God's Law for Marriage 2

It’s another glorious day and another glorious reason to thank the Lord. Big of all, it’s another talk day as we make effort to a better life beginning with a better marital experience.

So without any long intro, we will continue our gist on God’s rules for marriage. We started with God's rules for the wives in the last post and today we will look at the rules for the husbands. In doing that we will be going back to the theme scriptures of the last post were we found God’s rules for marriage.

Ephesians 5:22-30, 33

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Colossians 3:18-19

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

1 Peter 3:1-7

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine cloths. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed her Abraham and called him master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life. So hat nothing will hinder your prayers.

It feels so very good to be the head, being the head or the leader of a team accrues some level of power to it and it’s so easy for pride to set in and overwhelm a person when you know that you call the shots and you have people who are answerable to you; they take instructions from you and obey just as you have instructed.

But what is easily forgotten is that with such power comes huge responsibility. For those people who are answerable to you, you are also accountable for them. For anything that goes wrong you take the blame whereas you might not necessarily take the accolade for things that goes right. In truth, "uneasy lies the head that wears the crown."

The first thing I noticed concerning God’s instruction to the men is that as a husband he is the head of his wife and then the entire family. That automatically makes him accountable for his wife and his entire family. The wellbeing of his wife and his entire family are his responsibility; the growth and development of his wife and his entire family both physically and spiritually is his responsibility.

That is why when you see a woman who has added a considerable amount of body weight after marriage and maybe giving birth, it is often said that her husband is taking good care of her (even if that is not be the case). And you will also notice that in the Old Testament God is always calling on His men to hold fast to the His laws, and the same laws should not depart from their mouths but that they should teach those laws to their child and their entire household. That is God calling on the men to develop their household spiritually. Now you understand that the development of the wife and the entire household is the responsibility of the husband.

But the major rule given to the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Quite a number of men love their wives, but just a few of them love their wives as Christ loves the church; that is the unselfish, unconditional, sacrificial love that keeps on loving even to the point of death.

This love that God speaks of in this rule to the husband has no condition attached to it; it’s not the kind of love you have for your wife because she respects and obeys you; it’s not the kind of love that she earns as a result of her submission to you; it’s not the kind of love that you show when you are in public and your wife is glowing like a masterpiece of all of God’s creation; it’s not the kind of love that requires that your wife knows how to cook delicious meals and her presentation is on point; it’s not the kind of love that you show because your wife is the managing director of her organization and she is at the peak of her career. This is a kind of love that requires no clause and no sentiment attached to it. This love is without prerequisite, it's a love you just give and keep giving despite all her shortfalls in the same manner Christ loves the church.

It is a love that is pure and real and a love that is worth dying for. A love that is diligent and will keep on loving even when it gets nothing in return. Christ is the epitome of this kind of love; He is the leading example of this kind of love. And if by your own strength you are unable to give this kind of love, then go Jesus, with Him in your life running the show to love like this becomes very possible for you.

God is not going to drop the standard of love required by the husband to his wife just because the husband is unable to meet up, but rather God will lift up the husband to the approved standard of His ideal husband so that he is able to match up with what is required of him.

But should a man keep on loving a wife who does not respect or submit to him; a wife who is too demanding and never satisfied or contented with the best available; always taking and never giving, a wife who is lazy and cannot lift a finger but expects that her husband slaves himself for her? 

Well like I mentioned in the last post, a marriage covenant is tripartite covenant arrangement and everyone has a defined role to play in this triangular relationship. The role of the husband is to head the wife and the family and his rules of engagement is love unconditionally, and the rule of engagement for the wife is to submit to her husband as to the Lord and then God is the overseer of that union and judge of both of them.  God never fails and He is never late and He is always just. So when either the husband or wife fails in their rules of engagement, God punishes the offender after much room has been given for repentance, and he judges according to the weight of the offence.

