Wednesday 4 May 2016

One More Thought On the Issues of Unity In Marraige

Much has been said about unity in marriage and now I am thinking “how can this be achievable between a husband and wife such as Nabal and Abigail.” As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, unity in marriage does not just come by chance, it is not a byproduct of love as most people would like to believe, but unity in marriage is an attribute that needs to be cultivated. It is something that has to be worked for and pursued as a goal in marriage.
It is often said that nothing good comes easy; this saying might be likened to the issue of unity in marriage. The devil will throw a lot of tantrums at your marriage to ensure that unity in that marriage is not attained. The wife and her husband will have conflicting opinions about more than one issue in their marriage but nonetheless they need to always have their minds focused on unity in their union in order to enjoy the benefits that accrues to those who have attained the goal.
A husband who has the unity of his marriage as his focus is a husband who bears the feeling and opinions of his wife in mind when making instructions or engaging in any action. A husband who has the unity of his marriage at heart is not a husband who is selfish in what he does. He is a husband who listens to the opinions of his wife, deliberate on issues with her before taking a decision or taking action on issues. Unlike what some tradition teaches, this husband who is one with his wife is not a weakling as some may think, but he is a man who knows that the prosperity of his life and the success of his assignment on earth is closely tied to the cooperation of his wife. He is a man who knows and understands that as one people (himself and his wife), nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them to do. This is a man who understands well his assignment for God and how to achieve much successfully.
A wife who has the unity of her marriage as her focus is a wife who knows the importance of submission. She is a wise woman who is not selfish in her ways and is not easily influenced by the outside world, but has her mind set on God. She is a wife who knows that her primary assignment given to her by God is to help her husband succeed in all he has to do and that is her main pursuit on the face of the earth. She knows that if her husband succeeds then she succeeds all the more. She is not in competition with her husband but strives to complement him while not attempting to take over his role or getting overzealous. She is not selfish but pursues the peace and prosperity of her husband as a means to the peace and prosperity of her own life. If her husband prospers, she prospers all the more. When things are done this way in marriage, then nothing the husband and the wife plans to do will be impossible for them.
Often times women have walked this line that I just described in marriage and when the husband becomes a success he begins to misbehave and forget that the success was not achieved on his strength alone but there was a lot of work done backstage by the suitable helper God has provided for him in his wife. Not too long after success is achieved that the husband begins to disdain his pillar of achievement. He forgets that it was when he was one people with his wife that success was achieved. In same manner the wife grows bitter and the bond of unity is broken and impossibility is allowed entrance into their union. So with this illustration, it is very important that the husband and his wife guards with all diligence the bond of unity that exist between them whether when successful or not.
Unity and communication are two inseparable entities in marriage because, how can you unite with someone you don’t communicate with? How is it possible to deliberate on goals and objectives when the husband and his wife have communication problems? So when there are quarrels and misunderstandings in marriage it is important that communication is not broken. Eat up the pride and mend fences with your spouse whether you are wrong or right because the communication space in the union cannot be left as a vacuum. Never be too proud to forgive and even beg because the unity of your union is important to your joint success and also your individual success. Communication enhances unity and unity produces success, peace and prosperity. All of these things take conscious effort to attain; they don’t just appear in the union by chance. They are not dependent on love, although love is a catalyst in the process. In fact all these positive attributes are byproduct of unity. You can unite with a person that you don’t love, but if unity lingers long enough love will appear in the union.
To achieve and retain success as a married couple, unity between the husband and his wife is very important. Pride and ego destroys good character, and they are enemies of success. So when success comes as a result of joint effort neither the wife nor the husband should allow pride or ego to consume them. This is a vice to guide against diligently as it will spoil the good that has been achieved. May the Lord bless our homes.

2 comments:

  1. Bimboh Chekwas9 May 2016 at 13:28

    Thanks a mil for this great piece! Reading this post reminded me of the issues I had when I just got married. Ego. Thank God for the husband God gave me who patiently and intelligently humbled me. Even when I recall I feel so not proud of who I was then. Only God knows what would have become of me if I had married a different person. I was able to be the woman I am today because of the receptiveness of my heart. I want to learn, I want to be better, I love to take corrections and one of my principles in life is never to be corrected on same issue twice. I have really learnt a lot more from this post. I pray this post ministers to a lot more couples and couples to be. God bless you ma'am Derinsola Obasa. May your anointing never run dry and may your marriage keep going strong. Amen.

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    1. Amen ma. I thank God for your life madam. And I say another Amen to your prayer for me

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