The Wife And Her Unmotivated Husband

The Lord God said that it is not good for the man to be alone, and so He made a fitting/suitable help for the man in the person of a woman and then brought her to the man to be his wife (Genesis 2:18-25). Since I began to understand the full meaning of this passage, I knew that I had a very important role to play in the life of my husband and an assignment to fulfill for God in my husband's life.
Noting that God did not specify the aspects of a man's life where the wife would be required to come in and help, then it means that in every area of a man's life where help is required, the suitable/fitting help that God has made and provided for him in the person of his wife is to come in and help in accordance to the plan and purpose of God for marriage.
But then for the purpose of this blog post, how is a wife expected to handle and deal with a lazy or better put, an unmotivated husband? Mindful of the fact that the wife is suppose to help her husband but definitely not to assume his responsibilities as her. Some men who understand their roles and responsibilities as the head of the home, who have been assigned by God to lead the family unit and shepherd the family unit in every way, are self-motivated and as such strife to meet up with what God has assigned them to do for their family.
But not all are self-motivated. As a matter of fact some men take comfort in the fact that if they do not carry out their assignment, their wives will take up these roles. This happens the most in cases of financing for the home. Quite a handful of men rest on this particular responsibility on their lives due to the fact that they know that their wives have good jobs, or earn good income and as such they do not have to strife just as hard to make money for the family as the money required for the home is already provided for by their wives.

1 Timothy 5:8
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

2 Thessalonians 3:7-10
For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, labouring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat." 

The passage above shows the expectations of God from the shepherd of God over a family unit. Looking up the meaning of the word shepherd from the dictionary, I found this meaning that really relates to what this blog post is all about.One of the definitions of the word shepherd says "a person who protects, guides or watches over a person or group of people." So if the man is regarded as the shepherd of the family unit, that confers on him the responsibility of the one who protects, guides or watches over the family. In the course of doing all these, he needs to be the one who provides for the family too. So it is not strange when Paul said in 1 Timothy 5:8 that a man who does not provide for his relatives, especially his immediate family has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Such a man is not working or operating according to the plan of God for the family. He is deliberately running away from his God given assignment.
But even to this man described above, a wife has been assigned to him as a suitable help. What role is the wife to play in the life of this man? Is she to assume his role of the shepherd of the family or try to motivate him to assume his God assigned responsibility?
These questions are what I trust God to help us answer through this blog post. 1). The wife is a helpmeet and not the original burden carrier. She to assist the man in fulfilling his responsibility and not to assume the responsibility herself. 2). She cannot neglect the identified problem in her husband's life as one who lacks motivation and the will to fulfill his God given assignment as one who provides for his family. 3). She can try to motivate her husband, but for a hardened man who is not willing to change, she will be seen as one who nags rather than one who is wanting to help. So the wife can be seen as one who is at a loose at what to do.
But there is one option that cannot fail the wife who has been saddled with the responsibility to help this man as described above. That one very sure option is prayer. There is no problem that bets the reach of God. And there is no problem that is above God's solution. When a wife is fervent in prayer and holding firmly to God night and day over the identified problem in the life of her husband, it is just a matter of time for God to create an urgency in the life of that man that will awaken him from his slumber and trigger in him the need to raise up and begin to work in fulfilling his God given assignment.
There is no need for you as a wife to loose heart at your husband's nonchalant attitude to life and his responsibility. When you have learnt to pray heard for him, God will awaken in him the need to do that which he is required to do as the head of the family and the shepherd of your home. But while waiting on God, you are also needed to help take care of the needs in the home so that the problems in your family is not visible to the outside world. 
I will want to emphasize at this point that if the husband is genuinely making effort and striving hard to provide for his family but is having some bottlenecks in his effort that it is just ideal for the wife to come into the picture and render support. If she temporarily becomes the sole provider for the family it is okay as long as its still a support role. May the Lord uphold our homes to the glory of His holy name. 

