I have heard a true-life story of a divorce that happened as a result of sex in that marriage. I am sure it’s not just an instance, but there are a handful of cases where the main problem in the marriage is tied to the issue of sex. Some couples are bold enough to speak up about the adverse effect this has on them, while others endure the struggle in silence. If this is a problem in marriages, then it is worth talking about.
I love the Bible so much that I have yet to come across a
thing in this lifetime that I can’t find an answer to in the Bible. So, let’s
see 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 and what it says
about the issue of sex in marriage. Paul, in this scripture, writes in detail about
the issue of sex in marriage. Paul says, “A husband is to render to his wife
the affection due to her.” It is as though he is speaking to the husband that
he should pay the debt of affection that he owes his wife. The NIV bible
translation calls it duty. So, showing affection and intimacy is a
non-negotiable in marriage.
Now, this is not just for the man alone but also for the
wife. She also owes her husband the duty of affection and intimacy. Paul said, “As
a wife, your body does not belong to you alone, but also to your husband. And
for the husband, it is the same. Your body does not belong to you alone, but
also to your wife.” The two are not to deprive one another except for mutual
consent and only for a time.
Weaponizing sex in your marriage is wrong in any and every
way you consider it. Doing so is opening the door to the devil and giving him a
free rein to infiltrate your marriage and bring destruction as much as he can. You
can’t say that because you want to punish your spouse, you will deprive them of
sex. That is, you not doing your duty as God has instructed you to. Depriving your
spouse of sex makes you just as guilty as the reason why you are depriving them
of sex. Two wrongs never make a right.
God, in His infinite wisdom, could have devised another
means of procreation when He created man, but He chose the bonding of a husband
and his wife through intimacy. But we should understand that the purpose of
intimacy in marriage is beyond reproduction. It is the beautiful joining
together of two beings to become one in flesh, soul, and spirit.
Even in deep quarrels, once a man and his wife get intimate,
fights and quarrels evaporate, and a new sense of togetherness is reborn
between the two. This is one crucial reason why this kind of intimacy is
reserved solely for married couples with a divine covenant between them.
Sex in marriage is
not just a call of nature; it’s not casual. It is a bonding that is reserved solely
for those in a marriage covenant because it’s beyond just two physical beings
coming together. It is a union of spirit, soul, and body. It is beautiful, it
mends cracks in marriage, and it forges togetherness in marriage more than any
other activity.
Sex in marriage is God’s idea, and it is not a thing of
shame as long as the two carrying out the act are covenant partners in marriage,
and it is between a man and a woman who are married before God and man.
Intimacy in marriage is an activity that the husband and
wife need to be deliberate about. The feelings of your spouse need to be
considered when thinking about sex in your marriage. It is not about one person
enjoying the pleasure at the expense of the other person. This is an activity
of two people for two people.
One more thing to mention is that if we understand that
intimacy is between two people and for two people, then we will agree that the satisfaction
of both parties is essential. If this is so, then we should agree that hygiene
and a good and appealing smell are vital for intimacy in marriage. If the bible
tells us that your body does not belong to you alone, but also to your spouse,
then taking care of that body is not about you alone, but also about your
spouse.
As a wife, if you’ve worked all day and you are sweaty, it
would be nice if you took a shower and cleaned up before initiating intimacy.
As a husband, this also applies to you. In a marriage, where intimacy is a
constant, taking care of things like your breath should be vital.
Overall, if there is one thing that your spouse has gently highlighted
as a turn-off, it is vital that such a thing is taken care of promptly for both
to continue to enjoy the beauty of intimacy in marriage. Intimacy should not be
done grudgingly, but enjoyed as God purposes it.
Sex in marriage is a beautiful thing. It is God-ordained, and
it is a gift of God to married couples, not just for procreation but for
bonding and affection sharing. It is a sacred thing exclusively for married
couples.
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