Will God Tell You to Divorce Your Spouse?

I have watched a handful of social media Reels and Shorts and listened to women say categorically that God told them to file for a divorce. Because I am not one to argue on social media, I thought to bring the issue here. And this is something that burns deep in my spirit and causes unrest within me.

I don’t know which God spoke to these women, but one thing I am most certain of is that God will not contradict Himself. Psalm 138:2 says, “God honors His word above all His names.” So, more than what anyone thinks they have heard from God, His written word supersedes it. If what you have heard does not align with what is in the Bible, then maybe it was more of your emotions talking to you and not God.

In Malachi 2:16, the Bible tells us in plain terms that God hates divorce; in Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus reiterates this truth when He said at the beginning God made them male and female, and He joined them together, and so they are no longer two but one, and what God has joined together, let not man separate. Further, in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Paul says, as a command from God and not him, a wife is not to separate from her husband, and if she does, she is to remain unmarried, and a husband is not to divorce his wife. So, when it comes to the issue of marriage, these are the words of God which He holds in honor more than His name.

If you happen to be in a marriage that is abusive and it is affecting you mentally, emotionally, or physically negatively, and you don’t have the strength of faith to remain in it, and you feel the safe thing for you to do is walk away for your own sanity and mental well-being, that is okay to say. But to come to the public space and claim God told you to divorce even though you wanted to work on that marriage is a lie, it is misleading, and it is a sin before God and man.

When God says He hates divorce, He did not give an exception. And if your marriage is bad and you are receptive to the leading of the Holy Spirit without the hardness of your heart, God will heal and restore your marriage. He is a God that is not bound by impossibilities, and nothing is difficult for Him to do. But people divorce because of the hardness of their hearts, like Jesus said in Matthew 19:8, and not because God told them to divorce.

One of the characteristics of God that we know is that He is a faithful God who keeps His covenant (Deuteronomy 7:9). As His children, formed and fashioned in His image and likeness, we are designed to keep covenants, just like our Father in Heaven, in Whose image and likeness we have been formed.

Marriage is a covenant, and divorce is an act of breaking a covenant, which is not a characteristic of God, and so if we are truly God’s children, we will hate what He hates and love what He loves. And even when we are in a tight position where we think our strength is failing us on the assignment of marriage and keeping that covenant, the Throne of God and His presence are the place to run to, and not the divorce court. But, if we choose to divorce, we should not sound righteous by telling a lie that God says we should divorce.

If you have done what God hates, and He decides to show you mercy, it does not make divorce right. God hates divorce, but does not hate the divorcee. Just like God showing mercy to a thief does not make stealing right. And so, it is crucial not to misunderstand or misinterpret mercy for permission.

I agree that some serious-minded godly people who eventually went through a divorce would have prayed to God for His intervention, some have waited on God, and He just seemed to be quiet on the issue of their marriage. So, they assumed the silence of God as permission to divorce.

But was God silent? Or was it that they did not recognise His voice in the flood of emotional chaos that they were battling with? Another possibility is that what the silent whisper of God was saying to them was a sharp contrast from what they were expecting to hear. And so, they concluded it wasn’t God, it was their minds providing an excuse for what they know is wrong, and just giving an excuse for the wrong done to them by their spouse.

I say these things because I have been there before. I know the feeling. I write glowingly about my husband today, but honestly, many years ago, it wasn’t so. There was a time in my marriage when I had begged God desperately for permission to walk out of my marriage. When I was confronted with the truth that God hates divorce, I begged Him for death. And it was that bad.

But rather than permit me, because He is a covenant-keeping God, and would not bend His rules for me or contract Himself and go back on His words, He gave me a strategy to repair and restore my marriage. For every prayer that I made, and every one of my cries to God about my marriage, the response I got was to submit to my husband as to the Lord.

It did not make sense at that time. I heard the voice in my spirit, and when I opened my bible, the scripture stared me in the face. I was the born-again one between my husband and me; I was the one who prayed more, who had a relationship with God, and yet I was the one the Lord was telling to give more.  

I was pained, I argued with God, it didn’t feel fair. But the Lord told me point-blank that if I wanted His intervention in my marriage, I needed to do as He says. I reluctantly succumbed and prayed that He teach me the kind of submission that He was talking about. Up till that time, I assumed I submitted to my husband, until the Lord showed me that what I had for my husband was just respect and love, but not submission.

I learned to do precisely what my husband instructs me to do, even when it did not make sense. Initially, it was tough, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, submission became my pattern, and God defended that submission and protected me through it.

But my submission became a tool in God’s hands for the healing of my marriage. Over time, I began to see positive changes in my husband’s attitude towards me. He began to show more love and care, and he started paying more attention to me. It’s been over 12 years now, and my marriage is healed.

I will not tell you that misunderstandings don’t exist any longer in my marriage, but the presence of God lives in it. The Lord restored what was once broken. What looked like the only possible solution, a divorce or death, is now a beautiful union; same marriage, same husband. The only thing that shifted was my willingness to walk with God on the road to restoration. I did not harden my heart.

I conclude with this: this is my own story, this is my experience and my reality. But some stories would not end like mine, and that does not make them less of God’s children than me. God’s grace and abundance are available to us all to the capacity of our ability. Whatever your own story or experience, that is what is real to you; God’s mercy is what we all enjoy. But if you find yourself entangled in divorce, you are still loved by God.

