The Power of a Working Wife

 

It is generally believed that a man is supposed to be the breadwinner of his home and the primary and only financial source for the family. Although there seems to be a shift in this mindset owing to the economy of the world we live in today, let’s just look into this situation holistically. This is necessary for wives who believe that they do not have any business working to earn income or provide financial support in the home with their personal income.

Let’s start with what Paul says in 2 Thessalonians 3:10; there, we find the law that ‘The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.’ This is not a law for men alone. If so, Paul would have been more specific in that scripture. So, male or female, husband or wife, all must work. As children of God, we have learned from Genesis 2:1-2 and all over the Bible that God also works. So, if God is working, why won’t we? It is simply an unrealistic illusion for anyone to sit idle and expect the best to accrue to him or her. The laws of life don’t work that way; anyone unwilling to work shall not eat. Laziness is for the perishing.

So, to address the wife who thinks that financial support is not part of her assignment in marriage, we will check out what Solomon said about a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:13-18. One of the high points of a virtuous wife is that she willingly works with her hands; she is an embodiment of strength, and she strengthens her own arms (she waits on no one to do that for her); she provides for her household; she considers a field and buys it, and with her profits, she plants a vineyard (she is a master of investments). All these she does by herself, not that the Bible says her husband set her up. So, with or without the enabling of her husband, she is not relenting. The Lord who has assigned her as a suitable helper in her marriage is the source of her strength and her enabler.

I find something interesting in Proverbs 31:11, which says, ‘The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so, he will have no lack of gain.’ I am struggling a bit to comprehend this verse, but if I am correct, Solomon is saying that a virtuous woman's husband does not lack gain because of the character of the wife he has married. If a wife is as strong, forward-thinking, goal-oriented, a die-hard achiever, loving, caring, and supportive as Solomon described in Proverbs 31:10-31, I can bet her husband will never lack gain. Behind a successful husband is a virtuous woman described by Solomon. Such a woman will forever be the queen of her husband’s heart.

But I will deviate a little so we can have a holistic approach to this issue, as I mentioned at the beginning. Some wives are homemakers, not by their own will but for circumstances beyond them. For some, the husbands do not wish for them to work, and for some, like me, we are still waiting on God and on the path of financial growth. This category of wives is not those unwilling to work. There are situations where the husband has decided to prioritize the well-being of the children and decided that in the best interest of their young children, the wife should stay home and care for them. For wives in this category, the instructions for submission to your husband supersedes your need to earn income. But never stop praying and find the means to grow yourself in a manner that will not jeopardize your submission to your husband. Learn and keep learning. Continue to sow the seed of growth in your life so you don’t become stale in knowledge when the opportunity to launch out comes. Know that your children will not be young forever; at a time, they will be grown enough to give you the space to be the virtuous woman Solomon described. And honestly, homemaking is work.  A big one at that.

Sometimes, I like to think of myself as jobless, basically because I fall into the category of those who are not earning income YET. This is not because I am unwilling to work but because I am still doing God's business. But a pastor friend told me that I am a miracle going somewhere to happen, and that stuck with me. I have spent much of my life as a stay-at-home mum, and my primary assignment was our four children, as well as every other assignment that was given to me by my husband. I can tell you that I can be very handy in the home. I fix any and everything that needs to be repaired in the house, enabled with a safe-cost spirit to everything. I love to learn, too. I am a full-stack web developer and a certified Scrum Master, and I love to write blogs like the one you are reading. As a matter of fact, I built the website that hosts my blogs and books from scratch. So, you will wonder why I don’t have a job. I trust God's time because He makes all things beautiful in His time. He is my destiny's director, so I wait on Him. I enjoy writing these blogs, and the feedback I get from them is very fulfilling. 

I hope the perspective shared in this blog is all-encompassing and touching various case scenarios, even to the point of sharing my personal story. However, the message remains that anyone unwilling to work should not eat. If you want God to bless you, you need to give Him work to bless. And your income as a wife is a tool of support for your husband, too.

I suppose you have gained some value from what you have read above. There is much more value stored in the books I wrote, and you can find out about my books by clicking here. The beautiful additive is that the books are available in Audio format, eBook, and Hardcopies. You get to read the entire first chapter for free. To make a purchase, you first need to create an account by signing up for one and have all your purchased books stored in your account with lifetime access if you are buying the eBook or Audiobook format.

