He is the Head, Let Him Take the Lead

Genesis 3:1-6

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat the fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden and you must not touch it or you will die.’ ”

“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God knowing good and evil.”

When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

There is this young lady was has been married for close to six years and who is quite close to me. She often comes to me for counsel. Until very recently she was a very miserable married woman. She carried the burden of her family all alone and financially handles all the needs of her home with little or no help from her husband. Any demand for money from her husband always met with a fight and the truth is that the husband is working and making money, so why he would not even bother about the upkeep of his family was something this young woman could not come to terms with.

They were always fighting and she confided in me a couple of times about her marital woes and I asked her to pray. Later on she told me that she had prayed and she was tired of praying because nothing changed. She was doing well in her trade but could not even see the money she was working for because she was spending more than she should. So I asked her to go on an experiment and come back to give me a feedback. And the experiment was submission.

Beginning from the time of our discussion I told her to always do exactly what her husband tells her to do. She should follow his instructions to the tiniest of detail and then pray. If her husband tells her to sit, she should sit; and if he tells her to stand that should be the exact thing she should do, stand. She told me that would be difficult because she was already resenting her husband in her heart. She was only staying married to him because she wanted to avoid the stigma of a broken marriage. We argued over this challenge for a couple of days and I eventually told her that if she can’t follow through with this task, then how can she obey the instructions of God? And if she is not obeying God how can God answer her prayers? Eventually I won the argument and she grudgingly agreed to do just as I have told her, just as a condition to satisfy me because of the respect she had for me and nothing else. Bottom-line we had a deal.

About 10days after we that our agreement, I visited her shop and noticed some minor renovations, so I asked how she managed to raise money to renovate the shop when she had been complaining that she had no money. Then she smiled and told me, “Aunty your trick worked.” I wondered what trick she was talking about and she said it was her husband who paid for the renovation of the shop. I paid more attention to her and she continued by telling me she had been doing what I told her to do and now her husband shows more concern for her and the children. And that he checked her up in her shop and complained about the state of the shop and she calmly told him that she had wanted to put some things in place in the shop but because she was not financially buoyant she could not see it through. So the husband decided to fix the shop for her the way she wanted it at his own expense. She opened up to me that if not that I had cautioned her, she would have responded rudely to her husband when he complained about the state of her shop.

We are about two months into our agreement now and each time she sees me, she thanks me saying she is enjoying a new peace in her home and her husband is taking up his responsibilities. He is now paying the children’s school fees and just leaves the minor expenses for her to handle while he attends to the big ones. She is pretty excited about her new discoveries in marriage and the new trick works as she playfully puts it.

Now going back to our theme passage, I want us to learn some valuable lessons from it; if only wife Eve had allowed husband Adam to actually take the lead in their home, I believe that the situation would have been a lot different. The error we make as women is that we always think we have it figured out most especially when we don’t understand and agree with the approach of our husbands.
Now Genesis 3 started with the description of the serpent, and it says, “The serpent was the most crafty of all the wild animals that the Lord God had created.” It was because the serpent was crafty that it decided the approach the all knowing wife rather than the husband.

The serpent understood that his chances at failure was higher if it approached Adam directly and so it went through the all knowing wife (who ordinarily would assume she was wise). Eve as a suitable helper to her husband would have allowed Adam take the lead by directing the serpent to her husband understanding that though she is aware of God’s instruction but it would have been better the serpent hears it from her husband whom the Lord gave His instructions to directly. I bet you if she had done that, the serpent would not have the courage to approach Adam.

Quite a number of times the wives have been the ignorant avenue with which the enemy infiltrates marriage simply because she thinks she is just as in charge of the situation as her husband and so she can just take up the challenge as much as her husband can. And what resulted in the case of Adam and Eve is most likely sure to be the end result of such a situation.

As a wife you need to always let your husband be the head and place him in his leadership position. Understand that you are a helper and not the head. No matter how timid your husband may appear he is still the head and you should let him remain the head. When there are issues that need to be tackled, submit them on the in-tray of your husband’s table and don’t speak or do anything until your husband had spoken and taken the lead, then you follow in the direction of his lead. When you think he might be wrong rather than overrule his leadership, pray for him that God will take the wheel from him and sail the boat Himself. And that your husband will not acted based on his own will or understanding but he will act based on the instructions and will of God. When you have prayed relax knowing that whatever direction your husband takes is the will of God and you follow in the same direction. When you adopt this approach so many conflicts will be avoided; external interference will be settled or done away with, without any involvement from you.

