Give Her Wings and Let Her Fly

I facilitated a marriage seminar sometime back, and I was to speak alongside another male speaker so we could have a holistic view and presentation about marriage to our audience. It was at that seminar that I had a better understanding of the social anatomy of a man. From what the male speaker taught us, men are wired to be driven by achievements, and the narrative tagged “You have to be a man” erodes the emotional side of a man, which is growing to become a great dysfunction in the male gender. This was what I learned from the seminar, and my big takeaway from that program, after giving it deep thought, is that it looks more true than false.

If this is true, then the husbands who are driven by achievements and have been well baptized into the “You have to be a man” narrative see competition in everything, including their relationships with their wives. So, for such men, they will do everything to be a man in the home, which includes submerging their wives under them. "They must achieve far more than their wives" will be their driving force, and any sign of their wives achieving anything they perceive to be beyond their own achievement or at par with their own achievements will be resisted by them, and even though they do not say it out, they think about it and attempt to distort such growth.

Some men who lack maturity have given reasons such as their wives becoming non-submissive to them when she becomes successful in life as a reason for preventing her from becoming successful in the first instance. But why die before death comes? Why not let her become successful first before making a judgment?

I agree that some women get uncontrollable in their marriages once they become successful, but that is an issue that God can adequately take care of when you hand over the situation to Him. He is the giver of success anyway, so what is beyond Him? He disciplines and chastises as He deems fit. He is God. As a husband, do you pray? And do you trust God to answer when you pray? Have you developed your listening ear to hear from God? If your answer to all these questions is Yes, then give your wives wings and let them fly and go the extra mile by being the wind beneath their wings.

Your wife’s success is your backup plan. It is your fallback option when things go wrong because she is God’s assigned helper for your life. In Genesis 2:18-30, we see that God created your wife for you as your suitable helper. Proverbs 18:22 shows us that “he who finds a wife finds what is good and obtains favor from God,” and so your wife is the container that carries God’s favor for your life. When the container of your favor is full, you are an all-around blessed man. Do not destroy your support base just because you lack understanding. Do not imbibe a destructive mentality and inhibit the growth of your support base because you think your base will be bigger than you. No matter how big your base is, it will forever remain your support base.

 

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