 

A Little Secret on What to Expect from Your Children in Old Age

There are a handful of anomalies in the world today; one of them is the idea of parents raising children as their retirement plans. The idea of ensuring your children are properly educated just so that they can shoulder your burden in old age is something I want to discuss in today’s blog.

Proverbs 13:22 teaches us that a good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children. So, the Bible standard is for a good man not only to leave an inheritance for his children but also for his children’s children. This explains why relying on the children you have provided for and paid their way through school as a means of sustenance in old age is an anomaly.  That is not the standard.

Raising children is a God-given assignment. It can also be regarded as a civic responsibility to society if the children you have labored over turn out to be positive contributors to society and make a positive impact in their sphere of influence. The joy of knowing that the child you raised and trained is standing tall in society is yours. But you erode that pride of fulfillment when all you did it for was to have the child pay you back with interest when he is old enough to do so. Your child or children is not an investment but an assignment from God. And for that assignment, you will give an account to God.

In 1 Timothy 5:4, we have an instruction from Paul that encourages children to put their religion into practice by caring for their family and repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. If we have established that children should not become an investment plan for parents in old age, that does not translate to giving children the pass to be callous and uncaring to their parents in old age. The Bible says your love for God is displayed by how much you care for your parents and grandparents. If God has blessed you, it is for a reason, and one such reason is that you are able to care for those who labored tirelessly to see you succeed in life. If they have poured into you of their strength and resources, it is just ideal to pour back of your strength and resources when their strength is diminishing. That is just the moral thing to do.

So, we look at this issue from two endpoints. In old age, parents are entitled to support, love, and care from their children as long as these children have the resources to provide this support. From the place of love, sacrifice, and gratitude, children should care for their parents in old age. But to avoid disappointment in old age, understand that your children are not designed and given to you by God as a retirement plan. They are not an investment as we have now made it to be. It is out of the conscience of a child's heart that he should not neglect his aging parents, but not on the demand of the aging parent. A good man, the Bible says, leaves an inheritance for his children and does not wait on the crumbs that fall from his children’s table to survive in old age.

It is a recipe for disaster when a man puts his trust in another man for sustenance, no matter who this human is – whether your beloved child or supportive spouse (Jeremiah 17:5). Your primary source of help is and always should be God. Psalm 46:1 tells us that God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. It is God that is your help, not your child or grandchild. And when He is stepping in to help, He uses whoever He pleases to use. But when you train your child well enough, and you diligently fulfill your God-given assignment in the life of that child, enabling him/her to achieve lofty height and great success, he or she becomes a very ready vessel for God to use for you in times of need and help. Psalm 127:3-5 teaches us that “children are a heritage from the Lord and like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born to a man in his youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”

So, I conclude by saying, train your child without expectations but as an assignment from God. And for the children, love and care for your parents as vessels of God not just in bringing you into the world but in instilling great values in you and being instrumental to all that God has caused you to achieve in success. This is the balance in the matter. 

I suppose you have gained some value from what you have read above. There is much more value stored in the books I wrote, and you can find out about my books by clicking here. The beautiful additive is that the books are available in Audio format, eBook, and Hardcopies. You get to read the entire first chapter for free. To make a purchase, you first need to create an account by signing up for one and have all your purchased books stored in your account with lifetime access if you are buying the eBook or Audiobook format. 

Your Spouse is Not Responsible for Your Happiness

A dear friend sent me a private message requesting that I write on a few topics, which is precisely what I will be doing in my next few blog posts. I encourage you to send me a message through the Contact Us page using this link if there is anything you would like me to discuss as a blog topic.

The first topic she wants to read about is titled "Your Spouse is Not Responsible for Your Happiness." This sounds like something I wrote about many years ago, but I will trust God for fresh insight from His throne of grace to share a word that will indeed meet the needs of someone and, in fact, people who may come across this post.

Going by the word of God in Genesis 2:18, we are made to understand that based on God's review of creation, He concluded that it is not good for man to be alone, so He needed to make a helper suitable for Him. Solomon also shares profound wisdom in Ecclesiastes 4:9, when he says that two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. With that said, having a companion in the person of a God-given spouse cannot be overemphasized. Marriage is so much joy when you run it by the dictates of the Bible. And a companion takes the loneliness away and makes life more beautiful. 

