Monday, 15 July 2013

Some Insight Into My Books

I am using my blog post today to share insight into my newly published books. Although these books have been a compilation of writings through the inspiration of God over the past five years but by the grace of God they are just been publish one at a time. I am going to share with my readers something from three of my books that are presently published and available on amazon.com. I pray everyone that visits this blog leaves with something to impact their lives positively.

The first book I will like to share somethings about happens to be the first book I ever wrote, and it is titled "Gleanings From The Throne of God". In fact this book was born from a desire to share the word through tracks and I discovered that what God was laying on my heart was a little beyond tracks. By the time the Lord was done with me writing the book, I found myself writing about eighteen passages of each message. This book contains ten different messages that are not related to each other in any way, so it is as though having 10 small books in one. The fist title of the book "Gleanings From The Throne of God", is "The Joy Of Thanksgiving".  The message of this title makes a search into the heart of God as to why the Lord requires us to give thanks at all times. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." In fulling this command of the Lord, we are required to give God thanks even when things are going well, and we are in the middle of life's challenges. The Lord wants us to give Him thanks even in the midst of our grieve. Sometimes when we think about this we are tempted to conclude that the requirements of God are hard, but then God is not a mean God, if He has asked us to do a thing, He has a beautiful end us. So "The Joy Of Thanksgiving" is a reach into the mind of God to help us understand the importance of thanksgiving, so when we know better on this we are able to act better on it. The second title of "Gleanings From The Throne of God is "Empty Pursuit". What this title reveals to us is the need to align our needs, wants, desires and pursuit with the will and purpose of God for our lives. God created us and understands the function and purpose we are created to fulfill. We will only be effective and fulfilled on the face of the earth when our purpose is inline with God's purpose for us. The thirds title is "What Do You Have In Your Hands", and this title speaks of the knowledge of the gift and talents of God in our lives. It reveals that no man created by God is created empty, and as we discover our gift, we need to hand it over to God to breath on and multiply it for us. He alone teaches our hands to make wealth. The forth title is "Parents Talk" which reveals to us the important things we need to know, do and pray about as we raise Godly offspring for God. The fifth title is "Becoming the Woman God Intends You To Be". Hello ladies this is for us. Here we have just something helpful, suitable to help us fulfill better our God given assignment as a wife and mother, fulfilling the will and purpose of God for our lives. The sixth title is "You Don't Have To Be Perfect", and this messages reveals to us that we are good enough a harvest for God just as we are. We don't need any self-effort at perfection to be saved by God. Just as we are in our sinful state in all God desires to save us. He will work His perfection in our lives, even before we know it. The seventh title is "Danger of Worry", and just like the title says it opens our hearts to the possible treat of worry, not just to our faith but also to our health and help us to know that we can rest all fears at the throne of God and pick up faith instead, the faith that is strong enough to make things happen. The eighth title is "The Suffering That Makes Perfect", I do have a blog post with the same title and the content of that blog post is a summary of what contains in this book. God will not make you go through those challenges just as a punishment, but as a training designed to produce a glorious end for you. It is a training that makes us mature and produces perfection in us if we are truly trained by it. The ninth title is "Though It Hurts I Must Forgive", and this title contains an illustration that really reflects the purpose of God when He instructed that we need to forgive those who sin against us. I learned a great deal writing this message and it opened my heart to gains of forgiveness. The tenth title of this book is "Standing For God". On so many occasions in the Bible we have read of how God made proud declarations of those who have truly walked with Him, He made a proud declaration of Abraham whom He called His friend, He made a proud declaration of David whom He called a man after His heart, He man a proud declaration of Noah whom the Bible recognized as righteous man who was different from His peers, He made a proud declaration of Job whom He said there was none like on the face of the earth, He made a proud declaration of our Lord Jesus Christ whom He said was His Son in whom He is well pleased. All these people and more stood the testing of faith. The declaration of God over their lives were tested and yet the stood. Are we ready to stand for God? 
All these are there in the book "Gleanings From The Throne Of God" it is available in print and kindle from this amazon.com or via this link http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Gleanings%20From%20the%20Throne%20of%20God or https://www.createspace.com/4330620


