I watched a movie a couple of hours ago, and the storyline centered on the ability of a wife-to-be to balance being the CEO of a company she founded with being a committed wife. The to-be mother-in-law, who had to forgo her dreams of being a doctor to become a mother and a wife, assumed that this was the ideal situation and the norm. Her son's desire to marry a career woman was met with strong opposition.
Balancing home and work is a significant challenge for
mothers in real-world situations. The global economic crisis does not support a
single source of income for families, and the home front is also of enormous
importance. And there is the Proverbs 31 woman dancing in your face as an ideal
standard. Sometimes, we are all tempted to wonder if this Proverbs 31 woman can
actually exist in reality.
Let me paint a picture of what this can look like in
reality. The wife ensures the house is clean and tidy; she makes sure there is
food for the entire family at every meal time; she prepares her family ahead of
time in anticipation of any eventuality; practically speaking, she ensures that
there is enough to take care of the family in winter, spring, summer, and fall;
adequate items of clothing, bus-passes, school rides; then for children
involved in extra-curricular activities; she ensures that is also factored in
her plan and schedule. Then, putting this all together, she has to work and
earn an income.
The first thought that comes to mind is: where is the
husband/father in all this madness? And this ask is a hundred percent justified
because this feels like a death sentence for a wife/mother. Some men are just
over and above and will help take up a chunk of this burden off their wives.
But this does not happen in all cases. Take, for example, a husband who has to
live in another city, state, or country due to work demands; the husband would
have loved to be there, but he justifiably cannot. Yet the mother has to carry
all this weight by herself.
It is common for a woman to be expected to set aside her
dreams to support everyone else in the family. But this should not always be
the case. A wife is called to be a suitable support to her husband. That
assignment is not limited to a particular area of a man's life; it includes
support in every area of a man's life, including his finances. Therefore, it is
only a woman who is financially capable that can adequately support her husband
financially.
Now, we have established that a wife has the responsibility
to take care of the home and family, and then she is assigned to support her
husband, which includes providing financial support. How, then, can she manage
all these without losing her mind and still take care of her personal
well-being and self-care?
Wives and mothers have had to enlist the help of maids or
external helpers to assist them, which in many cases has been very helpful but
not without its own downsides. It is common for the children of mothers with
intense and challenging careers to suffer neglect. They have the luxury of
parental financial strength but lose the presence and love of their parents.
In my own life, I have had to pursue family over a career.
But my life has happened in phases. I have my passion burning inside me, but I
have my family as my focus. But there is no one-size-fits-all in the journey of
life. While one pattern suits one, it may not suit another. While I found
myself as a stay-at-home mum, which I do not regret, I never stopped pursuing
personal development. However, the most important thing I want to share, at the
core of this blog, is to let God lead your steps in life.
I didn't set out to be a stay-at-home mom, but I stumbled
into this life, and I embraced it. I forfeited my financial independence as a
big sacrifice to stay home and care for my family myself, but I have a lot more
than money in my portfolio. I have my relationship with God as a tremendous
asset. Being at home has afforded me the flexibility of spending time with God.
I consider my children a valuable asset because, by the grace of God, they are
growing in the goodness of God. I have a loving husband as an asset. My
marriage would have been dead and buried if I had placed my career first.
However, the beautiful thing is that I now have the
opportunity to rebuild. My children are all grown, and I am beginning to give
my dreams life, thanks to God's grace. The thing about my journey is that the
strategy was not mine but God's. The Lord has been the strategist of the path
of my life. A large portion, if not all, of that path has been wrapped up in
mystery, even to me. Many of my plans have been upturned by God for something
far better than I have imagined. There have been many painful moments that
required trust that made no sense, and actions that didn't add up. But trusting
God above my instincts or plans and letting Him pause my dreams temporarily has
been worth it.
We all feel the burnout from the weight of what we have to
carry when we are carrying it alone. But when God is leading, the journey is
sure to lead to a glorious end, and you can be very sure of the provision of
strength and support as you carry it. The secret behind being a superwoman is
not in the intellect but in the strength of the wind beneath your wings, if
that wind is God.
I am often amazed at how I manage to juggle all my
assignments simultaneously. I do things I can't believe came from me because,
in truth, they didn't. They came from God through me, and the power behind my
strength is none other than God.
This post does not, by any means, encourage women to be
stay-at-home moms like I am. What I am saying in this post is that being a
career woman, a devoted mother, and a wife is entirely possible without missing
a thing or letting the weight of your assignment affect your marriage or
yourself, if God is the core of your strength and strategist of your life. It is often said
that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Well, I have planned many times and
still failed. But when I let God do the planning and tell me His plans for me,
and I simply follow His leading, I have succeeded and excel as a superwoman.
This might not make logical sense, but believe me when I say
that if it does make logical sense, it might probably not be God at work at
that time. Just push the load on God, take some rest, learn to trust God, and
get credited for a strategy that God designed and is executing through your
obedience and trust. It is always a win-win, even when it does not make sense.