Marriage Investment

The main aim of making investment is to earn profit when considering it in monetary terms. But not all investments are done in monetary form. Parents invest in their children with the hope that the values invested in them will make them better people in future and thus produce for the parents children that can take care of them in their old age or at least give them some form of peace and less to worry about when they are old and grey. Also people ought to invest in marriage, and these investments are bound to yield returns for the one who has made the investment. The important truth is that no investment made is useless, because even the so-called bad investments have lessons attached to them that should be learnt to prevent future mistakes and makes the investor wiser.
But in this blog post I want us to look at Marriage Investment. What you put into your marriage determines what you get from it, and also the amount of investment you put into your marriage determines the value of reward or returns it yields to you. So to say that if you invest little into your marriage, you should not expect a bountiful harvest from it. And also if you have not made any investment at all into your marriage, then you should not complain when are not receiving the dividends of marriage. What you put in is what comes back to you.
First I want the women to consider this issue of marriage investment, the instruction that God gave to the woman is to be a suitable helper to the husband. The help that is required, suitable, fitting and ideal for the man in all of his life's challenges is what the Lord has called the wife to be in the life of her husband. The woman has not been called into marriage to sit as a beauty queen and expect to be waited upon. Rather in addition to the fact that she is to help her husband overcome the challenges of his life, she is also assigned by God to build her home. These are the investment the Lord expects the wife to put into her marriage for which she is to be and should expect to be rewarded.

Proverbs 31:10-31
10A wife of noble character who can find? she is worth far more than rubies.  11Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from from afar. 15She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16She considers a field and buys it; out of her earning she plants a vineyard. 17She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19In her hands she holds the distaff and grasp the spindle with her fingers.
20She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seats among the elders of the land. 24She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29"Many do noble things, but you surpass them all." 30Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31Give her the reward she has earned and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 10:10-31 the passage above, detailed out the expectations from the wife of noble character, these are some of the investments expected to be made by the woman into her marriage. And for these investments made, the Bible says she is to receive the well deserved reward that she has earned.

Ephesians 5:22
22Wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord.

1 Peter 3:1-2
1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of their lives.

Colossians 3:18
18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

The instruction of God in the passages above, commanding the wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord is another form of investment in marriage that deserves a reward and for which reward is earned. Obedience to any and every command of God is an investment made, and no investment made in the things of God goes without it's reward/profit in whatever way we wish to view it.
Been a suitable helper to your husband as the Lord has designed marriage to be at the beginning is an investment made into marriage. It is the fulfilling of God's command that will surely be rewarded when done truly and in accordance to God's will and purpose.
It's not just the woman that is expected to make investments in marriage. Though I always discuss marriage issues mostly in the direction of what is expected of the wives, but the husbands also have big roles to play in the matter. The man who is expecting to reap the dividends of marriage should know for sure that he needs to invest something. And just as it is with the wives so it is with the husbands. The quantity and quality of what you should expect out of your marriage depends on the quality and quantity of what you have invested in it. If you have put little into your marriage, then you should expect little in return. And if you have invested much in that marriage it is just natural that you should expect much from it.

Ephesians 5:25-28
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Colossians 3:19
19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

1 Peter 3:7
7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

In these passages are some of the investments that God expects of a man in marriage. He has been instructed to love, be considerate and treat with respect the wife that God has blessed his life with. One important thing for the men to note is that the love referred to here is not just ordinary love, it is the unconditional love that overlooks all wrongs, forgives unconditionally and one that makes the man ready to die for his wife just in the manner in which Christ loves the church. That is the love we are talking about here, that is the investment that God expects the man to make in his marriage.
Investments are like seed sown, for them to germinate they need to be nurtured, water, and cared for to grow. When a farmer plants a seed, he just does not abandon it, but he watches over his seed, he waters the plant, and tries to remove the unwanted weeds that are growing alongside his plant. So also we need to watch over our marriage investment so as not to labour in vain. We need to pray heaven down into our homes and marriages alongside the investments made. We need to invite and retain the Presence of God in our homes and marriages.
When making your investments, don't grumble when your spouse isn't responding favourably at the beginning. Seeds take time to grow and investments takes time to yield results. Beware of negative thoughts within you and also watch and war against external influences that might want to grow and crush the seed of your investments before the harvest is ripe.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. An institution that is worth investing in. No man should be alone, and no man should live in misery of marriage, but you should be ready to invest in marriage to be able appreciate and enjoy the full joy of marriage. I just saw a quote on google by Amy Grant that says "The more you invest in marriage, the more valuable it becomes." With this I totally agree, and I believe you share the same agreement too.