The second book I want to share it's content with you is titled "Marriage God's Rules of Engagement". From the frequency of my blog post on marriage issues I suppose a lot of people will understand how helpful that book is to the making of a successful marital experience. It is a book of about seven chapters that shows us a lot about the mind of God for that institution called marriage. You will understand from Bible truth what God expects of you in form of your attitude towards your spouse, the role that love is to play in your marriage and choice of a spouse. The prerequisite for choosing a spouse, the mind of God concerning divorce and arranged marriage and seen in the Bible, the vice of polygamy, how to handle external interference in your marriage and many more and then there are also real life stories on marriage issues that you can learn from. This has helped my marriage and it will help yours because it is the truth of the Bible. 


The third book I want to share it's content with you is titled "Because The Lord Seeks Godly Offspring". Malachi 2:15a says "Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring." One very  important assignment for the husband and his wife assigned to them by God is to give the Lord godly which he seeks. In deed the world is highly in need of godly offspring given the high level of moral decay the world over. Offspring that will crush the head of satan and bring down the kingdom of God here on earth as it is in heaven. If only we are able to lead our children in the instructions and training of the Lord, we would have contributed a big quota to the improvement of our society and the world over. Some of the questions that are looked into in this search as we make discoveries from the word of God are: Why does the Lord Seek Godly Offspring; How does our lives impact on that of our children and also the impact of the lives of our children on our lives and ministry; The best time to start the training of our children in the way of the Lord. We as married couples have an assignment for the Lord, we are indeed the agents of God in bringing down His Kingdom here on earth as it is in heaven. 
    
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Friday, 12 July 2013

You Crush Depression As You Learn To Wait On God

It’s been about ten days since I posted a message on this blog and I really missed posting but it was due to event that were a little beyond me. First my laptop developed a little problem, then I also began to feel a little under the weather. But I am glad to be back and share with you again. 
In today’s post I will trust God to give me a word for those people who are feeling depressed in any way and for any reason. Sometime last year I had the  opportunity to speak to a lady that was undergoing some form of depression and this was taking it’s toll on her family as she began to take her frustration out on her little children and husband. She came across my counseling website www.thewordthatsuits.com, read through the articles on the site, got my number from there and gave me a call. 
The cause of the depression being that she lost her job and just felt the world was closing in on her. She concluded there was no means by which she could have a dreams materialize and this really took its toll on her. For about an hour she poured out herself to me like she had never expressed to anyone according to what she told me. But one big lesson I took with me from that counseling session on the phone was that my experiences in life was for a purpose. And all I had gone in life that seemed like hardship was actually God preparing me for His task for my life. 
When she had finished talking, I told her that she had just been out of job for about nine months and she is depressed but I (who happens to be counseling her) have been out of job for well over seven years then and I am yet to loose hope. She has two children both boys to look out for, but I have three children who look up to me to handle their needs and even wants and yet I am not loosing hope. She has a good husband who understood her situation and was very supportive of her, to the point that he bought her a brand new car, but in my own case when I was passing through my own challenges, my husband was not even there for me, in fact he was part of the challenge then (Though that is no more the case, my husband is a changed man that I love to love) and I still didn't loose hope. 
And so I told her that if the Lord has sustained me in well over seven years that I was unable to sustain myself and He has provided for all my needs and that of my family and then revived my near broken marriage, then she really has no cause to be depressed if she desires to receive the intervention of God for her situation. All that she needed was a perseverance heart, and faith in the ability of God. 
I will always say that the faith that makes things happen is the faith that is based on something or the knowledge of something. Abraham was able to have faith in God because he knew that God had the power to do that which He had promised (Roman 4:20-21). In the same way the woman with the issue of blood was able to say within herself that if only she can touch the cloth of Jesus she will be healed because she had heard about the miracles of Jesus (Mark 5:24-30).
Depression only exhibit your limitation, the fact that you are depressed shows that you cannot help yourself and that you need help. It is an internal cry for help from One who is above and beyond you. And the moment you realize this and then truly seek the help that you need and require from the right source which is God, then you are a champion. You have conquered depression without any self effort.