The young lady that I shared her story earlier, learned to let her husband take the lead position in her marriage and she is not complaining anymore. Nobody would have blamed Eve for bringing sin into the world if only she had allowed her husband take the lead in the situation she found herself in; even if sin would come into the world, it would not be through Eve.

As a wife, thing deep about this; you will save yourself a whole lot of trouble if you let you husband take the lead in the family. Joy and peace of mind will be yours if you don’t have to add the responsibilities of your husband with yours. Understand your job role as a wife and just operate within your own scope of engagement.

May the Lord bless our homes. 

You asked for it, now it's coming soon. "The Marriage Handbook" is a compilation of all the blog post on marriage issues shared on this blog; well edited and dated for your keeps. So you don't have to rely on the blog archive any longer. You can have a detailed dated compilation of all the posts offline in hard copy, in you library for referral, as a gift to a friend needing it and even for counselling. It's worth having and it will be delivered to you soon. 

The Cry of Sarah

Genesis 15:2-4

But Abram said, “O Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?” And Abram said, “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.”

Then the word of the Lord came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir.”

Genesis 16:1-2

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her.”

Abram agreed to what Sarai said.

Genesis 17:1, 15-21

When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless.”

God also said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of many nations; kings of peoples will come from her.”

Abraham fell face down; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety? And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing?

Then God said, “Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him. As for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation. But my covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you by this time next year.”

I know I have shared something in this line before, but permit me to discuss it again. The first scripture shared above gives us insight into how Abram approached God in his request for a child. In Genesis 25:12 we read that Isaac prayed to God on behalf of his wife because she was barren and God answered. But Abram approached God because he didn’t have an heir to take over his estate. Now this is Abraham and Isaac asking God for the same thing with different approaches, and although both of them received answers to their requests, the time of manifestation was different. Immediately Isaac prayed God answered and his wife Rebekah became pregnant and we read that the babies jostled each other within her.

But with Abraham it was not so. He waited another 25years or so before the covenant child finally arrived at the age of 100years. So I am tempted to conclude that Abraham’s request was delayed because his approach was wrong; his wife Sarai was not included in his request before the Lord. Abraham prayed because he wanted an heir, but what about Sarai and the pain and agony of barrenness that she was going through? Shouldn’t that be a cause for concern for Abraham and shouldn't that be a thing worth praying to God for?

Now I am beginning to understand why Peter would say to the husbands that they should be considerate to their wives and treat them with respect as their weaker partner so that nothing will hinder their prayers (1 Peter 3:7). I am beginning to think that probably it was because of the fact that Abraham did not put in his wife into consideration when asking for a child from the Lord that the answer to his prayer was delayed.

So as a man, that big issue you are presenting to God for approval and delivery, do you have the concerns of your wife included in the request sheet. If not I will encourage you to withdraw the request and represent it with your wife’s concerns included in your presentation.

Another issue that made my heart bleed in the marriage story of Abraham and Sarah is found in Genesis 16. In that passage we read that Sarah on coming to terms with the fact that she could not give Abraham the child he longed for, she offered him her maidservant. My deep thought on this is that Sarah was mindful of Abraham’s feeling. She was beginning to feel the hit of not having a child for her husband; she realized how much a child meant to Abraham and how desperately he wanted one and so she put her own feelings on hold. She forgot herself and placed her husband’s feelings as a priority. She accepted the blame and took responsibility for the situation at hand (even though it was not her doing), and thought up a solution even though it was at the expense of her her own joy and peace in marriage. She had to give up her husband in exchange for a child just to make him happy.

And the Bible tells us that Abraham agreed. He agreed without even thinking of the effect that proposal would have on his marriage and the happiness of his wife who he was meant to love and protect. As far as Abraham was concerned, what Sarah felt or didn’t feel didn’t matter as long as that option would likely give him the child he wanted. And still Abraham was a man who loved and feared the Lord; so even men of God are not exempted from these flaws. The fact that you are a pastor in church does not translate to the fact that you love your wife and are considerate with her or treat her with respect.
But if you want speedy answers to those prayers of yours from God then make sure that you put your wife’s perceptive in view as you make your presentation to God. If God delayed Abraham’s prayers for this reason and didn’t excuse his ignorance, then be sure He won’t excuse yours too. And so we see God coming to issue a warning to Abraham in Genesis 17:1 and God said to Abraham, “I am God Almighty, walk before me and be blameless.”

