Who Should Help Who

I am trying to trust God for solutions to possible grey areas in marriages. You know those things that are most likely to cause problems in marriages and I pray that the Lord will help us with lasting solutions to these issues. One of the issues that come to mind is finances.

Based on my interactions with wives, most especially the ones who are struggling with their marriages I have heard one common utterance, and that is “he doesn’t give me money.” But before I discuss these, I pray that you give me your open heart and understand this very carefully. It is true that we read in 1 Timothy 5:8 that anyone who does not provide for his own, especially those of his household, he is worse than an unbeliever, but just now I am noticing that what the Bible says is anyone and not man. So, unlike what we are used to referring to as man when we refer to this scripture, it is actually anyone. Now anyone can be a man or a woman.

But where I want to consider this from is the role of a man in the home as the head of the home. If a man truly is the head of the home, then he should be the head in making provisions for the needs of his family. There is no point being a half-baked head of the home or be head of the family just by mouth. But that titles comes with huge responsibilities. And making sure that the family is well taken care of is the big responsibility of the head of the family, the husband.

Then we read in Proverbs 31 of the wife of noble character. A wife who is an entrepreneur, one who is hardworking and earns income and with her income provides for the needs of the family. And so, a wife is designed by God to also be the financial support of her husband. So, if we begin to look at this topic holistically, we will find that even though the husband as the head of the home is the principal provider for his family, the wife who is his suitable helper is also a suitable helper in providing for the financial needs of their family.

Now with this fact established, I want to speak to the wives, and my first point of encouragement is that wives should not live their lives being dependent on their husbands, most especially when it comes to the issue of finances. A woman should not depend on her husband for strength, she should be able to build her strength from God and with that strength, she will be a suitable helper to her husband. If God has made you are helper, then you should understand that you cannot depend on the one you are assigned to help for strength and help. Your strength should be from a bigger and more powerful source which is God and then direct that strength to your home including your husband whom you are assigned to help.  You should not wait for the one whom you are assigned to help to be the one helping you.

Now the next question that arises is: Is Derin now saying the wife should take up the responsibility of financially providing for the home? Now, I need us to understand that the wife is not the principal/primary provider, but she provides for her home in the capacity of a suitable helper to her husband as assigned to her by God. When the husband is fulling his responsibility as the primary provider and the wife is fulfilling her responsibility as a suitable helper even in the issue of financial provisions then the home is secured against financial lack or drought. This is God’s mindset for our homes. This is His plan for our homes.