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Depression really gets us nowhere. It is just a waster of time and life. When we exhaust our ability and potentials, that does not mean life has ended, its just a pointer to the need for a better and bigger ability that is only made available in Christ Jesus. When we are wise enough to walk through our situation and walk to God we are victorious. Trials do not occur in our lives to endanger us but to make us mature, teach us to persevere and trust God for all things and relinquish self effort for God’s effort to have a free flow. It is then we become mature and lack nothing. Whatever we want and need from God just requires that we ask and wait, and let God determine the perfect timing for the manifestation of what we have asked of Him. 

Habakkuk 2:3
For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

When you are certain of the power of God as you pray, then you will understand that what you are praying for will manifest and not delay but it will be at God’s own set time. He determines the timing not us. He sets the time not us. But the important thing we need to do is to learn perseverance. Learn to wait on Him till His appointed time manifest. The ability to overcome depression lies in the ability to wait on God to grant us our hearts desires and wait on Him for all we need. 
By the time I finished talking to this wonderful lady and the Lord using me to reveal Himself to her, she realized she had nothing to worry about and that she was just impatient and too much in a haste. Now is the time to remove our focus from our situation and challenge and wait for God. He will come and will not delay. Then we will be champions over depression.

If you will like to get a copy of my book "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement" and "Gleanings From The Throne of God", they are available on amazon.com in print and kindle or via they provided links. http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1372678170&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement,


You can also get them on Createspace.com via the links below.






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Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Dealing With External Interference In Marriages

Matthew 19:4-5
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female', and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 

Ephesians 5:31
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"

Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

A lot of times I see things in the Bible that somehow appears as a mystery and I always want to know why it is so. Of such mystery is the very continuous emphasis on the fact that a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife in marriage. Noting that a man can remain under the tutelage of his parents and still get married is very much as possible situation. I am sure you will agree with me that a man can still be living under his father's roof and watch and take a woman in as his wife is not an impossibility. But when God designed marriage at the very beginning he designed it such that a man will totally be removed from his father and mother and then be united to his wife. 
When we take a look at the word leave as it is continuously mentioned in the issue of marriage in the Bible we will have the following words as similar in meaning or close alternative for leave: go away, depart, abscond, run off and disappear. And so what the Lord says about marriage is that "a man will go away from, abscond from, depart from, run off from and disappear from his father and mother and then be united with his wife."
The interference of a man's close relatives and loved ones in his marriage has also been one of the hidden problems that marriages face from time to time. As it applies to the man, so is it with the woman/wife. The unity of the man is with his wife and not with his wife and her mother, father, sisters, brothers, cousins and any other form of relative. 
I have experienced and also heard of a lot of damages that relatives either intentionally of otherwise have caused in the marriages of their children or loved ones. A man who loves his parents so much is naturally caught between satisfying their request and that of his wife. For some parents who are overtly domineering, its always a big problem for their children because such parents will always want their voices heard and their commands and instructions obeyed whether it suits their children's marriage situation or not. As far as they are concerned they know best. A daughter or son in-law who does not give in to their dominance becomes a bad egg that must be thrown out fast, such an in-law is not good enough for their child or ward.
