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Wednesday, 11 March 2020

Let's Talk Insecurity in Marriage


One thing that gets a lot of wives agitated in marriage is that guts feeling that their husbands may be cheating on them and this is not limited to young couples. Even the older ones get to have that sense of insecurity sometimes.
Now, you might then want to ask if it’s wrong to feel insecure in marriage. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with you feeling insecure in marriage most especially when you can find one or two signs that have necessitated a sense of insecure feeling. But then, the feeling of insecurity can be extremely harmful to your marriage. When you begin to feel insecure, then trust is on the collapse. With trust gone, then unity in marriage makes its way out too. Suspicion then creeps in and brings with it loads of misunderstandings, arguments, quarrels, and even fights.
Before I carry on with this post I need to point to the fact that it’s not just that wives who are burdened with the feeling of insecurity in marriage, it’s a two-way thing and so we will look at this issue of insecurity in marriages from both the husband and wife’s point of view.
So, the main focus of this blog is knowing how to deal with insecurity in marriage. One bitter truth about dealing with this kind of issue is that the resolution to this issue all starts and ends with you. My number one solution to any problem is with God. That is, my ability to present the problem to God listen for instructions from Him and follow His leading on tackling the problem. So to say that you should not expect your spouse to stop whatever it is they are doing that is causing you to feel insecure, but to trust God to teach you what to do to deal with it.
There is something I do in my marriage that has helped me to handle to a great extent the issue of insecurity and that big thing is embedded in prayers. Consistently I pray for my husband that God will make him faithful to me and that whatever temptations he may face that will jeopardize the peace and unity of my marriage, that the Lord will prevent him from falling into such a temptation.
The issue is not that I trust or do not trust my husband not to cheat on me, the issue is that I trust God to hear and answer my prayers. I trust Him enough to know that He who is God is faithful to keep that which I have entrusted in His care. So, because of my confidence in God through Christ, I feel secure in my marriage.
You may feel that this approach is not concrete enough not to rely on, one truth that you will be confronted with as you try other methods outside of God to keep infidelity away from your marriage is that there is absolutely nothing you can do to make a cheating spouse stop cheating. Look as beautiful or handsome as you can, cook the best meals and spend your life out, if a spouse will cheat, he/she will do so. But we know that the hearts of kings and princes are in the hands of God and like the watercourse, He directs them as He pleases. So only God can cause your spouse to remain faithful to you. This is an assignment that only God is capable of handling for you. Don't spend yourself out trying to do what only God can make happen for you. Direct your energy in trusting God to keep and maintain the peace and love of your marriage after you have done all that is within you to do and you have obeyed God's instructions for your marriage. 


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