Its another time again to discuss marriage issues. You can’t just imagine how glorious life can be when you are in a thriving and peaceful marriage. You might not have all the money in the world, but you have a kind of peace and joy that money can't buy.
I had promised to write my next post on the topic of sex in marriage and by the special grace of God, I will be making good that promise in this post. So I will be trusting God in this post to teach us on the use and purpose of sex in marriage. What did God have in mind when He infused sex into marriage? Is it mainly for procreation purposes or for other purposes? These are areas I am praying the Lord will through this post speak to many married couples.
In many marriages, based on human minds, sex has served as various tools in various marriages. Some couples have used sex as a unifying tool in their marriages, some have used sex as a dispute mender/settler, some have used sex as a hunting or avenging tool, some see it as an immoral and dirty thing and should not be mentioned in open space, and the unimaginable aspect of it is that some even see it as a means of inflicting punishment on their spouses. Interestingly I can go on and on highlighting the various uses to which married couples have put sex in their marriages. But in order to get things right and strengthen out some crocked line of thinking we need to understand why God decided to build in sex in the nature of man and woman in marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Proverbs 5:15-20
Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in public squares?
Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer – may her breast satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?
Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?
The book of Songs of Solomon speaks so beautifully about that love that should exist between a man and his wife. The deep love spoken of here is one that generates affection, love, warmth, protection and many more beautiful things between married couples. It is a deep love that precedes sex in marriage. It is this deep love that creates a longing between a man and his wife that makes them always want to be close to each other; it generates the chemical reaction in couples that oftentimes make them want to have sex. So from this analysis, we can conclude that sex is not dirty or an immoral act between married couples as some have grown to see it as.
Something that we need to also understand about sex is that it is a duty that must be fulfilled in marriage. Paul said that a wife does not own her body alone, but her husband is also a part-owner of the body that houses her soul and spirit. And in like manner the husband is not the sole owner of his body but that his wife is also a part-owner of that body he calls his own. So if this is the case, Paul said couples should not deprive each other access to that body that they co-own. So from here we know and understand that using sex as a tool of punishment, hurt or revenge in marriage is absolutely wrong and unacceptable by God based on what the Bible is revealing as the use of sex in marriage.
In Genesis 2:24 Adam said, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Then Malachi 2:15 stated that God has made the man and his wife one in flesh and spirit. This oneness in flesh and spirit is made manifest in the sexual activity that takes place between the man and his wife. God built in sex in marriage in order to foster oneness between the man and his wife so that the wife who was originally formed from her husband can be one again with him and they both remain one with each other for their lifetime.
So if we sum up what we have discovered from the word of God so far, we can conclude that sex in marriage is a beautiful thing that is birth from the love and affection that exist between a man and his wife. Then moving on we have also discovered that sex in marriage is a marital duty that must be fulfilled by both couples in the marriage. Based on this revelation, the man is to know that his body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife, so it will be completely wrong for a man to deprive his wife of what rightfully belongs to her which is his body. And same applies to the wife, she is to know and understand with all clarity that her body does not belong to her alone but is co-owned by her husband so it is wrong for her to deprive her husband of what rightfully belongs to him for whatever reason she may have.
Then we are also realizing that sex in marriage in God’s way of bringing about oneness in marriage in fulfilling His word that He has made the man and his wife one in flesh and spirit. These are the very wonderful and beautiful reasons why God infused sex in our marriages and not for the hurtful purposes that sex has been used for in this generation.
Quite a lot of people have questions about the kind of sex styles that are acceptable in a Christian marriage, and a lot of people have considered that some sexual activities are immoral and unacceptable. But I will say this; the important thing about sex in marriage is that the husband and wife do not deprive one another. As long as both parties enjoy the pleasure of each other’s bodies and are happy, they are not committing any sin.
Also important to note is that sex in marriage is between the man and his wife. Solomon says the husband should rejoice in the wife of his youth and may her breast satisfy him always and that he be captivated by her love always and not that of an adulteress. So sex is strictly for the man and the wife of his youth, anything outside of this is a sin.
I have been greatly blessed writing this, God has opened some truths about that very discrete topic we find hard to discuss in marriage. I pray that a lot of questions in the minds of people have been answered. In case there are still more to ask, you can please drop your questions as a comment on the blog and we will prayerfully seek God for clarification on what you need clarity on. May the Lord bless our homes.
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