In order to have a clear picture of why the Lord wants the man and his wife to leave father and mother behind as they unite and start a new life together, I will like us to consider the call of God on the life of His man Abraham. I have seen a lot of similarities in the call of God for Abraham and that of every man into marriage. 
In Genesis 12, we will read about how God called Abraham to a life of separation telling him to leave his father's household and go to a place where the Lord will show him. Abraham left as the Lord instructed in the company of his wife Sarah and his nephew Lot. Although Abraham obeyed the Lord but with one tiny disobedience, and that is, he took just one tiny extra luggage with him which he was supposed to have left behind and that was his nephew Lot. 
By the time the story got to Genesis 13, Abraham had grown in property and wealth and so did Lot, as he shared in the blessings of Abraham. But the land then grew insufficient for both of them to co-exist, Lot's herdsmen and Abraham herdsmen began to quarrel over pasture land for their cattle and they had to part ways. This same land was the promised land that the children of Israel would eventually inherit, yet it was insufficient for Lot and Abraham.
In the same manner that home that the Lord has established for the man and his wife will eventually become insufficient when the mothers and fathers begin to co-exist with the man and his wife and so with time quarrels will start. The Lord that designed the home at the beginning designed it for the man and his wife alone. Not with the man's father and mother or the wife's father and mother, but for the man and his wife alone. 
Our parents, siblings, cousins and all other loved ones we have, have been placed by God in our lives for a purpose and He wants us to always love them and care for them. 1 Timothy 5:8 teaches a man to provide for his relatives, and this includes all the loved one I have mentioned. But when it comes to the marriage issue, they are to remain outside the unity of the man and his wife. As the Lord said, the man and his wife are to leave these loved ones behind as they unite in matrimony. They are extra luggage that are not essential for the journey ahead. Ecclesiastes 4:12b tells us that "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." This cord I believe represents the man, his wife and the Lord Jesus Christ. 
In the real sense we might need to borrow wisdom from our parents as we journey on in marriage, but we need to know and understand when to draw the line and how far they are allowed to interfere in our marriages. As for the parents, this message has not undermined your guardian role over your children, but the control you are able to exert on them reduces drastically when they have grown enough to head a home themselves or be a suitable help to a man in themselves. At this point the head of the man is Christ and the head of the woman is her husband (1 Corinthian 11:3).
Proverbs 22:6 says "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." If as a parent you have been able to train your child well in the way he/she is to go just as the passage above says, then when they are grown enough to marry you can be rest assured that your child is well prepared for his/her matrimonial journey in life with God watching over them, and your mind can be at rest as you carry on your own journey fulfilling your divine assignment to your spouse and to God. 
In many occasions married couples have been burden with the over-bearing influence of parents and guardians on decisions of their homes, while not wanting to hurt their feelings or appear disobedient or rude. I understand that situation well because I have been their before, but when you know the truth of God's design for your marriage you are able to take a firm stand on issues of your home without being rude or confrontational to external interference. You also need to stand onthe truth of God's words and pray off any external interference that might be affecting your home even with good intentions. The Lord is able to and will help you uphold your home and marriage, just keep on calling to Him, He will show up.    

