Submission does not translate to suppression

Some husbands are handfuls in character. And if the man is already distracted by the presence of another woman in his life, who is competing for his attention alongside his wife, then it's another ball game entirely. This is not a general rule, but prayerfully, it is a viable strategy in marriage — a woman (wife included) is supposed to be sought after and not the other way round.

As a wife, you are supposed to love your husband, care for him, respect him, and revere him, but don’t be his foot mat. It is also important to note, as a wife, that your value is not derived from your husband or an external entity, but from you and your God. Even with your husband, the portion of value you place on yourself is the value your husband would place on you.

It is true that in marriage, you die to self, and as wives, we often sacrifice a lot of ourselves for the good of the home (and that is precisely what I do). But in doing so, you need to reserve a portion of self-respect and self-esteem for yourself. You need to position yourself in a way that your husband will be continually seeking after you, no matter how old the marriage is, and not the other way round.  

This is not to say that you should switch roles with your husband and become the breadwinner, thinking you can earn his respect with money. But this is a strategy that you will need to pray to God to help you develop and implement appropriately. You will need to build your value in areas of your life that will earn the respect and admiration of your husband the most. That type of value add will only come from God.

I speak of God in this matter because doing this by yourself might lead to burnout and frustration, especially if your husband is distracted already, and there is someone somewhere that he is unintentionally comparing you with. If your husband complains about your dressing today, and you go all out to change your entire wardrobe, you can be most certain that it will be your hair tomorrow, and your shoes the day after, and then your fingers a few weeks after. Bottom line, he will always have something about you that is not enough.

The more you strive to please him, the more he changes the goal post to switch demands. Over time, you will get frustrated, and guess what, it will be your fault. Some spouses are perfectionists at gaslighting. And I use spouses because it's not just the husbands who gaslight.

With God in your marriage, you can never get it wrong. If you are the kind who solely depends on God and not on your own understanding, you can be very sure that even in dealing with your spouse, he will give you the perfect strategy for every event in every second of your marriage. Even when you quarrel with your spouse, He will show you how to iron things out without love diminishing in your marriage. If you get Him involved.

But your intimacy with God is not a gateway to insubordination in your marriage. That you get your strategy from God is not an excuse to throw submission in marriage into the trash can. God is not an author of confusion, and He won’t give you a strategy that will go against His word. If your approach is contrary to the truth of the Bible, that strategy is not from God.

Whatever strategy the Lord gives you as a tool in building your marriage, while not losing your personal value or self-esteem, does not include a lack of submission or disrespect for your husband as the God ordained head over your life. In all things, God will not author confusion in your marriage and will never contradict Himself.

There are wives who, by virtue of their spirituality, have over-valued themselves and concluded that submitting to an unbelieving husband is not what God is talking about in Ephesians 5:22, or Colossians 3:18, or 1Peter 3:1. When God gave His command to submit, He did not give us the category of husbands to submit to and those not to submit to. As long as the man is your husband, God's command to you is to submit to him.

Some husbands have concluded that their wives are stubborn. This so-called stubbornness has been the root of fights and quarrels in marriages. These husbands feel so belittled by their wives simply because she thinks she knows more than they do, and would only do what she wants to do, not what the husband tells her to. In her world, that command from her husband makes no sense. She would conclude that she had prayed, and God told her to do it some other day.

Well, it was not God that told you to disobey your husband. You did that on your own instinct. God will not tell us in His word to submit to our husbands and then tell you singularly in your spirit to disobey your own husband. That is why 1John 4:1 encourages us to test all spirits. Is that spirit speaking to you from God?

Some husbands lose love for their wives and become hostile simply because of the wife's disobedience. If God calls for submission, then He wants a total submission. Even when your husband’s instruction does not make sense to you, pray and ask God for His leading. He will handle the situation so that you won’t disobey your husband, and the issue will be resolved with you still in submission.

Let me share a true-life story as an illustration of what I am talking about. A couple had two children, ages 4 and 2 years old. The economic situation at hand could not afford them having more children, but the wife got pregnant, and all hell broke loose. The husband was distraught and demanded that the wife terminate the pregnancy immediately.

The wife is a born-again Christian and knew that an abortion meant murder. She was not going to do it, but guess what, she must submit to her husband as unto God. She was dragging the matter, and a strain began to build between them. The husband will not speak to her for days and treats her like complete rubbish. It was as though she impregnated herself. 