If a man decides to take action against his wife’s misbehavior, he is going beyond his scope of engagement in this triangular relationship and infringing into God’s area of engagement and even that comes with its consequences. So also it is that failure for the woman to perform her role well and obey her own rules of engagement in marriage comes with its consequences. 

The ability of the man to obey his own rules of engagement in marriage is not found in the actions or inactions of his wife. Though it is his wife that the man has been asked to love unconditionally, but this love is not subject to what the wife does or does not. So when God calls the man to account over his failure to obey the rules of engagement for his marriage, the man cannot give his wife as an excuse for failure. When as a husband you fulfill your own side of the covenant by obeying the rules of engagement and your wife fulfills her own side of the covenant by obeying her own rules of engagement, your marriage is at peace and there is nothing for God to judge, just a peaceful union for Him to protect and guard.

May the Lord bless our homes and marriages in Jesus name.

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God's Law For Marriage

Good day great and special children of God. It’s another week and in fact the third week of the year. We thank God for His grace on our lives and for the many blessings that we will still receive from Him.

We will take the next few posts in observing the rules for marriage. Some would wonder if indeed there are rules to follow in marriage. It is often said that human beings are irrational beings and so our behaviors cannot be generalized; what works for Mr.A might not work for Mr. B. But there are God’s rules for marriage. The God who instituted marriage also stated the rules of engagement in marriage such that the institution will not collapse, and that it might be protected from chaos. But baseless traditions and unfounded norms have eroded the purpose and plan of God for marriage. The marriage institution as it is today is in chaos and on the verge of collapse basically because the people for whom the institution was established have refused to follow the rules of engagement. And some don’t even know that there are rules of engagement existing in the institution. Whereas some have substituted human tradition and norms for God's rules of engagement for marriage. But God who created marriage created it with rules to follow and the code of conduct and character requisite to thrive in the institution.

We have studied the “Overseer Husband” and “The Wife of Noble Character” which I will say are the codes of conduct and the codes of character that a man and a woman needs to imbibe for a successful marriage. So we will look at God’s rules of engagement in marriage.

Ephesians 5:22-30, 33

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Colossians 3:18-19

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

1 Peter 3:1-7

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine cloths. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed her Abraham and called him master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life. So hat nothing will hinder your prayers.

If we do not know that there are rules of engagement in marriage before now, then here they are before us in the scriptures above as stated in the Bible. These are not man-made rules postulated by any humans, but they are God given rules that should guide us in marriage. Even though there are other side instructions in marriage and there are code of conduct for every man and woman in marriage and there are characteristics of a man that makes him out to be a good and god fearing husband and also characteristics of a woman to makes her into a good and godly wife, but for the rules of engagement in marriage they as found in the scriptures above.

God’s rules of engagement in marriage starts with the wife; she is the first person to get the instruction for marriage from God. When I first came across these sets of scriptures, the first thing God showed me was the fact that the wives were the first to be addressed. Noting that it’s the same with all three scriptures even though they were written by two different men showed that it was not just a coincidence, but was deliberately stated so as a message on its own.

God’s instruction first came to the wives because the wife is the foundation builder in any and every successful marriage. The life and success of every marriage is determined by characteristic and inherent values of the wife. Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her home, but with her own hands the foolish one tears her down,” there are a whole lot of roles a man plays in marriage as the husband; most importantly, he needs to be on top of his game to be the head over his wife, but it is the woman who builds the home and not the man. So we are not surprised that God will begin the giving of His laws with the woman. The success of a marriage is determined by how well the wife builds the home (which is not the physical structure, but the marriage structure).  

The law given to the wife who is the home builder of a successful marriage says “SUBMIT to your husband as unto the Lord and in everything.” To submit means “to willingly place yourself under the authority of another.” God did not give any exception to this rule, He didn’t say that you should submit yourself to your husband only when He is godly, or only when he is picking and paying the bills for the family upkeep and expenses or only when he is loving and caring. But all we have God say is that "wives submit to your husband as to the Lord."

