Will God Tell You to Divorce Your Spouse?

I have watched a handful of social media Reels and Shorts and listened to women say categorically that God told them to file for a divorce. Because I am not one to argue on social media, I thought to bring the issue here. And this is something that burns deep in my spirit and causes unrest within me.

I don’t know which God spoke to these women, but one thing I am most certain of is that God will not contradict Himself. Psalm 138:2 says, “God honors His word above all His names.” So, more than what anyone thinks they have heard from God, His written word supersedes it. If what you have heard does not align with what is in the Bible, then maybe it was more of your emotions talking to you and not God.

In Malachi 2:16, the Bible tells us in plain terms that God hates divorce; in Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus reiterates this truth when He said at the beginning God made them male and female, and He joined them together, and so they are no longer two but one, and what God has joined together, let not man separate. Further, in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Paul says, as a command from God and not him, a wife is not to separate from her husband, and if she does, she is to remain unmarried, and a husband is not to divorce his wife. So, when it comes to the issue of marriage, these are the words of God which He holds in honor more than His name.

If you happen to be in a marriage that is abusive and it is affecting you mentally, emotionally, or physically negatively, and you don’t have the strength of faith to remain in it, and you feel the safe thing for you to do is walk away for your own sanity and mental well-being, that is okay to say. But to come to the public space and claim God told you to divorce even though you wanted to work on that marriage is a lie, it is misleading, and it is a sin before God and man.

When God says He hates divorce, He did not give an exception. And if your marriage is bad and you are receptive to the leading of the Holy Spirit without the hardness of your heart, God will heal and restore your marriage. He is a God that is not bound by impossibilities, and nothing is difficult for Him to do. But people divorce because of the hardness of their hearts, like Jesus said in Matthew 19:8, and not because God told them to divorce.

One of the characteristics of God that we know is that He is a faithful God who keeps His covenant (Deuteronomy 7:9). As His children, formed and fashioned in His image and likeness, we are designed to keep covenants, just like our Father in Heaven, in Whose image and likeness we have been formed.

Marriage is a covenant, and divorce is an act of breaking a covenant, which is not a characteristic of God, and so if we are truly God’s children, we will hate what He hates and love what He loves. And even when we are in a tight position where we think our strength is failing us on the assignment of marriage and keeping that covenant, the Throne of God and His presence are the place to run to, and not the divorce court. But, if we choose to divorce, we should not sound righteous by telling a lie that God says we should divorce.

If you have done what God hates, and He decides to show you mercy, it does not make divorce right. God hates divorce, but does not hate the divorcee. Just like God showing mercy to a thief does not make stealing right. And so, it is crucial not to misunderstand or misinterpret mercy for permission.

I agree that some serious-minded godly people who eventually went through a divorce would have prayed to God for His intervention, some have waited on God, and He just seemed to be quiet on the issue of their marriage. So, they assumed the silence of God as permission to divorce.

But was God silent? Or was it that they did not recognise His voice in the flood of emotional chaos that they were battling with? Another possibility is that what the silent whisper of God was saying to them was a sharp contrast from what they were expecting to hear. And so, they concluded it wasn’t God, it was their minds providing an excuse for what they know is wrong, and just giving an excuse for the wrong done to them by their spouse.

I say these things because I have been there before. I know the feeling. I write glowingly about my husband today, but honestly, many years ago, it wasn’t so. There was a time in my marriage when I had begged God desperately for permission to walk out of my marriage. When I was confronted with the truth that God hates divorce, I begged Him for death. And it was that bad.

But rather than permit me, because He is a covenant-keeping God, and would not bend His rules for me or contract Himself and go back on His words, He gave me a strategy to repair and restore my marriage. For every prayer that I made, and every one of my cries to God about my marriage, the response I got was to submit to my husband as to the Lord.