Nevertheless, God’s mercy over a divorcee does not mean He permitted it or is happy you did it. But He loves you all the same. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

Who is a wife

Some of the many issues wives face in marriage are hinged on the fact that they really don’t know who they are and their role in marriage, other than the acquired definition of a wife from tradition, society, and unhealthy norms. But based on the author of marriage – God, we need to know the true meaning of a wife and her assignment and role in marriage.

Genesis 2:18-25 describes this role quite clearly. At the beginning of this scripture, God, who created everything and said it was good, observed that it was not good for the man to be alone. Of all that God had made, He could not find a suitable helper for the man, so He created a helper from the man for the man.

So, God created a woman from Adam, and He presented her to him as his suitable helper, and she became his wife. Of the many assignments that a wife gets to perform, her primary assignment is to be a suitable helper to her husband. So based on the truth of the bible, a wife is a suitable helper to her husband.

When we say a wife is a suitable helper to her husband, this can be viewed in various contexts. A wife as a helper is not a maid; instead, she is a powerhouse of value that helps in the fulfillment of her husband’s destiny. She is an embodiment of God’s favor in the life of her man. She is God’s favor personified in her husband’s life. (Proverbs 18:22)

The success of a wife in her God given assignment is tied to the quality of help she can provide and contribute to her husband’s life. But her value is not derived from her husband, but from God; her strength does not come from her husband but from God. She pours from the value she receives from God into her husband through the fulfillment of her God given assignment as a suitable helper to her husband.  

If a wife understands that her value, strength, and worth are not derived from her husband, but from God, then she would know that her self-esteem and self-worth are not from her husband but from God. That said, if your husband is not the source of your strength, he should not be the drain of your worth and your value. No matter the disposition of your husband towards you, you should not allow him to drain your value because he is not the source of it.

If we understand that the value, strength, and worth of a wife are not derived from her husband but from God, then it is worthy of note that the quality of help that we give to our husbands as an assignment from God to us should not be determined by the behavior of our husbands. Because your husband is bad does not translate to you being a bad wife. Two wrongs never make a right.

Your assignment as a wife comes from God; God measures the quality of your performance on that assignment and your scorecard. God does your appraisal on the job. It is to God that you will give account, so having a bad husband will not be a good enough excuse to God for being a bad wife.

It is important to note that as long as God is satisfied with the quality of your help as a wife, your husband has no choice but to fall in line and behave in the manner that God instructs him to act towards you, or else, he has God to answer to. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 10:6 that every disobedience will be punished when your own obedience is complete. 1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands to treat their wives well so that their prayers may not be hindered. So, you see that God will not allow you to provide valuable help to your husband in vain.     

There are many tools at the disposal of a wife to use in successfully fulfilling her God given assignment as the suitable helper to her husband. Some of those tools include wisdom, understanding, discernment, and many more as the Lord reveals them by His grace. But the most important of these tools is submission.

We cannot overemphasize the importance of submission in marriage. But in today’s blog, my focus is not on submission itself, but on how you submit. As a wife, are you submitting as a weakling who needs to be supervised closely or as a powerhouse full of value and as someone loaded with intelligence and wisdom?

In a lot of job postings, one essential requirement is the ability to work under minimal supervision and to have problem-solving skills. As a wife, can your husband entrust you with a task and you deliver on it with exceptional perfection? If you have been able to do this multiple times, there is no doubt that you would have earned the respect of your husband numerous times.

I know some men can be overbearing; some men are obsessed with micromanaging their wives as a show of strength, and sometimes due to ego issues. Some men find it hard to take advice from their wives, probably because they see her as incapable of delivering value. As wives, how can we deal with this and correct the trend?

My first go-to place in a situation such as this is the throne of God. Without arguing or trying to correct any notion my husband has, I will first go back to God, Who is my source of value. At some point, your spouse will bring up issues of concern in your conversations every now and then. This is not the time to offer solutions or render opinions. Those issues of concern would be your prayer points.

You would want God to render solutions and strategies through you. When you are speaking, you won’t be doing so from a place of limited knowledge, but you will be a mouthpiece for God so that your opinions and advice have their roots in God. When your husband dismisses your advice and runs with his own approach, and the problem is not solved, he’ll return to your advice, and then the problem gets solved because that solution was not originally yours, but it came from God through you in the place of prayer. And then, he’ll start to trust your judgement and respect your views. That is how the value of a wife is built in marriage.

When this happens multiple times, and the efficacy of your problem-solving skills is tested and proven to be good, your spouse begins to trust you, rely on your advice, and get vulnerable with you more. You become a safe place for him. You would have earned his respect not by simply being his wife, but by the value you have been able to pour into his life.

So, I will conclude with this: a wife is a suitable helper to her husband. To be a helper, she will have to be a problem-solver. To effectively be a problem-solver, she must have her roots deep in God. She must realize and know for sure that she is limited in herself, and so she needs the unlimited God to be successful in her assignment. God measures her scorecard; her value is derived from God, and her husband’s character is not an excuse to fail God in her assignment as a wife. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

Fighting Distraction? Let’s Discuss that Now

Have you ever woken up and set out to get some things done, and you never get around to doing them? Like you have your goals all set out, you have a roadmap to how to get things done, you have planned and prepared, even made some small financial commitments, but you never get to find the time to accomplish those things? If that is you, welcome to my world.

