I can’t tell if it’s just a coincidence, or probably the Lord is opening up our hearts to the decay in our world and the grieve He feels as our God. Even as Christians who claim to know and profess God, we are not acting differently from those who don’t claim to be born-again Christians. I belong to a handful of women groups on Facebook, say about 4 of them and I always take kin interest not just in the issues posted on these groups but also on the comments shared by the countless commentators on the issue.
One major topic that surfaces most on almost all of these social media groups is abuse in marriage. For every one post shared on a successful marital experience, there will be almost 8-10 shared on abuse in marriage. The ratio between successful and unsuccessful marriage is almost 1:10 based on my own observation; and then you wonder why people are still getting married every day when all that is in it is bad and evil all the time. You then ask yourself how God feels about this ratio concerning an institution he created and ordained to bring ease to the man and woman He created. If I feel this bad about what I read daily on social media platforms with regards to marriage, then I wonder how God feels about it.
In the course of this week I pray the Lord will give us His word, and help us reach a lot of people; defining to them the truth of marriage, the laws of marriage and the seed that needs to be sown in marriage for us to be able to reap a harvest of peace, love and joy in a marriage.
For every issue raised concerning any form of misunderstanding in marriage, no matter how minute that disagreement was as long as the owner of the issue is careless enough to share it on the these group platforms the comments that follows are almost always “leave before its too late” and for some when they come on to share that they quickly walked out the marriage before things got worse, you will read comments like “I am happy for you for taking the bold step of walking out of their marriages; walking out of the duty post that God assigned for them; doing what God says He hates and yet they are being congratulated.” We aren’t talking about courtship here; we are talking of people who are duly and legally married. And you will have up to 5000 comments in some cases, 80% of which are applauding negativity in marriage and among these 5000 commentators are Christians, Muslims, freelancers, Idol-worshippers, Pagans and so on. And do you still wonder why the world we are now is as evil as it is?
Getting to the roots of this decay is gross rebellion against God and His words. We claim to know God but act, speak and think contrary to His words and instructions for our lives. We quote bogus Bible verses yet we don't apply them in our inner being. We are diligent church workers, missionaries in the field working for God, pastors and leaders in God’s vine yard, yet we know nothing about submission to your husband. Yet Jesus said if you have failed in one law, you have failed in all.
Some women are so diligent for God that wearing make-up and wearing female trousers is a sin as far as they are concerned. They are even against the use of hair extensions or nail polishing, yet submission and reverence to their husbands is not what they want to hear. That command from God is not practicable in their world and worse even if their husbands and not yet born-again or as spiritual as they are. For some they abstain from earrings and all forms of jewelry, yet they disdain their husbands from the depth of their hearts. A woman will encourage another woman that once your husband slaps you once you better carry your bag and leave the marriage before he makes it a habit. Forgetting that against all odds, the woman that you have asked to leave her marriage is actually leaving her primary duty post in her assignment for God for which she will give account to God on her performance. Forgetting also that with prayers and right attitude her husband will not make the mistake of being violent to her and yet she does not have to leave her marriage for which she is accountable to God.
Now, have you bothered to ask that lady why her husband hit her? We all don’t face the truth of the matter. If you expect the husband to be civil and matured enough to keep a check on his temper, why can’t we expect the wife to be civil and matured enough to keep her tongue tamed and submit to her husband as unto the Lord. In truth what we will and hear is the husband who beats his wife, but what we should see is a wife whose untamed tongue and bad attitude has dealt her beating through her husband.
If a man is not high on drugs and he is not under the influence of alcohol, I am finding it hard to comprehend a husband waking up in the morning and the first thing he’ll do is hit his wife for no reason. There must have been some form of conversation that must have led to an argument the eventually turns to violence. In as much as I hate a violent man and I won’t excuse their bad habit, but everything in life is cause and effect. When there is violence in a marriage the first thing is to understand the cause of the violence. Something originated it and that thing should be identified and removed. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured, but there are seeds to sow in marriage that will yield a harvest of joy and enjoyment for you. It is not an automatic occurrence no matter the level and degree of chemistry between you and your spouse. Just as a woman can retain and sustain her husband’s love for her through good attitude, submission and reverence for her husband and prayers, so also can she lose her husband’s love for her through negligence and bad attitude.
For the so many commentators on social media who applaud evil and encourage disobedience to God instructions, do you bother to ask the owner of the problem about the quality and quantity of her investment in her marriage for it to yield negative results for her. We sow seeds, but God makes them grow and produce fruits for us; but in truth we can’t deceive God, it’s what you sow you reap. When you aren’t reaping the desired result in your marriage, check the quality of your seed. No matter how many times you change spouses, if you don’t change your seed you can’t reap the fruits of a successful marriage.
And for the many issue owners, I will lend my words here. Many people will give you counsel, but against all counsel good or bad, the word of God will stand sure. You can be advised right or wrong, but ultimately the decision is yours. When you decide wrong you alone will face the consequences of your decision. You can’t give God the excuse of wrong advice as a reason for failing Him. When you have issues in your marriage, rather than leave the marriage or run to men for help and social media's faceless entities for advice, please run to God. He is just as real and practical as the wrong advisers you have on social media and everywhere around you.