It did not make sense at that time. I heard the voice in my spirit, and when I opened my bible, the scripture stared me in the face. I was the born-again one between my husband and me; I was the one who prayed more, who had a relationship with God, and yet I was the one the Lord was telling to give more.  

I was pained, I argued with God, it didn’t feel fair. But the Lord told me point-blank that if I wanted His intervention in my marriage, I needed to do as He says. I reluctantly succumbed and prayed that He teach me the kind of submission that He was talking about. Up till that time, I assumed I submitted to my husband, until the Lord showed me that what I had for my husband was just respect and love, but not submission.

I learned to do precisely what my husband instructs me to do, even when it did not make sense. Initially, it was tough, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, submission became my pattern, and God defended that submission and protected me through it.

But my submission became a tool in God’s hands for the healing of my marriage. Over time, I began to see positive changes in my husband’s attitude towards me. He began to show more love and care, and he started paying more attention to me. It’s been over 12 years now, and my marriage is healed.

I will not tell you that misunderstandings don’t exist any longer in my marriage, but the presence of God lives in it. The Lord restored what was once broken. What looked like the only possible solution, a divorce or death, is now a beautiful union; same marriage, same husband. The only thing that shifted was my willingness to walk with God on the road to restoration. I did not harden my heart.

I conclude with this: this is my own story, this is my experience and my reality. But some stories would not end like mine, and that does not make them less of God’s children than me. God’s grace and abundance are available to us all to the capacity of our ability. Whatever your own story or experience, that is what is real to you; God’s mercy is what we all enjoy. But if you find yourself entangled in divorce, you are still loved by God.

Nevertheless, God’s mercy over a divorcee does not mean He permitted it or is happy you did it. But He loves you all the same. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

Who is a wife

Some of the many issues wives face in marriage are hinged on the fact that they really don’t know who they are and their role in marriage, other than the acquired definition of a wife from tradition, society, and unhealthy norms. But based on the author of marriage – God, we need to know the true meaning of a wife and her assignment and role in marriage.

Genesis 2:18-25 describes this role quite clearly. At the beginning of this scripture, God, who created everything and said it was good, observed that it was not good for the man to be alone. Of all that God had made, He could not find a suitable helper for the man, so He created a helper from the man for the man.

So, God created a woman from Adam, and He presented her to him as his suitable helper, and she became his wife. Of the many assignments that a wife gets to perform, her primary assignment is to be a suitable helper to her husband. So based on the truth of the bible, a wife is a suitable helper to her husband.

When we say a wife is a suitable helper to her husband, this can be viewed in various contexts. A wife as a helper is not a maid; instead, she is a powerhouse of value that helps in the fulfillment of her husband’s destiny. She is an embodiment of God’s favor in the life of her man. She is God’s favor personified in her husband’s life. (Proverbs 18:22)

The success of a wife in her God given assignment is tied to the quality of help she can provide and contribute to her husband’s life. But her value is not derived from her husband, but from God; her strength does not come from her husband but from God. She pours from the value she receives from God into her husband through the fulfillment of her God given assignment as a suitable helper to her husband.  

If a wife understands that her value, strength, and worth are not derived from her husband, but from God, then she would know that her self-esteem and self-worth are not from her husband but from God. That said, if your husband is not the source of your strength, he should not be the drain of your worth and your value. No matter the disposition of your husband towards you, you should not allow him to drain your value because he is not the source of it.

If we understand that the value, strength, and worth of a wife are not derived from her husband but from God, then it is worthy of note that the quality of help that we give to our husbands as an assignment from God to us should not be determined by the behavior of our husbands. Because your husband is bad does not translate to you being a bad wife. Two wrongs never make a right.

Your assignment as a wife comes from God; God measures the quality of your performance on that assignment and your scorecard. God does your appraisal on the job. It is to God that you will give account, so having a bad husband will not be a good enough excuse to God for being a bad wife.