For whatever reason, some of the things that are supposed to be important to me end up being the things I hardly have the time for. I am super busy doing other things, but not those things that are designed for my personal growth. And that has been a genuine concern for me and a major prayer point today.

Paul in Romans 7:15 says, “What he is doing, he does not understand. What he wills to do, he is not doing, but what he hates is what he finds himself doing.” And to me, this is very relatable. I have my leading from God; I have prayed, I have received the strategy, the Lord has shown me the roadmap to where I should be going, but the problem is taking the step.

For someone going somewhere destined for great things, something like this may not be strange in your life. The devil can’t stop you from praying; he can’t stop God from speaking to you and giving you a strategy to greatness, but he can flood your life with distractions that will prevent you from accomplishing all that God has called you to be.  

The tricky part of all these is that your distractions are legitimate activities that will come up. They are things that feel so important that they will not look like distractions. They are in your to-do list; it’s just the priority that is the question. By the end of the day, you would have taken care of the bottom items of your list while leaving the top items undone.

One of the most significant inhibitors of growth in the life of a man is not a lack of strategy or lack of skill; it is the excessive presence of distractions. If the devil will not stop your skill accusation, and cannot stop your prayers, he will stop you by distracting your attention and derailing you from your path.

Let me make this a little more real to you. Let’s say you have skills in a particular area, you have looked for your job, but it’s not forthcoming; you have prayed, and the Lord says, “Don’t bother to get a job.” He goes ahead to show you your path to greatness, given the skill set that you possess.  

And then people around you start to tell you that you have not applied enough. You just can’t give up on applying. Then, every 15 minutes, you get job alerts from the many job platforms that you have created alerts on. The time you should be using to build on the strategy the Lord has given you, you are using to build and rebuild resumes and create cover letters, for job applications that will come back with the sentence “We are sorry, we will not be moving forward with you.”

The question now is not about diligence or focus, but what you are diligent at and what your focus is on. The devil has flooded your heart and life with distractions that you are heading in the wrong direction, far from the goal that God has shown to you.

Sometimes it comes with tiny contrary ideas, more like your own shortcut version of what God has laid out before you. In some cases, you have told yourself you need money to start off. You spend so much time trying to raise the capital with no success and with plenty of frustration that you lose sight of what God has told you and the direction He has asked you to take.

If this is your story as much as it is mine, then we need something more than diligence to walk through the doors of abundance that the Lord has opened to us. If God has blessed you with His promise to bless you and He has given you the blueprint to your road to success, don’t bother adding to or removing from that blueprint; just follow it blindly. God will lead you to where His grace will not lie in wait for you. And this is one of the steps to combat distractions.

Challenges come in various forms; it could be a closed door in your pursuit of a breakthrough, or a health issue,  a financial issue, a marital issue, or even a family issue. But know now that distraction is also a big challenge that should be dealt with, with as much seriousness and prayers, as you would deal with all these other issues that I have mentioned.

Distractions prevent you from hitting your goal and achieving greatness. It inhibits your growth and prosperity and leads to frustration, which leads to emotional issues, and then mental issues and possibly death. This is how dangerous distractions can be.

When people complain of stagnancy in life, it could be as a result of a lack of knowledge (God says, “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6), it could as a result of your inability to hear from God to know where He is leading you, it could God training you and preparing you for something great that requires you to wait, or it could be a result of distractions.  

The problem of distraction is one that you need to pray hard and seek the help of God about. It is a very subtle destroyer, a time waster, and a destiny killer. You should not take the issue of distractions lightly if you are someone faced with that challenge. The devil uses distractions to steal your time and keep you stuck in one place.

Today’s blog speaks to me as much as to anyone who finds this topic relatable, and it has been a challenge that I have been praying about. But God is faithful; He is not leaving me to fight this battle of distraction alone. Because I have so much that I am responsible for, I get overwhelmed and I feel the burnout. For me, every task is a priority. But God has not abandoned me yet, and the management of my time is one thing I have handed over to Him, and I can see His hand helping me.

Look around you and observe the trend in your life. You may be just a step to your breakthrough, and the only thing the devil is using to hold you down is distraction. You are skilled, productive, and strategic, yet you are not hitting the mark because your mind is flooded with noise.

Sifting through the noise can be a huge task. Everything is important; you don’t want to appear selfish or self-seeking, but too many tasks are slowing down your momentum. This is a big issue that is worth praying about.

Even the battle of your time is not yours to fight; let God fight it for you, and just relax and feel the noise quietened around you with peace that helps you focus on the items of utmost priority in your life and growth. He is doing it for me, I know He’ll do it for you too. That peace for focus comes from Jesus. John 14:27 tells us that Jesus has given us peace. If you don’t feel it yet, go ahead and ask again in prayer. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

How to Operate in the Realm Where Nothing Holds You Down

When the Bible tells us that there is nothing impossible for God to do, have you experienced that truth at any point in your life? Today’s blog is just a reaffirmation that as long as you remain a child of God, and you trust God completely, you should experience and enjoy His protocol-breaking power. When God is ready to move, protocols bow to His will.