While your spouse is a vessel of accomplishment as you both support each other for growth and accomplishment, relying on your spouse as a source of happiness is a recipe for disappointment. In Jeremiah 17:5, the Lord says, 'Cursed is the man (including woman) who trust in man, and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord.' As long as your source of strength and trust is in a human, based on what the Lord says in this passage above, you are getting it all wrong.

Your spouse can give you some level of comfort and peace of mind; they can be a source of good advice and reliable support for growth. They are reliably there when you feel low and need someone to be vulnerable with, but their ability is still very limited as long as they are still human and not God. When you remove your focus from God and place it on your spouse and replace God with your spouse in your life, that is the beginning of heartbreak. The best of your spouse is still human, capable of being tempted and falling into temptation. In all sincerity, your spouse may not want to hurt you; they love you so much that they will not hurt you intentionally. However, the truth remains that good intentions and love can still fail when put through daring challenges and intense temptation. I will always say that the best of a man is still a man in all of his frailties. God, knowing this, says, 'cursed is the man who puts his trust in man.'

Your happiness, self-esteem, or personal values are qualities that depend on no one else but you, with your focus on God. While I do not subscribe to abandoning your responsibilities as a wife or husband, father or mother, your personal mental health is an assignment for you to take care of. How you position yourself, and the value you place on yourself is the value people will put on you. No one but you will nurse your personal well-being for you. As long as you are not disabled to the point where you rely on your spouse to feed you your meals, then your ability to handle your mental and emotional well-being is yours. The only support that can adequately help is that of God.  

But on the flip side, it is possible for your spouse to do everything within their means to make you happy, and you still will not be happy. This is because you are the only one who knows what makes you happy, thereby making your happiness your personal responsibility. Your spouse can hurt you but cannot steal your joy unless you let them. Depending on anyone, no matter how close or far, to be the source of your happiness or joy is like not wanting to take responsibility for yourself and blaming others for what you should be blaming yourself for. Joy, which is a deeper form of happiness, is a fruit of the Spirit from God (Galatians 5:22). Rather than seek happiness from a human who is limited in his abilities, seek it from God. 

I suppose you have gained some value from what you have read above. There is much more value stored in the books I wrote, and you can find out about my books by clicking here. The beautiful additive is that the books are available in Audio format, eBook, and Hardcopies. You get to read the entire first chapter for free. To make a purchase, you first need to create an account by signing up for one and have all your purchased books stored in your account with lifetime access if you are buying the eBook or Audiobook format. 

Removing the "I" in Your Marriage

I want to title my blog today: “Removing the ‘I’ in Marriage.” Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” So, when two people enter into a marriage union, a joining takes place just like we have read in the scripture. As long as they both remain in that joining, everything is fine. But the joining begins to crack when the word “I” is introduced into the union.

How can this simple one-letter word “I” become so dangerous in a marriage union? The dictionary tells us that “I” is a personal pronoun in first-person singular; “me” is the objective form of “I,” and mine is the possessive form. We also have “myself” as the reflexive and intensive form of “I.” In all of these descriptions of the word “I,” I have yet to see where joining, as spoken in Genesis 2:24, plays a role. Yet, that joining is the basis of every marriage. Without the joining, there is no marriage.

What this tells me is that as long as the word “I” becomes prominent in your relationship with your spouse, the marriage is starting to experience a crack. Once one spouse begins to have a sense of superiority over the other spouse, danger looms, and if not checked, what will be left of the marriage will be two individuals coexisting; if nothing is further done and the center can no longer hold, they start to speak of a divorce.  The word “I” is self-gratifying, selfish, self-promoting, and self-focused. While taking care of yourself and working towards your happiness and mental well-being is important, it should never be done at the expense of your marriage union.

One of my favorite scriptures on marriage is in Matthew 19: 4-6, and if you permit me, I would like to quote it here in full. It says, “And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’”  In these direct words of Jesus, I have not encountered any form of personal pronoun or first-person singular word expression, yet this is the divine foundation upon which God establishes marriage.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 tells us that two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. Jesus then tells us that in marriage, God joins the two (male and female) to become one, which is better and more rewarding. Unless the “I” spoken by any of the two individuals in marriage refers not to a singular individual but a unit of two becoming one (which is naturally not the case), the only acceptable pronoun for every action in marriage should be “we.” If your marriage will stand the test of time, the first word to abolish in your home is “I.”