She took the matter to God and began to pray. She would cry to God for strength and strategy on how to handle it. She eventually called their family doctor, who refused to carry out the abortion. He offered to speak to the husband and told him to allow the wife to have this one child, and afterwards, to do proper birth control. But he refused and insisted that the pregnancy be terminated.

Over time, the Lord spoke to the wife while she was praying. He gave her the strategy that solved the problem. She was to agree to the husband’s demands on condition that he would be in the theatre and oversee the abortion as it was done. The wife said that since she would be put to sleep, the husband needed to be there to ensure nothing was taken out of her body wrongfully.

To this condition, the husband declined. He could not stay there and watch the abortion being done. So, the wife also said she was not ready to die; if the husband would not wait to watch the abortion being done, and she would not be conscious to see what would be done, and the doctor she felt safe with had declined doing the abortion, then she was left with no choice but to carry the baby.

The husband had no choice but to accept. The matter was settled, and the wife carried the pregnancy to term and delivered their third child. But the beautiful twist to this story is that while the wife was about 7 months gone in the pregnancy, the husband saw a job advert in the newspapers. He applied for the job and gave the application to his wife to help him post at the post office.

She took the application, prayed over it, and posted it. A couple of weeks later, the husband was called for an interview. After a series of interviews and negotiations, he was called to come pick up his offer of employment letter. At the same time, his wife was in labor, ready to deliver their child, whom he had earlier insisted should be terminated. The child brought good fortune for his father.

One lesson I want us to take away from this true-life story is that the wife never insisted on disobeying her husband. She knew what he asked her to do was wrong, but she deferred to God instead. She showed obedience by approaching their family doctor, but all the while, she didn’t stop praying.

Genesis 20 shares a similar story, where Abraham asked his wife Sarah to lie that she was his sister to avoid death. It was a useless instruction that made no sense, but guess what, Sarah obeyed. She was taken away by Abimelech, the king, to be his wife, until God intervened.

As a wife, you will build your marriage on the bedrock of God’s instruction for you, and you will have a beautiful marriage. Anything short of God, obeying His word and holding unto Him, is not guaranteed in marriage. 2 Corinthians 10:6 tells us that God is ready to punish every disobedience in our lives when our obedience is complete. The catch there is that your own obedience needs to be complete first before every disobedience against you is dealt with.

In conclusion, two things we need to take away from this blog post: first, that as a wife, you need to find your value outside of your husband, but within yourself in God. God is and should always be your source of strength, and the source of your value-building strategy needs to come from God alone. And the second is that your growth is not a ticket for your insubordination and lack of respect for your husband. With God, you can build the best home and anchor a thriving marriage without losing yourself in achieving that. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools. 

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

What Can Happen When God Says No

Sometimes, praying and receiving from God requires a waiting season. This is a time when anxiety builds up and faith is tested. There is always a sense of urgency that makes it look like something crazy will happen if God does not come through. But in the waiting season, days may turn to weeks, and then to months, and then to years. And still, nothing changes, and the world is still oval, or should I say it is still circular in shape (whatever the scientist had said it is).

But there is another dimension to prayer and receiving from God that I believe is also familiar. That is when you have prayed and believed and exercised great faith, and God says NO to your prayers. Yet His thoughts towards you are not evil, but peace to give you a future and hope. So, in today’s blog, we will discuss what happens when God says NO to your prayers.

Some years back, my husband was eyeing a position in the company where he works. As far as he was concerned, he was a perfect fit for the job role. As a matter of fact, his boss had mentioned to him that he was being considered for the role, and he needed to prepare for an interview, as that was a placement policy in his organization. There was no handpicking into job roles allowed.

We prayed together. I sharpened my faith, and we believed God for the best. He also prepared for the interview and gave it his best shot. By the time he did the interview, he was confident he had gotten the job because everything went well. The feedback he got from those who interviewed him was great. And then the wait began.

What we thought would happen in days turned to weeks, and then to months. After about four months of waiting, his boss called him to say that he wouldn’t be getting the role. The boss of his boss refused to approve the role for him, saying that he didn’t have the required exposure for the job.