There are a handful of times people tell me things like “this is the way it is designed to be,” or “this is the policy,” or “you can’t move beyond this level because that is the way it is designed to be”. When I hear such things being said, I hold my breath and refrain from argument. What they are saying is not wrong, but they only say what they know. If they know and experience better, they will say better.

I have learned in this world that there are facts and there are truths. The facts are designed, arranged, and controlled by men. It is the reality, and it is not a lie. So, those who hold unto facts are not wrong. That is their reality, and they have not sinned by holding onto reality. Maybe they may be short-changing themselves by their short-sightedness. But they have not done anything wrong.

But some people have built courage based on their knowledge of God and their relationship with God to press on for more than just the mediocre level. They are not denying the policy or protocol; they have determined within themselves not to be limited by protocol or policy. What stops others will not stop them, and they are moving and pressing towards their goal, irrespective of boundaries set by men and not by God.

Job 22:28-29 says something profound. It says, “You shalt decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee: And the light shall shine upon thy ways. When men are cast down, then thou shalt say, there is lifting up; And He shall save the humble person.” I so love this scripture, and I believe it's not a strange scripture to the ears of many, but only a few experience the efficacy and power of this scripture.  

Those who align with facts and stick to them have a very good excuse for failure. They accept their fate and do not challenge the status quo. For them, that is just the way it should be. They make friends with their limitations and never push back. The system is designed that way, and so nothing can be done to change it. Guess what, they never grow.

But for a very few, they can take the NO from God, but not from man. When the world is saying there is a casting down, they know that things that are seen and experienced in the physical have their root in the spiritual realm. While not arguing with what is seen, they take their battles to the spiritual realm and begin to upturn protocols and change patterns from the spiritual realm.

Guess what, they have the authority to do so, and it is given to them by their Father in heaven. Job 22:28 says, “they will decree a thing, and it shall be established.” They don’t just accept things as they are if such a thing is not working for them. They push boundaries from the spirit. They overturn human laws from the spirit. They don’t just sit still; they challenge what is challenging them because what they decree is established. For these ones, nothing is impossible for them.

There is a story in the Bible that explains what I am trying to get across. In Matthew 14:22-33, we will find the story of how Peter walked on water. If we say Jesus walked on water, it will not be too much of a big deal because this is Jesus, the Savior, the Son of God, the Messiah, the Christ. But who is Peter? He is just a fisherman, fortunate to be among the disciples of Jesus.

There were eleven other disciples in that boat, but it was only Peter who was bold enough to want to experience the impossible. While others watched on, Peter spoke, made a request, and walked on water like Jesus. While others in the boat accepted their fate and relied on the fact that it was impossible to walk on water, which is not a lie, Peter walked on water. He didn’t walk just on water; he walked with courage and faith and got what he asked for.   

Let me bring it home a little and share my own impossible experience with you.

There was a time, many years ago, when my husband and I were talking, and he mentioned that his job title and role were not at the same level as his salary scale when compared to his counterparts in other regions of his organisation. His salary and level were a little below the average, and for him, there was a good reason why it was so. And I just responded to him passively, not to worry that he would soon be promoted.

He took his time to school me and tell me how that is not possible. He gave me enough reasons why that can’t happen. He works there, not me, so I don’t have any moral justification to argue with him otherwise. But that word impossible was what I would contend with. Not with my husband, but protocols and systems must be rearranged to favor me because I am a child of God.

So, I began to pray. For many days, I prayed for my husband’s promotion like my life depended on it. Then one day, after I had stopped praying on it and even forgotten we even spoke about promotion, my husband called me to share the news. Someone somewhere in their organisation’s head office in another country, on another continent, took note of the fact that his salary grade and role did not align and immediately called for his promotion.

His boss was bypassed, his country's HR Director was bypassed, and just the person in charge of staff salary in the Human Resources department was called upon to re-adjust his salary for his new level, prepare a new salary package for him, and submit for approval with immediate effect. It was the personnel handling salary that informed him about what was happening behind the scenes (my husband never knew), and then he called me. He said Derin, you said they will promote me, and I argued. That was one of the moments I was super proud of the God I call Father.

In Matthew 19:26, Jesus tells us that with man, some things can be impossible, but with God, nothing is ever impossible. And then Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can do all things through Christ. Those who are in Christ and know His power will live above impossibilities because, though they are limited in themselves, Christ, through Whom they do all things, is not limited by impossibilities. And so, they are not limited by impossibilities.

More so in Isaiah 44:26, the God with Whom nothing is impossible says, He is the God who confirms the word of His servants, and performs the counsel of His messengers. Those who know their God and have built a deep connection with God will speak, and God will confirm it and even perform it.

So, now you will understand why some stay with facts and others push the limits and challenge the status quo, and then win while doing it. There is the fact, but then there is the truth. Those who stay on the facts may remain there, but those who stay on the truth they know about their God are those who do exploits. Remember what Daniel said in Daniel 11:32

So, I will finish off by saying, the facts are real. They are what they are, which is that they are the facts. They are based on human reality; they are limited, and so they are limiting. But there is a truth that sets free; that is based not on human reality but on the efficacy of Who God is, and of the truth of God’s impossibility breaking power. Those who rely on this truth are strong, and they do exploits; they move boundaries and operate in the realm of possibilities. They are not satisfied with their fate; they shape their destinies in the realm of the spirit.