What that tells you, in essence, is that every action taken in that marriage should be taken with the word “we” in focus. Everything should be done in unison. There must be an agreement of purpose and alignment of implementation in all that you have to do in your marriage. This alignment and agreement would not just promote peace and love in your marriage; it is the hidden secret of great achievement and success in all that you two plan to do.

There is great power in agreement; even the devil is very aware of that. In Matthew 18:19, Jesus teaches that if two agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them by God. Which two are better to ask in agreement if not the two of a husband and his wife? In Deuteronomy 32:30, we learn that with the help of God, one can chase a thousand, and two can put ten thousand to flight. This tells me that the mathematics of agreement is beyond simple arithmetic progression. If you think you are successful by yourself, try out the power of agreement simply by removing the “I” in that success and changing it with a “we.” Enlist the agreement of your spouse, work as a unit of two becoming one, and not as a single individual, and put God in the mix. Do this genuinely, and I will wait for your testimony. 

I suppose you have gained some value from what you have read above. There is much more value stored in the books I wrote, and you can find out about my books by clicking here. The beautiful additive is that the books are available in Audio format, eBook, and Hardcopies. You get to read the entire first chapter for free. To make a purchase, you first need to create an account by signing up for one and have all your purchased books stored in your account with lifetime access if you are buying the eBook or Audiobook format. 

A Secret for the Financially Success Wife

One of the big issues in marriage is finances, and understandably so. The Bible, in fact, tells us that the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil—1 Timothy 6:10. The financial issues of marriage come in various shapes and forms. Either the husband is not doing enough, or the wife is not helping. But one common tool of the devil in destroying homes and marriages is money. No matter how resolute couples are not to let money come between them, that issue finds a way of raring its ugly head in the peace of stable homes, causing havoc on its way.  

In today’s blog, I want to address one common aspect of financial issues in marriage that we are not so mindful of as wives. So, I kind of want to speak to the financially successful wife. All wives need to engage God’s wisdom in their marriages. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 24:3-4 that through wisdom, a house is built, and with understanding, it is established. We are also aware that the wise woman builds her house (Proverbs 14:1). So, I won’t be wrong to say that the success of a marriage is largely dependent on the building ability of the wife and her wisdom level.

While the wives need to seek and consume large chunks of wisdom, the successful wife needs to double her quest for wisdom if she is to build her house. If, as a wife, you have any advantage over your husband in any way, it is not a tool to overpower or suppress your spouse. It is a tool given to you by God to support him and enable him to be all that God has called him to be.

With that said, how do we support our husbands with our success? Some wives have diligently picked up bills on behalf of their husbands, taken care of financial issues in the home, and done remarkably well but killed it all with the attitude that followed afterward. There is no use doing so much, and then all your husband hears from you is how you saved his life and bought all the appliances in the house and paid the children’s school fees and going on and on and on about what you have brought to the table and contributed to the marriage. It would have been better if you hadn’t done all that than to do it and never stop talking about it.

The side effect of this attitude is that rather than being grateful for your support, your husband will detest you for it. Your continuous narrations and highlights bring out the inadequacy in your husband. You telling him daily how you have helped him has killed all the help. One truth you must realize is that without you saying it out loud, he knows and appreciates it. He is proud of your support, but when it comes from you, it kills the value of what you have done. So, when providing support, please do it without making a fuss about it. You should not expect gratitude from your husband but praise from God, who gave you the resources you are helping with and has assigned you to help in the first place.

When you wonder why your husband is not acknowledging your help or being grateful for it, check the attitude you have built around the support you have provided. One story in the Bible that speaks so well to this point for me is the story of Abigail, Nabal’s wife, found in 1 Samuel 25:2- end. The Bible tells us that Nabal was a wealthy but foolish man with a beautiful and intelligent wife named Abigail. Nabal had insulted David, thereby touching the tail of a lion, and David had sworn not just to kill Nabal but his entire household. David had prepared to take off for the mission of massacre when Abigail heard of the trouble that her husband had caused. She immediately swung to action to save the situation, providing supplies to appease David and remove the disaster about to befall her husband and his house. But verse 19 tells us that she didn’t tell her husband about it. Abigail did what she had to do but didn’t make any fuss about it.  God, who saw all that happened, rewarded Nabal and Abigail according to their input in the matter. God killed Nabal, and Abigail married David.