He was given another role (not precisely what he wanted, which we had prayed and agreed on), but the situation at hand left him no choice but to accept it. Matthew 18:19 tells us that “if two agree concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by our Father in heaven.” This one request was one of those things that my husband and I prayed in agreement for, for four months, yet God declined that request. Or so we thought.

The new role he was given was not in our home country. It required that he relocate to take the job, and, by company policy, it meant that the entire family relocate too. That felt like some respite of some sort. It was not what we wanted, but it wasn’t a complete NO. I gave thanks even in that. Strangely, I wasn’t disappointed. It still proves a ground for gratitude, and I praised God as if I had received the answer that I wanted.

And then he moved first to start the job and the children, and I had to wait another year and two months to be able to join him. It was a very challenging time in our marriage. But in the middle of it, I found the strength to be grateful — the grace to thank God even when I didn’t fully understand what was going on or why we had to go through what we were going through.

I never stopped praying, and I never stopped praising God. You would want to ask me what I was praising God for if He didn’t give me what I wanted, and didn’t prove the efficacy of His own words. But Jesus is all I know. He has done a lot for me in my portfolio of testimonies, so this particular NO was not big enough for me to be ungrateful for. More so, my pursuit is to make heaven, and I know that praise and worship are all they do in heaven, so I'd better cultivate that habit here on earth, too.

About 8 months into my waiting, that is, after my husband left to start his new job, he got an email relating to an immigration enrollment we had put in for 23 months before then. We put in our expression of interest, and nothing happened. We re-enrolled after 12 months, and this was the 11^th month after we re-enrolled. Personally, I had given up on that enrollment. That was another prayer point for my husband and I that I felt God was silent about, but also didn’t feel it was big enough to stop my worship.

The email came, and we were asked to submit our documents for a complete application. Six months after putting in our immigration application, we were able to get our immigration documents to join my husband in the country where he was working. The wait was over, and my steadfastness felt like it paid off. For me, it was like getting two blessings for a single wait.

But if God had stopped at this point, I would have been too blessed because I felt grateful, I felt heard. For me, it was worth the wait. But God didn’t stop there; He continued to show up. Four months into a relocation, we got another email from the country we had applied to in North America. Our application had been approved, and we were to proceed to the next stage of the process. We put our documents together again and submitted them.

Four months later, we got our immigration papers to move to North America, barely 8 months after joining my husband in Europe. We stayed for a couple of more months in Europe on our own decision before moving to North America. But if God had stopped there, I would have been super blessed and graciously grateful. But He didn’t. He continued to show up.

We decided that my husband could not leave his job yet till he got a job similar to what he had. I wasn’t working, and so we could not afford to have both of us unemployed. We went back to praying and trusting God. It was another moment of bringing to life Matthew 18:19. He applied to a couple of places and did a series of interviews, and nothing happened. I didn’t know when or how God would show up, but I was convinced He would.

After settling the children and I in North America, my husband went back to Europe to continue working. It was another time of separation. But your girl held it down with God. If He had held us this far, He will not leave us now. And surely God came through.

Three weeks after my husband returned to Europe, the boss of his boss, who had declined to approve him for the role he wanted three years before then, came visiting the plant where he worked in Europe. This senior boss was on a global tour of their company's facilities. He met my husband in person for the very first time, and they exchanged pleasantries. He mentioned that he had overheard that my husband was planning to resign. Hubby confirmed his plans and said he needed to be close to his family, who now live in North America.

They left it at that, and he wished my husband the best of luck. By the next day, my husband got an email from a regional HR Director saying the company was not willing to let him go, and if his only reason for leaving was to be close to his family, they would find a job for him in North America that would cater to that. That was on the instructions of the senior boss, who had initially declined to approve him for a job he had wanted in Africa.

The same senior boss nominated my husband for the exact job role he was praying for in Africa three years ago and ensured he got it, but now not in Africa, but in North America. Within 3 days, my husband got an offer he could not refuse. It came with a promotion. But good as this sounded, God did not stop there. But I will stop here for now.

I started this story from the point where we were praying, and God did nothing. As a matter of fact, He gave a subtle NO. At that time, it was painful that we didn’t get what we wanted. We didn’t know what He was up to, and it was as though God was cruel. But we learned to thank Him anyway. I didn’t know where it would end, but I trusted the One who was leading the way.