If you belong to the category of protocol breakers and destiny builders, I congratulate you. If you are tired of staying small, tired of the limitations holding you down, and you want to be set free, the first step is knowing your God (and I will categorically say that the God you need to know is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ). Also know that you can only know God through Jesus. Spend as much time as you can, knowing your God, because it is those who know their God that can do exploits. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

Submission does not translate to suppression

Some husbands are handfuls in character. And if the man is already distracted by the presence of another woman in his life, who is competing for his attention alongside his wife, then it's another ball game entirely. This is not a general rule, but prayerfully, it is a viable strategy in marriage — a woman (wife included) is supposed to be sought after and not the other way round.

As a wife, you are supposed to love your husband, care for him, respect him, and revere him, but don’t be his foot mat. It is also important to note, as a wife, that your value is not derived from your husband or an external entity, but from you and your God. Even with your husband, the portion of value you place on yourself is the value your husband would place on you.

It is true that in marriage, you die to self, and as wives, we often sacrifice a lot of ourselves for the good of the home (and that is precisely what I do). But in doing so, you need to reserve a portion of self-respect and self-esteem for yourself. You need to position yourself in a way that your husband will be continually seeking after you, no matter how old the marriage is, and not the other way round.  

This is not to say that you should switch roles with your husband and become the breadwinner, thinking you can earn his respect with money. But this is a strategy that you will need to pray to God to help you develop and implement appropriately. You will need to build your value in areas of your life that will earn the respect and admiration of your husband the most. That type of value add will only come from God.

I speak of God in this matter because doing this by yourself might lead to burnout and frustration, especially if your husband is distracted already, and there is someone somewhere that he is unintentionally comparing you with. If your husband complains about your dressing today, and you go all out to change your entire wardrobe, you can be most certain that it will be your hair tomorrow, and your shoes the day after, and then your fingers a few weeks after. Bottom line, he will always have something about you that is not enough.

The more you strive to please him, the more he changes the goal post to switch demands. Over time, you will get frustrated, and guess what, it will be your fault. Some spouses are perfectionists at gaslighting. And I use spouses because it's not just the husbands who gaslight.

With God in your marriage, you can never get it wrong. If you are the kind who solely depends on God and not on your own understanding, you can be very sure that even in dealing with your spouse, he will give you the perfect strategy for every event in every second of your marriage. Even when you quarrel with your spouse, He will show you how to iron things out without love diminishing in your marriage. If you get Him involved.

But your intimacy with God is not a gateway to insubordination in your marriage. That you get your strategy from God is not an excuse to throw submission in marriage into the trash can. God is not an author of confusion, and He won’t give you a strategy that will go against His word. If your approach is contrary to the truth of the Bible, that strategy is not from God.

Whatever strategy the Lord gives you as a tool in building your marriage, while not losing your personal value or self-esteem, does not include a lack of submission or disrespect for your husband as the God ordained head over your life. In all things, God will not author confusion in your marriage and will never contradict Himself.

There are wives who, by virtue of their spirituality, have over-valued themselves and concluded that submitting to an unbelieving husband is not what God is talking about in Ephesians 5:22, or Colossians 3:18, or 1Peter 3:1. When God gave His command to submit, He did not give us the category of husbands to submit to and those not to submit to. As long as the man is your husband, God's command to you is to submit to him.

Some husbands have concluded that their wives are stubborn. This so-called stubbornness has been the root of fights and quarrels in marriages. These husbands feel so belittled by their wives simply because she thinks she knows more than they do, and would only do what she wants to do, not what the husband tells her to. In her world, that command from her husband makes no sense. She would conclude that she had prayed, and God told her to do it some other day.

Well, it was not God that told you to disobey your husband. You did that on your own instinct. God will not tell us in His word to submit to our husbands and then tell you singularly in your spirit to disobey your own husband. That is why 1John 4:1 encourages us to test all spirits. Is that spirit speaking to you from God?

Some husbands lose love for their wives and become hostile simply because of the wife's disobedience. If God calls for submission, then He wants a total submission. Even when your husband’s instruction does not make sense to you, pray and ask God for His leading. He will handle the situation so that you won’t disobey your husband, and the issue will be resolved with you still in submission.

Let me share a true-life story as an illustration of what I am talking about. A couple had two children, ages 4 and 2 years old. The economic situation at hand could not afford them having more children, but the wife got pregnant, and all hell broke loose. The husband was distraught and demanded that the wife terminate the pregnancy immediately.

The wife is a born-again Christian and knew that an abortion meant murder. She was not going to do it, but guess what, she must submit to her husband as unto God. She was dragging the matter, and a strain began to build between them. The husband will not speak to her for days and treats her like complete rubbish. It was as though she impregnated herself. 

She took the matter to God and began to pray. She would cry to God for strength and strategy on how to handle it. She eventually called their family doctor, who refused to carry out the abortion. He offered to speak to the husband and told him to allow the wife to have this one child, and afterwards, to do proper birth control. But he refused and insisted that the pregnancy be terminated.