When you help and support your husband based on the resources God has given you, note one thing: you are not doing your husband a favor; you are simply fulfilling your God-given assignment for which your husband and home are beneficiaries. The more you fulfill your God-given assignment in that regard, the more resources will be poured into you by God. And when you don’t kill it all with a proud and self-gratifying attitude, you maintain the peace and stability of your home and, above all, earn the respect and love of your husband.  

 

I suppose you have gained some value from what you have read above. There is much more value stored in the books I wrote, and you can find out about my books by clicking here. The beautiful additive is that the books are available in Audio format, eBook, and Hardcopies. You get to read the entire first chapter for free. To make a purchase, you first need to create an account by signing up for one and have all your purchased books stored in your account with lifetime access if you are buying the eBook or Audiobook format. 

Let's start with faith

I want to start by thanking God that we all made it to the new year. It is 2025, and in Jesus' name, it will be a glorious year for all of us. I had to take a break to spend time with my husband and children for the holiday, and I hope you missed me as much as I missed sharing something with you on the blog.

It’s a new year with new expectations and wants for and from the year. There are hopes and plans for this new year. And just like last year, some expectations will be met, and some will not. But the biggest thing I want us to take into 2025 is Faith. While we will need to put some effort into realizing some of our desires and wants, like understanding and knowing that the volume of work we put in will determine the volume of income and reward that accrues to us, we cannot remove faith from our 2025.

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. All of what we desire and want for the year 2025 comes from one source, and that is God. The ability to put in the appropriate effort, which will be enough to make things happen without experiencing burnout or frustration in 2025, comes from God. Deuteronomy 8:18 teaches us that it is God who gives us the power to obtain wealth. Peace, love, joy, wealth, health, and everything we hope to have to make 2025 a memorable year loaded with testimonies all come from God. Ecclesiastes 2:24-26 tells us that laboring so hard and enjoying the proceeds of our labor also comes from. And then Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith, it is impossible to please God. 

Without understanding how your dreams will materialize or how things will add up to make that hope move from the point of a farfetched want to tangible manifestation, I want to encourage you to have a powerful faith. You honestly don’t need to know how things will fall into place; I think you should let God worry about that. Your assignment is simply to hand over the desires and wants to God and leave them there. Your faith should be strong enough to overshadow the challenges that may want to sneak into your peace in 2025.

I want to share an interesting story of what happened to my husband and me during this break. We made a trip during the holiday; trust me, I had overpacked. All our carry-on bags were so full that we had no allowance for anything more. I had three carry-on bags instead of two. But interestingly, as we were driving to the airport, my husband realized he drove to the airport with just his socks on and without shoes. My son, on the other hand, had an extra pair of shoes in his hand luggage, and he wears shoes of the same size as my husband.

As we waited at the boarding gate, there was an announcement that only two carry-on bags were allowed, but I had three. I needed to find a way to re-organize myself to reduce my stuff to two carry-on bags. We were already at the airport about to board the plane, and I could not return anything home at this point. However, because my husband forgot his shoes and had to wear my son’s, my boy had room in his bag where I could reduce my stuff and meet the two carry-on requirements. While on the plane, the Lord dropped in my spirit that my husband, forgetting to wear his shoes (which was unbelievably weird), was no coincidence. The Lord, who knew what awaited us at the airport, had pre-arranged our journey so we wouldn’t have any issues. We traveled hassle-free.

Just like my story, your 2025 has been taken care of by God. He has prepared the year to favor you; all you need to do to activate that favor is your faith. We don’t know what awaits us in 2025, just like I didn't know what awaited me at the airport, but God knows, and He has already made a way for us all to experience a beautiful and fulfilling 2025. So, we are just to go into the year loaded with faith and in complete trust that God has ensured that only the best is what we experience in 2025 in Jesus’ name. 

A Very Tough Advice I had to Give

Some time ago, a lady confided in my husband about her failed marriage. Apparently, her husband was a friend of my husband. She felt that since the two men were good friends, she could speak to my husband to positively influence her husband. Her husband had taken a second wife without her knowledge, and she was torn apart (who wouldn't be?). But then my husband proffered a solution: She should speak with me. So she came to the house, and we had a heart-to-heart discussion.