This write-up is just an abridged summary of what the waiting period was like. It was characterized by pain, doubt, suffering, and frustration. But while I was passing through my valley of the shadow of death, God's rod and staff were there to comfort me.

When I needed money, He provided a job for me that paid me six figures monthly, without me applying for the job or a referral coming from anywhere. Just someone who never knew me, looking me up on LinkedIn and offering me a job just like that. And I had not worked for seventeen years before that time.

His NO to my husband and I was not because He stopped being God, or His love for us failed. He was actually preparing a table before us. He took from us what we thought was the best option to give us what was a far better option than our own best. The devil tried his best to create doubt, but God’s love always shows up exactly when we need it.

In three and a half years, I have lived legally and legitimately in three countries, on three different continents, and He is still not done with me yet. I am no more special to God than you. The grace that He showed me in my waiting period is so very much available for you. The grace of God is like a river that never runs dry. The container of faith that you go to that river with determines the quantity of grace that you will carry.

We will all have our refining process with God, unless you are not like gold in His hands. As long as you are precious to God, He will continue to refine you until you shine like He wants you to, and you become all that He has called you to be.

If you are a child of God, do not despise His process; never complain on the training ground. The present suffering is nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed in you, and the entire creation awaits your manifestation.

Just imagined if I had fallen along the way. Imagine if I had cursed God, imagine if I had called Him a liar, I would not have the grace to enjoy what I have today, let alone share it with you. The process may be painful, Romans 8:18 acknowledges that truth when Paul called it suffering. But that suffering is a fraction of the glory that will be revealed in you.

A lot of people see me and call me lucky. I am not lucky; I am just the evidence of God’s goodness and grace. I am the evidence that God does not fail those who wait on Him and trust Him. When you read this piece, be very sure that your NO is not the final verdict. If He says NO today, it’s because something better truly awaits you. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

Fighting Depression Might Be About Showing Up Against All Odds

I woke up this morning feeling heavy and depressed. The weight of what feels like stagnancy and a long wait in the corridor of breakthrough fell on me this morning, and though this might not feel like a good time to share a blog post. This is a perfect time for me to show up.

I am one person who has experienced and enjoyed the goodness of God without measure. I have won so many battles that I didn’t even have to fight. I have experienced open doors without lifting a finger. I am one person that you would look at and feel that she doesn’t even have a care in the world. But honestly, my heart feels heavy a handful of times—a child of God who has mastered the act of being joyful in little and thankful in much.

Honestly, though, those who would say that I have no care in the world are not totally wrong. It’s just that, that is not the whole story. The devil still visits now and then, and this morning is one of such times that he decided to show up. Unfortunately for him, I have been trusting God on what to share next on the blog, so he has given me what to write on.

Isaiah 49:16 tells me that I am inscribed on the palm of God’s hands, and my walls are continually before Him. In verse 15, He says He will not forget me. But still, under His watchful eyes, the devil will show up to trouble the waters of my peace. If God permitted him, it’s because it’s a valuable event in God's plan for my life.

Psalms 23:4 tells us that even when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil because the rod and staff of God comforts us. So, we will find ourselves in places, situations, and challenges that will look like the valley of the shadow of death. But in the midst of that, God is there to comfort us and hold us through it.

True to the scripture above, let me continue with my experience this morning that lasted for a couple of hours. While I was praying, crying, and pouring my heart out to God, I picked up my phone (I am almost saying I am addicted to that tool), opened YouTube, and the first thing that stared me in the face is a YouTube Short of a lady that though I am not following, I stumble on her YouTube Shorts at least 5-6 times a day. And her words always hit me like God was using her to speak to me.

So, this morning I saw her Shorts again. For the whole minute and more of what she said, it was as though she could see through me, know exactly what I was going through, and was telling me to snap out of it. Her words were direct and precise for me. You probably would think that will make me jump out of bed in confidence. But it didn’t. I lay on that bed, cried some more, felt her words soak into my spirit, and I worshipped God.

That was when I realised God had answered my prayers and given me a word to share on the blog today. The next thing I did after that was to get out of bed, take my bath, put on my EarPods, and I began my proper morning worship. I had an agreement with God that August would be my month of dancing. I would spend between 30minutes to an hour of my morning in worship.