But the Lord in His faithfulness would not allow faithful and selfless Sarah go to her grave barren. Abraham now had a son, so that request had been removed from the presence of God. But there remains the cry of Sarah, the submissive, faithful and selfless wife of Abraham and the stigmatization of barrenness that she carried on her as a woman and wife. And God visited again with a promise to give Abraham a child and this time through Sarah at a good old age of 100 and 90years respectively. And because Abraham now had a child, without much thought for who bore him the child, simple told God not to worry any longer and just bless the child he had from his wife's maidservant. And you wonder again if Abraham had it in mind that his wife was carrying on the stigma of barrenness or was it that he just didn’t care how or what she felt?

But Sarah had proved herself faithful, if Abraham didn’t see it, God saw it and knew that all her efforts must not go unrewarded. And so God brought about for Sarah what He alone could bring about in her life; she had a child for Abraham her husband at the age of 90. And Isaac was no ordinary child; he was the fulfillment of God’s covenant to Abraham and his descendants after him. At that time Sarah was loved again by her husband, her pride and dignity was restored and her joy multiplied and Isaac became a child that Abraham loved to the point of worship. And the true heir to all of Abraham’s estate was birth by the covenant, faithful and selfless wife Sarah.

If as a husband you have read this and thought that truly Abraham was not a model husband, then I want you to search yourself if in your marriage you are doing any better than Abraham did. What priority have you placed on your wife’s feelings and pains? What sacrifices has she made for you that you have allowed to go unnoticed and unappreciated? These are areas that could probably be eating up the peace of your marriage and home. When you sow the seed of happiness and joy in your wife, you can be sure that it will germinate and multiply for you in multiples of what you have sown.

For whatever sacrifices your wife makes in making you happy, even if you don’t acknowledge or reward her, God will reward her irrespective of you like He did for Sarah. But it will be more rewarding for you if you make the effort at putting your wife and her feelings first in your priority list. This is a seed that when you sow, it is bound to germinate for you such that you reap a multiple of what was sown.

May the Lord bless our homes.

The Husband in Isaac

Genesis 25:21

Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The Lord answered his prayer and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.

Genesis 26:8

When Isaac had been there a long time, Abimelech king of the Philistines looked down from a window and saw Isaac caressing his wife Rebekah.

This is one marriage story in the Bible that I just love to make reference to; the kind of love and attention that Isaac showered on his wife Rebekah always makes me love marriage. This is one man that makes marriage so sweet to experience and if all men were to treat their wives the way Isaac treated Rebekah, I am positive that God would be so proud of the marriage institution that He originated. And to think that Isaac didn’t even choose Rebekah himself as wife but God chose for him makes it even more lovely.  

If we look at this marriage situation well, we will notice that Rebekah had been married for over 20years before Isaac prayed to God concerning her barrenness and the Lord answered in Genesis 25. And it was much later that Isaac was found caressing Rebekah in the open view of king Abimelech. So that tells us that even though their marriage was well advanced in years they didn’t get tired of showing each other love. Even after many years of marriage Isaac was still very much in love with Rebekah and he showed her that much even in public view. I just love this marriage story.

Reading on in the story of Isaac and Rebekah we will notice that they had their differences; Isaac loved Esau who was the older of the twins, while Rebekah loved Jacob based on the prophecy of God on the twins at birth. But that still didn’t cause a rift or separation in their marriage. They managed their differences in a manner that didn’t affect the love they had for each other or their marriage.

I would love the husbands reading this to score themselves based on the revelation of the theme marriage for this write-up. No wonder God blessed Isaac so much. It is true that God’s favor for Isaac originated from His covenant with Isaac’s father Abraham, but peradventure Isaac was not as faithful in his dealings as his father, would he be able to continue in that covenant? But thank God Isaac was just as faithful as his father Abraham and when it came to the affairs of his home and marriage he scored high on that; even higher that Abraham his father. And so we read that in the midst of famine Isaac planted crops in that land and the same year he reaped a hundred fold, because the Lord blessed him. And Isaac’s wealth began to grow and he became rich and exceedingly rich that the host community where he lived began to envy him.

A man who desires to prosper in the face of hardship is a man who will be careful in taking care of his wife; he will be a man wise enough to form a bond of unity with his wife and protect that unity because the presence of that unity with the power of God in it guarantees success and eradicates impossibilities in life. A man who takes care of his wife and loves her, is a man who is sure that God will hear and answer his prayers. So let the men begin to do the needful.

May the Lord bless our homes in Jesus name. 