If you will like to get a copy of my book "Marriage God's Rules of Engagement" and Gleanings From The Throne of God," they are available in print and kindle on amazon.com or via the provided links. You can also view and review the books via the link, that will be much appreciated.


The are aslo available on CreatSpace.com via these links:



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Monday, 1 July 2013

Who Is Responsible For The Financial Provisions Of The Home?

1 Timothy 5:8
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
  
Proverbs 31:10-31
A wife of noble character who can find? she is worth far more than rubies. 
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from from afar. 
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earning she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 
In her hands she holds the distaff and grasp the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seats among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Philippians 4:19 says "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Although this passage came as a prayer from Paul to the people of Philippe, it's a big truth in all circumstances, that as long as we remain under the covenant of God and we are legitimate children of God, the Lord God Almighty is responsible for meeting all our needs and even wants and all we ever desire. He is able to meet those needs and surely will meet them if we remain under His covenant. Psalm 37:4 says "we should delight ourselves in the Lord and He will give us the desires of our hearts." This is also true for the needs of our homes, but the Lord will still use a vessel in meeting these needs as He will not come down from heaven and lay the provisions of our needs on our laps. By reason of answers to prayers doors of financial increase might open for either the husband or the wife in order to meet up with the financial needs of the home. 
The focus of this post is have an understanding into whether it is the man or the woman that God will use as a vessel in meeting the needs of the home according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. In many cultures or traditions it is assumed that the man has been delegated by God as the one solely responsible for the financial provisions of the home. Well in this regard the belief of these cultures are not wrong, it is a man's responsibility to provide for his family, most especially his immediate family as Paul has stated in 1 Timothy 5:8. A man who fails in this responsibility and does so intentional is regarded not as a believer in the Lord Jesus, but as an unbeliever and should be treated as such.
But in the home the man is not the only vessel whom the Lord can and will use to meet the needs of the home. The wife and mother of the home is also a handy vessel in God's hands for this purpose. The wife and her ability to provide financially for the needs of the home is put to test when the husband and head of the home is financially down or broke and the wife is too step in and fill the gap. Thus Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up." The fall is not the literal falling, but this fall comes in various dimensions. It comes in form of sin, moral standard, financial fall and many other falls, and so the Bible says when such a fall happens his friend, not his mother or sister or father or brother will help him, but that his friend whom the Lord has placed in his life as a suitable help ahead of those falls will help him up when he falls.  
And here comes the role of a virtuous wife whom the Lord has groomed and placed in the life of his man ahead of the many falls he may encounter in life. Proverbs 31:10-31 tells us so much about the virtues of a wife of noble character, but for the purpose of this post I will just want to consider those virtues that relates to providing for her family. 
For many women, they carry on the thought that it's not their responsibility to provide for the needs of the home even when they have the resources to spare. Through what the Bible shows us in Proverbs 31:10-31 we can conclude that these women have not passed the test of a wife of noble character. It's the responsibility of the husband to provide for the home, but it's your responsibility as his suitable help to financial help and support your husband when the need arises. That is why the Lord permitted you to be his wife and suitable help. 
Solomon says a wife of noble character is a woman whom her husband has full confidence in and lacks nothing of value, because she brings him good all the days of her life. She is the pride of her husband. For me this lines are very deep and needs us as women to consider it well. It appears as though the Lord will assess us through the ratings of our husband. Heaven will adjudge us noble or not based on how much good we have been able to bring to our husbands' lives, all the days of our lives. 
Some other things that categorizes us as women or wives of noble character is how much we are able to take care of our families even with our own income and resources. A wife of noble character considers a field and buys it and then plants  a vineyard all with her earnings. This she is doing with her earnings. 
The passage also tells that she provides food for her family and portions for her maid servants. She is like a merchant ships bringing her food from her afar. That food which she provides for her family is one brought from afar as a result of her merchandise. From what I am reading in this passage, 60% of what it says show the ability of the wife of noble character to generate income with which to care of her family. This goes along a long way to show that a wife is expected by God to work at earning income to make available financial provisions for the family. She is also just as much a vessel as the man in the hands of God in meeting the needs of the family.
Now if we consider that the man has a responsibility bestowed on him by God to provide for the needs of the family and that the wife of noble character is also a vessel usable by God in making financial provision for the family then the family based on God's purpose should not experience severe lack. If the man and his wife jointly bearing the financial responsibility of the home with the husband as the principal partner and the wife as the suitable help, then even in times of trouble the family is well hidden. 
It is time to start doing the needful, it's time that the man and his wife will start to put the needs of the family ahead of their personal wants and fulfill God's plan for their homes. Then the two will enjoy lasting peace even in financial issues. 

To get my book "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement," please click the http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1372678170&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement. I will be grateful if you can help review the book on the link provided. 

To also get my book "Gleanings From The Throne of God," please click the link http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Gleanings%20From%20the%20Throne%20of%20God. I will be grateful if you can help review the book on the link provided


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Friday, 28 June 2013

The Power Of Impossibility Through Unity In The Home

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no-one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Genesis 11:6
The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.”

