around for me. I didn't divorce, same husband, same marriage but a better result.

Marriage is not designed by God to produce negativity in the lives of His people, and it's not a situation of some being luckier than others to have a marriage that shines. It is just that some are working harder and in the right direction to make their marriage work. Some might say they are working hard and yet they are not arriving at the desired result. Well if you are in that category I first want you to check the direction of your hard work and pray to God to know if you are working hard in the right direction. Then I want you to check your expectations, your demands might be out of place, so you might need to work on yourself. Don't compare your spouse or situation to the person next to you. It's a different race for everybody, but if you run your race you will get to your destination victoriously.

I have a good marriage, not because I am better than those who don't but because the grave of God is made available to be me as I work hard with determination that my marriage must be successful. I am still working at it as I write. Everyday I tap into God's wisdom for the next challenge that comes. That grace and wisdom is available for you too. It cost nothing at all, just a heart that is willing to pray and obey God's leading and a heart that is determined to have a successful marriage. May God bless our homes.

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