Just To Answer Your Question

I thank God again for a wonderful day with another wonderful opportunity to share God’s word. I thank God again for His word that is changing lives continually and I also thank Him for the lives that are being changed and homes that are healed. If you have been blessed by what you read on this blog then don’t keep the goodness to yourself, share with a friend and bless a soul, bless a home and put joy in the life of someone.

I was planning on continuing on the issue of money and marriage, but I am halted by a comment on the post titled “Handling Domestic Violence.” The person who posted the comment wants me to address a question, so I’ll do just that in this post before continuing on the topic of marriage and money. The question asked is as follows: 

God hates divorce. How about separation? Is there anywhere in the bible that says do not separate from an abusive man/marriage? We all have different pain thresholds, some can stay in the same marriage and pray, while some are better off far away from the abuse... and pray. (Pls ma'am address this)

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 reads “To the married I give this command (Not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." This passage to a large extent gives an answer to the question asked. God not Paul says a wife must not separate and if she does then she should remain unmarried or be reconciled back to him.

I am tempted to say that what we lack is not pain threshold but self-control and the ability to trust God with our problems. A wife in an abusive marriage can overcome that challenge without even leaving home if she knows how to discern her husband’s attitude, avoid confrontation of any kind and pray. Often times, it is what a wife says or does that triggers the monster on an abusive man. This she might do intentionally or innocently. Once you notice that trend, it is important that you as the wife test run your speech or rehearse your words within her before presenting same to your husband. When you are married to an aggressive husband you don’t do things spontaneously, you think well before you act or talk. You keep up with this till you are able to conquer the demon in him.

When a wife separates from her husband, the chances of reconciliation are very slim. Such marriage might never get back together. (Please note the word might). It is better to fight the war from within and watch the progress made. You can’t nurse a sick person to health when you are physically not present with him/her, it amounts to you not nursing the person at all.

But it’s not an impossible case to run in the face of danger. You are more a vessel for God being alive than dead. When you separate from an abusive man with the mind of pray and you still have the success of your marriage at heart but had to leave for the sake of the present challenge I don’t think God will persecute you for that. If you are separating then you should know that its not for the purpose of another marriage. When you are done praying it’s important to pack your bags and baggage and return to your place of assignment, which is in the life of your husband.

I hope this has puts clarity to the issue and we are beginning to have a clear understand of what God requires in this matter. May the Lord bless our homes.