One secret to a successful marriage that a lot of couple might be ignorant of is UNITY. We all seem to be aware of the importance of unity in the home yet we do very little to make it happen. But if the Lord God will say that “if as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them,” then this cannot be more true. If the Lord has declared it so then it is true and even the devil recognizes it so and that it why he will do all that is possible to work against the unity of the home. 
Another truth that we need to understand and appreciate well is that unity requires sacrifices. The sacrifices required in this case is not of substances, but of will and want, the sacrifice of opinion and desires. Unity is when two or more people speak with one voice, they speak the same language, act in the same direction with the same purpose and will, then God said nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. When you are beginning to experience some obstacles in life as a married couple, then it’s important you cross check the bond of unity between you and your spouse and ensure that it is firm and intact.
The Lord said in Genesis that it is not good that man should be alone, and then Solomon says in the passage above that two are better than one, and this tells us much about the importance of unity between a man and his wife. This unity that Solomon speaks of I believe is more of the unity of a man and his wife than that of a man and siblings or any other relationship. It’s only a man and his wife that the Bible expects to lie together and keep warm. 
Keeping that in mind, we will realize that when a man and his wife are united they have good returns for their work, and this goes to confirm what God in Genesis 11 that nothing they plan to do will be impossible. The word impossibility is erased from the bond of unity when it is firm and secure. Solomon also says that if one falls down, his friend can help him up. That suitable help that the Lord has provided for the man is ready on standby to help him up when he falls. And like I have mentioned earlier the two are able to keep warm when they lie down. And the last important goodie derived from the bond of unity is victory over life’s battles. King Solomon said it’s easy to overpower a one-man army, but two people are able to defend themselves better. The Bible also says one will chase a thousand, but two will chase tens of thousands. 
I have mentioned earlier that the unity that produces results requires sacrifice. In enhancing unity there is the need to be able to bend your will, bend your desires or opinion to fit into that of your spouse to form a firm bond. Since it’s the wife that the Lord has asked to submit to her husband, then she is expected to offer more of this sacrifice more than the man. As a woman, it is wise not to get so overwhelmed with your ideas and opinions that you ignore the importance of unity in your home. When your opinions and ideas tends to break the bond of unity in your home, then it’s important to let go of that idea and sort things out on your knees before God. 
The Lord has assigned the woman to build her home (Proverbs 14:1) and part of the things your are sure to build in the home is the bond of unity. In order to effectively do this, you need wisdom and much of understanding. With this acquired in prayers you are able to freely offer the sacrifice of your will, desires and opinions to foster the bond of unity in your home, then you and your husband will have good returns for your work as the Bible has stated.
The need to bend on ideas and will in order to foster unity in the home in not restricted to the wife alone. Men also get to make these sacrifices as they show love and appreciation to their wives and families. But the important focus is that we build unity in the home that is required for a healthy growth of our homes.   

To get and enjoy my book "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement" in print and kindle please click the link http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_1_title_0_main?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372442842&sr=1-1&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement.

Also available is Gleanings From The Throne of God in print and kindle. http://www.amazon.com/Gleanings-Throne-God-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/1490497455/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372443009&sr=1-1&keywords=Gleanings+From+The+Throne+of+God


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Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Building Trust In Marriage.

Jeremiah 17: 5-10
This is what the Lord says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no-one lives.
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
“The Lord searches the heart and examines the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.” 