It is important to note that as long as God is satisfied with the quality of your help as a wife, your husband has no choice but to fall in line and behave in the manner that God instructs him to act towards you, or else, he has God to answer to. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 10:6 that every disobedience will be punished when your own obedience is complete. 1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands to treat their wives well so that their prayers may not be hindered. So, you see that God will not allow you to provide valuable help to your husband in vain.     

There are many tools at the disposal of a wife to use in successfully fulfilling her God given assignment as the suitable helper to her husband. Some of those tools include wisdom, understanding, discernment, and many more as the Lord reveals them by His grace. But the most important of these tools is submission.

We cannot overemphasize the importance of submission in marriage. But in today’s blog, my focus is not on submission itself, but on how you submit. As a wife, are you submitting as a weakling who needs to be supervised closely or as a powerhouse full of value and as someone loaded with intelligence and wisdom?

In a lot of job postings, one essential requirement is the ability to work under minimal supervision and to have problem-solving skills. As a wife, can your husband entrust you with a task and you deliver on it with exceptional perfection? If you have been able to do this multiple times, there is no doubt that you would have earned the respect of your husband numerous times.

I know some men can be overbearing; some men are obsessed with micromanaging their wives as a show of strength, and sometimes due to ego issues. Some men find it hard to take advice from their wives, probably because they see her as incapable of delivering value. As wives, how can we deal with this and correct the trend?

My first go-to place in a situation such as this is the throne of God. Without arguing or trying to correct any notion my husband has, I will first go back to God, Who is my source of value. At some point, your spouse will bring up issues of concern in your conversations every now and then. This is not the time to offer solutions or render opinions. Those issues of concern would be your prayer points.

You would want God to render solutions and strategies through you. When you are speaking, you won’t be doing so from a place of limited knowledge, but you will be a mouthpiece for God so that your opinions and advice have their roots in God. When your husband dismisses your advice and runs with his own approach, and the problem is not solved, he’ll return to your advice, and then the problem gets solved because that solution was not originally yours, but it came from God through you in the place of prayer. And then, he’ll start to trust your judgement and respect your views. That is how the value of a wife is built in marriage.

When this happens multiple times, and the efficacy of your problem-solving skills is tested and proven to be good, your spouse begins to trust you, rely on your advice, and get vulnerable with you more. You become a safe place for him. You would have earned his respect not by simply being his wife, but by the value you have been able to pour into his life.

So, I will conclude with this: a wife is a suitable helper to her husband. To be a helper, she will have to be a problem-solver. To effectively be a problem-solver, she must have her roots deep in God. She must realize and know for sure that she is limited in herself, and so she needs the unlimited God to be successful in her assignment. God measures her scorecard; her value is derived from God, and her husband’s character is not an excuse to fail God in her assignment as a wife. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

Fighting Distraction? Let’s Discuss that Now

Have you ever woken up and set out to get some things done, and you never get around to doing them? Like you have your goals all set out, you have a roadmap to how to get things done, you have planned and prepared, even made some small financial commitments, but you never get to find the time to accomplish those things? If that is you, welcome to my world.

For whatever reason, some of the things that are supposed to be important to me end up being the things I hardly have the time for. I am super busy doing other things, but not those things that are designed for my personal growth. And that has been a genuine concern for me and a major prayer point today.

Paul in Romans 7:15 says, “What he is doing, he does not understand. What he wills to do, he is not doing, but what he hates is what he finds himself doing.” And to me, this is very relatable. I have my leading from God; I have prayed, I have received the strategy, the Lord has shown me the roadmap to where I should be going, but the problem is taking the step.

For someone going somewhere destined for great things, something like this may not be strange in your life. The devil can’t stop you from praying; he can’t stop God from speaking to you and giving you a strategy to greatness, but he can flood your life with distractions that will prevent you from accomplishing all that God has called you to be.  

The tricky part of all these is that your distractions are legitimate activities that will come up. They are things that feel so important that they will not look like distractions. They are in your to-do list; it’s just the priority that is the question. By the end of the day, you would have taken care of the bottom items of your list while leaving the top items undone.