Over time, the Lord spoke to the wife while she was praying. He gave her the strategy that solved the problem. She was to agree to the husband’s demands on condition that he would be in the theatre and oversee the abortion as it was done. The wife said that since she would be put to sleep, the husband needed to be there to ensure nothing was taken out of her body wrongfully.

To this condition, the husband declined. He could not stay there and watch the abortion being done. So, the wife also said she was not ready to die; if the husband would not wait to watch the abortion being done, and she would not be conscious to see what would be done, and the doctor she felt safe with had declined doing the abortion, then she was left with no choice but to carry the baby.

The husband had no choice but to accept. The matter was settled, and the wife carried the pregnancy to term and delivered their third child. But the beautiful twist to this story is that while the wife was about 7 months gone in the pregnancy, the husband saw a job advert in the newspapers. He applied for the job and gave the application to his wife to help him post at the post office.

She took the application, prayed over it, and posted it. A couple of weeks later, the husband was called for an interview. After a series of interviews and negotiations, he was called to come pick up his offer of employment letter. At the same time, his wife was in labor, ready to deliver their child, whom he had earlier insisted should be terminated. The child brought good fortune for his father.

One lesson I want us to take away from this true-life story is that the wife never insisted on disobeying her husband. She knew what he asked her to do was wrong, but she deferred to God instead. She showed obedience by approaching their family doctor, but all the while, she didn’t stop praying.

Genesis 20 shares a similar story, where Abraham asked his wife Sarah to lie that she was his sister to avoid death. It was a useless instruction that made no sense, but guess what, Sarah obeyed. She was taken away by Abimelech, the king, to be his wife, until God intervened.

As a wife, you will build your marriage on the bedrock of God’s instruction for you, and you will have a beautiful marriage. Anything short of God, obeying His word and holding unto Him, is not guaranteed in marriage. 2 Corinthians 10:6 tells us that God is ready to punish every disobedience in our lives when our obedience is complete. The catch there is that your own obedience needs to be complete first before every disobedience against you is dealt with.

In conclusion, two things we need to take away from this blog post: first, that as a wife, you need to find your value outside of your husband, but within yourself in God. God is and should always be your source of strength, and the source of your value-building strategy needs to come from God alone. And the second is that your growth is not a ticket for your insubordination and lack of respect for your husband. With God, you can build the best home and anchor a thriving marriage without losing yourself in achieving that. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

What Can Happen When God Says No

Sometimes, praying and receiving from God requires a waiting season. This is a time when anxiety builds up and faith is tested. There is always a sense of urgency that makes it look like something crazy will happen if God does not come through. But in the waiting season, days may turn to weeks, and then to months, and then to years. And still, nothing changes, and the world is still oval, or should I say it is still circular in shape (whatever the scientist had said it is).

But there is another dimension to prayer and receiving from God that I believe is also familiar. That is when you have prayed and believed and exercised great faith, and God says NO to your prayers. Yet His thoughts towards you are not evil, but peace to give you a future and hope. So, in today’s blog, we will discuss what happens when God says NO to your prayers.

Some years back, my husband was eyeing a position in the company where he works. As far as he was concerned, he was a perfect fit for the job role. As a matter of fact, his boss had mentioned to him that he was being considered for the role, and he needed to prepare for an interview, as that was a placement policy in his organization. There was no handpicking into job roles allowed.

We prayed together. I sharpened my faith, and we believed God for the best. He also prepared for the interview and gave it his best shot. By the time he did the interview, he was confident he had gotten the job because everything went well. The feedback he got from those who interviewed him was great. And then the wait began.

What we thought would happen in days turned to weeks, and then to months. After about four months of waiting, his boss called him to say that he wouldn’t be getting the role. The boss of his boss refused to approve the role for him, saying that he didn’t have the required exposure for the job.

He was given another role (not precisely what he wanted, which we had prayed and agreed on), but the situation at hand left him no choice but to accept it. Matthew 18:19 tells us that “if two agree concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by our Father in heaven.” This one request was one of those things that my husband and I prayed in agreement for, for four months, yet God declined that request. Or so we thought.

The new role he was given was not in our home country. It required that he relocate to take the job, and, by company policy, it meant that the entire family relocate too. That felt like some respite of some sort. It was not what we wanted, but it wasn’t a complete NO. I gave thanks even in that. Strangely, I wasn’t disappointed. It still proves a ground for gratitude, and I praised God as if I had received the answer that I wanted.

And then he moved first to start the job and the children, and I had to wait another year and two months to be able to join him. It was a very challenging time in our marriage. But in the middle of it, I found the strength to be grateful — the grace to thank God even when I didn’t fully understand what was going on or why we had to go through what we were going through.

I never stopped praying, and I never stopped praising God. You would want to ask me what I was praising God for if He didn’t give me what I wanted, and didn’t prove the efficacy of His own words. But Jesus is all I know. He has done a lot for me in my portfolio of testimonies, so this particular NO was not big enough for me to be ungrateful for. More so, my pursuit is to make heaven, and I know that praise and worship are all they do in heaven, so I'd better cultivate that habit here on earth, too.