When Obedience Doesn't Seem Fair

I had wanted to share something different today, but I came across another story on another social media group that I belong to, that is quite interesting and comes across to me as a follow up of my last post. This story is the complete opposite scenario from my last post and I believe there are lessons to learn from this story too. This is another true-life story.

The Story

My husband wants to give me N10,000 ($27) for feeding the family for the month. Our family consists of me, my husband and our unborn baby as I am currently pregnant for my husband. I am also not working because he instructed that I must not work. I am wondering how far this peanut of money can go for a month since I am not working and can’t do anything to support this little money, and understanding fully well the economic situation in the country. Please should I collect this money from him or not. What should I do?

My Response

Reading this story, the first thing that came to my mind is the story of a widow found in 2 Kings 4:1-7 and I will just share that passage here for easy reference.

2 Kings 4:1-7

The wife of a man from the company of the prophets cried out to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he reverend the Lord. But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves.”

Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?"

“Your servant has nothing there at all,” she said, “except a little oil.”

Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few. Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.”

She left him and afterwards shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.”

But he replied, “There is not a jar left.” Then oil stopped flowing.

She went and told the man of God, and he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts. You and yours sons can live on what is left.”

If I were this wife in question I bet you, the approach of this widow would be my choice of approach in handling this situation. That token of money that feels so little and inadequate to go by for a week not to talk of for four weeks, bearing in mind that the members of the family would have to eat three times a day and considering the economic situation of the country and the cost of food items, would be committed into the hands of God to bless and multiply being confident that the God who fed five thousand able bodied men outside of women and children and they still collected twelve baskets full of leftovers is still very much on the throne and His power and expertise in handling difficult situations such as this has not diminished. He was God then and He is still God now and He is still in the business of answering prayers.

David said in Psalm 34:10 that “The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing,” and again in Psalm 37:25 he said, “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” This widow we read of in 2 Kings 4:1-7 sought the Lord and she was not put to shame. She called on God with her "nothing at all except a little oil" and her problems were immediately taken care of.

Even though I pray the men reading this would not use what I am about to write as an excuse to fail in their responsibilities as husbands and fathers in providing for their families, I would tell this wife to appreciate her husband for the little he has dropped. Some wives are still struggling to have their husbands drop such a little as this. But that said, the wife who is a child of God will call on God to work on that little and multiply it such that it will continue to meet the needs of the home until the husband is able to drop another trench, and hopefully the next time it will be a little more than the previous time.

Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” This Bible passage didn’t say that “and your husband will meet all your needs.” As a matter of fact your husband is just a vessel in the hands of God in meeting your needs, and God can decide to choose another vessel who is not your husband if He so wishes to. The important thing is that God meets all your needs; so whether it's through your husband or otherwise, is not so much of an issue as the fact that your needs are met.

So appreciate your husband for the little he has to drop, accept it with joy and give him room to want to do more. When you show gratitude to your husband for what you think is little, you make him want to do more, and leave him with no excuse not to want to do more next time except he genuinely does not have. How you make that little work to adequately meet the needs of the home is a business that you let God take care of for you; all you need to do is exercise your faith and give God that mustard seed faith that He needs to make the impossible possible in your situation.   

A Very Costly Disobedience

In my post today I will be sharing a true life story that I came across on one of the social media groups that I belong to. It is a very touching story and will most likely bring tears to your eyes. But there is a big lesson from it and I pray that this makes a big impact in the lives of those reading this.

The Story

My marriage is 2years now and it has been so wonderful until something shocking stole my joy away. I am a mother of two, a boy and a girl, and the age difference between them is just a year and two months. When I gave birth to my second child, my husband said I should stop work and take care of the kids but I told him I couldn’t stop work based on other people’s experiences that I had heard. He begged me, but I refused. He told me he had plans for me but I told him to make the plan a reality first before asking me to stop work. So he left me to my stubbornness since I wanted to follow my heart. Unfortunately for me, a couple of months ago (date withheld), I was set for work, I was feeding my boy before taking him to school, he refused eating so I forced him. He vomited the food, then I took him from the bedroom to the sitting room. As I carried him, I discovered he had pooed on his diaper and so I cleaned him up and took a clean diaper from his school bag to wear on him. Once done, I left the sitting room to get a replacement diaper for his school bag not knowing that my son had walked out of the sitting room into the parking lot of the building. It was my son’s cry that alerted me that he was not where I left him. On rushing towards his voice I realized that my neighbor, who was reversing out of the parking lot, not knowing that my son was behind his car, drove over him with his tyre climbing over my son’s head. I ran like a mad woman that morning, but my little prince died before we got to the hospital. I wished death could take me instead. I asked God many questions with no answer. But that was not the end of my misery; my husband who had not been home for two months arrived to meet the lifeless body of his son in the mortuary. Since then the 90% love and attention that I got from my husband decreased to 10%. My husband held me responsible for the death of our son and said he would never forgive me except I bring back his son to life. Since then I have been passing through emotional trauma. He accused me of killing his joy. There is always tension in the house, I am no more the strong woman that I used to be. Even our 6months old baby girl is affected by this incident and development in our home. I can’t even pray. Every day my husband keeps talking about our late son; I am confused, can anyone advise me on what to do please.   

