So, in my last post, we discussed a bit on the issue of the insecurity feeling in marriage. I said then and I still maintain that in one's capacity you cannot stop a spouse who is bent on cheating from actually cheating but you can trust God to do in your marriage what you cannot do by yourself.
But today we will consider situations whereby a spouse originally didn’t intend on cheating but found himself/herself in such a mess owing to the negligence of his/her partner. In as much as I wouldn’t want to give an excuse for cheating, I will say that there are some things we do that might give our spouses reasons to be unfaithful to us.
Now there are some things that your spouse saw in you that made him/her prefer you as a choice of a life partner far above other possible contenders. I know that prayer plays a big role in choosing a life partner but there are some other additives that caused an attraction between you two in the first instance.
What happens in some marriages is that those indicators that caused the attraction are downplayed or totally eroded in some other marriages such that the husband or wife begins to look for what he/she saw in their spouse that made them say the word “I do” on that wedding day and totally can’t find a clew to those things and they begin to wonder why they agreed to the union in the first instance.
One of those big indicators that get lost in marriage is physical appearance. While some men experience unattractive physical appearance after marriage, a lot of women find themselves looking like a shadow of what they looked like before their marriages. For the women, one of the big reasons for this is childbirth, which is inevitable, but I am also on the learning that I shouldn’t lose myself to childbirth.
God has been gracious to us by giving us a body, it is our responsibility to take care of that body which God has given us to the best of our ability and even beyond. Rather than lose those indicators and catalyst of attraction that drew your spouse to you which resulted in marriage, you need to build on them. Growing old should not mean growing stale. Despite the pressure of marriage, the pressuring of parenting and many other pressures that might be distracting you, you need to take the time out for yourself to pay attention to you.
In addition to a wife being a good home-maker, a good cook, a good mother, a perfect wife, a reliable support, a prayer warrior, she also needs to be a beautiful woman, an attractive lady to her husband, a lady that constantly defies aging signs, an intelligent woman, a creative personality. It is when she is all these and more that she becomes a total woman, an indispensable wife and at no time at all will her husband wonder why he married her. Rather he is ever proud of himself that he made the right choice.
Though most wives don’t really worry over the looks of their husbands, yet some do. And husbands also ought not to lose that one thing that made them attractive to their wives. In the midst of the pressure of providing for the home, men should take the time out to deal with their growing waistlines and potbellies. Looking good also means staying healthy. So just as you are trying to maintain the good looks that contribute to your confidence as a husband, you are also taking precautionary steps in staying healthy and fit.
Never let the fire of your marriage die, there will be challenges along the way but they are always issues that you can overcome with God’s wisdom, with patience, tolerance, and understanding. And also, never let your marriage go stale, don’t get so consumed in the marriage that you forget to take care of you. You are a vital part of the marriage, without you there is no marriage, once you get stale your marriage gets stale also.