One of the major bottlenecks faced by married couples is the issue of trust. There are quite a number of areas in a marriage where trust has been regarded to play a major role. We have the issue of trust in the financial life of married couples, trust in the sexual life of married couples, trust in the work life of married couples and trust in the way couples handle external relationships. So there are many parts of the marriage life that the issue of trust features prominently. 
Lack of trust in any of these areas of marital life that is mentioned and even those not mentioned have contributed greatly to the high divorce rate the world over. Without being told it is expected that a man is faithful on all grounds to the woman he has married and a woman is faithful to the man she is married to. It’s the requirement and it’s what God demands of a spouse to his/her partner. But nonetheless faithfulness which in turns earns trust is an attribute that we fail in every now and then. Some spouses are able to conceal their unfaithfulness from their partners more than others, but with time we all get to know that there is nothing hidden under the sun. 
The knowledge of this unfaithfulness leads to a lot of disasters in marriage, some even kill for it. The sense of betrayal that follows can be overwhelming and it takes great effort to build the lost trust again if ever that is possible.
But the mistake we make as humans whether married or not, whether in a relationship or not is that we tend to invest our trust in the man whom we cannot ascertain the state of their heart. What we are exposed to in the other person we see and love is the aspect of him/her that he/she reveals to us. We are able to judge based on what we see and not actually what is concealed in the heart. The Lord said “Cursed is the man who trusts in man.” I am positive this is a big pill to swallow, but to invest our total trust in a man is to take a big risk, a very big risk I must say. This is so because this man that we have so trusted is liable to fall at any time. He is prone to temptations and can make mistakes at any time and can fall at any time no matter his level of righteousness. This is so because he is just a man. 
This man will not fall into temptation because he wants to, he will not fall because he wants to hurt you, the fall might not be an intentional one, but still he might fall, and his falling will hurt you, break your heart, and injure your trust or might even destroy the trust completely. This can happen not just in marriage issues, but in any and every form of relationship. It could be between loved siblings or between the children and their parents or even between close friends. But the truth is that the trust of a man by a man is a big risk that we take. 
Now, paying more attention to the man and wife in marriage, the question that follows this discovery is that how is it possible for the man and wife to live in love and harmony without trusting each other? When we are able to answer this question well enough then we understand how to handle the matter of trust in marriages and even in every aspect of our lives where trust is required. 
Again I will use a true life story and the experience of a wife regarding the issue of trust to give an illustration to how God wants us to deal with trust in our lives. There is a lady with so many issues in her marriage and one of the issues that affected her marriage so deeply was infidelity. And this went on over some time. It was an issue that cut through her heart and each time her husband promised to make adjustment she discovered it was just a little better of cover up. As would be expected this really got her weighed down as it went on for a number of years. Naturally it affected her ability to trust her husband and it affected their marriage deeply. 
Gradually the husband began to make changes and paid more attention to her and their children but that still didn’t make him earn her trust him because he had made several promises and failed to keep them. But then she began to pray, she asked God to come into the situation and help her.  I didn’t want my marriage to break, but she could not trust my husband anymore. She cried to God and prayed on that issue over a period of time. Then in the middle of her prayer with tears and swollen eyes she heard the Lord speak to her heart that He will visit her marriage once again and put a stop to infidelity in her home. The Lord asked her to trust Him on that. She was then reminded of Sarah and Abimelech. So she decided to trust God on that. 
Infidelity in her home has found its permanent exit. She didn’t have to trust her husband not to cheat on her again, even though he appeared a totally changed man that she can see and is evident in his attitude in their home, but she trusts God to prevent infidelity from happening again in my home. She is very comfortable to commit herself to her husband and marriage not because she has his words of never cheating on her again, but because she has a word from God not to make that happen in my home again. Her husband can always break his words, but her God will never break His promise. 

This is not applicable to just married couples, but also in all other forms of relationships we might find ourselves. It’s easier to trust, when you are not trusting man but God. Whatever changes you want to occur in your spouse, pray and trust God to effect those changes in him/her rather than to believe that he/she will be all that you expect them to be by themselves. It’s even more reliable to trust God than man. When all your trust is invested in God then your life will flourish and your mind will be at peace because God will never break His promise or betray your trust in Him. He remains ever faithful. 

My book Marriage God's Rules of Engagement is available on amazon.com in print and kindle, to get a copy please click and of the following links. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Marriage%3AGod's%20Rules%20Of%20Engagement, or https://www.createspace.com/4309313
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Sunday, 23 June 2013

Who Is Your Wife To You?

Genesis 2:18-23
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." 
Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beast of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. 
But for Adam no suitable help was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said.
"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman', for she was taken out of the man."

Ephesian 5:25-30
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body.  