Again, we read God instructing through Paul that wives should submit to their husbands in everything; so whether you are richer than him, wiser than him, godlier than him, older than him and every other clause that you might wish to add to it, the Lord says as long as he is your husband, he is your head and you are to submit to him. Any other rule in marriage for the wife that contradicts this rule is not from God and will only lead to chaos and eventual collapse of the marriage unit.

Proverbs 14:1 says, “the wise woman builds her home” and God’s instruction to the woman who will do well to build her home says “submit to your husband as to the Lord,” so a woman who submits to her husband is a woman who obeys the word of God and as such she is a wise woman. This is quite contradictory to what the tradition of today portrays that a woman who obeys her husband in everything is foolish. They say you cannot continue to do just what your husband tells you to do; in doing so, you are a fool. But what the Bible is showing us is that rather than obedience to your husband being foolishness, it is wisdom. This is one of the reasons why I always say that one of the greatest enemies to our marriage is TRADITION.

A woman will always worry when she is so very submissive to her husband and she gets nothing in return. Rather than her husband appreciating her devotion to him and the marriage he is mean to her and expending his love, attention and money on adulterous and lustful activities. Well in every covenant everyone has a role to play; your marriage is tripartite covenant between you, your husband and God. Everyone in this covenant relationship has a role to play and failure to play their role comes with great consequences.

The only sure fact in this tripartite covenant relationship is God, He will never fail in His role and He pays every other member back based on the quality and quantity of their input in the covenant relationship. Malachi 2:13 gives us insight into this role of God in our marriage covenant. 

So your role as a wife is to submit to your husband and to do so in everything. God’s role is to judge and deal His wrath on the man/woman who breaks the marriage covenant by failing to perform his/her role to expectation and your husband's role is to love you unconditionally. By trying to avenge yourself in marriage is going beyond your role and infringing into God’s role with accrues its own punishment. But when you continue in your role of submission to your husband and you do so diligently and your husband fails in his role and also does so diligently, then God will perform His own role as a judge and will also do so diligently. So don’t let anything or anyone, not even your husband make you shift on obeying God’s law for your life in marriage which is to submit to your husband as to the Lord.

So we continue in the next post by looking at God’s law for the husbands. I sincerely hope that we are appreciating what God is beginning to do in our lives and marriages. May the Lord bless our homes in Jesus name. 

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The Wife of Noble Character 4

Good day gracious and wonderful children of the Most High God, I am positive you’ve had a blessed day so far and today will end in praise to God in Jesus name.

Proverbs 31:24-31

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I am tempted to say that end of this study is more loaded than all that we’ve considered so far. From the praise given to the wife of noble character by her husband which reads that “many women do noble things, but you (this particular woman/wife) surpass them all” tells me that though we have women who do pocket of noble stuff but for a wife to be regarded as a wife of noble character, she needs to be an all-round embodiments of noble stuff and she does not do noble stuff just once in a while, she does noble stuff at all times and in all things. Indeed a wife of noble character who can find?

We start today’s study with verse 24 which says, “She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.” So she is not just multitasking in home keeping, she is also multitasking in business activities. We remember that it is the same wife of noble character that considers a field and buys it and with her earnings plants a vineyard; so she in an entrepreneur in all facets of business and very hard working. 

But her business life has not prevented her from watching over the affairs of her household; she is on top of the activities in her home, and still she is an embodiment of wisdom and faithful instructions are on her tongue. She is a woman who has circumcised her heart and bridled her tongue such that all that proceeds from her mouth are wise counsel. Such are the values of a wife of noble character. And that is why her husband will compare her with other women and affirm that she surpasses them all.

And because she has not abandoned the affairs of her household into the hands of maid servants but rather oversees the care of her family personally despite her busy entrepreneurial activities, her children call her blessed. Business has not taken the love and attention of their mother away from them.

And then this woman that has been described in the past four days of study is a woman who fears the Lord. I can say with all confidence that no woman can pull all these through without God. The source of her strength and the secret of all her ability are hidden in the fact that she is a woman who fears the Lord; and this is a very big lesson for all of us who wish to pull the feats that this wife of noble character is pulling in our homes, marriages and personal lives.