In the place of worship, strategies began to drop in my spirit. Ideas of growth began to well up inside of me. I began to develop a blueprint of what to do next. The purpose of the wait and the things to do in the waiting room corridor were beginning to get clearer. God was speaking while I was worshipping.

I feel a lot better now, and I have no one but God to thank for that. I have not sought counsel from anyone up to this moment. I have not shared my experience with anyone. I am sharing it first on this blog post, but I feel great again. As always, God came through. Indeed, His rod and staff comforted me. He gave me the right word at the exact right moment. That lady created that YouTube Shorts for me for today.

God knew today would happen even before it happened. He had given His word through His servant ahead of time, and because he orders my steps, He pointed me to the place to receive what He had prepared for me ahead of time. He is truly my very present help in time of trouble.

No matter the challenge I experience, and even in very good times, my default mode is gratitude. Praise and worship for me have become a weapon. I am genuinely grateful for those worship ministers that God has placed on the earth. I own their songs in my spirit, and when I don’t have any prayer to speak out, their songs become my prayer. Their lyrics become a heavenly voice in my spirit—the assurance of God’s goodness and grace in my life.

And believe me, those lyrics have fetched me countless victories. They have pulled down many Jericho walls in my life and broken countless chains. Worship is more than singing and dancing; it is for me the acknowledgement of God in my space—the evidence of His goodness, the display of His splendor, and the truth of His power. And again, this morning worship did not do less for me. It revived my confidence in God.

Depression is real. The devil throws it at us now and then, like a thunderbolt. For some, it sinks in deep, and they never recover. The interesting thing is that sometimes you don’t even see it coming. A little overthinking of an issue, and depression slips into your spirit. For days unknown, you need to ensure that you remain in the hollow of God’s hands.

The presence of God in your life and the abundance of the Holy Spirit in your life are not just for fun; it’s for a time and season when the devil comes knocking. This knocking does not come preannounced. But when God is the strength of your life, you can be sure that the door of your life will not be opened to satan.

A lady that I don’t know, I have never met, and might never meet, was the vessel God used in speaking to me this morning. I share my story, and I pray that God uses it to meet a need in your life, too, in Jesus’ name.

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

When your spouse cheats, what will be your response? Here is my insight.

Prefer to listen instead of read? Click here to enjoy the audio version of today’s post before diving in.

A handful of divorces in marriages happen as a result of infidelity, and to the dismay of the devil, I will not stop writing about it. Even if I know what my approach will be, I want to ask a question on the best way to solve the problem of unfaithfulness in marriage. Would it be to forgive and repair or to take a walk and divorce? And so, we will take each of the two options and analyze them in a very practical manner.

First, we will consider the option of taking a walk and going the way of a divorce, most especially considering the fact that a lot of people find it very hard to live with the thought of infidelity in their marriage. That is a huge issue that can’t just be swept under the carpet as though it doesn’t hurt. It’s like stabbing at the back by someone you have loved with all of your heart and dedicated quality time and quality part of your life and emotions to. So, if I am allowed to reason with those who feel pained by the betrayal of a cheating spouse, I would, with every sense of sincerity and honesty, say that I feel their pain and understand clearly what it means to be in that position.

As a matter of fact, that is the only acceptable reason for a divorce according to Jesus in Matthew 19:9. So I can say that even God recognizes the pain that infidelity and adultery cause in marriage. But can divorce solve the problem? Will taking a walk and getting a divorce kill the pain that has been caused by adultery in marriage? 

And I say this confidently that even though it might soothe the pain for a while (if ever it does, because I have never experienced a divorce), will it alleviate the pain forever? Will it affect the children produced in the marriage positively? And looking at the whole picture, is it better to get a divorce or to remain married? With divorce also comes the pain of divorce itself. It's like a complete loss of a loved one, first to cheating and then to divorce. 

Before we proceed to the second option, I want to draw our attention to the one thing we miss about divorce in the Bible. Even though Jesus cited the case of infidelity as an acceptable reason for a divorce, Paul finished it off in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 that a wife is not to divorce her husband. If she does, she should remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband, and a husband is not to divorce his wife. 

So, we have the whole picture of the divorce situation from God's perspective. Paul says he is not the one issuing the command but the Lord. But note that I am not in any way encouraging infidelity in marriage, nor am I an advocate for a cheating spouse. Still, I am an advocate of a working marriage against all odds.