My Response

I had hoped to drop a comment on this post when I read it, but I guess I was a little late as usual as the comment icon had been disabled. But this is also a good medium to lend a voice and I pray that those who read this will keep the loads of lessons from it to heart and act on what they have learned.

First I will say that the only true and guaranteed source of healing is God, so no matter what, you need to pick up the pieces that is left, summon strength and like the prodigal son, find your way back to God in prayer. I need not say that you have had to learn the submission lesson the very hard way. But only God knows what He has to do, to make you do what He wants you to do. Probably if He didn’t hit you so hard, you will not learn. But I believe you have learned; who wouldn’t learn in a situation like this. But this is not a situation to drive you away from God, rather it should drive you closer to Him in total surrender with you telling God that you have dropped your will and you are ready to take up His will and do things the way He wants them done. If God says submit to your husband, then He means business about it.

It’s no surprise that your husband holds you responsible for the death of his son, any normal person would, but that is not the end of the matter. When you surrender to God, He will take up your matter and right all the wrongs on your behalf. He will soften the heart of your husband and renew the love in your marriage.

It’s very painful to lose a child but I bless God that you are not barren, neither is it that you are too old to conceive. So in your case there is a bright hope that God will bless you yet again with another boy child and this time it will not just be a boy child, you will have them come as a double blessings; special sons to a special child of God.

Don’t fight your husband, let him hurt and let him express himself, don’t bother telling him it’s not your fault, just beg him. Apologize to him for disobeying his instructions; tell him you have learned your lessons the hard and bitter way, tell him he is your king and will always remain so. Show him that you are sorry and repentant. Never argue with his instructions again. Obey and let God take care of the rest. See the foolish wisdom in obedience to your husband and pursue it with all your energy and it will be well with you. I am praying for you and I know that your marriage will sail through this trying time in Jesus name. 

Why Didn't You Make it Work

Today I will share a story that has really burdened my heart. It is a story that I happen to know those involved, but I am really pained by what became of their union. These were people I had counseled and the fact that their marriage didn’t last was a big pain to me. In marriage prayer is very important.

The Story

A young man that I happen to know was in love with a young lady who was of another tribe and culture from his own tribe and culture, but they share the same faith. They were both Christians. Because of the difference in tribe the mother of the guy was hell bent on not approving their union because she wanted her son to marry a wife from their own tribe who spoke their language. But the father of the guy didn’t oppose to the union as long as his son was okay with the wife he wanted to marry.

The man did all that he could to prevail on his mother to allow him marry the woman of his heart. It was at this point that I was invited into the situation and I advised both bride and groom to be, to commit the situation into the hands of God. The man appealed to his mother through every possible means he knew. The Reverend Father of their church was invited into the situation and after so much pleading and convincing, the mother allowed the union to sail through. Or so I thought.

The wedding ceremony went smoothly but barely two months after the wedding, these two interesting couples have gone their separate ways and the groom is now married to another woman who now has a son for him barely a year after marrying the first wife. This new wife is from his tribe and culture and speaks the same language as he and his family does to the satisfaction of his mother. Now, my worry is that what happened to the love that held him bound to the first woman he married that they both fought dearly for against all odds to the point that they were able to tie the knot.

I have not had the opportunity to speak to the husband or wife to find out what went wrong and why such didn’t go wrong before they eventually got married even with the strong resistance that was put up by the groom’s mother. But I was able to speak with the groom’s sister and believe me; she was unable to give me any cogent reason for the breakup of that marriage that lasted just for two months safe of minor differences.  The wife complains that the husband is smoking excessively and the husband says the wife nags too much. And believe me I am so pained by this situation that one would be tempted to think it happened to my blood brother.

I am sharing this story so that we might understand that marriage is sacrosanct; it’s a covenant that must be kept and one must abide with for the rest of one's life. And so it is not a union that you can just jump into and jump out of at will. Sometimes it’s just advisable to stay unmarried when you are unsure, than to carelessly heap the wrath of God on your life and destiny.