Solomon ended this by saying “Give her the reward that she has earned and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” Indeed the wife of noble character has worked hard and deserves all the praises that has accrued to her. But other than praises there is a reward that awaits this woman of excellence. All that she has done is not just an effort in futility, they are labor that deserves to be rewarded and the Bible tells us that surely the reward will come, it will not delay. So when you see a woman that seem to have everything going well for her, don’t count her lucky, ask her what work she has done and she is being rewarded for.

I will implore all women reading this to strive to be a wife of noble character; it’s a noble course that is worth all the reward that comes with it. It is hard work with great blessings and the secret of achievement is found in the fear of God. May the Lord uphold and bless all women reading this in Jesus name. 

The Wife of Noble Character 3

It’s another beautiful morning and with it are loaded divine blessings for those who wait on the Lord. I just checked the date and realized that we have already spent 12 days into the new year. Everything seems so fast and I hope that daily we are matching up our goals, our walk with God, and our aspirations with the speed of time. If you have not started making good your new year resolutions, you better realize the you are already getting to 12 days late. May the Lord give us divine strength, grace and wisdom in Jesus name.

So we are continuing with our study of the “Wife of Noble Character” and this study has ignited a lot of thoughts and call to action in my life and I pray that it is waking up some dead potentials in your lives too in Jesus name.

Proverbs 31:20-23

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

Proverbs 12:4

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

We continue to find out what makes a wife of noble character a substance of value and the first thing that we see in the third badge of verses of the scripture we are looking at is that she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy (Proverbs 31:20). She is a woman of compassion not just to her own family, but also to those outside of her family who need help and support. She is not one to look down on people; she is not the kind of woman who is carried away with world class structure. where the rich only relate with the rich and the poor mingle only with their kind. She is approachable by all and shows the love of God to all.

Then she is a woman of vision and discernment; she is blessed with wisdom and can read the signs of times ahead and prepare her household in advance. Now this household is without exception. She does not just prepare her children and leaves the husband out, but she prepares her entire household ahead of time. She knows what they would need before they actually do need it and makes it available even before they are required.

There are a lot of times that wives stuff the home with items that sometimes appear as junks. You would call them junks until the day they are needed and you run to get them and bless your God that you bought such item ahead of time. Such is the value of a wife of noble character. She is a woman of God who listens to the voice of God in her and is able to know how to prepare her family ahead of time for any occurrence based on what she hears in her spirit man. These are the qualities that makes her a woman of value; a highly prized possession.

Solomon says she makes coverings for her bed, and this reminds of the African proverb that says “It is the way you lay your bed that you will lie on it.” The wife of noble character is one who is wise enough to take the time to make her bed well, and when I say bed I am not referring to the physical bed that she lies on, but the bed of her marriage and life; the bed of her home. She has put up a good foundation for a marriage as a wife who pours value into the life of her husband and so she will rest in the comfort of a joyful and peaceful marriage.

She is clothed in fine linen and purple tells me that she is one who takes good care of herself too. After she has taken care of her household and she has put herself through hard work, she is returning to ensure that she also is well taken care of by her; she is not leaving herself out in this effort.

And then Solomon says “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land,” what a proud husband such a man would be. Now consider this: as a man you are married to a wife who is of great value and pours her value into your life irrespective of you; she is a hardworking woman who works vigorously without depending on you and would not relent until she sees that her trade is profitable; then she is a wife who places high priority on her family and brings her food for them from afar; then she is a wise woman of discernment who is able to read the times and prepares her household in advance such that nothing catches her by surprise and she has no fear for her family's future; then she is a woman who loves to help those in need; a humble and approachable loving woman who would extend a hand of fellowship and love to those in need without looking down on them derogatorily. And she is a woman who takes the time to take care of herself. Would you not be proud as a man to be a husband to such a woman as this?