Unlike what she would have wanted to hear from me, my God-sent advice to her was to go fight for her marriage. By so doing, she was to show love, respect, and submission to her husband as though she was the only one married to him. My advice to her was for her to be the best thing that could ever happen to her husband, and in so doing, she was to pray to God and ask for the leading of the Holy Spirit to show her the missing link in her husband's life that she was to fill and how she could fill the space. Rather than fight, she was to act as though she was the only wife and woman in her husband's life. Though this would be a tough thing to do (obviously so), with prayers (plenty of it) and reliance on the strength and grace of God, it was very possible for her to do it. 

I encouraged her to be the sufficiency in her husband's life to the point where he would not have any feelings of inadequacy to the point of seeking adequacy elsewhere. As long as there was no physical abuse, the grace of God was all she needed to fight and win her battle. Every battle in marriage and life generally requires different tactics and approaches, and it's only God who would fight the battle on our behalf that determines the suited approach for the issue at hand. 

I am sure a lot of people reading this now will say that the man who will cheat will definitely cheat no matter how good his wife is. But sincerely, that is not true. The way to overcome infidelity in marriage is not about trusting your man not to cheat. It's about entrusting your man into the hands of God and believing God not to let him do anything that will affect the stability of your marriage. Your husband can fall even when he does not mean to; he will disappoint you unintentionally. But God can never disappoint your trust in Him. A man will always be tempted, but he can overcome such temptation with the help of the Holy Spirit through the fervent prayer of his wife. Also, if, as a wife, you become to your husband his true sufficiency with the help of the Holy Spirit leading your life and steps in marriage, you give your husband one less reason to fall under temptation when he remembers that he has a queen at home who will do everything it takes to make him feel like a king. If a man is made to feel special in his home, he has no reason other than greed to seek anyone outside of his wife to make him feel special.

Before I continue my story, I know many wives would say they have tried everything within their understanding to make their husbands feel special, yet they remain unfaithful to them. Well, I have learned over time that there are many things that I think I know but flop at. There are many things that I assumed I did right but actually got wrong. You can imagine making a very special dish for your husband, and he gets home only to show interest in eating something entirely different from what you have labored to make. So, wives trying to please their husbands with self-effort dance in the face of frustration. But there is Someone who knows your spouse more than you do, and that Someone is God. So, when you ask God to show you how to make your husband feel like a king, He directs you perfectly. Whatever you do by the leading of the Spirit of God in you, you will never miss the target. Trying to please and satisfy your husband with your understanding is likened to chasing after the wind because his likes will change frequently, and you will get frustrated trying to meet up. But with the help of God, you can never miss the target. When God is in the mix, everything He leads you to do and you obey will be right on target. 

So, going back to my story, I shared all of these ideas with this troubled wife, but she was too hurt to listen or accept. First, she complained and wondered how she could treat a man who abandoned her for another woman special. She also wondered how possible it was to treat like a king a man who doesn't care how she and the children were fairing. And she told me point blank that it was impossible to ever make love with a man who has given himself to another woman.

I then wondered why she was running around seeking intervention in a marriage she wasn't ready to fight for and wasn't willing to make efforts to remedy. I asked her what she wanted from the man if she wasn't willing to forgive and give anything capable of drawing him back to her. Well, she told me she just wanted the man to take responsibility for his family.

A couple of years later, the man took a third wife. And then had a fraud case at work and was dismissed. Whatever responsibility the first wife sought from the husband towards her and the children was no longer possible as he was not financially capable of taking up any financial responsibility. I will say that this man failed woefully, but I will say his wife failed much more.

The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 4:10 that if a man falls, his companion will lift him up, but woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to lift him up. What other fall is more common than the fall to sin, and what other companion does a man need to lift him up than his wife, whom God has designated as his suitable helper. This is really hard to accept, but it's the honest truth. Even though we feel betrayed when our spouses are unfaithful to us, you shouldn't snuff out the life out of your marriage for that reason. It hurts, and yes, I know it hurts, but much more than the hurt we feel is the grace we have in Christ Jesus to forgive and repair, and by so doing, we kill the hold of the devil over our marriages.

I agree that it takes the grace of God to follow through with such advice as this, but let's consider the other options, which are break-up and divorce. Now, which of these alternatives is better for the situation? When we hear from a divorced person, they'll tell you the scare never goes away. And we do not talk of the scare on just the couple, but also on their children (if any). Thinking deeply about this, which would you rather do? Forgive and repair, or take a walk and divorce?