About 8 months into my waiting, that is, after my husband left to start his new job, he got an email relating to an immigration enrollment we had put in for 23 months before then. We put in our expression of interest, and nothing happened. We re-enrolled after 12 months, and this was the 11^th month after we re-enrolled. Personally, I had given up on that enrollment. That was another prayer point for my husband and I that I felt God was silent about, but also didn’t feel it was big enough to stop my worship.

The email came, and we were asked to submit our documents for a complete application. Six months after putting in our immigration application, we were able to get our immigration documents to join my husband in the country where he was working. The wait was over, and my steadfastness felt like it paid off. For me, it was like getting two blessings for a single wait.

But if God had stopped at this point, I would have been too blessed because I felt grateful, I felt heard. For me, it was worth the wait. But God didn’t stop there; He continued to show up. Four months into a relocation, we got another email from the country we had applied to in North America. Our application had been approved, and we were to proceed to the next stage of the process. We put our documents together again and submitted them.

Four months later, we got our immigration papers to move to North America, barely 8 months after joining my husband in Europe. We stayed for a couple of more months in Europe on our own decision before moving to North America. But if God had stopped there, I would have been super blessed and graciously grateful. But He didn’t. He continued to show up.

We decided that my husband could not leave his job yet till he got a job similar to what he had. I wasn’t working, and so we could not afford to have both of us unemployed. We went back to praying and trusting God. It was another moment of bringing to life Matthew 18:19. He applied to a couple of places and did a series of interviews, and nothing happened. I didn’t know when or how God would show up, but I was convinced He would.

After settling the children and I in North America, my husband went back to Europe to continue working. It was another time of separation. But your girl held it down with God. If He had held us this far, He will not leave us now. And surely God came through.

Three weeks after my husband returned to Europe, the boss of his boss, who had declined to approve him for the role he wanted three years before then, came visiting the plant where he worked in Europe. This senior boss was on a global tour of their company's facilities. He met my husband in person for the very first time, and they exchanged pleasantries. He mentioned that he had overheard that my husband was planning to resign. Hubby confirmed his plans and said he needed to be close to his family, who now live in North America.

They left it at that, and he wished my husband the best of luck. By the next day, my husband got an email from a regional HR Director saying the company was not willing to let him go, and if his only reason for leaving was to be close to his family, they would find a job for him in North America that would cater to that. That was on the instructions of the senior boss, who had initially declined to approve him for a job he had wanted in Africa.

The same senior boss nominated my husband for the exact job role he was praying for in Africa three years ago and ensured he got it, but now not in Africa, but in North America. Within 3 days, my husband got an offer he could not refuse. It came with a promotion. But good as this sounded, God did not stop there. But I will stop here for now.

I started this story from the point where we were praying, and God did nothing. As a matter of fact, He gave a subtle NO. At that time, it was painful that we didn’t get what we wanted. We didn’t know what He was up to, and it was as though God was cruel. But we learned to thank Him anyway. I didn’t know where it would end, but I trusted the One who was leading the way.

This write-up is just an abridged summary of what the waiting period was like. It was characterized by pain, doubt, suffering, and frustration. But while I was passing through my valley of the shadow of death, God's rod and staff were there to comfort me.

When I needed money, He provided a job for me that paid me six figures monthly, without me applying for the job or a referral coming from anywhere. Just someone who never knew me, looking me up on LinkedIn and offering me a job just like that. And I had not worked for seventeen years before that time.

His NO to my husband and I was not because He stopped being God, or His love for us failed. He was actually preparing a table before us. He took from us what we thought was the best option to give us what was a far better option than our own best. The devil tried his best to create doubt, but God’s love always shows up exactly when we need it.

In three and a half years, I have lived legally and legitimately in three countries, on three different continents, and He is still not done with me yet. I am no more special to God than you. The grace that He showed me in my waiting period is so very much available for you. The grace of God is like a river that never runs dry. The container of faith that you go to that river with determines the quantity of grace that you will carry.

We will all have our refining process with God, unless you are not like gold in His hands. As long as you are precious to God, He will continue to refine you until you shine like He wants you to, and you become all that He has called you to be.

If you are a child of God, do not despise His process; never complain on the training ground. The present suffering is nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed in you, and the entire creation awaits your manifestation.

Just imagined if I had fallen along the way. Imagine if I had cursed God, imagine if I had called Him a liar, I would not have the grace to enjoy what I have today, let alone share it with you. The process may be painful, Romans 8:18 acknowledges that truth when Paul called it suffering. But that suffering is a fraction of the glory that will be revealed in you.

A lot of people see me and call me lucky. I am not lucky; I am just the evidence of God’s goodness and grace. I am the evidence that God does not fail those who wait on Him and trust Him. When you read this piece, be very sure that your NO is not the final verdict. If He says NO today, it’s because something better truly awaits you. 

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

Fighting Depression Might Be About Showing Up Against All Odds

I woke up this morning feeling heavy and depressed. The weight of what feels like stagnancy and a long wait in the corridor of breakthrough fell on me this morning, and though this might not feel like a good time to share a blog post. This is a perfect time for me to show up.

I am one person who has experienced and enjoyed the goodness of God without measure. I have won so many battles that I didn’t even have to fight. I have experienced open doors without lifting a finger. I am one person that you would look at and feel that she doesn’t even have a care in the world. But honestly, my heart feels heavy a handful of times—a child of God who has mastered the act of being joyful in little and thankful in much.