We celebrated father's day today in my church. I guess the church postponed the celebration for some reasons, but it was fun. There was so much emotion in the air and the fathers who have done so well in handling the responsibilities that the Lord has laid on their lives over their families could not help but feel proud and loved with all the accolades, appreciations and loves messages pouring out of their loved ones to them. My husband was not left out too, couldn't get him a gift though, and for us everyday is father's day. With what the Lord is doing in my home I get to celebrate my husband all the time.
But then there is still a little need to address the husbands in marriage issues. In as much as the Lord has commanded that the woman to build her home, we cannot totally blame the woman for a faulty marriage. When a man understands the important role his wife has been placed in his life to perform and accomplish, then it is easy for him to appreciate his wife for what she has been placed in his life to be and do and this in turn gives the wife the boost and encouragement to give her best in serving her husband and her own role as a home builder is greatly simplified. 
I will humbly seek the permission of the men to address them in this blog post and I believe they will lend me their attention. I do not stand to instruct any man, but plead with their conscience through the word of God. 
Going by the word of God in Genesis 2:18, it says "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'"It was not any man who pronounced man as unfit or better still not ideal to be alone, but God. The Lord who created man at the beginning said it is not good, not proper, but befitting, not suitable, not ideal, not appropriate that man should be alone. If man didn't need a help, support, assistance, the Lord will not declare it so. He created the man, He know what the man is made up of, He understands the strength and weakness of the man and thus declared that man needs a help.
The second thing that I observed and want us to see in the Genesis 2 passage is that among all that God created, among the beast of the ground, the birds of the air and the fish in the sea, the Lord did not find one suitable to help the man. None of all that God created was good enough to help man overcome the loneliness that God observed in the life of the man. So the Lord made the man fall into a deep sleep and from within  him God took a part and created the woman. The suitable help for the man has to be one brought forth from within the man himself. 
God in His infinite wisdom knows that the help that can adequately fit in to suitably help the man and fill the vacuum of loneliness in the man He has created has to be one brought out of him and created in like manner as him. Not the birds of the air, or the fish in the sea, or the beast of the ground but one brought out of the man. 
Then moving forward, we will also see in that passage that the woman God made is a suitable help for the husband. What that tells me is that in every way a man may need help in life, God has placed the woman ahead into the man's life to be that ideal help. No wonder Proverbs 18:22 say "he who finds a wife has found a good thing and obtains favour from God." 
So some things that men need to note about their wives is that she is the unequaled help created by God from them and for them to help fulfill there destiny, fill every vacuum in their lives and help birth the favour of God in their lives. When a man has the divine revelation of who his wife is and the role she has been placed in his life by God to perform, then it will not be so much of a problem for him to love and treat with care this beautiful addition that God has given to him. 
In the mood of father's day celebration it will be nice to really appreciate what God expects of His man towards his wife. Paul said in the book of Ephesians that just in the same manner that Christ Jesus loved and gave himself up for the church is what God expects of the man towards his wife. 
Paul said Christ Jesus loved the church well enough to give himself up for her in order to make her holy. He cleansed her through the washing of water by the word and presents her to himself as a radiant church, without stain, wrinkle or blemish but holy and blameless. This is what Christ had to do to the church that He present to Himself.
In like manner the Lord God wants the man to cleansed his wife with the word and with love, so that he can present her to himself (and not another but himself) as one without blemish, wrinkle or stain. Your effort in making your wife the ideal help is not that another person might take advantage of what you are doing, but that whatever you do, you do yourself because your wife is to be presented by you and to you and not another. Your labour in making her a beautiful piece to behold is such that you alone will enjoy the result of what you have deposited in her. 
Then Paul also noted that the husband ought to love their wives as their own bodies. The words of Paul cannot be more true because in truth going by the words of God in Genesis 2:18-23, the wife is taken from her husband. She is flesh of flesh with you and bone of bones with, she is your better half, your missing rib, she is you in another form. So the Lord expects that the manner in which you take care of the You body is the same way you take care of the Her body. So you are responsible for taking care of two bodies that are you in different forms. 
It does not matter that she is from another family of another clan of another tribe of another state and another country. The Lord who made the You and the Her says He made the Her body from the You body and that cannot be contested or proven otherwise. He made you and form her from you, and at the time set by Him, He present her to you to become your wife and suitable help. What an awesome God He is. 
As a man there is the need to pray that God opens your heart to understand the position of your wife in your life and how to take advantage of the placement of this suitable help in your life. There is none like your wife, no help suitable enough for your life than your wife. You will be maximizing her gift in your life when you learn to love and care for her like yourself. She alone fits because she was taken from you.


To get a copy of my book Marriage: God's Rule of Engagement in print and kindle please click the link http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Marriage%3AGod's%20Rules%20Of%20Engagement, you can also get them from https://www.createspace.com/4309313
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