The Sacrifice Of A Wife

I was driving and listening to a radio station that was airing a program with a very interesting topic. It was a call-in discussion on a specific issue on marriage. Although I didn't get to hear the topic on which the program was based, but from what I heard of what was discussed I realized it is a discussion worth seeking the face of God on.
The thread of discussion I was able to gather was based on women who had given up their dreams in pursuit of the family dreams and in the process had bottled up resentment that turned into rage or better still anger overtime. And as would be expected of bottled up emotions it results in outburst.So I felt this would be worth discussing on this blogsite. As mentioned in some of my earlier blog posts, my blog posts in times to come will feature a lot of topics on marriages.
So as women, how do we handle situations whereby we have to give up our dreams and aspirations for the sack of our family's needs or even wants? Giving up our own dreams in order to run our husband's race with them?
To start with, I am also finding myself in that same situation, and I can tell you that a lot of women are in one way or the other having to give up something precious that sometimes might be in the form of a dream or life's pursuit just on concentrate effort on the success of their family. But how to make this sacrifice and not have bottled up emotions that will result in any form of outburst that might endanger the peace of the marriage and home is what I will trust God to help us realize through this blog post.
Based on the account of marriage in Genesis 2:18-25, the primary assignment from God to the woman is to be a suitable helper to her husband, but this does not in any way prevent her from having dreams and pursuing after her dreams. But the way and manner with which she handle her dreams go a long way to tell how far she will be able to realize those dreams.
As a child of God, when you are making effort in pleasing God in the assignment He has laid on your hands of which one of them is your marriage, then you can be sure the Lord will also make efforts in pleasing you on the issue of the desires of your heart.
Having bottled up emotions on your pending dreams and desires is dangerous to your marriage. One truth that we should know and always remind ourselves of, is that no matter how much we want to blame our spouses for these pending dreams, it ultimately not their call, but God's call with your cooperation. Proverbs 16:3 says "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed," all those beautiful dreams of yours will only be made successful by the Lord and not your spouse.

Psalm 37: 5-6
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Learn this secret today about your dreams, aspirations and wants; first commit those dreams to the Lord in prayer, never mind whether you discuss them with your husband or not, first discuss them with God and lay bare before Him what it is you are planning to do.
Secondly, take time to please God. Get busy doing something meaningful for the Lord that truly deserves a reward. Remember it is God you are doing it for and not man. The aim is to please God in what you are doing. One act of reverence for God is reverence for your husband. You show forth the hand of God in your life when you show reverence to your husband. You should also make every effort at working towards building a peaceful and beautiful home. This is one assignment that God has given the woman to do. Wise women build homes. And a wife of noble character is the crown of her husband's life. These works are worth all the reward that God has to offer for them.

Proverbs 21:30-31
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The book of Proverbs 31:10-31 says so much about the wife of noble character and all she gets to do as a woman who fears the Lord. And just at the end of the passage it speaks of her deserving a reward. So when you desire your dreams coming to pass, get into the business of pleasing the Lord by making effort at being the wife of noble character that God has called you to be. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." In truth there is a reward for the work you have done.
As a wife I have many dreams that I have had to put on hold because of my family. Some of my dreams I have shared with my husband and most of the time his views are always very different from mine as he does not appreciate my own aspirations. But that has not stopped me from dreaming, neither has it caused me having negative bottled up emotions for my husband. In fact he shares more of his dreams and goals with me more than I share mine and I have had to agree in line with him even when I see things differently because I have learnt about the power of unity.
But more than I speak with man, I commit my dreams and desires into the hands of God. Several times my husband has gone against my desires because he does not appreciate what I am working towards but eventually overtime has comes to adopt my method and often times he has been the instrument God has used in fulfilling my desires that I have prayed about.
It's okay to put your dreams on hold as a sacrifice for your family for the meantime, but its not fulfilling to give up on your dreams. It's also not good and healthy to have bottled up anger towards your spouse because of unfulfilled dreams, because the realization of your dreams is not a factor determined by him in the long run. He can only make you feel good or bad about your dreams. It's just his encouragement that will be missing. Learn the secret of engaging God in your pursuits and be patient for Him to bring to reality that which you have prayed to Him for. He alone makes all things beautiful in His time.

