The Wife And Her Unmotivated Husband

The Lord God said that it is not good for the man to be alone, and so He made a fitting/suitable help for the man in the person of a woman and then brought her to the man to be his wife (Genesis 2:18-25). Since I began to understand the full meaning of this passage, I knew that I had a very important role to play in the life of my husband and an assignment to fulfill for God in my husband's life.
Noting that God did not specify the aspects of a man's life where the wife would be required to come in and help, then it means that in every area of a man's life where help is required, the suitable/fitting help that God has made and provided for him in the person of his wife is to come in and help in accordance to the plan and purpose of God for marriage.
But then for the purpose of this blog post, how is a wife expected to handle and deal with a lazy or better put, an unmotivated husband? Mindful of the fact that the wife is suppose to help her husband but definitely not to assume his responsibilities as her. Some men who understand their roles and responsibilities as the head of the home, who have been assigned by God to lead the family unit and shepherd the family unit in every way, are self-motivated and as such strife to meet up with what God has assigned them to do for their family.
But not all are self-motivated. As a matter of fact some men take comfort in the fact that if they do not carry out their assignment, their wives will take up these roles. This happens the most in cases of financing for the home. Quite a handful of men rest on this particular responsibility on their lives due to the fact that they know that their wives have good jobs, or earn good income and as such they do not have to strife just as hard to make money for the family as the money required for the home is already provided for by their wives.

1 Timothy 5:8
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

2 Thessalonians 3:7-10
For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, labouring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat." 

The passage above shows the expectations of God from the shepherd of God over a family unit. Looking up the meaning of the word shepherd from the dictionary, I found this meaning that really relates to what this blog post is all about.One of the definitions of the word shepherd says "a person who protects, guides or watches over a person or group of people." So if the man is regarded as the shepherd of the family unit, that confers on him the responsibility of the one who protects, guides or watches over the family. In the course of doing all these, he needs to be the one who provides for the family too. So it is not strange when Paul said in 1 Timothy 5:8 that a man who does not provide for his relatives, especially his immediate family has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Such a man is not working or operating according to the plan of God for the family. He is deliberately running away from his God given assignment.
But even to this man described above, a wife has been assigned to him as a suitable help. What role is the wife to play in the life of this man? Is she to assume his role of the shepherd of the family or try to motivate him to assume his God assigned responsibility?
These questions are what I trust God to help us answer through this blog post. 1). The wife is a helpmeet and not the original burden carrier. She to assist the man in fulfilling his responsibility and not to assume the responsibility herself. 2). She cannot neglect the identified problem in her husband's life as one who lacks motivation and the will to fulfill his God given assignment as one who provides for his family. 3). She can try to motivate her husband, but for a hardened man who is not willing to change, she will be seen as one who nags rather than one who is wanting to help. So the wife can be seen as one who is at a loose at what to do.
But there is one option that cannot fail the wife who has been saddled with the responsibility to help this man as described above. That one very sure option is prayer. There is no problem that bets the reach of God. And there is no problem that is above God's solution. When a wife is fervent in prayer and holding firmly to God night and day over the identified problem in the life of her husband, it is just a matter of time for God to create an urgency in the life of that man that will awaken him from his slumber and trigger in him the need to raise up and begin to work in fulfilling his God given assignment.
There is no need for you as a wife to loose heart at your husband's nonchalant attitude to life and his responsibility. When you have learnt to pray heard for him, God will awaken in him the need to do that which he is required to do as the head of the family and the shepherd of your home. But while waiting on God, you are also needed to help take care of the needs in the home so that the problems in your family is not visible to the outside world. 
I will want to emphasize at this point that if the husband is genuinely making effort and striving hard to provide for his family but is having some bottlenecks in his effort that it is just ideal for the wife to come into the picture and render support. If she temporarily becomes the sole provider for the family it is okay as long as its still a support role. May the Lord uphold our homes to the glory of His holy name.