Hello people, it’s another wonderful opportunity to learn a little from the throne of God about something useful that can help our marriages move from where it is now to where God has destined it to be, being mindful of the fact that our marriages are designed and destined by God to be a promised land for us who are in it; a land flowing with milk and honey, a place of comfort and rest and an abode of joy and happiness.
Some marriages are already enjoying a glimpse of this promised land, while some still have their marriages as a valley of shadow of death in which they are making effort to endure rather than enjoy. But all that is needed to get to where we want to be is as simple as following God’s instructions for our marriages to the tiniest detail and then letting God rearrange what He alone can rearrange in our marriages.
But sincerely there are so many trivial issues that the devil is using as opportunities to steal away joy and laughter from many homes. And when we are not on our guard the devil uses these trivial issues to gain foothold where it should not until he destroys completely the joy of the marriage and in a lot of cases not just the joy but the marriage itself. In my post today I want us to look at one or two of these trivial issues as examples and then we can look at our own marriages in view of this and be on our guard.
I will use my own marriage as the first example, and here is the story. I share the same tablet of bathing soap with my husband, and my husband is a very meticulous personality, quite detailed in his view of things. Personally I take my bath with the soap in the bathroom and when I am done I clean the bathroom area where I must have splashed foams of soap while bathing and then leave. But my husband is so particular that I wash the tablet of soap after every bath. He had complained about this once or twice and when I realized it was becoming an issue, I made it a point to always remember to wash even the soap when I am done bathing. I would not allow the devil use this very simple thing to steal my joy away. Things as simple as this has been the foundation of some broken marriages.
I also heard of the story of a wife who cannot stand her husband eating in their bedroom and the husband on his part finds it hard sitting on the dining table to eat his meals. He would rather eat his meal in bed while watching a movie. This is an attribute of the husband that freaks the wife out so badly. It so gets on the nerves of the wife that her husband would rather eat on their matrimonial bed than on the dining table. It was an issue that she had been trying to correct without success. This simple issue had been eating into her peace and making her grouchy as a wife. It had affected her effectiveness as a wife. And after a while she decided to damage the television power outlet and pretended she didn’t know how it happened. This invariably forced the husband to resort to eating on the dining table since the T.V he loved to watch while eating wasn’t working any longer. At least there would be a form of peace for the wife till the television power outlet get repaired.
Interestingly my husband loves to eat in bed too and I sincerely don’t see anything wrong in it, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good or bad habit or that another wife has no right to detest the habit, it just simply means that every day we have very trivial issues affecting our marriages and we need to be on our guard. Sometimes simple sacrifices will do to solve the problem, but sometimes we need to look a little deeper.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after everything, to stand. Stand firm then.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
It’s important that we are mindful of the fact that our marriages are battlefields, and when I mean battlefields, I do not mean battlefield for a husband and his wife to destroy themselves, neither is the battle in question between the husband and his wife, but between the marriage unit (which consist of husband and wife) and the devil. The devil is not interested in the success of any marriage because unity in marriage is a vital key to success in the individual lives of those in the marriage. When there is unity in the marriage, impossibility is eradicated and success is sure.
And so the devil brings up these seemingly trivial issues in marriages just to destabilize the marriage and introduce chaos in that marriage unit. Once he is successful in this, he is not just destabilizing the marriage, he is destabilizing every other area of the individual lives of the married couples and thereby introducing into their lives all sorts of negativity that will prevent them from reaching the full potential of their destiny and attaining and possessing all that God has laid in store for them.
When you allow trivial issues to take a foothold in your marriage then you have given the devil a head start to have a free playing field in your marriage. The Bible says we are not ignorant of the devices of the devil.
Handle these trivial issues as soon as they rear their ugly heads before they take a foothold in your marriage. If you need to give up your stand just to let peace reign then it is worth the sacrifice. Paul said in the passage above that “we demolish arguments and pretentions that sets itself against the knowledge of God and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). When things that could cause contention and strife in your marriage is stared up, nip it in the bud, swallow your pride and work for peace, and above all pray. Arrest any thought within you that would not work for the good of your marriage. Never let those thought have a resting place in your heart.
The trick of the devil is to make you feel that your spouse is your enemy, but as Christians we should know better. Paul said that our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against rulers, authorities, power of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Your spouse is not in the heavenly realm, he/she has flesh and blood just like you and so the fight is not against him/her. The real enemy are what Paul has highlighted for us in the passages above.
Just like you are in the battlefield fighting, so is your spouse. You will both do yourself a lot of good when you join forces together to fight your common enemy which is the devil. Your husband or wife might not be acting right, but they are not the problem, they are just what the devil wants you to see as the problem, the victory lies in you looking beyond your spouse to fight the real enemy of your joy which is the devil and whatever force is behind your husband or wife's inappropriate actions and attitudes. And good enough the weapons you fight with are not weapons of this world. They are weapons with power to pull down every stronghold.
Trivial issues, as trivial as they may seem have destroyed many marriages, its time to wake up from your slumber and destroy that which is aimed at destroying you. Hold unto God and enjoy peace in your marriage. I pray you remain blessed.