So, we then proceed to the second option. The option to stay, forgive, and repair. You then want to ask how possible it is to forgive such a grievous sin. Some cite issues of disease transmission and its likes and wonder how one can just act like nothing happened and stay in it. Now, this is where the grace of God and the strength of the Holy Spirit come in. You won’t do this by your self-ability because that self-ability is not strong enough to see you through. This is where you need the strength, power, and grace of God.

When Jesus was asked why Moses permitted divorce in Matthew 19:7, His response in Matthew 17:8 was phenomenally clear. It was because of the hardness of their hearts that Moses permitted them to divorce their wives, but from the beginning, it wasn’t so. What I am learning here is that if we give God enough room in our hearts, even in situations like this, it won’t end in a divorce. Divorce only comes into play when we have hardened our hearts to God’s touch.

You will probably want to then ask me if it’s possible to forgive such, and practically speaking, my answer will be a big Yes. I have written about trust in marriage a couple of times. You cannot change an unfaithful spouse; only God can. Your assignment is to hand him or her over to God and trust God to do what you cannot do in them.  

The reality of the situation is that your spouse can be remorseful and truly change by virtue of his or her inner self. Or your spouse can just devise a better cover-up and continue. And in truth, you might never know. But there is One who will always know, who can change your spouse, and in fact, heal your marriage. That One person is God, and He is faithful to care for what you have committed into His hands. 

Some have also raised the concern of the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, which cannot be ruled out in this situation, most especially when your spouse has been unfaithful more than once or unrepentant about their sin. If you have developed a bond with God, you will know and understand how so special you are to Him that He will not allow your body to suffer for a sin you did not commit. No matter how bad your spouse is, you are protected because you are under the watchful eyes of God. 

Now, the second option appears to me like the winning option. Both for the one who feels betrayed and the one who has betrayed. Forgiving an act of infidelity in your marriage does not make you stupid or weak. In fact, it is a sign of strength. When your motive for forgiving is more to please God, then God steps in and does the repair. 

Then the one who has betrayed the other and anticipates a negative outcome but gets a pardon is then remorseful and repentant under the dealings of God in their lives. But if in the case of a lack of remorse and repentance, you can be certain that his or her punishment will eventually be due and duly served, too. You remember the story of Abigail and Nabal in 1 Samuel 25. But it's just good that you let God do the punishing while you remain in His will.

Some might think this approach does not apply in our day. But I tell you that I have seen in real life those who have been confronted with such a situation as this and have taken the two different options we just analyzed. Those who choose the second option with the full strength of God and prayerfully do so have significantly rejoiced afterward. And that, by God’s grace, will always be our testimony because, come what may, we will always win in Jesus' name.  

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here. 

There is a bookshelf page on our parent website, https://www.thewordthatsuits.com/, which I encourage you to visit. There are books there that will have a profound impact on your life and marriage. If you love to read books online, they are available in eBook format, which is suited to your needs. And if you don't have the time to read, you won't be missing out, as they are also available in audiobook formats, perfect for you. Just click on the book flyer below, and you'll be on your way to a life-impacting experience.

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools. 

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

What Should a Wife Do When the Support is Hard to Give

Prefer to listen instead of read? Click here to enjoy the audio version of today’s post before diving in.

In Genesis 2:18, God said it was not good for the man to be alone, and He would make a helper comparable to him. Another version calls her a suitable helper. And so further down in Genesis 2, we read about the making of a woman from the rib of the man, who became a wife to the man. So, this became the foundation of marriage.

From this scripture and many others in the Bible, we have determined that one of the many reasons for marriage is to provide support and care for one another. The wife was created primarily for the purpose of support, although she also has other responsibilities within the marriage.

However, I would like to share a scenario in today’s blog that requires deep thought. A woman legally marries a man, and everything appears to be in order before the marriage. A few months into the marriage, the wife got separated from her husband on the grounds of impotency.

Before we proceed, I want to note that I cannot confirm precisely whether this was the case before they got married, or if the wife was aware of the condition prior to the marriage. But what I can tell, and share, is that impotency was the reason for the separation, which eventually led to the divorce.  

If the wife is supposed to be a suitable helper to her husband, how then do we reconcile this situation where she is the one directly affected by her husband's shortfall? Is she still supposed to wait and support her husband in this situation, or is it okay for her to walk away, just as this wife has done? Let us remember that marriage is designed for “till death do us part.” Other than adultery as found in Matthew 19:9, no other grounds except for death are permitted for a divorce.