The fact that this great woman that I have just described is your wife will automatically accrue respect for you in your society. You are considered blessed and even great to be a man to own such a prized possession. Just like a man who owns precious metals such as gold and diamonds is considered a rich man and is respected by all for is wealth, so is a man married to a wife of noble character considered blessed and respected by all. Solomon said in Proverbs 12:4 that “a wife of noble character is her husband’s crown” and he is not wrong at all on this saying.

I have been so blessed so far in this discoveries being made of a wife of noble character and I am beginning to score myself on this standard and realizing that there are still some areas where a need to do a little more. So what about you? Did you pass the test so far after scoring yourself based on these standards? I feel so grateful that this is coming at a time like this and I pray that this year will be our year of turn around for many wives. We will no longer listen to the lies of the devil. We will pour value into our marriage and husbands and watch God multiple our seed such that we will begin to glow in His glory.

The next post will be a roundup of the series on the wife of noble character. Until then, remain blessed.

The Wife of Noble Character 2

I thank God for the gift of another day and for the breath of life and I remain forever grateful. But I won’t forget to thank Him for your lives also and for what He is bringing about in your lives, homes and marriages through the messages shared on this blog.

So we continue on what we started yesterday; “the wife of noble character,” and I hope and pray that great lessons will be learned, hopes will be made alive in so many marriages by virtue of what is learned in this series in Jesus name.

Proverbs 31:13-19

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her task.

She sees that her trading is profitable, her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

Reading through the next seven verses after that which we studied yesterday, I now understand why Solomon would say that a wife of noble character who can find. The verses we are considering today speaks of the strength and the entrepreneurial ability of the wife of noble character.

We have recognized and appreciated the fact that a wife of noble character is a wife of value. She is a substance that has a great deal of value accrued to her, but what makes her a substance of value is what we will be learning from today’s verses.

Solomon says such a woman selects wool and flax and works with eager hands, so she is not a kind of woman that sits around and expects that all that she needs and wants will be laid on her laps effortlessly. She is a woman who is willing and ready to get her hands dirty in work and by so doing sowing seeds of her labor that will guarantee a harvest for her in due season.

She is like the merchant ships who will not eat the fruit of idleness but rather engage in productive activities with the purpose of providing food for her family. The Bible says she brings her food from afar and not that her food is brought to her from afar. She rises and go get her food from afar and then provide the same food for her family. And I hope and pray that those wives who stay on the word that a man who does not provide for his family is as good as an unbeliever and use that as an excuse to make the lives of their husbands a living hell will also read this and understand that a wife of noble character is one who goes very far to get her food which she in turn provides for her family.

Then we read that a wife of noble character considers a field and buys it, and then with her earning she plants a vineyard. When she considers a field, she is not running to her husband for help, she is standing on her feet and sorting out her issues and desires with her God such that the Bible says with her own earnings she plants a vineyard.

Going forward, she is not just planting the vineyard, but she is setting to work vigorously on the vineyard with strong arms for her task. She puts herself to work until her trade becomes profitable and she is sure that her lamp is not going out at night. She is not just planning for now, but working also for the future. Such is that value of a wife of noble character. So we understand why such a wife as this is scarce.

A lot of wives have relented in effort such that they are non-existence without the income of their husbands. They are comfortably relenting in effort because they have eaten the mediocre bread and have misconstrued the word of God that says that a man who does not provide for his family is as good as an unbeliever. But they forget that the same Bible said that “if a man will not work, he shall not eat” (2 Thessalonian 3:7-10).  

Some wives will fight their husbands tooth and nail because he is not giving them enough money and you then wonder if they are not created to work. There is no one person that God created without the talent to propel him/her to greatness and make good income for him/her. The only difference between a rich man and a poor is knowledge, the ability to discover and nurture your talent to grow and the ability to wait on God. The Bible says the gift of a man will make a way for him and brings him before great men (Proverbs 18:16).

