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Tuesday, 17 January 2017

God's Law for Marriage 2

It’s another glorious day and another glorious reason to thank the Lord. Big of all, it’s another talk day as we make effort to a better life beginning with a better marital experience.

So without any long intro, we will continue our gist on God’s rules for marriage. We started with God's rules for the wives in the last post and today we will look at the rules for the husbands. In doing that we will be going back to the theme scriptures of the last post were we found God’s rules for marriage.

Ephesians 5:22-30, 33
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Colossians 3:18-19
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

1 Peter 3:1-7
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine cloths. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed her Abraham and called him master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life. So hat nothing will hinder your prayers.

It feels so very good to be the head, being the head or the leader of a team accrues some level of power to it and it’s so easy for pride to set in and overwhelm a person when you know that you call the shots and you have people who are answerable to you; they take instructions from you and obey just as you have instructed.

But what is easily forgotten is that with such power comes huge responsibility. For those people who are answerable to you, you are also accountable for them. For anything that goes wrong you take the blame whereas you might not necessarily take the accolade for things that goes right. In truth, "uneasy lies the head that wears the crown."

The first thing I noticed concerning God’s instruction to the men is that as a husband he is the head of his wife and then the entire family. That automatically makes him accountable for his wife and his entire family. The wellbeing of his wife and his entire family are his responsibility; the growth and development of his wife and his entire family both physically and spiritually is his responsibility.
That is why when you see a woman who has added a considerable amount of body weight after marriage and maybe giving birth, it is often said that her husband is taking good care of her (even if that is not be the case). And you will also notice that in the Old Testament God is always calling on His men to hold fast to the His laws, and the same laws should not depart from their mouths but that they should teach those laws to their child and their entire household. That is God calling on the men to develop their household spiritually. Now you understand that the development of the wife and the entire household is the responsibility of the husband.
But the major rule given to the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Quite a number of men love their wives, but just a few of them love their wives as Christ loves the church; that is the unselfish, unconditional, sacrificial love that keeps on loving even to the point of death.
This love that God speaks of in this rule to the husband has no condition attached to it; it’s not the kind of love you have for your wife because she respects and obeys you; it’s not the kind of love that she earns as a result of her submission to you; it’s not the kind of love that you show when you are in public and your wife is glowing like a masterpiece of all of God’s creation; it’s not the kind of love that requires that your wife knows how to cook delicious meals and her presentation is on point; it’s not the kind of love that you show because your wife is the managing director of her organization and she is at the peak of her career. This is a kind of love that requires no clause and no sentiment attached to it. This love is without prerequisite, it's a love you just give and keep giving despite all her shortfalls in the same manner Christ loves the church.
It is a love that is pure and real and a love that is worth dying for. A love that is diligent and will keep on loving even when it gets nothing in return. Christ is the epitome of this kind of love; He is the leading example of this kind of love. And if by your own strength you are unable to give this kind of love, then go Jesus, with Him in your life running the show to love like this becomes very possible for you.
God is not going to drop the standard of love required by the husband to his wife just because the husband is unable to meet up, but rather God will lift up the husband to the approved standard of His ideal husband so that he is able to match up with what is required of him.
But should a man keep on loving a wife who does not respect or submit to him; a wife who is too demanding and never satisfied or contented with the best available; always taking and never giving, a wife who is lazy and cannot lift a finger but expects that her husband slaves himself for her? 
Well like I mentioned in the last post, a marriage covenant is tripartite covenant arrangement and everyone has a defined role to play in this triangular relationship. The role of the husband is to head the wife and the family and his rules of engagement is love unconditionally, and the rule of engagement for the wife is to submit to her husband as to the Lord and then God is the overseer of that union and judge of both of them.  God never fails and He is never late and He is always just. So when either the husband or wife fails in their rules of engagement, God punishes the offender after much room has been given for repentance, and he judges according to the weight of the offence.
If a man decides to take action against his wife’s misbehavior, he is going beyond his scope of engagement in this triangular relationship and infringing into God’s area of engagement and even that comes with its consequences. So also it is that failure for the woman to perform her role well and obey her own rules of engagement in marriage comes with its consequences. 
The ability of the man to obey his own rules of engagement in marriage is not found in the actions or inactions of his wife. Though it is his wife that the man has been asked to love unconditionally, but this love is not subject to what the wife does or does not. So when God calls the man to account over his failure to obey the rules of engagement for his marriage, the man cannot give his wife as an excuse for failure. When as a husband you fulfill your own side of the covenant by obeying the rules of engagement and your wife fulfills her own side of the covenant by obeying her own rules of engagement, your marriage is at peace and there is nothing for God to judge, just a peaceful union for Him to protect and guard.

May the Lord bless our homes and marriages in Jesus name.

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