Honestly, though, those who would say that I have no care in the world are not totally wrong. It’s just that, that is not the whole story. The devil still visits now and then, and this morning is one of such times that he decided to show up. Unfortunately for him, I have been trusting God on what to share next on the blog, so he has given me what to write on.

Isaiah 49:16 tells me that I am inscribed on the palm of God’s hands, and my walls are continually before Him. In verse 15, He says He will not forget me. But still, under His watchful eyes, the devil will show up to trouble the waters of my peace. If God permitted him, it’s because it’s a valuable event in God's plan for my life.

Psalms 23:4 tells us that even when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil because the rod and staff of God comforts us. So, we will find ourselves in places, situations, and challenges that will look like the valley of the shadow of death. But in the midst of that, God is there to comfort us and hold us through it.

True to the scripture above, let me continue with my experience this morning that lasted for a couple of hours. While I was praying, crying, and pouring my heart out to God, I picked up my phone (I am almost saying I am addicted to that tool), opened YouTube, and the first thing that stared me in the face is a YouTube Short of a lady that though I am not following, I stumble on her YouTube Shorts at least 5-6 times a day. And her words always hit me like God was using her to speak to me.

So, this morning I saw her Shorts again. For the whole minute and more of what she said, it was as though she could see through me, know exactly what I was going through, and was telling me to snap out of it. Her words were direct and precise for me. You probably would think that will make me jump out of bed in confidence. But it didn’t. I lay on that bed, cried some more, felt her words soak into my spirit, and I worshipped God.

That was when I realised God had answered my prayers and given me a word to share on the blog today. The next thing I did after that was to get out of bed, take my bath, put on my EarPods, and I began my proper morning worship. I had an agreement with God that August would be my month of dancing. I would spend between 30minutes to an hour of my morning in worship.

In the place of worship, strategies began to drop in my spirit. Ideas of growth began to well up inside of me. I began to develop a blueprint of what to do next. The purpose of the wait and the things to do in the waiting room corridor were beginning to get clearer. God was speaking while I was worshipping.

I feel a lot better now, and I have no one but God to thank for that. I have not sought counsel from anyone up to this moment. I have not shared my experience with anyone. I am sharing it first on this blog post, but I feel great again. As always, God came through. Indeed, His rod and staff comforted me. He gave me the right word at the exact right moment. That lady created that YouTube Shorts for me for today.

God knew today would happen even before it happened. He had given His word through His servant ahead of time, and because he orders my steps, He pointed me to the place to receive what He had prepared for me ahead of time. He is truly my very present help in time of trouble.

No matter the challenge I experience, and even in very good times, my default mode is gratitude. Praise and worship for me have become a weapon. I am genuinely grateful for those worship ministers that God has placed on the earth. I own their songs in my spirit, and when I don’t have any prayer to speak out, their songs become my prayer. Their lyrics become a heavenly voice in my spirit—the assurance of God’s goodness and grace in my life.

And believe me, those lyrics have fetched me countless victories. They have pulled down many Jericho walls in my life and broken countless chains. Worship is more than singing and dancing; it is for me the acknowledgement of God in my space—the evidence of His goodness, the display of His splendor, and the truth of His power. And again, this morning worship did not do less for me. It revived my confidence in God.

Depression is real. The devil throws it at us now and then, like a thunderbolt. For some, it sinks in deep, and they never recover. The interesting thing is that sometimes you don’t even see it coming. A little overthinking of an issue, and depression slips into your spirit. For days unknown, you need to ensure that you remain in the hollow of God’s hands.

The presence of God in your life and the abundance of the Holy Spirit in your life are not just for fun; it’s for a time and season when the devil comes knocking. This knocking does not come preannounced. But when God is the strength of your life, you can be sure that the door of your life will not be opened to satan.

A lady that I don’t know, I have never met, and might never meet, was the vessel God used in speaking to me this morning. I share my story, and I pray that God uses it to meet a need in your life, too, in Jesus’ name.

Thank you so much for visiting this blog channel. Your time is well appreciated. Please help a friend by sharing this with others. And keep visiting because I assure you that there will always be something to inspire you here.

There is something more to offer. 

🙌 Discover the kind of thanksgiving that unlocks breakthroughs and builds unshakable faith.

✨ Gleanings from the Throne of God is a powerful guide to understanding God’s Word from a place of intimacy and truth. It is a 10 mini-books in a single book. It talks about marriage, parenting, handling worry, and so much more. 

It is a must-have in your collection of faith-building tools.

📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.

💍 God’s Rules of Engagement in Marriage is a one-of-a-kind book filled with timeless biblical wisdom and practical “marriage hacks” for building a strong, lasting, and joyful home.

It’s not just theory—it’s a complete blueprint rooted in Scripture, enriched with real-life stories, and packed with proven principles you can apply to your marriage right away.

This book has been a guide and blessing in my own journey, and I believe it will do the same for you. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or looking to strengthen your current one, this is a resource you’ll return to again and again.

✨ Ready to experience it for yourself?
👉 📘 Available for FREE — in eBook and audiobook formats.