A Little Secret on What to Expect from Your Children in Old Age

There are a handful of anomalies in the world today; one of them is the idea of parents raising children as their retirement plans. The idea of ensuring your children are properly educated just so that they can shoulder your burden in old age is something I want to discuss in today’s blog.

Proverbs 13:22 teaches us that a good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children. So, the Bible standard is for a good man not only to leave an inheritance for his children but also for his children’s children. This explains why relying on the children you have provided for and paid their way through school as a means of sustenance in old age is an anomaly.  That is not the standard.

Raising children is a God-given assignment. It can also be regarded as a civic responsibility to society if the children you have labored over turn out to be positive contributors to society and make a positive impact in their sphere of influence. The joy of knowing that the child you raised and trained is standing tall in society is yours. But you erode that pride of fulfillment when all you did it for was to have the child pay you back with interest when he is old enough to do so. Your child or children is not an investment but an assignment from God. And for that assignment, you will give an account to God.

In 1 Timothy 5:4, we have an instruction from Paul that encourages children to put their religion into practice by caring for their family and repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. If we have established that children should not become an investment plan for parents in old age, that does not translate to giving children the pass to be callous and uncaring to their parents in old age. The Bible says your love for God is displayed by how much you care for your parents and grandparents. If God has blessed you, it is for a reason, and one such reason is that you are able to care for those who labored tirelessly to see you succeed in life. If they have poured into you of their strength and resources, it is just ideal to pour back of your strength and resources when their strength is diminishing. That is just the moral thing to do.

So, we look at this issue from two endpoints. In old age, parents are entitled to support, love, and care from their children as long as these children have the resources to provide this support. From the place of love, sacrifice, and gratitude, children should care for their parents in old age. But to avoid disappointment in old age, understand that your children are not designed and given to you by God as a retirement plan. They are not an investment as we have now made it to be. It is out of the conscience of a child's heart that he should not neglect his aging parents, but not on the demand of the aging parent. A good man, the Bible says, leaves an inheritance for his children and does not wait on the crumbs that fall from his children’s table to survive in old age.

It is a recipe for disaster when a man puts his trust in another man for sustenance, no matter who this human is – whether your beloved child or supportive spouse (Jeremiah 17:5). Your primary source of help is and always should be God. Psalm 46:1 tells us that God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. It is God that is your help, not your child or grandchild. And when He is stepping in to help, He uses whoever He pleases to use. But when you train your child well enough, and you diligently fulfill your God-given assignment in the life of that child, enabling him/her to achieve lofty height and great success, he or she becomes a very ready vessel for God to use for you in times of need and help. Psalm 127:3-5 teaches us that “children are a heritage from the Lord and like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born to a man in his youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”

So, I conclude by saying, train your child without expectations but as an assignment from God. And for the children, love and care for your parents as vessels of God not just in bringing you into the world but in instilling great values in you and being instrumental to all that God has caused you to achieve in success. This is the balance in the matter. 

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