Monday 20 June 2016

What Men Do In Marriage

It’s that period of the year when we celebrate fathers and every father figure in our lives and so it will be just ideal that we give the fathers a reawakening even as we celebrate them for what God is using them to do and what He desires to use them to do in our lives. So my post today is going to be for the fathers.
A lot of times we have heard women complain bitterly about having to put in their all in marriages and it appears as if the husbands have been assigned no responsibility at all in the marriage. The wife is to help the husband even when she is the one being hurt and at the receiving end of whatever the husband has to offer good or bad. She is burdened with the role of a home keeping, caring for the children, cooking for the family and even in some exceptional cases providing for the family when the father is financially down. So when you sum all these together you are tempted to wonder what the role of the man is in the home. So in today’s post we search the word of God to know what God requires of the man in marriage, who is also the husband and father.
Ephesians 5:23, 25-30
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands out to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body.
1 Timothy 3:2-4
Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.
In the scriptures above we find details of what God expects from the man in marriage. These scriptures detail out the roles and expectations of God on the man in marriage. In Ephesians 5:23 Paul says the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church his body. So the husband and wife are of one body with the husband as the head.
Figuratively speaking, we all know that on a human body, the head houses the eyes, nose, ears, mouth and also consist of some part of the skin; so to say that all the sense organs of the body reside on the head. To crown up the responsibilities of head is the fact that the brain that controls the function of the entire body reside in the head. With all of these functions residing in the head, we will understand that the head has a huge role to play for the body.
This analogy explains what role the husband has to play in any marriage. But looking at the role of the husband from the point of view of God’s instruction to the man, a husband is to love his wife in the manner in which Christ loves the church. Breaking it down to small bits, we know that Christ loves the church to the point of giving himself up for her; Christ loves the church despite the rejection and betrayal that the church rewards him with; Christ loves the church and as such instructs and trains her; Christ loves the church and protects her from evil and harm; Christ loves the church and fights her battles for her; Christ loves the church and is advocating for her before the Father in heaven continually. The love of Christ for the church is so strong that it cannot be comprehended, quantified, understood. It is the height of unconditional love. This strong unconditional love is what God demands and requires of the husband to his wife. Despite all the shortfalls in the life of a wife, the Lord still demands that her husband loves her unconditionally in the manner with which Christ loves the church.
This unconditional love of a husband to his wife will enable him sacrifice all for his wife just as Christ did for the church. It will move him to protect and care for her just as his own body. This same unconditional love will cause the husband to defend his wife and fight for her come what may. A man who loves his wife as God has instructed him to will not watch his wife overwork herself just to be his wife while he sits idle playing boss. Jesus didn’t just sit as the head and issue commands and send his disciples on errands while he sat and did nothing, but rather Jesus lead by example. He taught His disciples the servant leader approach of leadership. It was a leadership of “do as I do,” and not just “do as I say.” And that is the manner of leadership and headship that God demands from the husband to his wife.
The late Myles Munroe once said that God did not give the men heavy muscles and huge biceps so they can play bullies to their wives and beat her to obedience, but rather they have those huge muscles as a tool to protect, defend and fight for their family. I cannot agree more to that saying. The men have been built so by God to be a shield over those whom the Lord has kept under their care. The man is not built with muscles to bully his wife and enforce lordship over his family, but rather a father who is a servant leader in the manner with which Christ loved and led the church will lead his family by example. He will earn the love and respect of his wife and children by the way and manner in which he loves and sacrifice for them, training them in the way and manner of the Lord. He is a firm yet loving father.
A husband who has the deep unconditional love like that of Christ for his wife will be a husband who will take the pains to provide for his family at all cost. He will be a husband who eagerly directs his household in a right and godly manner. These are the things men do and always have to do in marriage. So when a wife is required to do so much in marriage, the husbands are required to do even more.
When the wives are doing so much for the success of their marriage and the husbands are doing even more for the success of the same marriage, then it is impossible for that marriage to fail. Any storm that attempts to steal the joy of such marriage is only proceeding on a venture that has failed even before it started. So wives don’t feel God is unfair by requiring so much from you because in truth He requires even more from your husbands.
In closing I wish all the husbands/fathers meeting up with God’s requirement on their lives for their marriages and homes a Happy Father’s Day. May the good Lord uphold and strengthen you for the task before you in Jesus name.


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