Now we know some of the attributes of a wife of noble character that makes her a woman of value. She is one who is cloth with strength and dignity, a hardworking entrepreneur. She is woman who holds her family in high priority, thus bringing food for them from afar. She is a woman who nourishes her husband's life with value. A woman whose husband has full confidence in, not as a burden or a liability, but as a reliable suitable helper placed in his life by God.

So I ask, are you such a woman as described above? After this exhaustive insight I am also beginning to see a need for me to cry out to God on my life. To be a wife of noble character is a huge task but still attainable by the grace of God. But I want to implore the wives that as we begin a new year and as we continue to seek the face of God for things we want God to do for us this year, I pray that one of our request would be that the Lord will make us wives of noble character. It’s time for us to begin to sow positive seeds into our marriages that will yield for us not just here on earth, but also in heaven.

So we continue in the next post to make new discoveries about the wife of noble character. Until then, remain blessed.   

The Wife of Noble Character

Good day wonderfully gracious people, I trust that by the special grace of God we are doing well. It’s such a wonderful thing to be alive and more rewarding and fulfilling to be alive doing what God created us to do; fulfilling the purpose for which we have been created.

We have taken a couple of days to consider the "overseer husband" and I believe that by the special grace of God that series has breathe life into many marriages and the seed of the word of God in our marriages is beginning to take root and germinate.

There is the need to balance things out so that men do not feel that they have so much to do and prove to God in their marriage while the women just sit and be pampered. I just love the balanced outlook of the word of God. So we will take a couple of days to really consider the wife of Noble Character.

Quite a number of us know that Bible passage of Proverbs 31:10-31, but have we really taken time to properly study this 22 verses of the Bible in order to practice and live by its codes. I believe that a man who means business with his marriage will apply the Overseer Husband code to measure how well he is doing, but in the same way, a wife who desires to be regarded as a virtuous wife will measure herself by the code of the wife of Noble Character as found in Proverbs 31:10-21. 

Proverbs 31:10-12

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

The first aspect of the wife of noble character that I want us to consider and score ourselves by is in her relationship to her husband. The first thing that came to mind in these first three verses is that, not every wife is a wife of noble character because Solomon said “A wife of noble character who can find?” Just like precious stones such as diamonds, gold, silver, pearls, turquoise, emeralds are all scarce and costly to come by, so is a wife of noble character scarce of not common. She is of great value that is far above rubies. So there are wives everywhere, but wives of noble character are quite scarce. So you need to evaluate yourself as a wife; are you one of the generally available common wives or you are the wife of noble character of great value far more than rubies that a man will count himself blessed to have as a wife?

The second thing that I noticed about the woman who is addressed as a wife of noble character is that she is a wife who adds value to her husband. Solomon says that her husband has full confidence in her and she lacks nothing of value; the New King James Version translates Proverbs 31:11 as “The heart of her husband safely trust her; So he will have no lack of gain.” On accord of the value accrued to this woman which she pours constantly into the life of her husband, the Bible says her husband lacks nothing of value; and NKJV says he will have no lack of gain.

Now a man who is in possession of great quantity of diamonds or gold or emerald or any other form of previous stone cannot be said to be poor. In the same manner, a man who has a wife of noble character as his wife is a very blessed man, he cannot be said to lack value or gain. There are many wives on the face of the earth, but the wife of noble character is of great value and she is scarce; are you one of such wives who is of great value and not commonly found? Are you a wife who has created a life of value for her husband such that he lacks nothing of value?

Verse 12 says, “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life,” it is often said that behind every successful man is a woman, but I will say that behind every successful man is a wife of noble character. She brings in good all the days of her life. She does not just bring him good once in a while; she does not just support her husband and when she feel the investment is not yielding a favorable return she backs out, but come what may she brings him good as long as she has the breath of God is in her and her heart is still beating. That is the value-add that comes from a wife of noble character.