The Leaving & Uniting In Marriage

I thank God for another beautiful opportunity to share the word of God to inspire and give hope to someone somewhere needing hope today. I bless God for the month gone by and the grace to see another beautiful month. And I pray that the word that will be shared on this blog today will make a positive impact in the lives of many to the glory of God.
I will be sharing someone's experience in my post today and I pray many will learn a thing or two from it.
A couple who have been married for over 10years need to help a family member needing somewhere to stay for sometime. Because the one in need is a family member, this couple felt obliged to welcome him and his wife into their home. Along the line what was suppose to be a brief stay was gradually turning into weeks and eventually into months.
With time the visiting couples were constituting a nuisance in the home of their host couple. They offer not much assistance in the home, and take too much advantage of the hospitality shown to them not caring in any way how the house is kept clean and other house chores. In fact they wait for their laundry to be done for them.  They became too comfortable and where beginning to feel like co-owners of the home. There was no word from them to their host on any progress made on their mission to the city and no feedback to their host on how much longer they needed to stay in order to complete what they came into town to accomplish. With time the host couple began to feel uncomfortable in their own home and so resolved to spend as much time in the confines of their bedroom to avoid contact with their over-stayed visitors and thus avoid any confrontation that might result from the frustration they feel at the unplanned intrusion in their home. What started as a kind gesture was growing to be a thing of regret, yet they don't know for how much longer they have to cope with the situation in their hands.
This story I believe is happening to not just the person I know, but too many couples who are at a loss as to how to deal with external interference in their homes. This external interference in marriages is not just restricted to relatives coming to stay over, but friends and family trying to interfere and dominate the marriage. They want to give advise and insisting that their so called advise be followed and adhered to. This also comes up with parents and parents in-laws, and so we will trust the Lord to help understand how to deal with situations like this.

Genesis 2:24(NKJV)
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Matthew 19:4-5
And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?

There are two important things that must take place in every successful marriage, and they are: 1) the leaving and 2) the joining or uniting. For every couple who has learnt the secret of leaving and joining for their marriage, they are working along the path of God's design for marriage at the beginning.
From the beginning when God designed marriage, he designed that all family relations be left behind on the journey of matrimony and the husband firmly unites with his wife. If for any reason a man unites with his wife without first leaving his father and mother and his household behind it will not be long before strife crops up its ugly head in such a home. And same applies to the woman.
I have come to realize that the calling of man to the journey of matrimony is very similar to the call of God in the life of Abraham. And just in the same way we see God call Abraham in Genesis 12, to leave his father's household, take his wife Sarah and begin a journey to a place where only God knows. This journey was supposed to be a journey of separation, but for some unknown reason Abraham embarked on that journey with Lot his nephew. This journey was supposed to be a journey of blessing as the Lord had pronounced blessings on Abraham along with the call.
But not long into that journey in Genesis 13, there began a quarrel between Abraham's herdsmen and Lot's herdsmen. The land was not able to support Abraham and Lot together (Genesis 13:5-7). And that is exactly what happens when you carry with you the relations and father and mother that the Lord has asked you to leave behind into your marriage. The home that is meant for you and your wife on the journey of matrimony filled with blessings and the favour of God (Proverbs 18:22) becomes insufficient for you, your wife and your relations. With time strife and quarrel will start. If this is not recognized early and checked quickly, it destroys the home and marriage.
Either the wife is caught between her family and her husband, or the husband is caught between his wife and his family. If you as the wife is not wise enough to let go of your family in order to hold onto and unite with your spouse, you miss out on God's design and purpose for your marriage. There is never a portion in the Bible where God permitted external interference in the marriage union, there is a leaving and then a uniting/joining to happen for a successful marriage. Jesus said in Matthew 19:6b that "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
As a man, no matter how right your mother or father maybe, once their interference in your marriage is causing a strife in your home, then it is time to leave them behind and face the business of your marriage squarely, letting God direct your steps as to how to make a success of your marriage. Also as a wife, once your relation/s that have come to seek temporary accommodation under your roof are beginning to turn you and your spouse into prisoners in your own home, then its time to politely and with good respect show them the door. You can assist in providing alternative accommodation that will not infringe on the peace and comfort of your home as long as you can afford it, but you should not compromise the peace and comfort of your marriage for any external influence in the name of family, relations or friends. May the Lord bless our homes in Jesus name.
Before I close on this, I want to state that you owe your family respect, and this should be duly paid for in full. In the bid to shield your marriage and home from their interference, do not be rude to them or show disrespect. But politely make it clear to all that your marriage and home is not a public affair. The Lord will bless you as you make every effort to make your marriage a success.

The Essence Of Showing Respect To Your Spouse (2)

I am so very glad to be sharing the word of God again this beautiful morning. It's worth all the praises we can give to God to be alive again today. Today's post will be a continuation of the last post a shared on the essence of couples showing respect to one another. By the grace of God the last post was directed to the women, but its not that the Lord does not require the men to show respect to their wives, so in today's write-up I will trust God to open the hearts of men to the need to show respect to their wives.