Some will argue that in a marriage with no sex, no hope of having children at some point, then there is nothing the wife is waiting to do in that marriage. And that is where we get it all wrong. The first point I want to bring forward concerns the declaration that founded marriage at its inception. And it says, “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.”

So, if a man is perfect, capable, and without any need for help, then God will not have to make a suitable helper for him. Another thing that comes to mind is that God never specified the area of a man’s life where help is needed. As a wife, your assignment is not limited to a defined area of your husband’s life where you should provide help. If your husband were perfect, then you would not be needed in his life.

The situation I mentioned above does not fall within the category of death or adultery. And based on what we have seen in the Bible, it does not fall within God’s approved reason for a divorce, either. Therefore, what God expects of a wife in this situation is to remain and help. If there is a weakness in her husband’s life, which she has identified in this case, then the next step is for her to step in and help, as God has assigned her to do.

The next question that will readily come to mind is: how can she help in this situation? She may not be a doctor or a medical professional. Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” A wife who is assigned to help her husband is not left without herself. If she is not a medical professional, she can at least pray to the one who can do far more than a medical professional can.

One truth remains unchanging: you cannot run a successful marriage and be the best version of yourself with your intellect. You need God, His guidance, and His Word to be successful in it. Your fervent prayer for your husband’s situation will bring about a solution, which you should approach with attentiveness and objectivity. So, you need to pray and learn to hear from God, then do what the Lord tells you to do when He instructs you.

This situation is not strange, as it has occurred a couple of times in the Bible. Abraham and Sarah had to wait many years to have a child. We were never told the reason why, but the couple stood with each other through the waiting period. Isaac and Rebekah, Samson’s parents, and Elizabeth and Zachariah are all examples of couples in the Bible who waited to conceive a child. We don’t know if it was as a result of impotency or that the womb was closed. But they didn’t walk out of the union at the sight of trouble. They stood together and won as a team.

There are many reasons why marriage was instituted, and physical intimacy is just a bonding catalyst in a marriage and an avenue for reproduction. But when we sum it up, it is not the primary reason why God instituted marriage.

In every situation and challenge, the truth remains that two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. Solomin says that if one falls, the other may lift him up. Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). This is more of a reason why God instituted marriage than for physical intimacy.

As I conclude, I would like to emphasize that there are many challenges we face from time to time, whether as individuals or as couples. Some challenges will affect the marriage, where it's either the husband against the wife, or both may be united against a common challenge. But the fact remains that two are better than one.

You don’t run away from your marriage in the face of challenges. Whether married or not, you will face challenges. No matter what it is, even in the face of impotency, you stay together, fight the challenge together, pray together, and win together because a threefold cord is not easily broken.

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here. 

There is a bookshelf page on our parent website, https://www.thewordthatsuits.com/, which I encourage you to visit. There are books there that will have a profound impact on your life and marriage. If you love to read books online, they are available in eBook format, which is suited to your needs. And if you don't have the time to read, you won't be missing out, as they are also available in audiobook formats, perfect for you. Just click on the book flyer below, and you'll be on your way to a life-impacting experience.

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools. 

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 Click below to read the first chapter free and discover the keys to a thriving marriage.

Is There a Profit in the Pain? Don’t Waste the Trial

Prefer to listen instead of read? Click here to enjoy the audio version of today’s post before diving in.

That we face challenges or go through trials is a constant in life, except that you are a day-old baby, toddler, or infant who cannot comprehend much. That you will face challenges and trials in life is a constant thing in life. Unfortunately, because we don’t know what the future holds and the timings of life belong to God, there is little or nothing we can do to avoid challenges. 

Some challenges can feel so crushing, while some feel light. Some linger for so long, while some are quick to go away. It is so easy to focus our attention on these challenges that we let them shut the door to our only way of escape. Some even die needlessly under the weight of the challenge. For some, they wait for others who equally have their share of concerns to help them out.

I have had my own fair share of troubles in life. I suppose I would have been a wasted person without the challenges I have faced in my life. I am not a challenge pro, but I have experienced enough in my lifetime to make me want to give up on God. The only truth is that where am I giving up to? God is the wing beneath my wings, even in the face of troubles. When Paul says in Romans 8:38-39 that what shall separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, I happen to be one of those he was referring to.