Proverbs 19:13 says, “A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” So while the wife of noble character is a wife who pours value into the life of her husband, a quarrelsome wife is one who is a constant dripping in the life of her husband. Rather than add value to her husband, she drips value out of him. Which kind of wife are you? The Bible has only given us two categories of wives and they are: 1) the wife of noble character who is of great value and adds value to her husband and is not easy to come by, and 2) the quarrelsome wife who is a constant dripping in the life of her husband. There is no intermediate wife; you are either noble or quarrelsome. 

Now this is the litmus test for us as wives; when you want to get how well you have performed as a wife, check out the life of your husband. If he lacks value or gain then you have not faired well as a wife because you have not poured value into him, you are a constant dripping in his life. A husband who is doing great and of great value is so because his wife has poured her value into him; she is a wife of noble character.

I hope this is coming as a wakeup call for us as wives. I am blown away by this post and I pray that in the name of Jesus, the lives and homes of many will begin to receive a touch from God in this year 2017 in Jesus name. So we will continue of the series of the wife of noble character in next post. Until then, remain blessed and remain in the will of God for your lives and marriages in Jesus name.  

The Cry of a Frustrated Wife

It’s another new day with new grace and fresh supply of mercy, favor and grace from the living God. It’s so comforting to know that God never runs out of supply despite how many times we approach Him. So please feel free to approach the throne of grace as many times as you need and have to, there is abundance of grace available at all times.

Here is another story taken from the book “Marriage: God’s Rules of Engagement”, I pray it blesses you and you find valuable lessons from it for your marriage and home.

Issue

My husband is a businessman and for some time now the business environment has not been favorable and that has affect his business in no small measure. He runs for days and sometimes months without having any money to give for the provisions in the home. That has shifted on me the responsibility of the breadwinner and this I carry out in a very humble manner, but it appears that there is nothing I do that pleases my husband. The more I pure myself into making ends meet in the house, the more he complains and nags. Sincerely I am fed up. I have tried to support him the best way I know how but his lack of appreciation is really putting me off.

Response

First, I will commend you for taking up this responsibility without any complain. The Lord who made you a helper in the life of your husband will uphold and strengthen your finances until your husband gets back on his feet. But your assignment does not terminate at the point of providing for your family, it extends to the point of upholding your husband in prayer and interceding on his behalf and breaking every stronghold of stagnation in his financial life until you see result.

From what I can perceive of this situation, your husband is not happy, neither is he comfortable at the fact that he is unable to fulfill his God given responsibility as a man and a provider for his family. His ego is also bruised and the devil has infiltrated his thought so that he sees you as a competitor rather than a helper. He sees you doing what he should be doing and he is unable to help himself. Rather than appreciate your assistance he is angry that you are taking over his role. He might even be anticipating you will not to submit to his authority now that he does not have money. These I believe are some of the issues your husband is having to deal with and unable to share with you hence his reactions.

But that said, we seek solution and by the grace of God, solution we will get. Based on the truth of the word of God a man is the head of the family, he is to take care of his family and provide for them and so you will start to pray that God will open heavens for your husband so that he can take his rightful place as the shepherd of the family and that resources will be made available to him to perform his duties and responsibilities as the head of the family. If you need to sow seed on his behalf, please do and make it a fat one too. If you have to have go on vigils for him, please do loose the sleep and don’t stop praying for him until you begin to see the hand on God on his finances.

While at that, don’t get tired of being the helper in his life, even in financial matters. When the harvest comes you will reap the fruit of what you have sown. Continue to be humble and make every effort to erase the fears that might be building in him that you might eventually stop being submissive to him. He needs the reassurance to cope.

Don’t bother fighting your husband; he is just as worked up as you are. Remember we wrestle not against flesh and blood. The battle for peace, love and abundance in your home and marriage is between you and the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly realms. So you fight this not as a physical fight, but as a spiritual battle putting on the whole armor of God and you can be sure that victory is yours because at the name of Jesus every knee must bow and all tongues must proclaim that Jesus is Lord and you are complete in Christ Jesus who is head over all principality and power.