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Monday, 4 December 2017

The Making of a Successful Marriage

Welcome to the last month of the year 2017. It’s a year that personally I can’t complain about. I have taken stock and I can say will all confidence that God has been very good to me. I have not gotten all that I want from God but I have gotten more than enough to be grateful for and if God has brought me this far, I know He can and will take me through the full length. So I am thanking God and I believe you are too.
One thing I always do with God is that I love to ask Him questions. You know our little children love to ask any and every question so much that they get on your nerves with continuous questions about the same thing over and over again? Well that is how I am with God; I just want to know why and when and how of everything that concerns me.
Just like everyone else I did think that God was being fair when He instructed the wives to submit to their husbands in everything as unto the Lord. I assumed that it was lesser task for the men to love their wives than for the wives to submit their husbands, more so when you have a husband who is so unloving and lacks regard for your person as a wife and as a woman. God said in Jeremiah 33:3 that we should call on Him and He will answer us and show us great and unsearchable things that we do not know, so I took God on His words and I began to ask questions to know why He would say that women should submit to their husbands knowing the mindset of the men He created and how badly some men treat their wives. And up till now God has not changed the rules or updated them considering the trend in the world today.
God being faithful and true to His words gave me the answers to my questions and now I have a better understanding of the instructions and laws of God in marriage. For a man to progress in life and enjoy the fullness of God for his life some key values are very essentially. First as a married man UNITY in his marriage is a prerequisite to success in all other areas of his life. Unity in his marriage leads to peace of mind which enables him/her to focus for success and pursue goals without distractions.
The all-knowing God who knows the end from the beginning made the laws of marriage such that it fosters unity and encourages the peace that the man and his wife needs to have all round success in every area of their lives. When you rebel against the laws of God in your marriage for whatever reason, you jeopardize the unity of your marriage and compromise the peace of your home and in turn forfeit the successful life that God has earmarked for you.
Going against the law of God for your marriage and encouraging people to do the same is like a sin of rebellion against God. But I know that a lot of women who have had to endure a lot under the heavy yoke of a bad marriage would wonder why and how submission in marriage would encourage unity when they don’t even have peace with all they have sacrificed for the marriage? To this category of women I will say that no challenge is a waste and know for sure that what you are going through when committed to God has an expiry date when you have learned from the hands of God what He has purposed for you to learn through that challenge.
When you submit to your husband as unto God as an act pleasing to God, the Lord is bound to turn the situation around in your favor. If He did it for me, He will do more for you because He is not a partial God. When you submit to your husband like God wants you to and you are a prayerful wife, God will turn your husband’s heart to love you like he should. And in the same manner when a man loves his wife in the way and manner God wants him to, it’s just a matter of time before God turns the heart of his wife to submit to him like she should such that the unity that brings success will reign in their lives. It’s important to know and understand that just one of the spouse in a marriage working it right and working it out with God is enough to turn a bad marriage into a good one. 
You might wonder what the connection between UNITY in marriage and SUCCESS in life is. Well I have shared it on this blog over and over again and I will share it again now. This secret is found in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, vs 9 says “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.” This is just as straightforward as it is, they have a good return for their work. So when two work together they have better yield than if one is working alone. Then we also find in Genesis 11:6 which reads, “The Lord said, ‘If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.’” This is the secret that the enemy of your destiny is mindful of and so he will stop at nothing to ensure that you and your spouse do not speak as one people with one language because he knows that if you do, nothing you plan to do will be impossible for you. And so in order to live above impossibility you need to ensure that you do all that you can with the help of God to ensure the unity of your marriage which is a key to your success in life. This is the time that we need to get smarter than the devil.
The UNITY that brings ultimate success is the unity between a husband and his wife because from the beginning of time God had made them one in flesh and spirit. There are no other two people that should be more united speaking as one people with the same language as the husband and his wife that God Himself joined together. The unity of these two with God watching over them breaks every barrier to success in their lives.
Now that we understand the role of unity in the success of our lives the next thing we need to really understand is relationship between love and unity and submission and unity. When you SUBMIT to your husband and not just merely respecting or esteeming him, you wake up the love in him for you. Your act of submission digs up the love of your husband for you. When you submit, it’s just natural that along with that submission is respect and obedience, and when you submit to your husband thereby obeying and respecting him you are invariably making him the king of your life. Your husband being a king confers on you the status of his queen. If you are the wife of a king then without any question or argument or analysis, you are a queen of his life. If there is no curse in place or external evil forces having a field day in your marriage, in a natural world a man tends to love a wife who submits to him, obeys him and respects him and is able to show some level of intelligence in the marriage. So as a wife who is praying, if you want your husband to love you then make him the king of your life, submit to him, obey him and respect him and see if you will not dig out the love in him for you.  
In the same way, when a man loves his wife unconditionally and sacrificially in the manner with which Christ loves the church he makes her his queen. I am a woman and I can say for a greater percentage of women that we will submit more to a husband who loves us and shows that he loves us than a husband who does not care about us. So the more a man shows unconditional love to his wife, the more he makes her submit to him. The more you make your wife a queen in your life, the more you become the king in her life. A man who loves his wife unconditionally earns the respect and obedience of his wife.
So putting this together, when a man loves his wife sacrificially and the wife submits to her husband in everything, they please each other. When they are pleasing each other, they are at peace with each other and when they are at peace with each other there is unity between them because they will agree on almost everything. When they cultivate that unity diligently, they are sowing seeds to their success. Don’t try to envy these category of people because they are not lucky like so many want to believe they are, they have worked hard to attain the level of comfort they are enjoying in their marital lives. They have identified some important keys to success and they are working hard to attain them.
But you and your spouse can enjoy what those that are assumed to be lucky are enjoying when you start to fight for the peace of your marriage by obeying the instructions of God for your marriage. After all the Bible says we should fight the good fight of faith. 

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