Wives, Husbands, and Money: The Untold Side of Biblical Provision

Those who believe that the man is the provider for the home are not wrong. 1 Timothy 5:18 tells us that if anyone does not provide for his own and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. So, part of the expectations of a believer is to provide for his own.

One way this can be analysed is from the mandate of God on the man over his wife. Ephesians 5:25 says, the husband is to love his wife just as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her. If a man is to give himself for his wife, then his money is also included in that self that he is giving. So, in whatever way we may try to think this through, a man is assigned by God to provide love and care to his wife, and if money is required to fulfil that mandate, then so be it.

But there is another side to the coin when it comes to marriage and money. It so happens that it is not the man/husband who is solely responsible for providing for the family financially. Without any bias, 1 Timothy used the word “anyone” who does not provide for his own. Now, anyone can actually be referring to a man or woman, irrespective of the pronoun “he” in that scripture.

In Proverbs 31:10-31, Solomon described for us the virtuous wife, and verses 13-15 tell us that she willingly works with her hands, she is like a merchant’s ship; she brings her food from afar; she rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservant.

The scripture above didn’t tell us that she collects money from her husband, and with it, provides food for her household. So, if she is like the merchant’s ship, that tells us that she earns her own income. The line after that says she brings her food from afar. If this woman earns her own income and brings her food from afar, and then provides food for her household, this sequence of actions points to one thing to me: she also provides for her family financially.

So, if I say that I learned a lesson here, it will be that the financial burden of the home does not solely rest on the husband, but on both couples. The wisdom of God has ensured this because if one falls, the other can lift him. The agenda of God for the family is that at no point should the family be in lack.

If the wife is unable to provide for the family, probably because she does not yet have a source of income, it is understandable, but she should be productive in the home and support the husband in other ways. The primary assignment given to a wife is to be a suitable helper to her husband, and that includes financial help so that the family is well covered against lack.

It is important to note that it is God who supplies all our needs according to His riches in glory through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). And in 2 Corinthians 9:8, we read that God is able to make all grace abound towards us, that we, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work. The supply comes from God, but He (God) chooses His channel of supply, and we cannot question that.  

Oftentimes, God decides to use the husband as His channel of supply. In that case, the husband needs to know and understand that the supply in his possession is not a tool for oppressing his household, but as the head of the home who owns the responsibility to care for his household, he should recognise that the supply in his possession is a tool for fulfilling God’s assignment in his life, which is to love and care for his wife and provide for his household.

In the same manner, if you, as a wife, are the channel through which the Lord has decided to supply for the needs of your household, know that the riches in your hands are primarily there to provide for your household and help your husband. Rich or poor, you are still to understand and operate in submission. That is God’s mandate on your life, and hard as it may sound, that submission includes the submission of your income if your husband demands it.

Money is not provided in marriage as a tool of suppression or oppression by any party in the marriage. It is a supply from heaven through any party or both if God so decides, to shield the household against any lack, as God has promised that those who put their trust in Him will not lack anything good.

Money is a blessing and not a weapon. It is a provision from heaven because it is the Lord who gives us power to produce wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18). It is not your hard work or intelligence. Hard work and intelligence are seeds that we sow, but it is God who causes the seed to germinate and produce the fruits of riches in our lives. Taking away that wealth is at the discretion of God if He determines that you are not using it for that which He provided it for.

A husband should strive to work hard to provide for his family. But while he is waiting on God for a harvest of what he has sown in labor and hard work, he should not be ashamed or made to feel unworthy simply because he can’t provide yet. Seeds take time to grow. It is at this time that the resources coming from the wife are used to fill the gaps, and the home is covered.

To the wife, please never be comfortable being idle or relying on your husband financially. You should continue to strive and sow the seed of diligent labor. At some point, your help will be required in the area of finances. Note that financial help is part of your helper duties in the life of your husband.

I will conclude with this: When it comes to money and marriage, there should be no competition and no holding back. Ecclesiastes 4:9 tells us that two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. That tells us that both are laboring equally, and if one is chasing a thousand, two are putting tens of thousands to flight. This scripture is undeniably true in the case of money in marriage.

The laborers in marriage are designed to complement each other, and with God in their midst, they won’t just live above lack; they will live in abundance.

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