One of the most significant inhibitors of growth in the life of a man is not a lack of strategy or lack of skill; it is the excessive presence of distractions. If the devil will not stop your skill accusation, and cannot stop your prayers, he will stop you by distracting your attention and derailing you from your path.

Let me make this a little more real to you. Let’s say you have skills in a particular area, you have looked for your job, but it’s not forthcoming; you have prayed, and the Lord says, “Don’t bother to get a job.” He goes ahead to show you your path to greatness, given the skill set that you possess.  

And then people around you start to tell you that you have not applied enough. You just can’t give up on applying. Then, every 15 minutes, you get job alerts from the many job platforms that you have created alerts on. The time you should be using to build on the strategy the Lord has given you, you are using to build and rebuild resumes and create cover letters, for job applications that will come back with the sentence “We are sorry, we will not be moving forward with you.”

The question now is not about diligence or focus, but what you are diligent at and what your focus is on. The devil has flooded your heart and life with distractions that you are heading in the wrong direction, far from the goal that God has shown to you.

Sometimes it comes with tiny contrary ideas, more like your own shortcut version of what God has laid out before you. In some cases, you have told yourself you need money to start off. You spend so much time trying to raise the capital with no success and with plenty of frustration that you lose sight of what God has told you and the direction He has asked you to take.

If this is your story as much as it is mine, then we need something more than diligence to walk through the doors of abundance that the Lord has opened to us. If God has blessed you with His promise to bless you and He has given you the blueprint to your road to success, don’t bother adding to or removing from that blueprint; just follow it blindly. God will lead you to where His grace will not lie in wait for you. And this is one of the steps to combat distractions.

Challenges come in various forms; it could be a closed door in your pursuit of a breakthrough, or a health issue,  a financial issue, a marital issue, or even a family issue. But know now that distraction is also a big challenge that should be dealt with, with as much seriousness and prayers, as you would deal with all these other issues that I have mentioned.

Distractions prevent you from hitting your goal and achieving greatness. It inhibits your growth and prosperity and leads to frustration, which leads to emotional issues, and then mental issues and possibly death. This is how dangerous distractions can be.

When people complain of stagnancy in life, it could be as a result of a lack of knowledge (God says, “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6), it could as a result of your inability to hear from God to know where He is leading you, it could God training you and preparing you for something great that requires you to wait, or it could be a result of distractions.  

The problem of distraction is one that you need to pray hard and seek the help of God about. It is a very subtle destroyer, a time waster, and a destiny killer. You should not take the issue of distractions lightly if you are someone faced with that challenge. The devil uses distractions to steal your time and keep you stuck in one place.

Today’s blog speaks to me as much as to anyone who finds this topic relatable, and it has been a challenge that I have been praying about. But God is faithful; He is not leaving me to fight this battle of distraction alone. Because I have so much that I am responsible for, I get overwhelmed and I feel the burnout. For me, every task is a priority. But God has not abandoned me yet, and the management of my time is one thing I have handed over to Him, and I can see His hand helping me.

Look around you and observe the trend in your life. You may be just a step to your breakthrough, and the only thing the devil is using to hold you down is distraction. You are skilled, productive, and strategic, yet you are not hitting the mark because your mind is flooded with noise.

Sifting through the noise can be a huge task. Everything is important; you don’t want to appear selfish or self-seeking, but too many tasks are slowing down your momentum. This is a big issue that is worth praying about.

Even the battle of your time is not yours to fight; let God fight it for you, and just relax and feel the noise quietened around you with peace that helps you focus on the items of utmost priority in your life and growth. He is doing it for me, I know He’ll do it for you too. That peace for focus comes from Jesus. John 14:27 tells us that Jesus has given us peace. If you don’t feel it yet, go ahead and ask again in prayer. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.