It’s been a long while and I feel so bad that I have abandoned the writing of the marriage blog for the pursuit of so many other things. It’s been a big distraction trying to combine business with blogging, but today I pray for the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ not to abandon His assignment on my life knowing that meeting my needs are His priority. And without so much story again, I want us to just dive straight back into the marriage discussion.
When I get to talk to wives, I have had to tell them that the way out of a messy marriage situation is quite different from what or how they think it to be. Most wives who have husbands that are not taking up their husbandly responsibilities right, have resorted to prayers and when prayers seem not to be working, they have resolved to either abandoning the marriage and going for a separation or enduring the miserable situation as it is. And shocking but true, some die trying to patch a terrible marriage in the best way they know how.
But one thing I love about God is that when we pray, He tells us what to do about what we have prayed about and when we do it as He has instructed, we see results that we desire. Based on my relationship with God and how He has helped me out of my messy marriage situation without having to get a divorce or a separation, still married to the same husband, is that I learned to not just pray, but also to listen to God for a sense of direction.
Prayer as we should know, is a dialog between the one who is praying and the God he/she is praying to. Prayer should not be a monolog whereby you just talk, and then stand up and go. When you pray, you should expect a response from the One you have prayed to and a response is not just in miraculously seeing a transformation of the situation you have prayed about, but a response in knowing what God (whom you have prayed to) would have you do in order for the situation you have prayed about to change.
The Bible says prayers without deed is dead. And so, with a few wives who have discussed their marriage situations with, I have asked a handful of them what they have done to help the situation their marriage and what most of them have responded with is that they have prayed. And then I ask the question when you prayed, what did God tell you to do? At the point, the response I get is that well I didn’t hear God tell me to do anything.
The truth is that it wasn’t God who didn’t speak of a way of escape, it was us who didn’t listen or are not willing to listen to what God is telling us to do. And in most cases, what we might be hearing in our spirit being might be far from what we expect or desire as a response and so we tell ourselves we can’t go that route. And then we accuse God of not answering our prayers because all we want is to wake up one morning and see a brand-new person in the spouse we are complaining and praying about without any input from us.
It’s just like praying about your terrible financial situation and expecting to wake up one morning and meet a million dollar in your account without working for it just because you prayed. I am sure you will agree with me that, that is an impossibility. When I had my own terrible marriage experience, I must confess it was heart-wrenching, and to say that I prayed is to say the list. I went for all manners of deliverance and counseling and still, nothing changed. And then I just resolved to look for the solution to my problems within the pages of the Bible and from therein God began to speak to me. I was so desperate for a solution that I was willing to obey anything He tells me to do. And He told me to do the oddest thing that I could possibly hear God give as instruction back then. He told me to submit to my husband.
At that time, I had considered my husband the devil while I was the saint. But with strength and grace from God, I obeyed, even though it was tough and difficult. With time and help from the Spirit of God obedience became easy and then God began to use my obedience to bring about a glorious change in the life of my husband. And today I am enjoying the time of my life with the man of my life and in the marriage of my life. My marriage is just so sweet and glorious.I have mentioned my own case repeatedly on my blog articles and I can’t just say it enough. Now, what are you willing to add to your prayers to make your marriage the beauty that you desire it to be? What is that thing that God is telling you to either put in or take away from your life to make your marriage what you so desire it to be? In truth, if you want a change from the status quo, the first thing to do is to look into the mirror and begin the change with who you see as the reflection in the mirror. That change that you so long for in your marriage begins with you.