When you do what God hates, you invite or should I say attract His wrath on your life and destiny. God says He hates DIVORCE. He even warned in Malachi 2:16 that you should guard yourself in your spirit not to break faith with the wife of your youth. There is a huge importance that God attaches to the position of the wife of one’s youth that you also need to attach equal importance to if not more if you would attract the blessings of God rather than His wrath.

Malachi 2:13-16 tells us how much importance God attaches to marriage, yet we His people take it with levity as though it is just one of those things. It is this same nonchalant attitude that the sons of God attached to marriage in Genesis 6:1-5 that made God declare that His Spirit will no longer contend with men any longer and that every thought of their heart is evil all the time.

When in future life begins to look bleak and challenges are coming up from every angle, the man will begin to wonder why is it so, but God will honor His word because that is Who He is. He will stop to pay attention to the offerings of this man and will not accept them with pleasure because he has broken faith with the wife of his youth; the wife of his marriage covenant which God stood to witness. God will act as a judge between this two and will judge each one accordingly. So why invite the wrath of God on your life. Why not consider your future and your walk to God and hold on to God to help you through the challenges of your union?

I will stop here, but I pray that I have reached the core of someone’s heart with this post today to know, understand and appreciate that it’s a lot better to stick it out and work it out and come out better off, than to walk away and stand before God’s judgment to answer why you didn’t make your marriage work. 

When the Sons of God began to Marry the Daughters of Men

As I was beginning to trust God on what I should share in today’s blog post, I came across this scripture and I believe that God would want to speak to our hearts through it today.

Genesis 6:1-3

When men began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. Then the Lord said, “My Spirit will not contend with man for ever, for he is mortal; his days will be a hundred and twenty years.

This is the Bible scripture the Lord dropped in my spirit for today’s post and the first thing that came to my attention is found in vs.2 of the passage which says “the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful and they married any of them they chose.” Looking at this passage from face value you would wonder why God would then declare that His Spirit will not contend with man for ever; what could have made God arrive at this conclusion just because the sons of God saw that the daughters of men where beautiful and married any of them they chose. So I decided to read backwards a little and found this in Genesis 4:26b and it says “At that time men began to call on the name of the Lord.” No wonder these men were referred to as sons of God and not sons of men.

So the sons of God who had began to call on the name of the Lord at that time didn’t see the need to call on the name of the Lord before choosing a wife for themselves. Even though they had known to call on the name of the Lord, they didn’t deem it fit to call on the name of the Lord on the most important decision of their lives, rather they allowed the lust of the flesh to rule their senses and mislead them.

Note that when men began to call on the name of the Lord, God blessed them with length of years and they lived to close to a thousand years. We had men who lived more than 900years on the face of the earth because at that time they were calling on the name of the Lord. But when the sons of God who called on the name of the Lord decided that there were some issues they could handle themselves without God, one of which was choosing the daughters of men as wives based on outward beauty, their days ware cut short. They no longer lived 900years or more, they now have a life span of 120years.

When you read further on to Genesis 6:5 which says “The Lord saw how great man’s wickedness on earth had become, and that every inclination of the thought of his heart was only evil all the time,” you will notice that the aftermath of the decision of the sons of God marrying the daughters of men without divine consultation with God is that the hearts of men began to grow wicked and the thought of their hearts was evil all the time.

If we break it down a little, you will note that it is only a marriage without the fear of God in it that will lead to a divorce; it is only a marriage without God in it that will be characterized by violence. Every negative attributes of marriage is evident in a marriage in which those in it have not put God first. When you choose a wife without consulting God, the likelihood of choosing wrong is very high. When you choose wrong, then you have burdened yourself with a wife who will drain value from your life rather than add value to it. Every man has huge responsibilities to fulfill for God and if the wife who is to help is becoming too demanding herself then frustration sets in. With this frustration comes every evil thought that can possibly be conceived. No wonder God says that every inclination of the heart of men was evil all the time after the man has burdened himself with a beautiful liability and a beautiful value drainer.

I am now tempted to say that the negativity that is seen and felt the world over is as a result of the wrong foundation that we have built our marriages on. God has been relegated to the background of our marital lives and experiences. We worship God in our churches but not in our homes and so our orientation is faulty, our values are faulty, our traditions are faulty and these same faulty characteristics we pass unto our children.

If only the men would go back to that time when they began to call on the name of the Lord and they would no longer be referred to as men, but as sons of God.