1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.


In truth, the word of God is always balanced. The Lord created the man and also the woman and He is not bound to favour one gender above the other. So when He gives an instruction to one gender requisite to fulfilling their assignment effectively, He gives also the other gender instructions requisite to fulfilling their assignment effectively.
In the passage above, the Lord will want the husbands in the same way to be considerate and treat their wives with respect. When we look at the instruction God gave through Peter, He wants the husband to be considerate with their wives and treat them with respect, and then He gave the instruction through Paul that the husbands should love their wives in the manner in which Christ loved the church. From these two passages, we can now conclude that the kind of respect the Lord requires from the husband to his wife is one raped up in love.
It is important for the husbands to realize and understand that their wives are the personification of God's favour in their lives. Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from God." So when as a man you understand that your wife is the symbol of God's favour in your life, you will learn to value her more, your will learn to be considerate with her and respect her and you will learn to love her. Doing these things over time will develop in you a sense of great value for your wife that you will be willing to give yourself for her just as Christ gave Himself for the church.
Do you desire a change in the character and attitude of your wife? Try show her some love and respect and with the hand of God on your effort, it will not be long before you start to see some changes in her. I have heard it said that women have the gift of multiplying whatever seed that has being sown in them. When you learn to saw the seed of love and respect in your wife then you should expect to reap a harvest of greater love and respect from her.
Peter concluded that verse by saying "so that nothing will hinder your prayers," and this appears to me as a warning for the men to show that failure to be considerate and treat their wives with respect can lead to God not paying attention to their prayers.
This same warning is seen in the book of Malachi 2:13-14 "Another thing you do: You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accept them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, 'Why?' It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant." It really looks to me that God is not taking this issue lightly at all. God requires that the husband will treasure his wife and this should be evident in the way and manner in which he shows her love and respect. Failure to do this will make the Lord turn His face from the man.
When I wrote the post for the women two days ago, I felt the Lord might be asking for a little too much from the women on this issue of showing deep respect for our husbands. But by the time the Lord opened up His word to me today on what He requires of the man to his wife on the same matter, I kind of feel God is treading softly with us women. We will have it all good when we learn to show our husbands deep respect. It brings great love and peace in the home.
A man will work into his blessings faster and better when he has learnt to treasure God's favour in his life. He becomes a richer man in every area of his life as he shows God his ability to handle well God's first point of favour in his life. May the Lord help us build a home and a relationship that delights His heart.

The Essence Of Showing Respect To Your Spouse (1)

A beautiful evening to the wonderful people of God. I pray that the Lord will shine down with favour on your and all yours in Jesus Name. It's being a while I wrote on the marriage topic, not that there is nothing to say, but I always have to write as the Spirit of the Lord leads. But I am trusting the Lord that the next few posts on this blog will be an encouragement for married couples.

1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

So many women have come to see marriage as a coming together of two individual who they regard as mates and equal partners in the relationship. In as much as I do not wish to comment on the hierarchy of marriage, it is important to emphasize the importance of a wife showing respect to her husband in marriage.
Based on the English Dictionary, the word reverence is defined as 1) a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe; veneration, 2) a gesture indicative of deep respect, an obeisance, bow, or curtsy. From what Peter says, the reverence which is a sign or gesture of deep respect from the wife to her husband is a tool in the hands of God in winning over an unbelieving husband to Himself.
Several times women will complain that they are not bound to show respect to a husband who does not respect them in return. I totally agree that respect is earned and cannot be forced, but as a woman of God based on what the Bible is teaching us in the passage above, if by any chance you desire a change of attitude in the life of your husband and wish him to know the Lord and develop a relationship with God, which will in turn develop in him the realization of your value in his life thereby making him love and respect you, then you need to reverence him first, which based on the English dictionary means you need to show him deep respect tinged with awe.
The kind of respect that the Lord demands of the wife to her husband is not just any kind of respect, but deep respect and in fact based on what the dictionary is making us to understand, it is a deep respect that is accompanied with gestures. True, a wife might have developed a great level of closeness with her husband that might not require her to bow or curtsy to him, but still the respect from the wife to her husband should be deep respect.
I have learnt over time to reverence my husband and by the grace of God I have enjoyed the benefits of doing so. I have learnt to treat my husband like a king and he has also grown to see me as his queen. So when he has issues that he needs advise on, he talks to me and in most cases adopts the advise I give to him.
Once I was with a friend who is not a Christian and she heard me talking to my husband over the phone. After a while my husband came to meet me and my friend and she said it was not until she saw my husband that she realised that he was the person I was talking to on the phone. She had thought I was talking to my father noting the level of respect with which I was talking on the phone. She then said, now she has learnt something new in marriage and from that day on she will show better respect to her husband. I so blessed God that day that at least from my attitude I have been able to touch a marriage for the better.
The book of Esther chapter 1 tells the story of how queen Vashti was deposed as queen just by reason of her lack of respect for her husband. You should not expect to be queen in your home when you have not learnt to make your husband the king in the way and manner in which you show him respect. When you have learnt to respect your husband, then you lay a good example for the rest of your household to follow and emulate.
It is only when you have made your husband the king of your territory in your mannerism towards him that you also become the queen of that territory. Also not that the change your desire in your husband will come to be when you have contributed your own input and let God contribute His. May the Lord bless our homes in Jesus Name.

