I had planned to give up on the marriage blog, first and foremost because of the time constraint that I was beginning to suffer from, and also because the pageviews for the marriage blog was beginning to dwindle and I just assumed that people are beginning to outgrow what is shared on the blog. But a purpose will always remain a purpose and because of the joy I feel knowing that lives and marriages are been impacted by what is shared on the blog even if it's just a few people still reading it, it's still worth my resolve that it’s not a wise decision to just give it up. I sincerely seek the grace of God to help me continue and remain consistent in this assignment amidst the so many important things needing attention in my life.
Quite a lot of issues have come to mind that requires discussing on the marriage blog regarding issues of marriage. I was speaking to a young friend of mine who is yet to marry and she told me that "Aunty, you need to understand that men of your generation are quite different from the men of our generation," and that the men of their generation are such that they are quite complacent with doing nothing while they allow their wives to carry the bulk of the marital load.
I am in my mid-forties, while she is in her early thirties and I cannot agree or disagree with her point of view, but that reminds me of a speaking engagement I was invited to sometime in 2018. It was supposed to be the married men anniversary of a church and they were having a couple’s session and I was invited to come to speak to the couples from a woman’s perspective (those in attendance at that meeting were not of the young generation, they were mostly in their 40s, 50s, and even 60s). During the question and answer part of the program, I was asked by a wife that what should a wife who was supposed to submit to her husband in everything do if the husband would not pick up the bills in the home and take up his rightful leadership position even in financial matters simply because he knows his wife is working and is capable of paying the bills in the house?
I answered the question at the meeting and would want to share the answer again in today’s blog. A man by God’s calling on his life is the head of the home and the leader in all things including being the leader in carrying the financial responsibility of the home. If a man is unable to fulfill this role of a leader in the home then such a man needs help, and because the wife is his suitable helper, she is the one assigned by God to help him up. But helping your husband in this regard does not mean taking up the responsibility that God has given him as your own and doing for him what he is supposed to be doing as the head of the home.
The help required from the wife primarily is to pray the glory of God down on her husband such that everything he lays his hands upon to do he will begin to prosper in it. That is the time to learn to encourage your husband with words that will make him understand that his situation is only temporary and with God all things are possible. Words have life in them and when you speak the right words into the life of your husband in prayers and encouragement then life comes into his situation and dry bones will come alive for him again.
Now imagine being the wife of the richest man on earth. Precisely whatever income you earn as a wife to a very wealthy man is totally insignificant to your husband because he has more than enough to bother about what you earn. So the secret to your ultimate peace of mind in marriage when it comes to financial matters is that as a wife you pray always and never stop praying that God will make your husband so wealthy that what you earn, big as it may seem to you, becomes totally insignificant to him. Remember the fervent prayer of the righteous avails much.
Far more than your income can solve in this matter, your prayers in truth and with love and sincerity can solve much more. So, get on your knees and begin to call the changes you want to see in your marriage into existence. God is still in the business of answering prayers.
Here is an eBook from me titled God's Rules of Engagement in Marriage. You can get a copy of it from my online book store by clicking here.