When faced with challenges, two words that have worked for me and I want to share in today’s post are “DISCERNMENT” and “RETROSPECT.” The dictionary defines discernment as “perception in the absence of judgement with a view of obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding. It also defines retrospect as a “review of past course of events or period of time.”

In Jeremiah 29:11, God tells us that He knows the thoughts He has towards us, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give us a future and a hope. But when we face those crumbling challenges, this scripture feels like a lie. Then Isaiah 49:16 tells us that God has inscribed us on the palms of His hands, and our walls are continually before Him. Luke 12:7 and Matthew 10:30 tell us that God knows and cares for us so well that the strands of hair on our head are numbered by Him. Psalms 23:1 reminds us that the Lord is our shepherd, and we shall not want. Psalms 121 tells us that He who keeps us does not slumber. I can go on and on picking out Bible scriptures that make you feel God must be lying with these words in the face of crumbling challenges, but is that really the case?

James 2:1 tells us to count it as joy when we face trials, and Hebrews 12:3-11 speaks of the profit that comes with chastisement by God, which translates to challenges and trials that we face. If, then, there is a profit in challenges we face, painful as they may be, then there is a need to look beyond the challenge and think deeply into the mind of God concerning what you are going through.

Remember that discernment is defined as perception in the absence of judgment with the view of obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding, so the first thing your challenge needs is discernment. You are not making any judgment yet, but you want to gain as much understanding as possible regarding that event in your life with the aim of gaining spiritual guidance. You want to pray that God opens your eyes of understanding to see what He sees concerning what you are going through.

If God loves and cares for you like He said He does, and God never lies, and He is not taking the challenge away, then believe me when I say there is a profit in that trial. When you pray, God answers. As you seek understanding into the mind of God concerning the event of your life, the next useful word you need is retrospect.

There is nothing new under the sun. There is nothing that is happening to you that has never happened before. So, you need to search for events similar to yours. I assure you that you will find an abundance of them in the Bible. Check for patterns similar to yours. One truth is that you will find deliverance at the end of each story, except in cases where sin is involved. Then note that if God did it for them, He’ll do yours too, if you remain in faith and obedience to His leading.

Oftentimes, when God is nudging me to do something or take action, and I am dragging my feet, I find out that a fight erupts between my husband and me out of nowhere. Even when I am angry, I slow down to pray and ask why that occurrence occurred. Why the unnecessary fight? And even though this may not be a huge challenge, I always realize that it is God screaming for my attention, and pushing me to do what He has laid on my heart to do that I had been procrastinating about.

Your miracle is like a diamond in the rough. Your glory is hidden in your story, and your testimony resides in the center of your test. To avoid the story is to throw away the glory, and to run away from the test is to do away with the testimony. A lot of people have focused on the test and have missed the glory that has been set before them.

A lot have drowned in the test, and have gotten buried in the story because they let the test and story take the center stage, and forgot to discern and then retrospect. God loves you too much to allow you to go through a profitless journey. The journey is painful yet profitable.

Isaiah 43:2 tells us that when we pass through the waters, God will be with us, and when we pass through the rivers, they shall not overflow us, and when we walk through the fire, we shall not be burned. Is God lying here? Absolutely not. Moses was in the river as a baby; the river did not overflow him, and Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego were in the fire, yet they were not consumed. God is tested and proven to be true, so your case will not be different.

But truth be told, God never promised us a life without challenges; He only promised that when we are going through it, He will be with us and help us through it. Psalm 23:4 tells us that when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you know those challenges that look like they want to take your life with them, you should still not be afraid because even in that situation, God is still with you. So, when next you walk through a trial, don’t just endure it—discern it. Don’t just survive it—reflect on it. For your glory is hidden in your story, and your victory is already in motion.

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here. 

There is a bookshelf page on our parent website, https://www.thewordthatsuits.com/, which I encourage you to visit. There are books there that will have a profound impact on your life and marriage. If you love to read books online, they are available in eBook format, which is suited to your needs. And if you don't have the time to read, you won't be missing out, as they are also available in audiobook formats, perfect for you. Just click on the book flyer below, and you'll be on your way to a life-impacting experience.

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools. 

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.