Achieving The Impossible

Luke 5:1-10
One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, with the people crowding round him and listening to the word of God, 2he saw at the water's edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. 3He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.
4When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water, and let down the net for a catch.”
5Simon answered, “Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”
6When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.
8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10and so were James and John the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partner.
Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men.”

A very beautiful morning to the wonderful people of God, I really bless God for my on-line family and pray that the Lord will pay attention to you and grant you the desires of your heart.
In my last post I wrote about my big dream and tried by the special grace of God to encourage all those who dare to have big dreams including myself. It was a post that really encouraged me and I was glad to share those words with someone out there who is also daring to achieve something far bigger than him/her.
The passage above is one that has helped my faith. This passage is loaded with lessons that will turn the lives of those who dare to have faith in God around for the best. Dreaming big is a beautiful thing and you will get encouraged and it's easy to have hope when all is going as planned or anticipated. But that is not the case when everything looks blink and unrealistic and if the one who dreams lack the will to persist to push against all odds to attain and achieve the desired goal then dreaming big becomes a waste of time.
I have learnt a lot of lessons from the passage above which is a very good encouragement for those who have tried hard to work at the realization of their dreams and are already thinking of giving up. Peter was a very good fisherman, he understood the techniques of fishing so well, but on that fateful night, he had tried all that he could based on his own ability but he could not achieve anything.
Just when he was about to give up and retire for the night, the Lord Jesus needed his boat for use. The Bible tells us that Peter was already washing his net which is a sign that he was done with any attempt at his trade for the day. But just at that time Jesus needed to sit in his boat. After the Lord Jesus was done with His sermon He said to Peter "launch into the deep for a catch". In order words, just when Peter was finishing with his own attempt and he had exhausted his own ability, the Lord was coming into the situation and taking Peter through an experience he would never be able to accomplish on his own effort and with his own ability.
The good thing Peter did that is worth emulating was that he obey Jesus. He acknowledge the fact that he could not achieve the goal alone, Luke 5:5 says Simon answered, “Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” But the beautiful thing about the story is that Peter dared to obey Jesus.
Now the lessons I have learnt and will like to share are these:
1) It was not until Peter had tried and was about to give up that the Lord noticed his boat and wanted to make use of it. Had Peter being busy still that night, he will be in the deep waters and his boat will not available for Jesus to use. So I learnt to make myself available for Jesus to use and in doing so, give Him room to help me accomplish my very big and many dreams which I can't achieve based on my ability and effort. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
2) Although Peter had worked hard all through the night and caught nothing, yet he obey the Lord as Jesus asked him to let down the net for a catch. So no matter how hard you have tried to make those dreams a reality, there is still an ability that far outweighs your ability. Don't give up, hand that dream over to God and be ready to obey his voice as he directs your steps. He his able to help you make the millions that your limited ability cannot make for you.
3) The Bible tells us that when Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus knees. Falling at the knees of Jesus is a sign of worship, Peter worshipped at the marvelous catch that he would otherwise not have caught by himself. So we should learn to worship and praise God as He opens heaven for us and pours on us the desires of our hearts. Those things we would not have been able to do ourselves. Remember when praises go up, blessing come down.
Proverbs 12:24 says "Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labour", and Proverbs 10:4 says Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. Diligence is not excessive hard work at achieving nothing, but diligence is a persistent hand that does not give up until the goal is reached. But you don't have to work the road alone. Let God lead and you follow and you are sure to achieve more than the catch of fish that Peter caught as a result of obedience to the voice of God.